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And soon as you submit, surrender flesh and bone, that love takes on a life much bigger than your own.
It would happen that Beryl invited all the couples over the next evening for a game night and they met at Alfred's football game the next day. To say there was an awkward moment between them was an understatement. They were polite but dismissive, not wanting to slip but struggling to be in the same vicinity as the other. Nobody else recognized their changed opinion of the other and took their coldness as civility.
After a week of barely seeing her husband, Elsie made her decision. It wasn't one she took lightly, but she knew it was the right one. Her thoughts were never far away from Charles and their blissful week they spent together. She wanted to see him alone more than anything else in the world.
Charles was equally as miserable. He shuffled on with his work and came home in the evenings to an indifferent wife and two children who didn't seek his company. He wondered what Elsie was doing, what she was thinking. He hated running into her with other company around. He longed to touch her and show his support for her. He only prayed that she would allow him that great honor. He promised himself not to interfere with her ultimate decision, but he hoped to God he was an influence.
A week after they returned to daily life, they bumped into each other in the supermarket. Both were alone without a spouse.
Elsie wished him a good day and tried to walk past.
He grabbed her arm and stopped her from walking away. "It's no good, Els. I can't go on like this."
"Charles, shh." She looked around to be sure nobody was listening.
He pulled her so she saw the desperation in his eyes. "I've got to see you."
"Oh Charles, I want to see you too."
"Els, it's not over is it?" He waited for her answer as if his life depended on it, and it did.
She shook her head. "No, it isn't." She looked around again to make sure she wasn't over heard. "I have a meeting tomorrow about proceeding with a divorce."
He was shocked to hear of this development. "Let's meet each other, somewhere, just to talk."
She nodded her head and spoke quickly, in hushed tones. "How about we drive to the little diner at the corner of…"
"Yes, I know which one. 8:00 tomorrow night?"
"That should work. I'll give Joe some excuse." She was flustered again, looking around.
"Els," he brought back her attention. "Are you alright? With everything that is. I know what a step this is for you."
She exhaled and brought her hand to his arm. "Thank you, Charles. And, yes I am alright."
With that they parted.
The next evening, Elsie sat in her car in the diner parking lot. Joe had a late meeting, so she was in the clear. The meeting with her lawyer went extremely well and she wanted to share it with Charles. She also needed some more of his encouragement. She was planning on broaching the subject with Joe the next day. She kept her eyes on the people who walked into the diner, making sure there was not anyone she knew. She kept checking her watch and her heel was bouncing against the floor.
She turned on the radio while she waited.
Nah nah honey, I'm good. I could have another but I probably should not. I've got somebody at home…
She turned that off with a hard slap to the dash board.
Charles soon pulled up beside her. She jumped out of her car and climbed in his passenger seat. They sat and smiled at each other, not sure what was the right move to make.
"Hi." Elsie said.
"Hello." Charles replied.
She tried to tear her gaze from him. "I had so many things to tell you, but now I can't think of a thing."
"Me neither." He paused trying to collect his thoughts. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know, we could go for a drive."
"That sounds nice." He started the car again.
As they were pulling out, they both noticed the hotel sign across the street. They felt the air thicken as they both held their breaths.
Charles exhaled as he turned down the road. "Yes, I think we need a long drive."
There was too much they needed to say to each other, so they were silent for the beginning of their drive. Elsie kept wringing her hands in her lap. Charles noticed and offered her his hand, which she took and calmed a bit.
She decided to dive into the inevitable conversation head on. "I met with our lawyer today."
He spoke softly. He didn't want her to feel cornered. "How did it go?"
She couldn't decide if she should be happy or melancholy in this moment. "It went very well. We went over the steps that would be taken. It will certainly be a process but I am confident that it is the right decision." She squeezed his hand.
"I know what you mean. I spoke to my own lawyer earlier this week only to find that Alice met with him while we were gone. Alice and I have had a talk."
"And how did Alice react?"
"She was defensive. Asked what she did to me to make me hate her. You know how she twists your words and throws them back in your face."
Elsie nodded. She had some very heated arguments with Alice over the years, mainly about sharing a comb or a necklace. Elsie could only imagine Alice's row with Charles over a divorce.
"Why did she meet with your lawyer without you knowing?"
Charles sighed. "It seems that she wanted protection if and when we both decided divorce was are next step. She has already asked for full custody and she wants provisions for their future.
Elsie looked over sadly at Charles. It was a bloody business.
"We agreed that I should move out next week."
Elsie bit her lip. "The lawyer thought it was best if either Joe or I move out too."
An atmosphere descended. Neither was willing to look at the other. The answer was staring them in the face.
Charles drove them to the top of a nearby overlook. There was a small parking lot where people came to enjoy the view. It was empty that night. They looked out over their town, the lights from houses creating a beautiful picture. He parked the car and addressed her.
"Els, we could…"
"But should we Charles? What on earth would Alice and Joe say?"
"Well, they will have to know sometime. Not right away of course, but we could keep it private for a few months."
"I think that is best."
There was a pause in conversation before Charles spoke. "I have a lease on an apartment about 20 minutes away. One bedroom…"
"Well that's all we need, isn't it?" She looked at him warily out of the corner of her eye.
He had to smile at her forwardness yet her obvious apprehension. "Yes, sweetheart, that's all we need." And he leaned over and kissed the corner of her mouth.
"Elsie, there is no way in hell you have thought this through?" Joe was finally fully listening to her. "You have no means to support yourself and you can't be dense enough to think I will be giving you anything other than what the court decides appropriate."
Elsie sat at their kitchen table, fiddling with the ends of the table cloth. "Joe, this has nothing to do with money. We have nothing in common anymore. You are always so busy with work and I can't live like that anymore. My decision is purely emotional, not financial. And I need to do what I think is best for me."
He stood from his seat at the table. His tone was neither hurt or indifferent, but almost annoyed. "Well maybe you should have considered the financial aspect. You have no income to speak of…"
"Why is everything always about money with you? I don't want your money! I will find a job somewhere and support myself, simple as that."
Joe turned to the counter and gathered his briefcase and laptop. "Elsie, I don't have time to talk about this now."
"I know you have to leave again. Can't you get it through your head that this is the part I can't go on with? I need someone who cares about me and wants to be with me."
Joe turned to her with his things in his hands. "Well I hope you find that person Elsie. And I will find someone else to fill my needs." With that, he sauntered out the door.
Elsie's face widened and her feet felt weighted to the floor. A thought came to her and she knew it couldn't be far from the truth. He hadn't needed her in any way in years. She suspected he had already found that someone else to fill his needs.