Mina turned the knob and opened the door to Team RWBY's dorm with a singular hope in mind. She was to be disappointed. After hours of dictating answers to and debating philosophies with Professor Russo with regard to her latest quiz in the man's ethics class, Mina had returned to the dorm holding out a particular hope that she might find Blake when she got there, but her Dearest was nowhere to be found. She sighed; indeed, the room was empty – save one. Off to the left, Weiss sat at her desk, writing her thoughts into her diary.
Mina recognized the little book by its shape more than anything else. Too short and too thick to be a notebook, and too small generally to pass for one of the cumbersome textbooks that most of the students here had to carry about between their classes. A curious habit, writing one's own thoughts onto paper meant for no one to read - Mina had always thought so anyway, until recently. Mina's equivalent of this habit had always been to confide in Blake, though such occasions were relatively rare that Mina doubted herself. Today was arguably one such occasion, and it so happened that Blake was unavailable, and had been a great deal less available than was the norm of late.
It had been nearly a week since their latest encounter with Mr. Torchwick, and in that time, Mina could count on one hand the number of times they'd spent more than five waking minutes together outside of class. At first she had the sense of urgent haste that Blake had been demonstrating to the desire to strike while the iron was hot, so to speak, but as the days wore on, her Dearest didn't ease up. Blake would spend hours above and beyond the time which she would normally spend in the library doing her research into the matter, though what she did exactly, Mina didn't know – Blake told her not to trouble herself over it, but she couldn't help it, particularly when Blake all but stumbled into the dorm well after midnight, always saying to her "I'll be fine… go to sleep…" But what could she do?
"Oh… Hello Mina…" Weiss straightened at her entry, instinctively moving a hand to cover the pages before relaxing when it sank in again that it was Mina, "You surprised me…"
"As I once more surprise myself to return here alone…" Mina sighed, taking a seat on Blake's bed, "But I suppose that it cannot be helped…"
Weiss closed the little book and more fully turned in her seat to face Mina, "Blake slink off to the library again?" Mina nodded, and Weiss shook her head, "Honestly…"
"I am certain that she means well… But enough of that… what troubles you?"
Weiss recoiled a bit in surprise, "Why would you think that I'm troubled, huh?" Mina could hear the somewhat resigned smile in Weiss's voice though.
"You were writing in your diary," Mina offered, "I've never noticed you spend your time on it when you are at ease…"
"That obvious huh? And I thought I'd been careful enough…" Weiss smiled somewhat ironically, "But fair enough; you've got me,"
"So then we have something in common; seeing as my laments ought be self-evident enough though, we return to the question of what troubles you, Weiss?" Mina didn't really know why she was doing this – Weiss did like her privacy after all – but perhaps it was a distraction for herself, Mina supposed, before adding with a wry smile as she gestured toward her ears, "I am an excellent listener…"
It was Weiss's turn for a sigh, "Really Mina, it's nothing – first world problems – the sort of thing Blake would probably give me dirty looks for fretting about when there's obviously something bigger going on…"
"Blake…. Maybe…" Mina admitted; Blake really could be rather narrow-minded in her devotion to the 'greater good' sometimes, "But not me…"
"It's..." Weiss hesitated, "Actually Mina… no offense, but I do write these things down in a diary for a reason…"
Mina smiled a bit more wholeheartedly this time, "That stubborn pride of yours has its charms; I imagine Mr. Vasilias thinks that it is cute…"
"Wha- I don't know what you're…" Weiss facepalmed, "Oh, who the hell am I kidding…"
Mina chuckled, "I'd have said 'yourself,' but you seem to have gotten over that…"
"Has anyone ever told you that you're unnervingly perceptive for a blind girl?"
"It has been suggested," Mina allowed, "I imagine that kind of clarity comes when one is honest with oneself…"
"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Weiss raised an eyebrow.
"Just that the Ice Queen doesn't want to admit that she has a soft spot,"
"Ice Queen? Really?" the heiress grumbled, "I don't need you calling me that too…"
"Merely for the sake of a metaphor; I promise not to make a habit of it," Mina pledged, "But I am certain that you see what I am driving at…"
"Yes… yes I do…" Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose, "I just… it frustrates me to no end…"
"What? That you're fond of a boy?" Mina couldn't help a little laugh, "I see no reason why this should bother you; admittedly I've scarcely met him, but he seems nice enough – even if he did get swatted off the freeway a touch earlier than expected the other day…"
"That's just it though-,"
"That he got swatted off the freeway?"
