Chapter 17

Peeta

I had messed up. That much was clear.

My flight from New York had arrived in on time last night and Finn had greeted me at the airport with the news Katniss had returned. I had murmured an acknowledgement to the information trying to downplay any reaction as my stomach transformed into knots. It had been six years since I last saw her but still only the mention of her name was enough to make my heart beat faster.

I had tried everything to forget her, even to go as far to marry Madge which had been an utter disaster. I should have known, just as my childhood self-had known, I was never getting over Katniss Everdeen.

I had been left destroyed by her cruel dismissal six years ago. Blinded by my total love and infatuation for her, her rejection had left me broken and bitter. I had jumped at the chance to go to Paris, happy to put as much distance between us as possible. I didn't want to hear any details about her getting together with Gale which I was sure at that time was only a matter of time. I had been convinced his accident would be the catalyst for their reunion.

Turns out I had been wrong about that. They had never gotten together. Finn had phoned me to Paris five years ago, having talked with Jo he explained Katniss had been sick for near a year and had a breakdown, cutting herself off from everyone. I had been stunned but by that time was a newly-married man. I couldn't have hated myself more.

My relationship with Madge imploded. I had used her and I felt terrible and even though I was determined to stick it out, Madge wasn't. I didn't blame her in the least, even though looking back I couldn't help but think she took advantage of the situation. I knew she had liked me and my damaged heart had enjoyed the attention and devotion she displayed to me. Madge always knew where my heart lay though, so when she finished things she told me not to feel guilty, she knew my heart belonged to Katniss, she just thought she could carve out a little piece for herself.

After Madge moved out I argued with myself what to do. Part of me wanted to run straight to California and beg Katniss to see me. I knew she had heard about my marriage and could only imagine what she thought of me. I was a complete fool. The problem was I had just never felt good enough for her. She had always seemed so unattainable in school and when we eventually got together I ended up losing her twice. I couldn't help feeling that she just didn't feel like I did. When we were together I couldn't imagine anything that would have made me give her up. She was everything I had wanted but I was sure she just never felt the same way.

Rather than face another round of heartbreak that I was sure I wouldn't survive, I buried myself in my work and tried to erase Katniss Everdeen from my mind. I thought it had worked, right up until the moment Finn announced she had moved home. Here I was five years later, palms sweating and heart pumping at the thought of seeing her again and I knew it had all just been a waste of time.

As I looked round the church the familiar faces blurred in front of me. It was my best friend's rehearsal and I couldn't seem to focus on anything except the fact that Katniss was about to walk in any second. Annie had asked her and Jo to be part of the wedding party once she knew they would be coming home. As her oldest friends it made sense although I knew Katniss hadn't really spoken much to Annie in recent years.

The door at the rear creaked open and I couldn't stop myself from looking up sharply. My heart stopped as first Jo and then Katniss made their way inside the building. She had grown even more beautiful if that was possible. Her hair was down in long loose inky curls reaching her waist. Her skin seemed to be glowing and was darker than ever and her body was encased in a clingy green silk dress which caressed every curve. She was a knockout and I was as smitten as ever. Pure emotion rushed through me as my body recognised its other half. How I had ever thought I would get over her confounded me.

I couldn't help but take a step towards her before I stopped myself. I watched as her eyes scanned the room, flitting over the crowd before they came to rest on me. Before I got a chance to react she looked away and moved further into the room to greet Annie. My chest deflated, she hadn't even signalled that she recognised me, never mind that we had once been as close as two people could get.

The priest signalled that the rehearsal was about to begin and the next hour passed in a blur as I did my best to pretend she didn't affect me. I couldn't help though glancing her way as often as possible when she wasn't looking, drinking her in like a starving man. If she went to look my way I quickly dropped my eyes, avoiding her cool indifference.

Finn and Annie had the foresight to match me as an escort to Johanna. As I met her icy stare I wasn't sure if she was a better alternative to Katniss. Taking her arm as we walked from the altar I couldn't help but blanch as she greeted me.

"Been a long time Goldilocks…" I turn my head to face her as she greets me.

"Yes it has Jo. How have you been? I answer attempting to be civilised.

"Me? Just peachy." She smiles sweetly. "Just back from nine months of sand, surf and …. Well I'm sure you can imagine." I can't help but shuffle uncomfortably as she sniggers quietly at me.

"Kat and I …. Well that girl is like a man magnet. Have you seen her yet?" Before I can conjure an answer she ploughs on "Of course you have, I nearly had to mop up the drool when your jaw hit the floor when she walked in." I don't know how to answer her and stumble slightly as we reach the end of the aisle.

"Oh brainless you really should have waited. You must be killing yourself now that you didn't fight for her. You were just number one of a long line, that girl is flicking them off like flies now." Her eyes flash as I watch as she struggles to rein her temper in.

"Enjoy your night Peeta." She mumbles as she leaves me standing looking dumbly after her. She is right, I am killing myself.

