"PUT THE BATMAN MAN IN TE FAT CAN IN THE BLACK OVEN AND LIKE IT BACK WHACK LIKE A HAT DANG!" shouted King of The Zoras, whose name became Zuru while his daughter, Ruto walked up to him rolling her eyes at his command.
"Father, we don't have an oven, a Batman, or any of the other mambo-jumbo you've created," sighed Ruto, rolling her eyes.
"WHAT!?" shouted King Zuru, nearly falling off his throne but was stopped by the arrival of two quick Zora, who quickly pushed him back up." THERE'S A COOL KID STUCK IN A WELL!? GET HIM OUT!"
"Yes, King Zuru sir!" shouted A Zora Guard, quickly saluting before going to find said cool kid in the well.
Ruto slapped her face for the tenth time this week, STRANGE ISN'T IT!? It's almost like she's doing THE EXACT SAME THING MALON DID BEFORE BUT IN A DIFFERENT WAY!
Ganon, what are you doing narrating my story?
Uh….I can explain?
Whatever, but you do realize you're not supposed to make an appearance until like a few more chapters in. Zelda and Saria's problems aren't even introduced yet, so your arrival this early means that the plot has been-
Wait, there's a plot in this story and if so, do I finally beat Link and get the Triforce?
Not even close big guy, no homo, but we'll get into your part later. Right now, we've gotta stop breaking the fourth wall otherwise the walls will come tumbling down. And we're not talking about getting a Halo.
Now, more funny Ruto time!
"Father, for the last time we don't have a bacon cheeseburger!" shouted Ruto for the last time in a seemingly endless argument with her father.
"WHY DON'T YOU JERKS HAVE FREE PARKING AND WHY CAN'T I GET MY DOUBLE BACON CHEESEBURGER!? I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR OVER TEN MINUTES AND I'M STARTING TO GET VERY HUNGRY! YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT WHEN I'M SO SKINNY AND WITHOUT FOOD!" bawled King Zuru at the top of his lungs, craving for tHat burger like a lifeline."I'LL GO INCREDIBLE HULK ON YOUR MAMA'S!"
"What kind of fish needs human food!" shouted Ruto, clenching her fists before furiously throwing them to her sides, stomping her left…..fin like a girl.
"I DO! LOOK AT ME, I'M TOO HEAVY TO GET OFF THIS THRONE SO THE LADIES HAVE TO SEX ME WITH THEIR EYES!" shouted King Zuru."DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WANT CABLE!"
"We can't even get cable because we lack the necessary means, and technology, to actually get it here in our kingdom and if we could that stuck-up blonde won't let us play with her toys!"
"NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE WE WON'T! GUARDS SUMMON THE PUPPIES AND RAINBOWS AND ALL THINGS GIRLY SO THAT WE MAY KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS!"
"Yes, sir, right aw-"began Another Zora guard about to salute.
Ruto turned to him, her eyes filled with anger so fierce even one's mama would die on the spot." SO HELP ME DIN, IF YOU DO WHAT HE SAYS I WILL TAKE YOUR SPEARS AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR BUTTHOLE!"
The Zora quickly saluted before running out the room even quicker, sounds of loud sobbing echoing throughout the hallways.
"SOMEBODY'S ON THE FIN TODAY OR IS IT THE B-SAUCE!?"
"I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT B-SAUcE IS IF YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE A MORON AND TREATING ME LIKE A PIECE OF BREAD!"
"YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER! BEGONE WITH YOU MORTAL!"
"Okay, so how does this fourth wall work exactly?" asked Din to Farore who took the time to study the ancient scrolls while Nayru went shopping.
"It says that if the wall is broken by characters in a story beyond its extent, then it shall break like an egg," replied Farore slowly reading them as if they were an alien language." To break the wall, one must directly talk to the player or reader or do actions that go against the flow of this story."
"So if I were to say that we will go down to the mortal realm to see how they are doing in about ten chapters or so from now, then this wall will be broken?" asked Din curiously, breaking the fourth wall with her own question.
"Yes, my dear, now if we break it too often we will never get a chance to go to the mortal realm, so please let us end the chapter with this note," agreed Farore, shaking her head slowly.
The screen faded to black as two women started at something for a while.