"No," Weiss rolled her eyes and slumped back in her chair, "It's that I barely know him either…" She shook her head, "No… That's not quite it either… It's more like the fact that I thought about how I don't really know him at all bothers me…"
"It occurred to you that it could simply be a shallow infatuation, and now you don't want to accept that you would fall victim to something of that nature?" Mina suggested, her expression softening from mild amusement to sympathy.
Weiss was silent for a long time after that. Whether it was because she was privately puzzling out her thoughts on the matter or because Mina had overstepped, Mina couldn't be sure, but when the Heiress did speak up again, there was an air of controlled resignation to her voice, "It's like this Mina: I am the Heiress to the Schnee Dust Company, and where this… matter is concerned, that means that, sooner or later, my father will select the most advantageous husband for me. I don't want that, but…" Weiss stared at the floor, "how the hell do I fight him on this if I don't even know what I do want? I guess what I'm trying to say is that… I want to find somebody before my father finds someone for me… And Neptune seems… nice…"
"But you aren't sure," It wasn't a question.
"I've got enough qualities that I don't like about myself Mina. I'll be damned if I'm going to add regret to the list. That's why…" Weiss stared at the ceiling now, "That's why I'm not sure… I don't quite know if I like him, or what he represents…" She shot Mina a look, "You're in a happy, loving, and committed relationship; any advice?"
Anyone else might have chewed their lip at such a question – Mina had learned better the first time she'd punctured her own lip doing so at about five years old – but instead, Mina squeezed her leg, "Honestly Weiss, I am not certain of how useful my input would be to you; my experience flows in the opposite order… The affection came first and the… urges followed-,"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nobody said anything about urges Mina!" Weiss objected, red in the face.
Mina simply cocked her head to the side, "Did you not suggest that you found Mr. Vasilias attractive?"
"Well, yes, but still… that's a bit of a leap from… what you were talking about…" The Heiress paused for thought, "But I'd be lying if I said that I didn't envy what you have with Blake…"
Mina raised an eyebrow, "Is that a challenge?"
Weiss just stared at her for a long moment, and then the both of them broke out into laughter, "Honestly Mina…"
"One can never be too sure~" Mina couldn't keep a straight face as she said it though.
"I suppose this was all rather silly of me…" Weiss admitted, "And so petty next to everything else…"
Mina was suddenly sullen, "No… not petty... Why should your feelings not be just as important as anything else?"
"Mina…?"
Mina's face fell, "Tell me something Weiss… Why do you have a Diary?"
Weiss blinked a few times, taken aback by the somewhat odd question, "I'm not sure I follow…"
"There is nothing to follow Weiss; I simply want to know why you keep a diary…"
Weiss took a deep breath, "Alright… well, perhaps you would know better than I would about this, but growing up, I didn't really have any friends…"
Mina nodded.
"And my family… well… I believe I've touched on this before, but the Schnee household isn't exactly famed for its warm and loving nature…" Weiss let a sarcastic tone slip into her voice, but the bitterness died as she continued, "And Schnees aren't supposed to cry because they're lonely… So… I got this," She held up the little book, "I've found that it forces me to make thoughts out of my sorrows, rather than just wallowing in them. It was almost like having someone to talk to about my problems – almost – but the best that I could hope for under the circumstances…"
"And why then do you still keep it, when you have us?" Mina made a gesture to indicate the whole of the dorm, her meaning plain, "Why not simply be rid of that testament to your own miseries and unburden yourself to one of us?"
"I thought I was," More silence. This time though, while Weiss's sad little smile had returned, Mina was stricken dumb, so the Heiress continued, "Don't take this the wrong way Mina – I really do appreciate your helping me work through this; a diary really is no substitute for a friend, but old habits die hard I guess – but it's okay, you don't have to pretend like you're feeling fine for my benefit…"
"But-,"
"I'll be sure to give Neptune a shot, if nothing else – there is that dance coming up after all – but for now… I'm not the only one in this room that needs to unburden herself, am I?"
"Perhaps I underestimated the usefulness of a diary…"
"Blake?" Weiss asked, knowing the answer.
"Blake," Mina nodded.
"Alright, I'll tell you what," Weiss leaned forward on her chair, "I'll be your diary, is that all right? Any time you need to say something, get a weight off your chest, or just… just a shoulder to cry on…" Weiss hesitated for a moment – categorical gestures such as these were not something she made a habit of – but it was only a moment's pause, "Just say the word, any time, and my schedule is clear, okay? I may not have ears quite so sharp as yours, but I can be a good listener too…"
Mina took a long time to think about this, before finally she began again, "I've scarcely crossed paths with Blake in days – since our little investigation really - and I miss her… It is selfish, and I know it, but this investigation consumes so much of her time – so much of her – that frankly… I… I want her back… I have never had or really understood her convictions Weiss… She seems as though she wants to assume and atone for all the guilt of the White Fang through this hunt of ours, the way she applies herself to it, day in and day out; what sleep she gets is fitful, and I don't know how to help her…"
Weiss's expression darkened, "Yes… shutting people out when she needs them most is an unfortunate tendency of hers…"
"I want to help her, Weiss – against any enemy, I would stand and fight them for her if I could – but how… how do I help her when she does this to herself?"
