"How in the world did you get him into cooking?" Jeannie and Maggie, wrapped in bulky cardigans and sipping glasses of white wine, were sitting on a thick wool blanket on top of the berm. The blustery fall afternoon had given way to a calmer, cool evening and stars were starting to appear in the purple-blue of twilight. The almost-full moon was adding a mesmerizing luminescence to the waves and the sand.
Maggie's signature throaty laugh floated through the air. "It was his idea, really. I was making a pot roast one night just after we got here and he suggested a couple of the things he had seen you do. He was forever bragging about your pot roast; it was really beginning to tick me off," she chuckled and Jeannie grinned. "So I threw down the gauntlet. I said, if you know better, you do it. And he did."
"And?"
"It was delicious." She laughed again. "Cooking was never my forte anyway. I'm a Jersey girl, what did I know from cooking? I was glad to turn that particular chore over to Mike and he just reveled in it. He started haunting bookstores for cookbooks! When we entertain, which is not too often, thank goodness, he handles the entire night, from hors d'oeuvres to dessert. My own personal James Beard," she finished with a proud and loving flourish.
Jeannie laughed affectionately, shaking her head. She looked down the beach to where she could see her father and Steve walking on the sand just out of reach of the lapping waves.
"Do you know he has this week's entire menu planned out? His intention is that we celebrate all the holidays this week, as this is the only time we're probably going to be seeing you and Steve this year." Maggie reached out and took Jeannie's free hand, pulling her close. "So tomorrow night we're having a ham for Thanksgiving, one of your patented pot roasts to celebrate all our birthdays, and the night before you both leave, a turkey for Christmas. I have a feeling you and Steve will be going home with doggie bags!"
Jeannie laughed, leaning easily and lovingly against her stepmother. She knew that she loved this woman for so many reasons, from her strength of will to her bawdy and sarcastic sense of humour to her deep, genuine love for her father. She held out her wineglass and a smiling Maggie clinked hers against it.
# # # # #
"So you really are feeling okay?"
Mike chuckled and looked at his companion sideways. "I feel wonderful, really. I haven't had any chest pain in weeks, my stamina has come back and, after the first few months of looking over our shoulders, I'm relaxed. Really."
"So you've stopped looking over your shoulder?" Steve asked, concern slightly colouring his tone.
"Well, after awhile, we both realized, we can't spend the rest of our lives doing that. It's not how we want to live. The most important thing for us now is that we're together, and we want to live the rest of our lives together – and I mean live, not hiding, not checking under the bed every night, not in suspicion of every new person that we meet. We can't do that."
Mike stopped and turned to the younger man. "Please don't mention any of this to Jeannie, okay? I don't want her to worry unnecessarily but Steve, Maggie and I have decided that we're just going to live our lives and if something happens, then that's what's going to happen. And as long as it happens to both of us, and we're together, well, that's the most important thing."
Steve stared at his old friend, then smiled and nodded and turned to continue along the sand. Mike grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
"You understand what I'm saying right?"
Steve's smile grew bigger and warmer. "Completely," he said warmly, walking on. As Mike fell into step beside him, Steve slapped him on the back, sliding his hand up to rest on his shoulder. "So, ah, when did you become Mike the chef? And, ah, a dog? Mike Stone with a dog? You gotta tell me about that!"
# # # # #
Jeannie and Maggie could hear the men's laughter drifting towards them on the air, and they both smiled warmly. Lying in the tall grass at the bottom of the berm, Autumn's head snapped up and she looked down the beach, whining slightly.
Jeannie gestured towards the dog with her glass of wine. "You know, I never expected Mike to get a dog, ever. We never had one when I was growing up, and I just never thought of him as a dog person."
Maggie was looking at the old Golden with an affectionate smile. "I never had a dog either, but for some reason, once we moved in here, it just seemed like the perfect idea. And she's been a godsend, really. She became attached to your father right away, and he her."
Jeannie looked at her stepmother with a slightly furrowed brow. "Well, I can understand getting a dog, but why one so old? I mean, she's a real sweetheart, there's no denying that, but she's not going to be around much longer I wouldn't think. Wouldn't it have been better to have gotten a puppy?"
Smiling sadly, Maggie looked from Autumn down the beach towards the men, then to her stepdaughter. "Well, that probably would have been the proper thing to do, but, well, there was a certain method to our madness. Our first concern was for appearances, of course. And we thought that maybe having a puppy might be a sign that we were a new couple and that having an older dog might make it look like we'd been together for years before we made the move here."
Raising her eyebrows, Jeannie nodded approvingly. "That's a really good point; I don't know if I'd've thought of that." She picked up the bottle of wine they had stuck into the sand and refilled both their glasses.
As Jeannie poured, Maggie said softly, "Well, that wasn't the only reason I wanted an older dog." When Jeannie looked up, brow furrowed, she continued softly, "I know you're thrilled to see your dad looking so well, but sometimes things aren't always what they seem, Jeannie."
When the younger woman looked at her in alarm, she continued quickly, putting up a hand to wave away any concern, "No, no, don't worry, he's fine physically, he's in excellent health. But he really still hasn't come to grips with all he's lost - you, Steve, Dan, his career, the house – hell, even the city he loves so much.
"The night of the wedding, after he said good-bye to you for the last time and we went to the room to wait for the FBI to take us away… well, your father had a breakdown that night." Jeannie gasped and put a hand to her mouth. Maggie smiled sympathetically and put an arm around her shoulders. "He needed that, Jeannie, he really did and it was good for him to be able to get everything out.
"But since then, he's kept everything inside. When he gets a letter from you or Steve or Dan, or the few times we've been able to talk to you on the phone, I can see him just bottling everything up. I know he wants to cry but something keeps telling him that he can't, that he has to be that kind of man who doesn't do that sort of thing – or maybe he thinks he has to be strong for me – I don't know what it is, but he's got so much loss and grief locked inside and he scares me sometimes." She paused. "He has bad days, Jeannie, days when he just goes deep into himself and he barely smiles and he doesn't want to eat. I give him his space on those days. Luckily they are few and far between and he comes out of them the loving and wonderfully funny and caring man that he is but they scare me."
She dropped her eyes and took a deep breath. When she looked up, Jeannie was staring at her with so much sympathy and love that it almost broke her heart. Maggie took Jeannie's free hand in hers and squeezed. Shaking her head and smiling through her near tears, Maggie said, "So, that's one of the reasons I wanted Autumn. Mike needs to grieve, one way or another. He loves her so much and I know he's going to be devastated when she dies, but I am hoping it's also going to allow him to grieve for more than just her – for everything else that he's lost in his life. And so, maybe – just maybe – he can finally start to recognize that this is our new life, our new reality, without this ache in his soul that I know is there."
She looked down the beach towards the men, who were getting closer, and the adoring smile and look of love were unmistakable. "And now that he knows that you and Steve aren't gone from our lives completely, that we can see you once in a while, even if it means flying halfway around the world first," she chuckled and Jeannie smiled warmly, nodding and laughing lightly, "well, that's just the best thing for him and for all of us. Right?"
Jeannie had put her wineglass on the sand and now she gripped Maggie's arm in both of hers, pulling the other woman close. She leaned her head against Maggie's shoulder, tears starting to slide down her cheeks. "Right."
Maggie turned her head, kissing Jeannie's hair, overwhelmed by the love she felt for this remarkable young woman who was now her daughter. And both women watched as the men approached, hoped that in the fading light their tears would go unnoticed.