I own nought.
Chapter 8.
Katniss POV
I breathe in the clean air feeling more at ease than I have in months. I am home or at least in the same state as home. It has been six months since I left and I've missed it a lot. It has been a tough six months. I don't make friends easily and without Gale's help I probably wouldn't have lasted as long as I had in LA. Coming back held its own problems though, I think as the memory of blond curls and blue eyes flash in my brain. I push it away. I am time enough worrying about him.
The cab has just dropped me of at my new home for the foreseeable future. It's a lovely big house not far from campus and I am sharing with Jo and Annie from home plus some other people I haven't met yet. I make my way up the steps and before I reach the top the door is flung open and Jo is jumping on me.
"Everdeen! I have been waiting for fucking ages."
I take a stumble back.
"Jesus Jo, try not to kill me before I get through the door!" I laugh at her as I try to untangle myself from her hold.
"The Seam girls are back together and we are going to rip this place up!" She hollers to nobody in particular standing at the top of the steps.
"Jesus you are crazy already and we haven't even been here a night yet!" I laugh as I throw an arm around her waist and haul my suitcase with the other. "Come on and show me my room."
Jo leads me into the house and up a flight of stairs into a room on the first floor. It's a lovely old fashioned room with a double bed and its own washroom.
"Wow all this for me?" I turn and look at her enquiringly
"Only the best for my best friend." She shoots me a cheeky smile. I just raise my eyebrows at her because I know she isn't that generous.
"Ok, I was gonna have it myself but I figured it was too near everyone else and I don't want to keep you all up with my filthy antics and I plan on having plenty of those!"
She laughs and I feel my face flushing slightly.
"What am I in for?" I tease her.
I lift my case onto the bed and start to open it.
"So where is Annie? Has she arrived yet?"
Jo doesn't answer so I turn to look at her. She is pretending to study something interesting on the floor.
"Jo?"
"She went over to see if Finn is settled into the dorms ok." Silence settles over the room as I let her words sink in.
"Right." I answer quietly.
I haven't talked to Finn since I left Seam and I am dreading seeing him. More than that, I am dreading seeing his room mate more.
"I don't want this to be awkward for Annie, Jo." I turn to face her. "I have to face him sometime I know, but….. I'm still so angry at him." I sigh.
I am coming closer and closer to the moment I have been dreading for months. Ever since I accepted my place here and Jo had told me he would be here too, I have been a nervous wreck. You would think a two week relationship could be easily forgotten, but not so. Peeta Mellark had gotten in under my skin. I had fallen for all his soppy lines and then he had hurt me to the core. It wasn't something I could get over easily I was finding out to my detriment.
"You must think I'm a fool for letting this still bother me?" I look at her as I plop myself down on the old fashioned bed.
Jo shakes her head and sits down beside me.
"He fooled me too you know." She pulls my hand onto her lap. "He seemed really cut up when you left. He wasn't going out, he avoided all his friends. I believed you broke his heart, you know." I flinch at her words knowing that he had never felt that way.
"Well you know the truth now. He didn't even wait until I had left the state before he was in Glimmers Pants!" I rage, the events of that night still as fresh as the night it happened.
"He was so heartbroken it took him all of two months to find a new girlfriend!" The knowledge that he was now with Madge twisted like a knife in my gut. "I don't know if I can do this Jo, he really hurt me and I just don't think I can handle seeing him."
Tears run down my cheek as I let myself remember the best two weeks of my life. He had changed me during those days together. I had let my guard down, something I had never done and he had torn my heart to shreds. I hated him for it but yet I couldn't seem to forget him and allow myself to move on.
"Kat, you can do this. He hurt you but he is the fool, he is the one who is losing out." She gives my hand a small squeeze and I look into her brown eyes. "I am so glad you are here and I promise you I won't let him hurt you again."
I rub my eyes annoyed that I have let myself cry over him again.
"Besides Kat, this campus is crawling with hot young guys and looking the way you do, you will be fighting them of honey!"
I laugh at her now.
"No thanks Jo, they are all yours!"
She jumps of the bed turning to give me a saucy smile. "Believe me Everdeen, I mean to try as many of them as I can!" With that she struts out of the room leaving me to unpack and get settled into my new life.
