Author's note: all my thanks and love to amazing betas, dandelionsunset and francatwild.

Chapter 4—the decision

Katniss spent the rest of the day contemplating Rye Mellark's offer. When she found Prim after school, Prim picked up on her mood right away. "What's wrong?", she asked.

"Nothing, exactly. I just have to make a decision, " Katniss said, looking at her little sister. "I'll tell you about it at supper, OK?" Prim accepted this. When they got home, Katniss changed into her hunting gear and headed for the woods. Gale was already there checking the snare lines. She didn't say anything to him as they hunted-talking scared away game-but after they'd trapped and shot enough for supper, Katniss told him about her lunchtime conversation with Rye.

Katniss fully expected resistance from Gale. He was not likely to be happy about the potential loss of his hunting partner, even if it was only occasionally, nor was he going to be thrilled about her hanging out with more Merchant kids. He already resented Madge, although he knew he shouldn't. Gale had even admitted to Katniss in the woods that he thought the Capitol wanted the Merchant-Seam class divide because it would keep them from uniting against the Capitol.

In Panem, any child of Reaping age could receive food assistance—a ration of grain and oil called tessera—once a month. The price for that assistance was an extra entry in the Reaping bowl. Katniss herself had signed up for her first tessera on her 12th birthday. Since then, she'd gone back an additional 11 times. If she didn't go back between now and the next Reaping, she'd have 17 entries in that bowl—five for every year she'd been eligible for the Reaping plus twelve extras that she'd exchanged for tesserae over the years. Gale was 18 and this was his last year of eligibility for the Hunger Games. He had two younger brothers and a younger sister, so he had more mouths to feed. She wasn't sure how many entries he would have in the Reaping Bowl this year but she knew it was a lot more than her.

Merchant kids rarely went hungry, while Seam kids frequently did. Some even died of starvation every winter. That meant that Seam kids were much more likely to take out tesserae than Merchant kids. As a result, far more kids from the Seam were sent to the Hunger Games from District 12 than kids from town. Gale knew it wasn't the fault of any kid that District 12 was like that, but he resented it anyway.

So Katniss was not surprised that Gale was against her singing with Rye's band. What did surprise her was his reason why.

"He's just trying to get into your pants, Katniss! They all are!" he said, furiously. Katniss was so shocked at his outburst that she stopped walking and stared at him with her jaw dropped. Here she'd been preparing herself for a political argument and Gale had suddenly made this extremely personal. Her shock was quickly replaced by anger, though.

"Excuse me? 'Get into my pants'? You really think that?"

"I really think they'll try. I'm sure they'd all love to take advantage of some poor girl from the Seam."

"And you think I'd actually let them?", she hissed. Katniss almost felt like crying, although whether it was from anger or sadness, she wasn't sure. She couldn't believe that Gale, of all people, was making this accusation.

Gale seemed to realize that maybe he'd said the wrong thing. "No, Catnip, I know you wouldn't. I shouldn't have said that."

"You certainly thought it. It was the first thing out of your mouth! What is wrong with you, Gale?"

"Oh, come on, Katniss. Don't be naive. Why else would some Merchant kids be interested in you? You really think it makes sense that some townie kids just all of a sudden think you can sing? I didn't even know that and I'm your best friend." Gale sounded a little hurt.

She raised an eyebrow at his tone. "Madge is a Merchant kid. You think she's trying to get into my pants, too? And for the record, Gale, I can actually sing. I just don't have reason to very often."

Katniss started walking back towards the fence. Gale caught up with her after a moment. Finally, Katniss broke the silence and she couldn't keep the anger from her voice. "Rye treated me like he would anybody else. Madge is going to ask her father if we can rehearse at the Mayor's house just so people will be less inclined to talk. And Peeta defended my honor when I said Merchant people would call me names." She glanced at Gale, who was looking mulish. "You know, I told Rye I was worried that Merchant folk would jump to the wrong conclusion. Instead, it's my best friend from the Seam doing it."

Gale's expression softened at this but he didn't say anything.

