Palutena was humming to herself as she put on her purple dress. Pit, who was sitting on his bed, commented, "You're sure in a good mood, Lady Palutena."

"I have a date tonight with that handsome Link fellow," she replied.

"Wow! You have a date with a classic Nintendo character? I wish I could have that luck. I'd love to go on a date with Princess Peach or Samus. Or maybe Rosalina…"

"I'm sure you'll get the chance someday, Pit." She proceeded to put on a nice bit of make-up and some perfume. As she was heading out the door, she asked, "Do you have anyone you're seeing tonight?"

"No," the angel said, "I was just planning on playing a bit of NES, maybe some Super Nintendo if I feel like it."

"Have fun, then," she said. She shut the door.

Pit turned on his NES and picked up the controller. The game he had in the console was his game of origin, Kid Icarus. "Well," he said, "looks like I'm playing with myself tonight."

Link was waiting by the front door for his date. He had put on a dark green tuxedo to replace his tunic, and brushed his hair instead of covering it with his trademark cap. Despite being such a fearless hero in Hyrule, he was more than a bit nervous about dating a goddess like Palutena. Link's fairy, Navi, told Link, "Hey! Listen! You'll do just fine. Don't be so nervous." Link nodded.

Palutena walked down the stairs. "Ready to go, handsome?" Link opened the door for his date. The two walked down the street to the famous Ristorante Pianura. They were sat down in the middle of the restaurant and handed menus. "So how are you, Link?"

Navi responded, "Link's fine. He's a bit nervous for his upcoming role in the next Legend of Zelda game."

"You're so lucky to have such a long-running, beloved series. The series Pit and I come from only has 3 entries, and the third game is the most well-known." The waiter walked by. "Two glasses of Succo D'uva, please."

As their discussion continued, a great evil walked into the restaurant. "Well, well…looks like I can kill two birds with one stone tonight," he chuckled. He walked towards their table. "Hello, puny goddess."

Palutena looked up. "Ganondorf!" she angrily said.

"That's my name," he said, "Don't wear it out. I see you got the Hero of Hyrule as your date. How fitting; you two are pathetic fighters for good and virtue."

"Hey!" Navi said, "At least we're not copying Captain Falcon's moves when we fight."

Ganondorf grabbed the fairy with his thumb and index finger. "What are you saying, you tiny blue bug?"

Palutena stood up. "Knock it off!" she said to Ganondorf, "We're not doing anything to bother you! We just wanted to have a nice dinner together, and you're ruining it!"

"Don't talk to me about plans being ruined," he replied, "My plans of taking over Hyrule have always been ruined by this blonde pretty boy. All my hard work is for naught…" He looked at Link. "…because you just have to step in and kill me."

"Are you seriously comparing your desire to be a dictator to us wanting to have a pleasant evening?" Palutena remarked. That was the final straw for Ganondorf. He charged up his Warlock Punch and turned around towards Palutena. Scared, she warped backwards. He missed her, but barely. He turned his attention back to Link. The Gerudo picked up the hero by the neck.

"I could crush you and your bug easily…Give me a good reason to do so."

Palutena considered what to do. "By myself," she thought, "Ganondorf is still pretty tough. But I know how to defeat him…" She held out her right hand. From the Smash Mansion, her staff turned into light particles and flew toward her palm, reforming themselves. She hit him with the staff, causing him to drop Link and let go of Navi. He looked back at the goddess, and kicked her in the stomach, knocking her down.

Link crawled under the table, wishing he'd brought his weapons with him. He saw his date lying on the floor in pain, her staff lying next to her. Ganondorf walked over to where she fell. "You gods make me sick. You keep all the power to yourselves, and choose only goodie two-shoes to reward." He put his foot on her head. She winced and tried reaching for her staff. "A Warlock Kick should take care of you for good." He lifted his foot up. With his foot no longer confining her, she was able to grab her staff. She hit him with it and knocked him down. She crawled under the table with Link.

"Do you have any weapons with you?" she asked. He shook his head. "Okay. Next time he attacks, we split up so he can only go after one of us. Got it?" Link nodded. Ganondorf ran over, so they split up. He lifted the table up and threw it. He ran after Palutena, seeing her as the bigger threat at the moment. He rammed his elbow into her back, knocking her down.

Ganondorf grabbed Palutena by the throat, much like he did with Link, and lifted her up. "Prepare for the Flame Choke, goddess," he growled. He squeezed her neck and she braced for the worst. However, her divine neck brace (which is permanently part of the neck of any purebred goddess) kept Ganondorf from being able to execute the move. "This usually works..."

"Well, performance issues, it's not uncommon. It's probably because of…"

"Shut up!" he yelled, "Even if I can't choke a bitch, you won't be able to get free."

"Are you certain about that?" The goddess became strangely confident.

"Of course! Your precious hero has absolutely no weapons to defeat me!"

"I wouldn't say that..." Ganondorf had failed to notice that Palutena had been creating a Palutena Bow while they were talking. She threw it over to Link.

Link caught the Palutena Bow and aimed it right at Ganondorf's head. The arrow hit him square on, causing him to drop Palutena. Getting hit by a light arrow in the back of the head did not make Ganondorf happy. He angrily charged at his mortal enemy. "I'm gonna kill you!" he yelled. Palutena ran after Ganondorf to stop him. Link continued to fire light arrows at Ganondorf.

As they were getting closer, the waiter walked over. "Miss," he said, "This probably isn't an ideal time, but here is your Succo D'uva." He gave her the bottle of wine she and Link had ordered.

"Gee, thanks…" the goddess replied, taking the wine bottle. She then got an idea involving it. "Hey, Ganon-dork!" she yelled. Ganondorf turned around. The one thing that he hated more than Link was that uncreative insult. He stormed over to her, preparing a Warlock Punch. Once he was in range, she smashed the bottle over his head. The impact knocked him out. The fight was over.

"You did it, Pally!" Navi cheered, "You defeated Ganondorf!"

"You think I didn't know that already?" Palutena replied, still holding the broken handle of the bottle. The waiter walked over. "Sorry about the mess. We'll pay you back."

"At least he's been stopped from causing any further damage," the waiter replied, "I've already called the cops to have him arrested. We won't charge you for the damages."

"Really? Thank you."

"In fact, I'll get you guys some complimentary breadsticks to thank you."

"How generous! We appreciate it." Palutena and Link set their table back up.

As Ganondorf was hauled off by officers, Link and Palutena clinked their cups of Succo D'uva together and sipped. The waiter came by with their appetizers. Link was so hungry that he began stuffing his face with the sticks of dough.

"Now, Link," Palutena said, "Hylians cannot live on breadsticks alone."