Sorry for the script details! I don't have a copy and I'm trying to watch Densi vids and see if I can get anything after. Now I'm going to start to do Kensi's POV after episodes unless it's super big Densi or something with Afghanistan.

I walked up to Deeks, dragging my feet a bit. For the first time in forever, we officially got to talk about our thing. No crying, no sleeping together. Just Kensi and Deeks. At work. At our home.

I walk up to his desk. He looks up at me.

"So, about our thing." I say, placing my hands onto his desk. I didn't know what to say. I was kind of in this weird place where I wanted to continue our thing, but then again, I didn't care.

"Right, about our thing."

He talked a bit, and then handed me the knife. I was shattered, but didn't show it. He, the man who kissed me under the rain, who held me as I sobbed. The man I used as MY tether while I was tortured. I took the knife, and put it near the box. His eyes followed, anxious as well.

I took the knife, and cut the tape. Let him see what it was, if he had the courage. I left, leaving him and the box, while I tried to keep my tears in.

"No, no, no." I whispered, as I ran out the Mission doors, into the dark, starry night. I opened my car door, and shut it. I didn't want him to come out. I didn't want him to see.

I started my car engine and pressed onto the gas pedal, pushing, farther, farther. Just a few blocks away, in some suburban neighborhood where the houses were all painted white with different colored doors, I turned off the car,

And began to cry.

I took the day off today. After a restless night, I didn't want to go back to see him. I knew that he might come around to see how I was, probably bringing some Yummy Yummy Heart Attack. And for that made sure I locked the door.

I had an appointment with my therapist, who I still decided to see, and was going to see my mom for a bit.

"So Kensi, how are you doing? Any better? Any worse?" asked Simone as I sat in her office later that morning.

"I don't know. My boyfriend broke up with me, and I... still get flashbacks." I said, sighing a bit.

"Oh. And was it a heavy break up or an easy one?" asked Simone, writing a bit of notes down on her clipboard.

"In the middle. But it hurt a lot. I mean, he rescued me. Just before I was shipped off, he and I agreed to go slow on our relationship, but to start. And now it's gone." I said.

"Okay. And do you know why you're still getting flashbacks?" asked Simone, changing the subject.

"I don't know. I just can't let them go. When I try, they just hit... me harder." I said, my voice cracking. I put my head in my hands as tears started to trickle out a bit. I felt Simone touch my hand.

"You need a tissue?" she asked, handing me the box of Kleenex. I sniffled and took one.

"I don't know why I'm so weak. I'm usually super tough." I said, blowing my nose. I glanced at my watch. "I have to go meet my mom."

"Sometimes the worst brings out the weakest out of us." said Simone. "And Kensi," she said as I got up.

"Yeah?"

"I'd let go of him as a boyfriend, but bring him in as a friend." said Simone as I opened the door.

"I'll keep that in mind." I said, as I left.

At my mother's, I sat on her blue floral chair, while she sat in the matching one across from me, holding a cup of tea.

I'd just told her I'd been tortured in Afghanistan. She was in shock, but pretended like she wasn't that hurt. But I knew my mother, she wasn't like that.

"I made my famous chicken parmesan." she smiled, going into the kitchen and got the hot yellow pan out of the oven. She knew I was coming, and knew that that was my favorite meal that she ever made.

"Come on, Kensi." she smiled, setting the table. "Let a mother baby her little girl." I smiled a bit and gave in. Once I walked into the kitchen, she hugged me tightly. Just like the first time I went to her house after 15 years of not seeing her. I didn't say anything, but hugged her back.

"Now, how about we eat, and you can tell me all about Deeks." she said, sitting down. It hurt, but I told myself that she didn't know. I had to tell her.

"So, baby?" Mom said, cutting her chicken. "Is it good?"

"Super." I replied, my mouth full of it. "And, Mom."

"Yes?" she asked.

"Deeks and I... well... we aren't-" I couldn't go on without my voice breaking.

"Oh" said my mom. "And do you plan on going back to work soon?"

"Hopefully." I said, getting more chicken onto my fork. We ate in silence for the rest of the meal.

Sorry not much happens. In the next chapter, I'll try to add some juice.