Author's Note: Hello all; for this chapter I thought I'd try something slightly different and embarrass someone other than poor Blake for a change, so I've decided to pick on Miss Goodwitch instead this time. I hope you enjoy; it's mostly comedy fluff. As always, I love to get feedback, so whatever you care to leave in the reviews would be appreciated. Also, in answer to the question of reader 'That One Guy,' to the best of my knowledge, no one has actually drawn Mina – I describe her in the most detail in the first few chapters, and I would draw her myself, except that I can't really draw… sad face…
Miss Goodwitch's office was tidy as always; everything in neat stacks and in its proper place, just the way she had set it. Being that school discipline was among her duties of foremost importance, Glynda supposed that it was only fitting that she should model what good discipline and orderly conduct looked like so as to set a positive example for the students. There was certainly something to be said about order and discipline – after all, anarchy was no way to live – and orderly people got things done, which was why she had decided that she couldn't put off taking care of this any longer. Thus, she had asked Miss Carfax to stay behind after the last of her and Miss Belladonna's detention sessions.
"Thank you for staying Miss Carfax; this should only take a half an hour or so," Glynda explained as she drew a stylus with which to jot down notes on her scroll.
"But of course," Mina replied obligingly, her little smile somewhere between sardonic and melancholy constant on her face, "Although… I cannot help but wonder what it is that you wanted me for, professor? I was under the impression that I was doing well in my classes…"
"And you are – Ethics aside, anyway," the Professor agreed, "but that isn't what this is about,"
"Ah good," Mina's smile broadened just slightly, "Ethics is such a… subjective area of study anyway…"
Glynda sighed, keying up the notepad program on her scroll, letting Mina's remark slide for now, "No, Miss Carfax, I didn't ask you here about your grades, but I do have a few questions that I'd like to ask you. Given your… background… you don't exactly have transcripts for our records; in place of that, I would like to conduct a brief interview so as to compose a working profile of you as a substitute,"
"Ah…" Mina nodded her acknowledgment, "Very well then; ask away,"
Glynda nodded her approval, "Good; let's start with your full legal name then?"
Mina raised an eyebrow, the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at her lips now. "Well I would not know about legality, but I have always gone by Wilhelmina Carfax,"
Glynda's eyebrow twitched; Mina was ever the troublemaker, it would seem, "Middle name?"
Mina shrugged, "I do not have one, to the best of my knowledge,"
Subject Wilhelmina Carfax is a black-haired Caucasian female with blue eyes…
"Very well then, moving on..." Glynda took down the appropriate notes, "Height?"
"I am told that I am about five-seven, but you would know better than I…"
"Hmmm…" Glynda took it down nonetheless, "You'll have to report to the infirmary to have that confirmed for our records, as well as…"
"My other measurements?" Mina suggested with a wry smile.
"Yes…" Glynda cleared her throat, "But I suppose that I don't need that here now…"
"Well, If you really want to know, my waist, bust, and hips are-,"
"No, that's quite alright, thank you; you can save that for the staff nurse," Glynda shook her head, "Though I suppose I appreciate your cooperation…"
Subject is sarcastic, cocky, and prone to cracking lewd jokes…
Mina chuckled as Glynda did her best to keep a straight face while she took her notes, "Oh well…"
Goodwitch sighed, "Next I'll need a statement of any and all persistent health considerations… including your, um…"
"My particular needs? Yes…" Mina paused for thought, stroking her chin for effect, "Hmmm… chronic anemia… slightly lower than average blood pressure… vampirism in the amount of roughly one unit of blood per day – O-negative is my favorite by the way, Blake's in particular, but as for my own blood type, I am AB- positive… Ah, and lest we forget, blindness…"
Glynda nodded, diligently taking down the relevant information, although she omitted Mina's cited preferences, "Now, if you don't mind – and I am aware that you may never have consulted a professional on this matter – but to your knowledge, do you suffer from any… mental conditions?" Glynda didn't much enjoy having to ask that particular question; she was a huntress, not a psychiatrist after all in the first place, and in the second, given certain previous occurrences, the answer was fairly self-evident…
"Well…" there was another pause, although Mina did little to hide her amusement this time, "I've been told that I qualify as a high-functioning sociopath – incidentally, I don't suppose you think that might be why I struggle in Ethics? – anyway… I certainly have no debilitating psychosis…"
Subject seems to take the state of her mental health disconcertingly lightly, either having forgotten or failing to attach the necessary significance to her own attempted suicide some six months ago…
"Age?"
