"I want her admitted." Beca said finally. She kept her eyes locked on Jaiden's doctor; not wanting to see the look she was sure that the younger girl was giving her.
"No," Jaiden shook her head and looked over to Chloe even though she knew the redhead was just as powerless. Dr. Wilson sighed, but nodded and then glanced at her sympathetically.
"Okay then," She turned towards Jaiden now, hoping to calm the teenager down before there was a recreation of what had happened earlier that morning. "Jaiden, I'm going to take you up to Psych and help you get-"
"Beca, please don't do this. Please don't leave me here. I'm sorry. I'll do better." Jaiden begged suddenly. Beca pursed her lips as she felt her sister's hand on her arm, and she forced herself to pull it away.
"Come on," Dr. Wilson coaxed. She had one hand on her pager; prepared to call a code if the 18 year old got anymore worked up.
"Beca," Jaiden whimpered. She planted her feet firmly as Dr. Wilson tried to pull her away, and jumped as an observing nurse joined the situation and took her other arm.
"This is for your own good." Beca's voice was thick and she didn't look at the younger girl as she spoke. Chloe watched the entire situation in heartbroken silence.
"Alright, let's go. Someone will get you the paperwork in a second," Dr. Wilson briefly addressed Beca and then focused back on her increasingly hysterical patient. She and her nurse finally got Jaiden moving, and the party slowly started towards the elevator. The psychiatrist wanted nothing more than to get her admitted without having to use sedation. She kept a firm, but still gentle hold on Jaiden's arm, not wanting to trigger her, and used her free hand to guide the brunette's back.
"I love you. I'm sorry." Beca called halfheartedly. She felt Chloe's hand envelope her own and bit her bottom lip, trying not to cry. The two of them watched Jaiden as long as they could before she disappeared behind the sliding elevator doors.
"Beca?" Chloe tugged on her arm a bit. "Are you…are you okay?"
"No," The smaller girl grunted. "Nope."
"I'm so sorry." Chloe offered. Beca prickled as she put a hand on her back and brushed her off. She didn't want comforted right now. She wanted to be able to fix this and she couldn't and she couldn't shake the feeling that she was pushing Jaiden away after everything.
"Thank you," Chloe's voice pulled Beca out of her thoughts and she saw that a nurse had handed her a clipboard full of paperwork. A bit numb now, Beca allowed herself to be led into the waiting room and into one of the chairs. The nurse had marked each line that needed Beca's signature and Chloe pointed them out quietly; wanting to help the younger girl in any way she could.
"Did I just mess up? What if she's not alright up there? She's going to think I'm giving up on her-"
"Beca, this is the best thing you can do for her," Chloe interrupted firmly. "Let them take care of her and just look after yourself for once."
"But I'm abandoning her!" Beca snapped, earning herself a look from the night-shift nurse. The tiny brunette scribbled her last signature onto the agreements and stood up from her chair abruptly. Chloe followed Beca and winced as she slammed the clipboard down onto the front desk on her way out.
"Beca, stop. You aren't abandoning her. You're keeping her as safe as you can and that what's you promised her that you'd do." Chloe had grabbed Beca's arm and forced her to stop. Darker eyes found Chloe's blue ones and the redhead could see the pain that flashed through them. "This had to happen."
"I just…I should be the one keeping her safe. Not them. I should be enough." Beca's voice waivered and she shook her head. "Why am I never enough?"
"You are," Chloe assured her. "Beca, let's please just go home and we'll go to bed and we can talk in the morning." She cautiously reached forward and took Beca's keys from her; not wanting the upset girl to be driving. To her relief, Beca relented and started towards the car with her at a much more reasonable pace. She climbed silently into the passenger seat and put her seatbelt on as Chloe took her position beside her. Neither girl said anything as they pulled back out onto the freeway and headed towards the apartment.
"What are we going to do without her at home?" Beca mumbled finally; about 15 minutes into their drive. Chloe glanced at her briefly before sighing.
"I don't know. It's only temporary though. She can come home when she's ready."
"Do you think she's going to hate us?" Beca asked.
"Maybe for a little while. But you and I both know she loves you, and all of her hostility is going to be completely fear based."
"Yeah," Beca sighed as they pulled into the apartment's parking lot. After everything, she was emotionally and physically drained. Beca's legs felt like cinderblocks were attached to them as she stood and forced herself into the building. Chloe's hand soon found her's, as it had for the entire drive home, and she held Beca tightly the entire way up to their door. Still using Beca's keys, Chloe unlocked the apartment and led her inside, where the lights were still on from when they had left. Chloe hit them casually as she followed Beca to their bedroom and crawled into bed beside her. She could feel Beca's exhaustion in the way the brunette had sprawled out, and Chloe could only think to hold her tighter as they lay together in the darkness.
