Note: This is kind of a follow-up to Nightmare, even though I said in that one that it was more like an AU of the AU. I'm gonna have to rework some things later.

Warning, I guess? This was also heavily inspired by this tumblr post. Beware angst and what-if Xehanort vessel spoilers if you haven't played 3D. Really, I love her art. That piece gave me feels in the best way.

Warning: Mild Language

Ages: Kai - 19; Ronan - 16; Eli - 18; 'Jem - 14; Soren - 18

"If you stare at Eli any harder, I think he'll feel it."

Ronan dropped down to sit on the grass next to his brother, watching Kai glare at the brunette. Eli was several feet away, cheerfully helping 'Jem braid her hair. When he didn't answer, Ronan gave him a nudge in the shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Huh?"

Kai's attention finally shifted, amethyst eyes blinking in confusion. It was obvious he hadn't heard a word Ronan had said.

"The glaring. At Eli? What'd he do now?"

"...Nothing. Everything's fine."

"Kai..."

The older boy shook his head, turning back to watch as 'Jem admired Eli's handiwork.

"It's not jealousy, you know."

Ronan scooted closer, leaning against him. "Then what is it?"

His brother was silent for a heartbeat, then:

"You ever think how weird it'd be if I'd gotten black hair like you instead of my mom's silver? Or if you'd gotten your mother's hair..."

He trailed off, a faint smile crossing his face as Eli suddenly scrambled to his feet and began scouring the grass looking for flowers.

"Look how happy he is, doing 'Jem's bidding. He's like that with everybody, practically always smiling and draping himself on other people, and doing stupid shit like throwing himself in harm's way to help a friend. Can you imagine him any other way?"

This was leading somewhere important, Ronan knew, even if Kai felt the need to take the long way around.

"No...not really. Eli's Eli."

"Exactly. Eli's himself, he's a dork with ambitions bigger than he is, that couldn't be evil if he tried. But still..."

As he felt Kai tense, Ronan eased himself away, giving his brother some space. He was tempted to hug him, but knew it wouldn't be wanted. Not right now.

"Hey Ro, did he tell you about the time he asked me to teach him how to wield Darkness?"

Ronan's mouth dropped open, and whatever he'd been about to say was replaced with a squeak before his mouth snapped shut. Kai laughed humorlessly, glancing over at him.

"I know, right?"

"Wh- why would he want to? This isn't any fun!"

"Because he's an idiot that tries too hard to do everything himself, and he thinks knowing it'll help somehow."

"...He sounds like you."

Kai rolled his eyes. "I do not try and do everything myself."

"You do!" Ronan waved a hand in Kai's face and began counting off on his fingers. "One, you're trying to be a big brother; Two, you're also trying to be a dad to me; Three, you're looking after 'Jem, me, Eli, and Soren, no matter how much you deny counting him; and four, you've been sneaking past the barrier to fight Heartless back home! Don't think I don't know about that!"

He frowned, dropping his hand as he continued. "You really do take on too much, Kai. We love you for it, but you need to take a break now and then. Things won't fall apart if you do."

Kai was silent for a few moments, pulling his knees up to rest his head on as he wrapped his arms around his legs.

"Well, I learned from the best. ...Ro...do you think they'd be proud of me?"

Ronan smiled, scooting close again.

"From what you've told me about them...yeah, I think they'd be proud. You've done your best."

Kai sighed, leaning against him. "I miss them. I want to go home. But I guess Radiant Garden's going to have to work for now."

He lifted his head and scrubbed one-handed at his eyes before getting to his feet. Ronan followed, dusting off his jeans.

"Hey Kai? Why'd you tell Eli no?"

Kai's smile was bitter.

"I had a nightmare, that's all."