"Really professor?" Mina did her best to look aghast, "I was given to understand that it is incredibly rude to ask a lady her age…"
Glynda tapped her stylus on her scroll impatiently, "Miss Carfax, this information is confidential, so I would prefer that you took this seriously,"
"Yes ma'am," Mina obeyed, mellowing somewhat, "In that case, I am seventeen years, eleven months, and eight days old…."
Glynda raised an eyebrow, Subject is acutely aware of her age, to a rather precise degree, possibly indicative of an age-related social anxiety, but more likely related to her egocentrism…
Mina continued despite Glynda's note-taking, "I would give you the hours and minutes, but I am not quite sure…"
"You seem very aware of your age…" Glynda remarked in passing as she noted 'nearly eighteen' on her scroll.
"Of course; my birthday is coming up, after all," and my birthday has always been a very accommodating occasion…" Glynda tried to ignore the sultry tone that crept into her student's voice, reminding herself that it wasn't her business as long as it stayed out of the classroom as Mina continued, "Although that reminds me; Blake's birthday is just under two weeks away…"
"That may be, Miss Carfax," Glynda refocused the subject, "But we are here to talk about you, not Miss Belladonna,"
Mina pouted, leaning back in her chair, "Oh fine…"
Glynda shook her head, muttering to herself before she asked the next question, "How would you describe your relationships with each of your teammates? Let's start with Ruby Rose…"
"Hmmm…" Mina rested on ankle on her opposite knee as she thought it over; "I would compare her to a little sister; great fun to tease, shy, and positively adorable…"
Glynda raised an eyebrow, "But you do respect her as your team leader, yes?"
"She is certainly capable on the battlefield, if not confident in her social life," Mina agreed.
"And what of her sister, Miss Xiao Long?"
"Ah…" Mina smile meaningfully, "She is great fun… occasionally a touch grabby, but I do consider her a friend…"
"Grabby?" Glynda raised an eyebrow.
"Well you see, just a few days ago on a spa trip, for example-,"
"No, no, details won't be necessary; I shouldn't have asked," Glynda shook her head, Subject is utterly shameless… She heaved a sigh, "And what about Miss Schnee?"
"Best friend," Mina answered confidently.
Glynda shot her a dubious look, "Really? I would think, given your history…"
Mina just shrugged, "I suppose that you could say my heart was never with the cause,"
"I see…" Glynda noted a self-professed lack of interest in her previous… career before asking, "And I suppose that brings us to Miss Belladonna then…"
"So it does…"
"And the nature of your relationship with her?" Glynda braced herself for more of Mina's lewd humor, knowing exactly the nature of the pair's relationship – it had landed the pair of them in her office in the first place – but it was important to get Mina's exact perspective on the subject for her profile.
Mina smiled, just barely showing one of her fangs, "Lover~"
"Right then, girlfriend-," Glynda thought aloud as she went to jot the confirmation of her impression down, only to be interrupted by her subject.
"No, Professor, lover is much more accurate; 'girlfriend' seems cheaper somehow… and it doesn't quite measure up to our level of intimacy…"
Not wanting any explicit details in the name of explanation, a red-faced Glynda Goodwitch caved, "Fine then… Lover…"
"Much obliged~" Mina said in a singsong voice.