Katniss continued, "If this worked, I'd make more money just at the Spring Festival than I can trade for at the Hob in a month. And playing one toasting gig would be enough to buy a week's worth of food for Mom, Prim and myself. You know what that means for me. And for Prim. Not to mention, I can't get arrested for singing."

Gale knew what Katniss was really saying. The more money that Katniss could earn, the less likely it was that she would need to take out more tesserae. And Prim had just turned 12. This was her first year of eligibility for the Games. Katniss was determined that Prim would never, ever have to take out tesserae.

Gale didn't argue with Katniss after that but the scowl on his face made it clear he still didn't like it. They spent the rest of their walk in silence and went their separate ways when they got to the fence.

At supper that night, Katniss told her mother and Prim everything, including Rye's reasons for wanting this to succeed. The only details she left out were that the Mellark boys were frequent customers of Rosemary's parents because of Mrs. Mellark's abuse; and that Peeta received more injuries at his mother's hands than anyone else. She didn't think Prim needed to hear that.

"I think you should do it, Katniss. You have a beautiful voice. Everybody should get to hear it, " Prim gushed. Mrs. Everdeen was quiet for a minute, then told Prim to wash up and get ready for bed because she needed to talk to Katniss privately. Prim kissed them both goodnight and left them at the table.

Mrs. Everdeen looked at her daughter and asked, "Do you want to do this, Katniss? We can talk all night about why you should or shouldn't but really, it just comes down to whether you want to do it or not."

Katniss shrugged. "I don't honestly know. Until today, it's something I've never even thought of doing. And Mom?" Katniss gave a sigh. "Gale said they are all just trying to 'get into my pants.'"

Mrs. Everdeen rolled her eyes and to Katniss' surprise, genuinely laughed. "Sweetie, Gale said that out of jealousy. He's not used to sharing you with anybody except Prim and Madge. He sees those boys as competition."

"Competition for what?" Katniss asked, confused.

"For your affections, obviously." Mrs. Everdeen smiled softly at her daughter.

Katniss shook her head. "No, that can't be right. There's never been anything romantic between us, Mom. Gale didn't even like me the first couple of years we knew each other. He's my best friend but that's all." Even as Katniss said it, though, she wondered if friendship was really the best word for what she had with Gale. Over the last several months, they had become closer, confiding in each other more and more. The woods, which already sustained them as they hunted and gathered, had become a sanctuary of sorts. They could be themselves with each other when they were out there.

But Gale had never indicated he was interested in her as a girlfriend. And Katniss knew she was never going to fall in love, anyway. Love was dangerous. She saw what it did to her mother when her father died. She already knew she would never get married and never have kids, not when they could be taken away in the Reaping. And Gale knew she felt that way, so it didn't make any sense at all that he would see her as a potential girlfriend.

"Hmm. I wonder if that's all he thinks he is to you, " mused Mrs. Everdeen, interrupting Katniss' train of thought. "You're not a little girl anymore, Katniss. You're nearly 16. You're becoming a beautiful young woman and Gale is one of the only boys in this District who doesn't find you a little intimidating."

"Who finds me intimidating?" Katniss wondered.

"Anybody who's seen what you bring back from those woods," Mrs. Everdeen said with conviction. "I think on some level, Gale simply assumes the two of you will eventually wind up together. You still haven't answered my question, though, Katniss. Do you want to do this?"

Katniss struggled with her thoughts for a moment. When she was little, she had sung with her father all the time. He had taught her most of the songs he knew. She had loved to sing. But after he had died in that coal mine, she had quit. It just made her miss him even more. So she didn't do it very often, only when Prim was very sick. Well, at least she didn't do it very often on purpose. According to Madge, she hummed when they did homework, which was a little embarrassing. "Singing reminds me of Daddy", she confided.

Mrs. Everdeen placed her hands on top of Katniss' and said, "You remind me of him so much. If he were still here, would you want to do this?"

