Hello Comrades, it is I, Silent Soviet. Welcome to chapter 5 of spit that hot fire. Quick note, I don't own anything I'm using, from songs to games to RWBY to guns. The only thing I own is the idea of Zirc. I guess I forgot to mention that in the last few chapters. Another thing I forgot to say (although I doubt it matters) is to review this story. You can be a critic if you want, but I'll only listen if you add it in with an answer. Anyway, the answers to the last references were: American Badass by Kid Rock, Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd, Let me oh by E. Dubble, and the game is Deadpool. I don't know what kinds of references are going to be in this one, only that there are four. This is also part filler, part info chapter. To clear things up, Zirc was thinking about Yang as a sisterly figure. Not as a dating option, even though that will surely earn him a black eye from Yang, and a shot from Ruby. Do not worry, Zirc will be paired with someone, and the first to figure the references out will decide what happens in the next chapter during the fight scene. So with that, lets begin!
Zirc P.O.V"Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, and Yang Xiao Long, You collected the White Rook pieces, and from this moment until your graduation, you will be known as Team RWBY, led by: Ruby Rose." Ozpin said, leaving the team to look, well surprised. "I'm so proud of you!" Cheered Yang. As they left the stage, the only person left was I. Which meant I either didn't make it (impossible), or he was gonna put me up on stage in front of about 3- 400 people. Which would trigger something inside me, had my dad and Gerald not helped me. "Now, as most of you may have seen, one of the students had taken down an alpha Nevermore single handedly. He, however, has no team, for there were not enough pieces to receive. He now will be randomly put on a team or in his own room. Only the hat will decide." Said Ozpin, as he put his hand in a top hat containing team names and pulling one out. 'Not RWBY, Not RWBY, PLEASE NOT TEAM RWBY!' I crossed my fingers and chanted in my mind. "The team to house this individual will be…. Team RWBY! Congratulations, young man!" Said Ozpin, too happily, almost as if this was planned. I heard 2 cheers, a loud "WHAT!?" from Weiss, and a "Well, this is new" from Blake. "BUT HE'S A GUY! AND HE'S GOING TO BE IN AN ALL GIRLS ROOM!" Screeched Weiss. Ozpin simply retorted with "Hey, a person must learn to sail in all winds." Shutting Weiss up effectively. She then shot me a glare and said "If you try anything, I will personally castrate you with a rusted Spork." I replied with "The day I try anything is the day I get a girlfriend. Plus, I only see Yang as a sister, only because I've never been in a relationship and would screw everything up. Besides, I have a friend named Neptune who is much better looking than I." I said, Receiving a punch from Yang, and a 'you're dead if Yang cries' action from Ruby, to which I replied with "I'm forever alone, kill me if you like." This completely fuckin' threw them off, before Yang shrugged in acceptance. Ozpin interrupted with "I've already made arrangements for you to live there, there is another room attached to it, albeit smaller." "It's fine", I said, accepting my fate. We walked to our rooms with JNPR, before Yang asked me: "What the hell kind of codename is Zike?"
(5 Hours later, same pov, Rwby's room)
'Fuckin A' I thought as I saw my room (Imagine Fry's room when he's living with Bender), perfect for me and ripe for decorating. I looked at the wall dividing my room from the girls'. "That needs to be sound proofed, my 'Special' Nights can get crazy," I said, hoping no one heard me, because my special nights are my game marathons. "Good thing Ma had a studio." I said, for I had inherited that and used it as a playroom, before stripping it when I was 15, because I knew my nights got wild. I heard a knock on my door. When I opened it, Ruby was standing there in her Pajamas. "Hey, Nora invited us over for a sleepover, but made it girls only. So Jaune and Ren are going to stay here, make sure they don't touch anything, okay?" She said, rather fast. "Okay, they'll just chill in my room, it's large enough and they can help me decorate." I said. "Cool, because they're right here." She said, revealing the two annoyed looking boys behind her. "See you guys later." She said as she walked out of the room, leaving us 3 alone. "So are we really going to work?" asked Jaune. "Fuck no" Said I. At this, they brightened up immediately. "So, what ARE we gonna do?" Asked
Ren. "Simple, Rock out to Bohemian Rhapsody, Play some Cogs Of Battle 3, Eat Doritos and Drink Mountain Dew all night long. Maybe swap some manly stories, and in the morning… I'm makin waffles." I declared, sitting upon my Bean Bag Throne. "Well then, Let's get this party started!" Yelled Jaune, as we commenced into an entire night of Horde Mode.
