Tina's the next one to see Artie's broken crotch stuck at the fork, except she's too late to swerve the left tunnel. She's already shooting down the straight path, the Right Slide of Doom, which probably drops you onto spiky things; but Nick and Jeff and Joe like being creative with their traps, so, because they already used spiky things with the Penis of Salvation on the third floor, the Right Slide of Doom here on the seventh floor probably drops you into a pool filled with sharks and evil fishies.

Tina saves herself by throwing her rope-hook thingy at the fork, where it sticks into the wall. She grabs onto Ryder's hand, who's still holding Kitty, and then they're just hanging like that, a human chain with Artie just sort of sitting in a daze at the fork. Maybe he can't feel below his legs anymore; Artie told her that he used to be like that in his past life.

Now she and Sam are quickly sliding in, but now that Artie and Tina aren't moving anymore, Brittany realizes just how steep the water slide is and how fast they're going and they're not going to be able to stop—

She slams into right into Ryder and Kitty, knocking them out of Tina's grasp. She tries to grab one of them—she gets Kitty and they hook elbows together in a tight chain as Tina's hand clasps around her ankle.

This is looking really bad. Artie is still sort of out, just sitting on the fork in the slides. Tina holds onto her hook-rope with one hand; ther other is wrapped around Brittany's ankle in a vice grip that sort of hurts, but at least they're not going down the Right Slide of Doom. So she has Kitty hooked in her arms, and Sam's holding onto Kitty's ankles, and then Ryder is at the very bottom. His legs are hanging in empty air and the rushing water running down the slide keeps trying to pull him over the edge and into the darkness below, and Brittany really doesn't want him to be eaten alive by evil fishies because he saved her from drowning!

The grip between Brittany's and Kitty's locked elbows slip as the rushing water pulls them down. "I can't hold on!" Kitty shouts.

"Should I let go?" Sam yells.

"Hey!" Ryder cries from the bottom of their human chain. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"I'm just saying," Sam responds. "We should take one for the team!"

"This is just the sixth floor," Tina grunts from above. "And we just lost Motta. It wouldn't be good to lose another two."

"Just climb up!" Kitty screams as her elbows slip; the water's making their skin all slick, plus it keeps trying to pull them down and off the edge of the slide into the pit full of sharks. Brittany might be able to keep her elbows locked, but that won't matter if Kitty's the weak link in their human chain. "Ryder! Climb up our bodies!" Kitty orders.

Brittany is facing the bottom of the slide headfirst, which means she gets to watch all the action below her. Kitty is lying on her back; Sam is on his front; and Ryder's hands keep groping around as he tries to find a grip on Sam's waist, only Sam took off his belt on the floor above with the magnetic rolling pin, so when Ryder puts all his weight on Sam's waistband, the pants come off right away.

"Waugh! You perv!"

"I'm trying not to fall off here!" Ryder screams, his body lurching to a stop when Sam's pants become bunched up around his ankles. Now his entire waist is hanging off the edge of the slide.

"Good, you do that! I really hope you won't be getting any future wet dreams from having a great view of my sexy—"

"If that's supposed to be punny," roars Ryder as he does a pull-up, his biceps clearly visible through his wet white shirt as he curls his body weight, "I'm not laughing."

"Quit screwing around, you two!" Kitty screams.

Slowly, Ryder pulls his lower body away from the empty blackness and back onto the water slide. He hooks his elbows and then his knees in Sam's bunched up pants. From there, he just has to inchworm his way up Sam's back.

"Ah! don't grab onto my boxers! Ouch! Take it easy, I'm a sensitive guy! Stop grabbing—"

There's a resounding smack as Ryder punches Sam; Brittany's not sure if he had been aiming anywhere in particular, but the blow jiggles Sam's right butt cheek. "Shut up!" Ryder screams. "I'm just trying to climb."

"Trying to tear off my clothes, more like! You're going to leave bruises on my—"

"I said, stop fooling around!" Kitty commands thunderously, lifting her head to look down at Ryder. "What are you waiting for? Don't take a break, because I can't!"

"I… I…" Ryder looks very seriously up at her, his knees braced against Sam's shoulders, and his expression is so seriously that, even though Brittany's still giggling at Sam's neon green boxers, Ryder's expression forces her to be super-serious to match. "I can't!"

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"Com'on dude, you viciously tear off my pants, get a good look at my sexy green boxers, pound my butt, and now your crotch is in my face, but you can't jump onto somebody else's—!"

Kitty kicks Sam in the head at the exact moment that Ryder drives his knees into Sam's shoulders. He loses his grip and shoots down the slide, screaming all the way, "I still looove youuu—"

And then he's flying for about half a second before dropping into the pool of sharks and evil fishies.

Brittany sighs in relief as the weight on her arms goes down from three to two. "Hurry," she calls.

Ryder takes a deep, calming breath from where he's hugging Kitty's knees, then booms, "Where the hell am I supposed to grab?"

"Get your ass into gear and just do it," Kitty says murderously.

Ryder looks her straight in the eye. "I'm sorry," he enunciates very clearly.

In reply, Kitty knees him in the face. "What did I tell you?"

Ryder hooks his knees onto her ankles, resting for a moment before propelling himself upstream and sliding onto Kitty's body like a penguin. His legs clamp around Kitty's waist and his arms wrap themselves through Kitty's armpits and over her shoulders like a koala bear hanging on for dear life, and then from there, he just has to flex his biceps again, pulling his torso up slowly across Kitty's body, fighting against the water current the whole way.

Then he's shimmying his way up Brittany's body and it feels completely different than anything she's ever really felt before because it's like a reverse 69 except backwards, so sort of like a 66, only you would take the first 6 and flip it upside down and then that would describe what Ryder's doing to her backside. Oo. Oh! That's interesting. Ah! She'll have to have somebody try that one.

Then she notices that Kitty's crying, so she whispers, "You can hide your hurt/ But there's something you can do/ You can talk to me."

Kitty can't wipe her eyes since she's too busy holding on for dear life, but she can shake her head. "It's fine."

-o-o-o-o-

The left slide takes them to a flat grating that lets the water drain underneath it. They just lie there for a couple minutes, gasping like good little fishies out of water, trying to take in as much oxygen as they can into their tired, sweaty muscles.

"Down two members," Tina mutters.

"Neither of which could swim," Ryder adds sadly.

"Sam took one for the team," Kitty declares solemnly. "His noble sacrifice shall be remembered."