Weiss was quiet for a moment before she answered, "This is… the worst I've seen her… obsess like this over anything… Has she ever done this before?"
"Once…" Mina winced merely at the thought of it, "Not long before she left… the White Fang…"
"Let's not have any tears Mina," The words were stern, but Weiss's voice was gentle, "Blake is not going to leave you again over this – if anything, I'd wager she just feels like putting a stop to… whatever's going on will help clear her conscience…"
"I am not certain that I follow…"
Weiss took a deep breath, "We all have our flaws and weaknesses Mina; mine…" she hesitated, "My most prominent one is pride – hence the diary, as I don't generally like sharing my problems - and if I may be so bold, yours is the way your entire world revolves around Blake,"
"But I-,"
"You love her, I know," Weiss said without condescension, "but look at what happened to you when you thought she was crushed under that building…"
"I…"
"It's okay…" Weiss got up to sit down beside her now, "The thing about flaws is, once you recognize them, you can work to fix them – I thank my father for teaching me that, if nothing else – I've just found that… well… that first step is always the hardest…"
"What then is Blake's weakness?"
"If I were bitter, I'd say self-righteousness," Weiss said dryly, "That quality of hers infuriated me when we first met… but really, that's only a part of it… at least as I see it… The rest… is complicated."
"What do you mean?"
"People say that I am a perfectionist, and in one sense they are right; only the best is expected of me, and my father settles for nothing less – in employees or daughters – but I have a finite standard against which to measure my worth – his expectations. Blake… Blake's problem is also pride – but of a different sort; correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that she too is a perfectionist, but of a much more personal nature… the set of expectations Blake applies herself to are her own. Just like how my… upbringing has a way of making me… arrogant at times… growing up in the White Fang made Blake sanctimonious… No offense?"
Mina shook her head, "None; it is true enough,"
Weiss's bearing betrayed some relief, "Well… the thing about that, is that Blake is too smart – too conscientious – to be like that without having her own house in order, so to speak…"
"And you think that the White Fang…"
Weiss nodded, "They're a huge red smear on her ledger; If I had to guess, she feels responsible for them because, not only was she a former member, but on a more fundamental level, she believes in the same cause, and I don't think she wants to accept that anyone fighting for that should be… for lack of a better word, evil…"
"So this is about her own conscience then?" Mina nodded, "I suppose that makes sense… in the abstract anyway…"
"It's like you said that time when you kidnapped me; something like 'the true altruist is a rare breed,' – I would guess that Blake's doing this to herself as much for the sake of her self-respect as for the 'greater good…' whatever the 'greater good' actually is…"
"What then would you suggest?"
"That…" Weiss sighed, "That is an excellent question… But I suppose that the first step would have to be to convince her that she has a problem…"
"Hmmm…"
"I know you don't like letting her do this to herself…" Weiss continued, "But to be honest… people like her – and people like me – with too much pride, I mean, don't like to be told what they can and can't do… so for now… we might just have to let her burn herself out…"
"And she'll realize that she cannot carry this all herself…"
Weiss nodded, "Until then, or until she plainly refuses to see it, we need to indulge ourselves of a little perfectionism," Weiss smiled a bit, "Show her that she's not the only one who can put a stop to Torchwick's little cabal…"
Mina felt a little smile tug at the corner of her own mouth at those words, "Indeed…"
Weiss awkwardly offered a hug, "Hang in there?"
Mina took the offered embrace, stiff though it was, "Of course, Dear Diary…"
Author's Note: Okay, so a little angst and feels – I promise the next chapter will be a bit fluffier, but I kinda had to establish Blake's obsessive behavior for future chapters. Perhaps it was odd to do so without her being physically present in the chapter, but given the nature of the behaviors Blake is slipping into, I don't think I can get a great deal out of her until I'm ready to resolve the issue in a few chapters without undercutting the resolution, so to speak. With that in mind, Blake will alas be in a backseat for a little while – not on a bus or anything, but the next chapter or two won't really be about her – and I'm also trying to develop Weiss and Mina's friendship a bit more… I have plans for that… At any rate, I do hope that you enjoyed the chapter, angsty though it was, and I always appreciate any feedback that you care to leave. Until next time, have a good day/evening.
