We headed down to the mess after the bell rang, and I washed my face from the tears. We met Sam and Callen down at the line and we got some food. I just got a bit of bread, a small slice of meatloaf and a glass of water with some pills the medic gave me.
We all sat down at a table, me and Deeks on one side, Sam and Callen on the other. They couldn't stop drinking water, probably from the desert. Deeks couldn't eat much either, he was just kind of playing with his food. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around me. I knew Sam and Callen were looking at us, but Sam just smiled and Callen winked. I smiled a sad smile at both of them.
"You sure missed a lot, Kens. Deeks was all moody, and Callen's got a lady friend." said Sam, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"You miss a lot when you're isolated from humanity and beaten." I said blankly. They both looked at each other.
"I'm just going to go back to my tent." I sighed, standing up from the table. I looked at Deeks, and he took the sign and stood up.
"We'll meet you guys at the chopper." he said, and we walked out of the mess hall, and back to my tent, where I lied down on my side on the small cot they had there. Deeks kneeled down next to me, and gently stroked my head, carefully.
"You want me to stay, Fern? Because Max doesn't want to leave his little sugar bear alone." he whispered with a smile. I smiled back, and nodded sleepily. I took his hand and held in mine as I fell asleep, and he disappeared.
If you could call it sleep, more like a restless blur of memories and hell.
"No! Let me go!" I yelled as they dragged me over to the ground near the fire. One cut my shirt along down the back, and I felt someone sit on my legs. It wasn't until I felt the burn and crack of a whip on my back. I cried out in pain, and looked at Jack, who they made watch. He looked so helpless, so angry. "Help" I yelled to him and then screamed as they whipped me again and again and again...
"Kensi!" yelled Deeks as I woke back up to the little tent. I was breathing heavily, and saw Deeks, Sam and Callen in the tent with me. I fell onto Deeks and just began sobbing. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and someone else's hand rubbing my back. I felt Deeks' warmth come through me, I just wanted to get home as soon as possible.
Once I calmed down, Deeks still held me, and I realized Sam and Callen left. "They're getting the stuff onto the chopper. We're leaving soon. You better now?"
"Fine." I whispered. I wasn't in the mood. He knew I said fine, which meant I wasn't, but I didn't care. People judge me enough already. I pulled away and went outside. I needed some Vitamin D, after being in a cave for so long.
I looked around the looming mountains. They looked beautiful from here, but the horrors that hid behind them were a different story. I never wanted to come back. Hetty would never let me. Hetty. What was going to happen to Hetty? She organized this whole operation, what if they went from me to her.
What was also going to happen to me? When they find out that I left on purpose, consequences would arise. But I could barely think straight, let alone work.
"You ready, Kens?" asked Callen. "We're going to take the chopper over to the air field."
"Yeah." I smiled as though I was okay. "I'll go get my bag." Once I grabbed it from my cot in the tent, I followed Sam and Deeks down to the chopper. But I could barely carry mine. When I dropped it, Deeks came and took it. He put his arm around my shoulder. I felt glad that he did that. Because I was more affected on the inside than what you could see on the outside.
I took a seat next to Deeks and buckled in. I rested my head on his shoulder. Every time I tried to fall asleep on the ride, I would be haunted by a memory. Deeks must've felt me do it since he looked over at me and put his arm around my shoulder. I noticed Sam and Callen watching. I honestly didn't care. I think that they just felt bad for us.
"Deeks?" I whispered.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"Just wanted to make sure you were there." I said.
"Don't worry, Fern. I'm not going anywhere." he said, kissing my head. The man who held the sword to my throat came back. I shook him off but he was coming back. My eyes were getting teary again. But before I could start crying, we landed at the airstrip.
The boys helped carry in some supplies into the cargo hold while I got myself settled. I couldn't believe it. I was going home. I was going to see my mother, Nell, Eric, everyone. It got me thinking. What if I hadn't survived? What if they never found me? I took off my seatbelt and went into the bathroom.
"Only a minute, Blye." I told myself. I cried for a tiny bit until I heard a knock at the door.
"Kens, you okay?" asked Sam.
"Good." I said. "I'll be out in a minute!" I washed my face and went back into my seat. A few hours in, Callen and Sam fell asleep while I was awake. Deeks was on the verge of sleeping.
"Kens, can you sleep?" he asked.
"No." I whispered. He put his arm around me and I loosened my seatbelt so I could get comfortable on his shoulder.
"There you go." he said. "Just wake me if you need anything."
I fell into darkness.
In my dream I was falling.
"Look who decided to come back" snapped a familiar voice.
"Look at you, all beaten. It's her fault Jack got beaten, isn't it, Sam?" The 3 voices appeared, and they were Sam, Callen and… Deeks. I was on the floor, in blood covered rags.
"Of course" boomed Sam, the teddy bear in him nowhere to be seen. "It would've been better if she were sent to Pakistan, nowhere to be found again."
"You don't mean that!" I sobbed. I reached for Deeks, but he pulled back.
"I don't want to be partners with a bitch like you" he said, pulling out his Beretta.
"Deeks, please!" I sobbed harder. "Deeks, I love you!"
"Kensi." He said. "Kensi, wake up!"
I woke up and saw him. He looked worried. So did Sam and Callen. My face was wet with tears. I hugged him tightly, and just didn't say anything.
"What don't we mean, Kens?" he asked, stroking my hair.
"You were all kicking me, and yelling at me and I tried reaching for you, b-b-ut you pulled away.
I couldn't stop trembling. Deeks looked at me. His eyes softened me.
"I thought I'd never see you again." I sighed.
"Well, you were wrong." said Deeks. "You can't get rid of me that easily."
I smiled lightly when he said that. I just dozed on and off, the nightmares waking me up every time
I'm so excited for this story and I can't wait for more amazing Densi/Afghanistan scenes. I'll do a chapter when Kensi's at home. I'm currently editing all my chapters so they'll be a little more interesting, just so you know.