"Move dumbass"

I lurch as Cato Williams shoulder shoves me and I turn to fix him with a glare. I freeze as my eyes fall on his companion who he has just escorted down the aisle.

"Sorry" I mumble as Katniss raises her face and her eyes clash with mine.

Where earlier there was cool indifference, now there is scorching heat as her silver eyes flash at me. My heart stutters as I come face to face with her for the first time in years. She is breath-taking. We enter a silent battle waiting on someone to make the first move and speak first.

"Hey Peeta, have you met Katniss?" Cato interrupts, trying to be suave unlike the womaniser I know him to be. Cato is a cousin of Finn's and I have been in his company enough times over the years to know he would try it on with anything with a pulse.

"Yes, we've met" I murmur, still locked in her gaze. "How have you been Katniss?"

Katniss raises her head defiantly. "Great Peeta, thank you for asking." She answers coldly before moving past me "Excuse me, I just recognised an old friend."

"Oh you guys know each other that's great!" Cato interrupts "Look bud would you mind giving Katniss a ride to the rehearsal dinner? I hooked up with her best friend last night and let's just say that woman is wild, …" the rest of his sentence is drowned out by the rush of blood in my ears. Panic sets in. I hadn't decided how I wanted to deal with Katniss yet. I was unsure if I should try to avoid her completely or fall to my knees and beg her forgiveness. I look across the room and my eyes meet hers again and I know in that minute there is no point fighting it, she owns me as much now as she did six years ago.

I mutter my agreement to Cato and make my way over to her as the crowd disperses for the dinner venue. Gathering my courage I signal my presence.

"Hey." I greet her as she turns to look at me in confusion.

"So Cato has asked if I can give you a ride to the rehearsal dinner. I think he is escorting Jo…" I trail off unsure of what her reaction will be.

Katniss looks nervously around the room. "That's ok, I'm sure I can catch a ride with somebody else." She answers coldly.

Looking round the church I notice we are the last people left as the door shuts signalling the wedding party has gone.

"Don't be so stubborn Katniss, it's only a ride and everyone else has left." I signal around us.

I watch as she struggles with what to do. Her beautiful face displaying her inner turmoil.

"Fine." She grunts before pushing open the door and making her way outside.

I can feel my temper start to bubble as I follow her. Her attitude is starting to piss me off.

I rush down the steps as I see her standing beside my father's car, arms crossed.

"What is your problem?" I ask, all platitudes gone.

She looks at me sharply, six years falling away as we really look at each other for the first time. I can see her struggle with herself as to how to answer my question as she searches my eyes.

"Just say it Katniss". I prod, just wanting her to lose the ice queen act.

"Fine. I'm pissed at you Peeta. I can't stand to look at you." She fumes glaring up at me and I can't help but admire her fiery beauty.

"Well I'm pissed at you too" I toss back at her.

She looks at me in shock.

"What have you got to be pissed about?" She all but shouts in my face.

"Maybe the crappy way you treated me six years ago!" I fume. The barriers are down and all my emotions I had buried for so long come rushing to the surface.

"I forgot my God damn phone and you cut me out of your life just like that" I click my fingers, my fury bubbling over. "You always were cold hearted Katniss but even that was a bit much for you."

She looks like she wants to strike me.

"You Bastard! My best friend nearly died, I'm sorry if I wasn't thinking about you!" She shoves me hard and I take a step back. "I was going through a really bad time, but what about you? You couldn't have cared less. You stopped calling and emailing and before I knew it you were happily married in another fucking country!"

I watch in shock as tears drip down her face.

"Not so happily." I murmur in answer.

"What?" She sniffs, looking at me questionably.

"I said not so happily. Madge and I, we weren't happy." I trail off.

"I don't care. I don't even know why I'm crying. It all too long ago now."

She meets my eyes and before she can turn away I lean in, trapping her against the car.

"You care." I whisper, my face so close now I can make out every freckle on the bridge of her nose. Her chest rises and falls sharply as both our breathing increases. Her scent overcomes my senses as my body remembers every curve and line of her and I can't help pressing myself closer to her.

"Peeta…. don't." she squirms slightly and it only increases my attraction as I feel myself harden against her. Her hands come up to push against my chest and instead curl into my shirt. Before either of us can think about it I dip my head and brush my lips against hers. It's like the best dream imaginable and I can't stop myself as my lips connect with hers again and again, devouring her as I try to make up for the long lonely years since I last kissed her.

My soul feels alive again as colours explode behind my eye lids. My fingers inch into her silky locks and I can't help but grab her closer as I register the small moans coming from her mouth. My tongue sweeps into her mouth, drinking her like nectar as I explore every crevice that I once knew so well.

Before things get out of hand I reluctantly lift my head away from hers, caressing her cheek.

"I thought this was over Katniss but I don't think it ever will be"

She pushes me back gently, her face flushed.

"It is over Peeta. I don't give third chances."