Author's note: Strong language

Ages: Kai - 17, Eli - 16

This one's an AU of the AU...if that makes any sense. It was actually written just before I introduced Ronan into things, and I decided I liked it the way it was. So no mention of either him or their father in this one.

"Awe, c'mon Kai. I can do it!"

"No way."

"It'd be useful. I mean, Light can't protect me all the time, especially if I end up someplace like the World That Never Was."

"And the chances of that happening are...?"

"Pretty good, with our luck! We've ended up completely misfiring before, remember?"

Kai let out a mild growl at that, glancing up through his bangs at his friend. Eli was still perched on the log on the other side of the fire, watching him hopefully.

"You'd need a better reason than that for me to risk your aunt's wrath. I'm not teaching you."

"But it doesn't hurt you!"

"That's different, it's..." Kai trailed off, shifting his gaze to the flames. It was different because he was...and sometimes he hated thinking about it. "Try again."

Eli slumped on the log, absently chewing on his lip as he thought. Then he straightened, grinning. "What about your dad? And my Riku. They haven't fallen to Darkness. Really Kai, I've got a strong Heart. What're you so afraid of?"

What was he afraid of? Screwing up. Losing his only other friend besides 'Jem. Dragging someone down into the Darkness with him, to a place where Light was only a memory.

"Fuck."

Eli snorted laughter, then coughed. Serious. This wasn't a game, what he was asking Kai to do. It was a big deal, and he'd be in the worst trouble ever if anyone found out about it...which was reason enough to forget the thought had ever crossed his mind. Still, he was certain he could control it. Kai managed, didn't he? He'd been dealing with it for almost three years and he was fine.

"Kai-"

The silver-haired boy raised a hand to stall him, then sighed heavily. Really, to ask something like this...he should've expected it.

"Let me sleep on it, okay? I just need to think."

"'Kay!"

More than happy with that answer, Eli moved off the log to stretch out on his sleeping bag. He watched Kai in silence for a few minutes, until the other boy crawled into his own.

"Night, Kai."

"Night, Eli. ...You think 'Jem's okay with your mom?"

"Yeah, she's good. Mom'll take real good care of her 'til we get back...man, let's not mention we went offworld for this camping trip, huh? I'm still kinda in trouble for everything, I'm lucky she let me go."

"It's your own big mouth that did it, haven't I taught you anything?"

"Nothing worth remembering." Eli snarked, then laughed at the stick that whizzed by his head. "Missed!"

"Goodnight, Eli."

Betrayal wasn't a foreign concept to Kai, but he'd been lucky enough to not experience it firsthand...until now.

It was hitting him hard, because he was being betrayed by nearly the last person he'd thought capable of it.

Eli.

The younger boy was watching him with an uncharacteristic smirk on his face; Kai stood frozen, aware of the Heartless surrounding them both. How was this even possible? Surely traveling through the Corridors hadn't caused this? Eli had his compass, after all; it had always protected him from the Darkness.

"Eli...come on. We can talk about this, okay? I understand you're upset-"

Brown eyes flashed; something violent surged behind them, and a Shadow darted out, clawing Kai's arm. He hissed in pain, pulling away. Damn, how'd he miss that?

"Upset? Upset? I'm beyond upset, Kai. This is your fault, you know? If you hadn't taken me through the Corridors...hadn't shown me that Darkness wasn't all that scary...well, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

Kai frowned at that. Those things alone shouldn't have been enough to trigger this. But there was something else.

"It's not my fault she's dead, Eli. I didn't do that. That's on you."

For a second the angry expression on the brunette's face faltered. Kai caught a glimpse of fear and regret, and then it was gone.

"No. You. Your fault. You opened me up to this, Kai. You promised it'd be okay."

"I didn't think you were capable of this!"

Kai's uninjured arm swept out towards the Shadows. Eli's gaze followed, then he smiled.

"My mom always said I had potential."

Eli was dreaming about Larkin; nothing embarrassing for once, just a variation on that time she'd pounded Igor into the floor with his pillow, when he was woken by- well, the best he could tell, a jerk. Nothing physical, but it pulled at his dream, shredding it. It happened so fast he was barely aware that he was awake now, and staring across the now-extinguished fire at Kai, who was sitting up with his face in his hands.

"...Kai?"

"What."

"Uh...you okay?" Rubbing his eyes, Eli blinked at him in the early morning light. Probably a stupid question, from the way his friend looked. After a moment's silence, Kai glanced over.

"No."

"It was just a nightmare, you know, and-"

"No."

Eli got the sudden feeling he wasn't disputing that it'd been a nightmare. He sat up, pulling a leaf out of his hair.

"'No' what?"

"'No' I'm not teaching you how to use the Darkness. Not now, not ever. I don't care how much you beg, or give me those stupid puppy eyes of yours, or what you try and bribe me with, the answer is, and will always be, no."

Eli's mouth dropped open, then shut with a snap at the expression on Kai's face. Arguing this suddenly seemed like the worst idea ever. Instead he nodded in silence, and watched as Kai seemed to relax a little.

"Sorry I woke you up."

"Naw, it wasn't any big thing...just Larkin- I mean, when we were kids."

Eli coughed, fighting back a blush. He wasn't doing this again. A snicker reached his ears, and he smiled a little himself. Well, there was that.

"Are we eating or going back to sleep?"

"Eating. I brought chocolate cupcakes for breakfast, remember? You really want to wait on that?"

What Eli wanted was to know exactly what Kai had dreamed, but he'd live longer if he didn't ask. Instead he dove for the backpack, rooting through it.

Maybe he could ask tomorrow.