"If he were here, I wouldn't have to do this," Katniss snapped, a little too harshly. She saw the hurt look on her mother's face and regretted her outburst immediately.

Mrs. Everdeen pulled her hand back and said, not unkindly, "You don't have to do this now, Katniss. That's why I've been asking you if this is what you want to do. I know what you've had to do for these last few years, and I know it was my fault." Katniss didn't argue. She still hadn't really forgiven her mother for allowing them to nearly starve. "But you make this decision for you, not for me or Prim. So I'll ask you again-if your father were still here, would you do this?"

Katniss knew what her mother was really asking. If Mr. Everdeen were still here to support them and Katniss didn't have to spend all of her spare time trying to put food on the table, would she do this just because she wanted to? Their house had been full of music when her father was alive. He always beamed at her when she sang. She knew what his answer would be if he were here.

And then there was Peeta. She owed him for the bread, for saving her life. Katniss hated owing people. She thought of the baker boy working in the mines, his brightness covered in coal dust. Coal miners in District 12 didn't have a very long life expectancy. The coal mine explosion that took her father's life took the life of Gale's father, too. Neither man had lived to see the age of 40. Joining forces with Rye might not save Peeta's life directly, but it could give him a shot at the life he deserved. It would also pay her debt to him.

"Yes," she told her mother, quietly. " I think I will do this."

Mrs. Everdeen smiled. "Then you do it. But you will need somebody at to walk you home at night, Katniss, if it's after dark."

Katniss frowned at this. Person-on-person crime was rare in District 12 and the Peacekeepers were really only there to prevent crimes against the Capitol. "Mom, you just said people find me intimidating. Why on earth would I need to be walked home after dark?"

"Because," said Mrs. Everdeen, sounding much firmer than Katniss was used to hearing, "it's only proper, Katniss. It doesn't look right for a young woman to be by herself that late at night. Besides, you know you can't carry a weapon inside the fence." Katniss' heart sank a little at this because the only person she could really ask to escort her home every night was Gale. She doubted he'd be willing.

They started to get up from the table but Katniss stopped her mother and said, "Mom? Can I tell you something else?" She told her mother what Rye had said about Peeta-that Mrs. Mellark singled him out for her wrath, that he was abused more than his brothers. And that the abuse frequently sent them to Mrs. Everdeen's parents at the apothecary.

Mrs. Everdeen shook her head and pulled Katniss into an unexpected hug. "Katniss, Marigold Mellark is…"

"A complete witch?" Katniss finished for her. She decided to return her mother's hug. Whatever her faults, her mother had never laid a hand on either of her girls.

Mrs. Everdeen sighed, "Everybody knows it's bad for those boys, but I'm sorry to hear it's worse for Peeta. He looks the most like his father, which is probably another reason she takes out more on him than on his brothers."

Katniss couldn't see why that should make any difference but didn't say so. Her mother said, "Farl-Peeta's father-he should have put a stop to her behavior years ago. He's a kind man and very giving but…not very courageous."

Peeta is, thought Katniss. At the age of 11, Peeta had been willing to sacrifice his own physical safety for a girl he had never spoken to. Yet his own father wasn't even willing to intervene as his wife beat the hell out of his sons.

"Rye Mellark doesn't much like your parents. He called them assholes," she said to her mother. Katniss expected her mother to scold her about her language.

Instead, Rosemary raised an eyebrow, her eyes full of amusement. "Yes, well, Rye sounds like a smart boy." For just a moment, Rosemary sounded so much like her old self that Katniss let out a laugh. She'd kept her mother at arm's length for years, now. Maybe it all right to let herself be mothered again, just a little bit, every now and then.

Katniss said good night to her mother and got ready for bed. Prim was waiting up for her. "Are you going to do it?" Prim asked. Katniss nodded. Prim's radiant smile went a long way towards quieting Katniss' doubts. "You'll be wonderful, Katniss. Just you wait. Everybody is going to want to hear you sing."

Katniss thought about the horrible things Mrs. Mellark said about people from the Seam. Not everybody, she smiled to herself.