Yang POV, 3 hours later
"Alright, no more sweets for tonight, one of y'all is gonna get sick." I said, for Ruby and Nora were neck and neck in a race to see who could eat the most candy. "Oum, I'm bored," complained Weiss. I could already see this going downhill, so I said "Why don't we go spy on the guys? See what they're doing." At this, all 9 girls (We met Velvet earlier, after kicking Cardin's ass, and a rather short girl with multicolor hair and eyes joined us when she saw we were Swegtastic MLG 420 Snipars.) Smiled creepily. They all looked at each other and nodded, so I took that as the agreement to do it. We headed down the hall toward our rooms, when we heard a muffled "SON OF A BITCH, COVER YOUR ASS, IT'S A LAMBENT BERZERKER." From a deep, familiar voice, and from a slightly more feminine voice "REN, WATCH YOUR ASS, THAT BOOMER NEARLY TOOK YOU OUT," and from a voice that was Ren himself "SHUT THE FUCK UP JAUNE, I WAS TAKING OUT A GRINDER THAT WAS ABOUT TO GET YOU!" "REALLY? THANK YOU!" "YOU ARE WELCOME, AND THANK YOU!" YOU'RE WELCOME AS WELL!" "BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP AND WATCH THE SCREEN!" At this, we had to find out what was going on, for it had piqued our collective interest. We tiptoed to the door and opened it, only for it to reveal that that our dorm room was empty. The shouts could still be heard, however, and were louder than ever. We shared a confused look with one another, before going to Zirc's door and inching it open. What we saw, heard, smelled and felt, shocked us to the core. The smell of sweat, soda, and chips was in the air, bags of discarded Doritos and bottles of Mountain Dew were everywhere, and in the middle of the room, almost butt ass naked, sitting in bean bag chairs eating Doritos, were Ren, in green boxers, Jaune, in gold boxers, and Zirc, in plaid. All 3 didn't notice us sneak in, because they were all swearing like sailors at the game. We decided to have a little fun with them.
Zirc POV, same time.
"YOU SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT. YOU CAN TAKE YOUR STUPID ASS GOLDEN HAMMERBURST, AND SHOVE IT- LUDACRIS SPEED- UP YOUR ASS!" "IF I EVER FIND THAT FUCKNUGGET IN REAL LIFE, I WILL TIE HIM TO A PLANK AND LET A SCHOOLBUS DRAG HIM!" "THAT DUMBASS KNOWS THEY FIXED THE FREE GUN GLITCH, IT WAS IN THE UPDATE FOR THIS GAME. IT EVEN SAID IT RIGHT AT THE FUCKING BEGINNING!" After we were done shouting at the fuckhole at the other end of the screen, we decided to call it a night because it was pretty late anyways. We each got into our individual beds (I had set up 2 futons) and were about to drift asleep, when I felt a presence in my bed. I didn't care and snuggled up next to it, happy that it had done the same. We drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, dreaming of what was to come.
Yang POV
"SURPRISE!" We yelled, alerting 2 of the 3 presences. They shot up with arms around them. When Ren looked to the person who was hugging him, he merely sighed and fell asleep. Jaune, however, was not used to seeing his partner in lingerie, right next to him, almost crawling on him. He let out a high-pitched shriek, before a tomahawk embedded itself into the wall right next to him, with a note the said something that made him turn white, lay down, and fall asleep. When I had read the note, I had almost fainted. It read 'Squeal like that again, and I will sew your mouth to your asshole and watch you shit in your mouth and puke in your ass. 3, Zirc.' Speaking of which, I hadn't seen him get up. I followed the tomahawk as it slowly went back to its owner, and what I saw I almost couldn't comprehend. Zirc, the big Billy Badass, was cuddling with short stuff (Neo). Who was cuddling back as they were both asleep. I snapped a picture, then crashed on my bed, the rest of the team followed suit.
How was that chapter? I dint count the references, so whoever comes up with the best references decides. Until chapter 6, Soviet is saying peace.