"Your Urgency, I bring urgent news!" exclaimed Impa, yet calmly walking into Zelda's bedroom while she is busy texting.

Wait, where'd she get that phone from because Hyrule does not have that type of technology with their research; unless they actually had a phone which would-I'm doing it again, aren't I?

"So urgent that you couldn't have text me without barging into my room!" shouted Zelda, throwing her phone across the bed before sitting up, crossing her arms over her chest, and pushing her eyebrows together.

"Wait, where did you get that?" asked Impa, pointing at the cell phone on the other side of the bed."We don't even have that type of technology, let alone resources to supply the means for that thing!"

"Traveling Merchant who goes across the dimensions, selling items that most people don't have," translated Zelda.

Bullsticks!

"Anyway, I bring urgent news-" began Impa.

"Is it about-" began Zelda, her eyes filled with excitement as she leaned closer to her caretaker.

"SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH FOR ONCE!" snapped Impa, shoving Zelda back onto the bed.

Zelda was more dazed than angry as she stared at her otherwise obedient, calm caretaker; who then straightened her posture and cleared her throat. She placed a hand on her hip,"Yes, it is about Link, moreso his condition, Your Annoyance. I don't know how to say it but…...he's mourning."

"NOOO!" wailed Zelda, quickly falling into the fetal position on the ground, sobbing loudly."HE WAS SO YOUNG!"

"Yes, Your Wailiness, he was very young-"

"AND HANDSOME!"

"That as well-"

"HE HAD SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!"

"Well, he did have thirteen mouths to fed-"

"OH THE HUNGRY CHILDREN!"

"Do not worry, Your Grievousness, his children are in good hands, as long as they aren't blown away by the leaves, since after all they are very leafy."

"OH THE-" Zelda stopped her crying spree, rose on her knees, and tilted her head at her caretaker." Wait, what?"

"Yes, Your Interuptness, Link's friend, leafy friend, Lemmy Mackintosh, has been killed by none other than-"

"MALON GET THE MILK!" shouted Talon, hiding underneath his bed, clutching a small crate of milk to his chest, in the fetal position." THEY'RE COMING TO TRY AND TAKE IT!"

Malon was busy submerging herself in Lon-Lon cream, which she believed had the restorative powers to heal wounds specifically Third degree burns that she got from Link's fire magic. She regretted killing Lemmy, but knew this entire task would be much harder to achieve. For now, she was going to heal and ignore her Father.

"GET THE MILK, MALON, I KNOW THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE IT! I SEE THEM WITH MY OWN EYES!" shouted Talon, cowering in fear." THOSE DARN TEENAGERS!"

A group of teenagers were quickly making off with crates upon crates of Lon-Lon Ranch milk, leaving no trace behind before riding off into the forest nearby.

"That's horrible!" gasped Zelda in disbelief.

"Yes, it is very messed up, Your Gaspingness," replied Impa shaking her head slowly.

"I can't believe that redhead had enough booty to do that to one of Link's friends!" exclaimed Zelda, causing Impa to stare at her with her gaping mouth."And I always thought the alternative version of Saria was bad!"

A loud coughing sound was heard behind Zelda, who was none other than the alternative Saria, who stared at her in annoyance. Zelda chuckled lightly." No offense."

"Anyway, Your Insultfulness, what do you suppose we do?" asked Impa, placing her hands behind her back.

"We shall have a funeral to commemorate-however you say it-his death, and achievements made in Link's life!" commanded Zelda with a dramatic flourish of her hands.

"But, Your Generousness, his body has been scattered around the kingdom. How are we ever-"

"Rally the troops for investigation, and search every corner of the world if you have to for his parts, and don't comeback until you find them all!"

"But-"

"DID YOU FIND THEM ALL!"

"No, but Your-"

"THEN BEGONE!"

Impa blinked at Zelda three times before going to rally up the troops to find the missing leaf man.