Hyrule Madness

by Nstorm

Chaos assures in Hyrule as Link's obsession with leaves has grown out of hand, Zelda's actually acting like a princess, Malon's Father is freaking out over milk, and to top it all off, Ruto is the sane one. With a lot of problems with no solutions, Malon and her friends will have to live their lives in what is known as Hyrule Madness. Rated L for Lemmy and crack-fic mayhem.

11. Big Black Beard Balls

"IMAP GET RID OF THE BIG BLACK BEARD BALLS!" shouted Zelda, as Impa walked away from her room, massaging her temples while trying to ignore the princess."THEY'RE DRIVING ME INSANE!"

Ever since the arrival of a mysterious entity known as Big Black Beard Balls, Zelda has been screaming at her guards nonstop to get rid of the Big Black Beard Balls that seemingly come out of no where and jump scare poor, annoying Zelda. The effect has been nothing but pure chaos as the guards have been driven to the point where they are literally drinking Lon-Lon Milk in order to keep up with the screaming princess. Every day, every night, every waking second of every day Zelda has been doing nothing but screaming her lungs out over the Big Black Beard Balls. It was amazing that she hadn't lost her voice due to the screaming over Big Black Beard Balls, and morose that the entire town wasn't trying to kill their ruler for destroying their minds over screaming over Big Black Beard Balls; but what's even more strange is that nobody knows what race or where the Big Black Beard Balls came from. One thing was for certain: they were going to need a lot of bats to take care of the Big Black Beard Balls. For now, Impa was just going to go to the far reaches of Hyrule where her screams couldn't be heard to give her some rest over all this commotion about Big Black Beard Balls.

Meanwhile, over in the Mushroom Kingdom…..

Wait, wrong story.

Meanwhile, over in the Kingdom of The Zoras…

"RUTO! WHY ARE THERE THESE BEING CALLED BIG BLACK BEARD BALLS AND WHY ARE THEY CAUSING A COMMOTION IN THE KINGDOM OF THE HYRULES!" shouted King Zuru, pointing at Ruto who shrugged.

"I do not know, Father, however I hope you do realize that we are all in Hyrule, and we're not our own separate kingdom," replied Ruto, sighing loudly shaking her head in disbelief.

"YES WE ARE OUR OWN KINGDOM NOW SINCE THE BIG BLACK BEARD BALLS HAVE BEGUN THEIR INVASION!" shouted King Zuru." SOON THEY SHALL ENSLAVE THE HUMANS AND MAKE PEACH COBBLER OUT OF THEM THEN-"

"You know what?I'm done," interrupted Ruto, waving a fin at King Zuru before marching over the waterfall." Call me when the Big Black Beard Balls are gone!"

"RUTO COME BACK!" shouted King Zuru, turning his head just in time to see Ruto jump off the throne room, and down into the water.

He turned his head, the sound of the tranquil wind blowing and the sound of the waterfall crashing loudly like a symbol. He sighed.

"SHE DIDN'T EVEN STAY UNTILL THE PART WHERE SHE WAS GOING TO BE QUEEN OF THE BIG BLACK BEARD BALLS!" exclaimed King Zuru.