"So she just hung up?" Riven asked me while I was laying on his bed.
"Yeah. You know,I though she sent me here so I can change. But she sent me here to get rid of me." I added and I got up to the wall. I started punching it like crazy.
"Calm down,bro!" Riven yelled and pulled my hand away from the wall. It was all bloody.
"Man. If Ethan only gave you some drugs to calm down." he sad and we both sat down. Him on the bed, me on the floor.
"Does your shrink give you any meds?"
"You mean when I miss alcohol and get my temper on?" I nodded.
"No. Genet thinks I should solve this in a natural way."
"Genet?"
"That's my shrink dude."
"Oh, yeah." I said as I looked at my bloody hand.
"So you don't get meds but you cant calm down..." he said looking at the distance.
"That would be me." I said and he looked at me.
"I'm not trying to get you cancer, but... Maybe this will help you calm down?" he said and offered me a cigar. I never smoked before. But I also never controled my self before.
"Does it really help you calm down?" I asked and he nodded.
"While I was looking at my bloody hands, just like you are now, but mine were from a bar fight, an old men who was passing by offered me one. I took it and tried it, and for those 5 minutes the cigar lasted, I had no worries." he said and I took one from the pack. I lightened it up and I took my first smoke in. I... I felt no pain anymore. After a few hours, when It was already dark, I went back to Ethan.
"I wanna talk to you." I said and he nodded.
"I need to talk to you too. " he said and I sat down.
"Before you say anything, all I wanted was to ask you, do you think smoking could calm me down?"
"Riven, huh?" he asked me. I was shocked.
"You know?"
"We all do. He may think he's a big shot for being able to smoke here and stealing cigars from us, but we let him. We prepare the scenario for him and he takes them."
"But... why?"
"Because he is here the longest from all of the teenagers. It will soon be a year. And even tho he doesn't get to drink that often, every time he does, he goes crazy on the drinks. And after a few days of not having alcohol, he just goes crazy. Cigars were the only thing we though was okay for him to have."
"But why not just give them the cigars?"
"Because people cant know we let you guys smoke in here."
"And why not give him some drugs or something?"
"We try not to give any of our patients too much. At all, If possible."
"Why?"
"I guess you didn't meet her. Well, a girl in here was a drug addict and... every time we game any kind of meds or as you call it drugs to others she would somehow get them and we would be at the begging with her,all over again."
"Okay, I get it... so the question was do you think I should smoke?"
"Well,If I say no, will you listen to me?"
"Not really.."
"There you go. Also, don't tell anyone what I just told you. I believe you,okay?" I nodded.
"Now what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Helia, I talked to your mum." he said and I looked to my shoes.
"I called her to ask why did she hang up. She said that she just wasn't expecting you to answer. She asked how are you doing and when will you be okay enough to go back home."
"...Is that it?" I asked trying to stay cold blooded.
"Yeah." he said and I got out of his office. I got to my room and I stayed quiet and awake the full night. I couldn't believe my life. So, I was in a Mental Illness Hospital, none other then MPS, and my mother has given up on me. Just great.
In the morning, I got back to our room and we started another group meaning. It was 10:06am and ofcourse, I missed breakfast.
"Hello everyone my name is Musa and I have a sleepwalking disorder." I didn't even listen. I was too busy with my own thoughts.
"Hello Musa." they all said while I was looking down,feeling motionless.
"It all started when... Okay listen." she said and stopped the silence made me look up. I saw her furiously looking at me.
"I'm talking about this again because of you. So you should at least try to pretend you're listening,If you cant bother actually doing it, spoiled little brat." she said and I got pissed. Again. She didn't know me. She didn't know my problems. And she though It was okay to call me names. Instead of punching her,I stood up, walked out in to the hallway and got to Ethans office. All in silence. All with a calm face. As always, I sat on the chair in front of him. This was the first time we were both calm.
"You're ether late or early... You look different. Did you change your shirt after a week of being here?" he asked and I had no response to give him. I felt like If I tried saying just one word or moving at all, I would lose it.
"I guess we are going to play the silent game." he said and pushed his back to the chair. We didn't move or say anything for one whole hour. I felt like I focused more on how annoying that was then on how angry I should be.
"You are the first patient of mine that has ever finished the full hour." he said and I nodded. I neck felt like someone was holding it and every move hurt.
"Can I go now?" I asked,still looking as calm as I could.
"Yes. Just, before you go,I want to ask you something."
"What." I asked in a plain tone.
"Why did you get here so early? It's not even 10:30am."
"I just just got annoyed. That's it."
"You got here lone, no guards called me... What is happening to you?" he said and grinned. I had no energy to talk to anyone so I just left. I locked my self In the guys bathroom took a long shower.