An hour later I hear a soft rap on my door and get of the bed to open it.
"Katniss!"
Annie pulls me into a hug as she wraps her arms around me.
"God you look fantastic! I love the California tan! Life in LA must really agree with you." She pulls back from me and takes in my appearance smiling widely at me. She looks the same. Still stunningly beautiful with a kind, soft personality.
"You look brilliant too Annie!" I can't help smiling back at her. "It's great to see you in person instead of on skype." I laugh thinking of the couple of times we caught up on video phone over the past six months.
"I know, it's been too long Kat." She gives me a soft smile and I catch a flash of sadness in her eyes.
"Wanna go downstairs and have a catch up over some hot chocolate?" I ask, happy to have my friend back.
"Suuurrrre" she answers hesitantly. "Is it ok, …. I mean I wasn't sure…..Finn is downstairs." She blurts out.
I feel knocked for six. I wasn't expecting to have to do this so soon but I don't want Annie to feel like she can't have her boyfriend over so I just flash her a wide smile.
"Oh…. Ok, I'll say hi to Finn. I haven't talked to him in ages." I blabber, my heart racing now as I follow her down the stairs.
Finn is standing in the kitchen with his back to us. Dread fills my stomach as I am unsure of the reception I will get.
"Finn, well here she is! Our long lost friend from fancy LA!" Annie is rambling obviously unsure as to how her boyfriend and friend are going to greet one another after all the drama.
Finn turns slowly round and stares at me. I stare back unsure what to do but I won't be making the first move. He looks me up and down and then lets a slow smile break out over his model perfect face.
"Well you're a sight for sore eyes!" He grins at me and I find myself smiling back. Finn was always hard to stay mad at and just because his best friend is the worst person on the planet doesn't mean I have to take it out on him. He walks slowly over to me and envelopes me in a soft hug.
"I missed you Everdean." He mumbles into my hair. I find myself hugging him back, a pain tugging at me as I realise I missed him too. I missed his friendship and his smart-ass mouth.
"Missed you too Odair" I mumble back. Annie just stands at the doorway beaming at us.
"Alleluia! The gang is getting back together!" She says not realising her words have a negative effect on me.
"Not quite". I pull back from Finn, not wanting to meet his eyes. We can be friends but they must know I can't hang out with them as I used to. I can't be in his company.
Finn studies me for a moment, his face displaying his indecision on whether to voice his thoughts. I'm hoping he won't.
"Kat, I don't want to get into this with you…"
"Then don't Finn!" I answer sharply.
"I have to. I don't want to fight with you Kat but I have to speak up for my best friend."
I glare at him, raging he is ruining this already.
"Its over Finn, I don't ever want to talk about him!" I shout, the wobble in my voice betraying how much it still hurts me.
Finn looks at me exasperated now, running his fingers through his bronze hair.
"You sound just like him you know…." He trails of and I'm hoping he won't continue. I walk over to the kettle and put it on to boil.
"Katniss, just talk to him, let him explain. The guy has been in pieces since you left."
It's the wrong thing to say to me. I turn slowly round fixing Finn with my strongest glare.
"Pieces? Are you for fucking real? He is with Madge Undersee last I heard. He sounds really heart broken Finn!" I gulp down my anger trying to calm down.
"Please Finn, don't try to fix this." I speak more softly now, hoping Finn will listen to my heart felt words.
"Whatever Peeta and I had, it's broken and it can't be fixed." I can feel the tears coming and I try to hold them in as I meet Finn's steady gaze. "He really hurt me Finn and the fact he is with Madge now only proves to me I was right. I should never have trusted him and I can never be friends with him."
I walk slowly over to him now, needing to escape the room before I fall apart.
"Leave me out of your little gang." I whisper as I walk by him.
His hand shoots out and grabs my wrist.
"He loves you Katniss, he always has…."
I yank my wrist out of his grasp and run out the door hoping Annie doesn't notice the tears streaming down my face. This is harder than I ever imagined it would be. I run up the stairs and fling myself on the bed not even bothering to pull the covers over me as I let the sobs wreck through my body. I hate Peeta for making me this weak. I hate him for making me feel this way. Unfortunately I know it's not really hate my traitorous heart feels. I want to run away again.
Please, please review!