After taking a moment to compose herself and sure up her professionalism – however fascinated she might be with her subject, it was hardly professional to pry into a seventeen year old young woman's sex life – before she moved on to the next question., adjusting her glasses as she spoke, "What is your goal in attending Beacon Academy?"
"To spend four years sharing a room with my Dearest," Mina answered without so much as an instant's pause for thought.
Subject is nothing if not single minded, Glynda wrote down as she commented, "You know Miss Carfax, even if they're lying, most people would claim that they wanted to help or protect people as their reason for coming here…"
"Good for them," Mina replied nonchalantly, "As for me though, I am much more in it for the wonderfully steamy showers after the missions…"
Try not to read too much into that Glynda… The professor tried to restrain her imagination, not wanting to think about the disciplinary infractions involved in students having sex in the showers after missions, "And thus far, how does your Beacon experience compare to your expectations?" surely that is a safe question…
"I am slightly disappointed by the lack of… private spaces…" Mina answered with a smirk.
Glynda's right eyelid twitched, "The idea is to encourage team cooperation," and thank God she hasn't found the quiet study rooms in the library…
Mina shrugged again, "So I have noticed, but we make do…"
Goodwitch set her scroll down and massaged her temple with her free hand; she could feel a headache coming on, "Do I want to know about your hobbies?"
Mina chuckled, "I like to cuddle…"
Subject has no constructive hobbies…
"Oh, and Blake reads to me fairly often – I especially enjoy her romance novels – oh… but she does not much like it when I talk about those… so if you would kindly keep that to yourself, I would be appreciative…" \
"My lips are sealed…" Glynda answered dryly – she didn't like to think about precisely how much smut she'd had to confiscate because students had been brazenly reading it in class over the years, almost all of them claiming that the trashy books were romance novels… "Do you have any suggestions or preferences as regards our teaching staff?"
"Suggestions, certainly," Mina nodded, "Professor Port could do with a diet – charming man, but I can hear his stomach wobbling as he speaks… it is actually very distracting… But as for preferences…" Mina cracked another devious smile, "I am afraid not; I don't have a teacher fetish…"
Glynda was speechless.
"But…" Mina continued, grin broadening, "I can certainly introduce you to a few… interesting… gentlemen who do if you're looking-,"
"Miss Carfax…" Glynda's grip rather severely tightened on her stylus as she spoke through clenched teeth, "I'll thank you to remain on subject please; I don't need or want to hear about the unwashed letches you wait tables for at that maid café of yours! Honestly, I don't understand why the Headmaster agreed to allow one of our students to work at such an unsavory establishment!"
"Hmmm… Perhaps the clientele is a touch prone to mouth-breathing… But I assure you that the food is wonderful; you should really try it sometime-,"
"Not on your life, Miss Carfax,"
"Ah well… you've no idea what you are missing…"
"Poor me…" Glynda muttered, "At any rate, this hardly has anything to do with the matter at hand," Glynda picked up her scroll again, mustering her professional air once more, "Thus far, has your experience at Beacon Academy motivated you to change in any way?"
"Oh absolutely," Mina replied earnestly, tugging on the hem of her pleated uniform skirt, "For one thing, I've decided to wear skirts more often,"
"Come again?" Goodwitch looked up, dumbfounded.
"I never realized how comfortable skirts could be until I came here; you see, I never had one in the White Fang; 'not combat practical' was the line some grump would always say about them, but I disagree – I have plenty of freedom to move in this!"
"Perhaps…" Glynda tapped her stylus thoughtfully on her scroll, "but considering how much you roll and jump in combat, I would consider something slightly longer- wait, what am I saying? This isn't relevant!"
"Indeed not," Mina agreed, "In the first place, I wasn't referring to combat at all…"
Glynda facepalmed, Subject is… Oh the hell with this… Just finish with the questions…
"For instance, with a skirt, it is much easier to-,"
"Miss Carfax, you will kindly answer the questions asked, and no others for the remainder of this interview, is that clear?" Glynda cut her off, "Frankly, I am not interested in whatever lewd reasoning you may have placed behind your decision to wear skirts more often. At the moment, I only want to know the following-," Glynda glanced down at the list of her questions, reading the next one aloud, seething with frustration, "How would you describe your Beacon experience thus far?"
