"GET THE MILK! GET THE MILK! GET THE MILK! GET THE MILK! GET THE MILK! GET THE-"
"SHUT UP, DAD!"
Malon's Father slept a lot, so much that she was a victim to Ingo's bullying and comedy, but whenever he was awake he always freaked out over the milk. He believed that there were people who were out to steal the milk, selling it for much more money than it was worth since they were the best. Sadly, Malon would always be the one he would yell at since she was the only woman who actually milked the cows by the horns before HITTING THEIR MOTHERS WITH AN IRON FIST NAMED HENRY! HENRY LOVES TO GET GANONDORF THE-
Again, Ganon, again? How are you doing this exactly? Whatever, back to the milk yelling.
"MALON THEY'RE TRYING TO GET THE MILK! I KNOW THEY ARE!" shouted Talon, walking through Castle Town with all eyes fixed on him and an angry, embarrassed Malon."ESPECIALLY YOU JESSICA!"
Jessica, a woman who ran the farmer's market stall, threw her hands in the air wondering why she was always blamed for trying to steal his milk.
"Ignore him, Jessica, he doesn't mean it!" countered Malon, waving her hand at Jessica.
"NO DON'T DO IT MALON!" shouted Talon, quickly running up to a nearby pot and smashing it with his foot." THEY'RE PLOTTING TO GET TO THE MILK THROUGH YOU!"
"Dad, stop freaking out about the-" began Malon, looking at her Father before bumping into Impa, who was covered in red liquid.
"Sorry, Malon, I was unaware that you would be with your Father today," said Impa, staring daggers at Talon who hid behind Malon.
"Yeah, I'm still really sorry about the last encounter you had," replied Malon, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly." He was freaking out because-"
"THE MILK MONSTERS ARE COMING!" shouted Talon, quickly turning around, failing his arms around like a moron, running off to wherever his legs take him.
The two stared at the trail of mayhem, screaming, fire, and destruction before turning back to their conversation.
"He really, really loves the milk," replied Malon, chuckling nervously.
"Yes, yes he does," replied Impa, raising an eyebrow at Malon before dismissing her thought."Anyway, if you'll excuse me I have to get this gump off my body."
"Say, Impa, what is that stuff anyway?"
She shuddered inwardly, remembering what had happened only a few days ago." I'd rather not talk about it."
Impa walked away as Malon shrugged, turning her head toward the path of destruction her father left behind.
"RATO! RATO! RATO! RATO!" shouted King Zuru.
"I'm right in front of you, Dad," replied Ruto, blinking twice.
"DON'T YOU KNOW WHEN TO KNOCK!?" demanded King Zuru.
"We don't have a door," replied Ruto, slowly.
"THEN WHY IS THERE A BLUE DOOR NEAR THE ENTRANCE!"
"Those are the Zoras that you ordered to act like a door until we get one, which makes no sense since we can just swim."
The Zoras moaned in pain feeling their legs and heads hurting from maintaining their pose for three days.
"WAIT WE'RE BLUE!? THAT MEANS WE ARE SMURFS! OH GOD NO! NO! RLATO! RLATO! RLATO!"
"Still here Father."
"TELL EVERYBODY IN THE KINGDOM THIS SHOCKING NEWS! EVERYBODY BUT ZELDA AND HER LOVELY LADY LUMPS! SHE SHALL PAY FOR NOT TELLING US THE JUICY DEATS AFTER EVERYONE ELSE HAS KNOWN!"
"Um, Father, the Gerudos would-"
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE GERALDS! TELL EVERYBODY ELSE THAT WE'RE SMURFS OR I SHALL SMIT THEE WITH A HAMMER OF JUSTICE AND NASTINESS!"
"But, Father-"
"I WILL PEE ON YOUR FACE IF YOU DO NOT GO NOW!"
Ruto quickly ran out of the room, fearing that King Zuru would pee on her face, leaving the smiling King alone with the door of Zoras.
"THAT WAS TOO EASY!" shouted Zuru, smiling.
"Sir, I beg your pardon, but some of us are tired and hungry and we have families to feed along with-" began The Top Zora, feeling his friends trembling legs.
"DOES THE FAT CAT BAT MAT LOVE TO RAT DAT WITH A BLACK DAT!?"
"Um…..no?"
"YES! YES, YES IT DOES AND YOU WILL NOT MOVE UNTIL I SAY SO! NOW COMENCE THE FOURTH WALL BREAKING!"