"This is all going to be okay, Beca. I love you." She whispered after a few minutes. The smaller girl didn't reply before she drifted off to sleep.
"I shouldn't be here," Jaiden shook her head back and forth definitely as Dr. Wilson led her to her room. She was dressed in odd white scrubs, the apparent uniform for inpatient residents, and clutching a blanket to her chest. They had taken her phone upon admitting her and the dark haired girl was getting more and more panicked by the second. She jolted to a halt as her psychiatrist began to unlock a door and glanced around the empty hallway. The wing was quieter than she had expected it to be, even for 3:30 AM.
"Dr. Wilson, I need to go home. I'm not crazy; I don't need to-" Jaiden voice cut off as she was tugged into the room and met by a very scared and very familiar gaze. "Emily? W-what are you doing here?"
The slightly younger girl didn't reply; only stared at the gauze on her arms and then rolled over as Dr. Wilson turned on the lights above Jaiden's new bed.
"You two are both the newest patients for today, so you'll be sharing a room." Dr. Wilson half-explained. She gestured towards the bed nearest Jaiden and then dimmed the lights again. "Get some sleep. We'll have your treatment plan ready in the morning." The young woman prompted. Jaiden watched as she let herself out and shut the door behind her; no doubt telling the on-duty nurses to watch for escapes throughout the night. Still shaken up, Jaiden cautiously made her way over to her bed and climbed into it with her blanket. The 18 year old pulled the scratchy fabric up to her chin and rolled over to face the wall. The smell of anti-septic brought back a whirlwind of painful memories; all of them related to the recoveries from her step-father.
"My parents sent me," The voice from the other side of the room was so quiet, it was almost drowned out by the ticking of the clock on the wall. Jaiden perked up a bit and then rolled over to face her roommate's bed. "I screwed up."
"Same here," Jaiden huffed. "Except it was my sister instead of my parents."
"I don't want to be here." Emily whimpered. As fearful as Jaiden was, she knew her nerves didn't come close to what the other brunette was obviously feeling. There was a tremor in each word she spoke and Jaiden couldn't help but feel bad.
"Me neither." She said. A slight sigh sounded from Emily's bed and Jaiden shut her eyes; unable to offer any sign of comfort. She was nearly beside herself as well, but she just wasn't as bad at hiding it.
As Jaiden tried to fall asleep, she couldn't help replaying all of the stupid things she had done. Her mind was still clouded a bit from the alcohol, but she was sober enough to see now how idiotic she had been. Sneaking out had been bad enough, but coming home drunk seemed so immature. And if she had had any idea it would turn out like this, Jaiden would have settled for suffering with the nap-induced insomnia.
"'-M sorry…" Beca grunted. Chloe jolted awake, having just drifted off, and frowned down at the girl in her arms. Beca twisted slightly, obviously having some sort of vivid dream, and put her arm limply out in front of her. "I'm sorry!" That one came out a bit more clearly.
"Beca? Beca, wake up." Chloe kept her voice at a mind volume and she squeezed Beca's shoulders lightly.
"Jay, I'm sorry, just…no!" This time, Beca thrashed around and her fist nearly hit Chloe after a wild swing of the arm. The older girl sat up completely, now fully awake and alert, and she gripped Beca's arms before pushing them down to her sides. Awoken by the contact, Beca's eyes shot open and flitted around in a bit of a panic before finally locking on Chloe. The redhead let out a small sigh of relief and then squeezed Beca's arms comfortingly.
"It's okay," Chloe lay back down beside her and kissed her temple softly.
"I can't stop thinking about her. What if she's freaking out?" Beca mumbled tiredly.
"She'll be alright. Her doctor seemed really good." Chloe stroked Beca's side and willed the brunette to relax back against her, like she had been when they fell asleep.
"That paperwork said we can't visit for two weeks."
"I know," The older of the two sighed. "It's just so their program can work without too many distractions. Baby, please just go back to sleep."
"Okay. Sorry." Beca rolled over and buried her face into her girlfriend's chest. Though it didn't fix the sick feeling in her stomach, Chloe's hands at least warmed her up a bit. Fighting the worries that had plagued her dreams, Beca drifted back to sleep.
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