"It has been most gratifying and informative," Mina said in a more mellow voice, clearly not enjoying having been interrupted amidst her little fantasy.
"Good," Glynda recorded the answer sternly, "Now, what is your opinion of your team's capacity for cooperation?"
"Excellent," Mina replied unenthusiastically; apparently Glynda's stern insistence upon not deviating from the subject had sucked all the fun out of the experience, but that was fine; Miss Carfax plainly had enough fun as it was.
"And your overall team dynamic?"
"We are all on good terms, if that is what you mean," Mina nodded, staring off into space now, chin resting on a palm and her elbow on her chair's armrest.
"Do you have a particular area in which you would like to specialize after you graduate, such as field work, security, teaching-," God help us, "or the like?"
"Nothing in particular; whatever Blake does…"
Note to self: dissuade Miss Belladonna from teaching at all costs… "Very well… aside from being a huntress, do you have any other long-term goals in mind?"
"Marry Blake Belladonna," Mina instantly perked up.
"Yes, I'd say that's fairly self-evident," Goodwitch stated dryly, "Anything else?"
"Move into our own home together," Mina added in response to the prompt, "We won't need many rooms – although a bathtub fit for two would be nice…"
"Anything else?" Glynda pressed, fishing for something, anything that would be more relevant to Mina's Beacon record.
"Well…" Mina seemed to get a little nervous, twiddling her thumbs and even shrinking back a little in her chair, "Maybe after we get married and settle in… I'd… that is, if she wants to… I'd like to maybe have her children…"
What. Glynda took off her glasses and stared at the young Faunus in disbelief, scrutinizing her carefully, as Miss Carfax now – for the first time – appeared to be embarrassed of what she was saying, "I beg your pardon?"
"I want five" Mina added in a small voice, "If that is okay with Blake…"
Glynda continued to stare incredulously, "Miss Carfax, I'm not sure what Miss Belladonna wants is entirely… relevant…"
Mina gaped, horrified, "Miss Goodwitch! I could never-,"
"That isn't what I meant, Miss Carfax…" Glynda interrupted, seeing where Mina had been going with her line of thought, "But really Mina, surely you know better; what would give you the ridiculous idea of having Blake Belladonna's children?"
"But…" Mina blinked a few times uncertainly, "In Blake's books… when people love each other they get married and…"
Glynda wasn't sure that she could believe what she was hearing, "Miss Carfax… Surely you realize that it takes a man and a woman to have a child…"
"…" Mina looked crushed, "It… it does?"
The professor couldn't decide whether to be frustrated or to pity the girl – as it was she looked almost on the verge of tears … While subject's skills as a Huntress speak for themselves, there are clearly certain… gaps… in Miss Carfax's primary education… She put the stylus away, Thank God that was the last question…
Mina sniffled, tears starting to well up, "Does… does this mean I can't marry Blake…?"
"N-no!" Goodwitch shook her head, inexplicably reluctant to see the girl cry, "That has nothing to do with it, really Miss Carfax; you can always adopt…" Wait a minute… This is ridiculous! She took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts, "That… that will be all for now Miss Carfax; you are free to return to your dorm…"
"Mmhmm…" Mina half-nodded, half-whimpered as she got up from her seat and shuffled to the door with uncharacteristic lethargy, "I was…" she sniffed again, "happy to help…"
As the door shut behind Mina, Goodwitch slumped back in her chair with a sigh. As irritating as Miss Carfax could be, Glynda couldn't shake the guilty feeling that she'd somehow crushed the girl's dreams… rather like she'd kicked a puppy actually…
Glynda shook her head and massaged her temples, "I need a drink…"