-14-

The guards led Ryll away. She held her head up as they led her toward the dungeons. She passed Merlin but didn't meet his gaze. Whatever happened to her, this had been her idea and she would face the consequences alone.

The guards pushed her into a cell, locking the door behind her, and Ryll was left alone, her body shaking from weariness, her mind still absorbing what had just happened. She dropped onto the cot before letting tears roll down her cheeks. Whatever she had expected to happen, this was not it. The day wore on until sunset tinged the sky outside the bared window of her cell. She had shed her armor hours before and now wore Arthur's altered breaches and tunic. Her long hair fell in honey colored tangles around her face and shoulders. A fiercely purple bruise had formed on her arm where the lance had hit her and she had several other bruises. Without her necklace she felt exposed and unprotected. As the pain worsened in her arm, she started to regret taking the ring off.

Footsteps stirred her from her reverie. She looked up to find herself looking at Arthur. He had changed out of his armor and cleaned up, but his eyes were weary. "Ryll, what were you thinking?" he asked softly. He stopped in front of the bars of her cell. They were alone, but Ryll couldn't meet his eyes. She could see the disappointment in his eyes and feel it in the air, clinging to her skin and stinging her eyes.

"I wanted to prove myself. Is that so wrong?"

"It's wrong when you go against all the rules. You proved you could disobey everything. You proved you could lie to my face."

She cringed. All the triumph she had felt earlier in the day disintegrated into shame. She hung her head.

"Look at me," Arthur requested, his tone sharp but edged with a longing she couldn't understand. She looked up, meeting his blue eyes. "How could you lie to me without thinking about the consequences of your actions?"

"I didn't think," she said in a small voice. Despite her friendship with Arthur, his anger made her quail.

"No, you didn't. My father sees it as treason. Disrespect for everything the tournament stands for. He would see you shut in the dungeons for who knows how long."

"And you?" Ryll asked, forcing herself to meet his eyes.

"I don't want to see you in the dungeons. But I can't just ignore the fact that you lied to me, worked behind my back, and completely ignored the rules of the tournament."

"Well maybe the rules should change. If I were a knight, I could have entered, but I'm a woman and I'm not of noble blood. You've seen me fight. Why shouldn't I be a knight?"

Arthur gazed at her for a long while. "Is that what this is all about?" he asked. "You want to me a knight?"

"What if I do?" she challenged.

Arthur sighed. "Ryll, you're an incredible fighter, you are. But that doesn't change the laws and traditions that have been passed down since Camelot was built. I can't change that. My father won't change it."

"Perhaps you will some day."

"Well, you haven't proved yourself worthy to be a knight. You lied and cheated and went behind everyone's back. Do you think those are the traits of a knight?" Arthur asked, his words cutting into Ryll.

"No, I don't, but that's what I'm forced to do in order to prove myself."

"You don't have to prove yourself to anyone. You proved that you are brave and a good fighter when you saved Morgana's life and my life and fought off the humatas. You didn't need to do this to prove all that."

Ryll had no reply to that.

"I will try to speak with my father, plead with him to let you out of here, but he won't be happy. You aren't in his favor."

"May I speak with him?" Ryll asked.

"Why?"

"I want to apologize," Ryll said. "I didn't think about the traditions and ideals of the tournament – the knight's honor. I proved that I don't understand what it takes to be a knight. I have a lot to learn – even about being a citizen of Camelot."

Arthur's face lifted a little and his frown disappeared. "Your heart is in the right place, Ryll. But you're too impulsive for your own good. I can see though that you've learned your lesson. You're intelligent. We all make mistakes."

"I just made a huge one. Everyone must be in a state, finding out the second place winner is a girl."

At this, Arthur's expression slid into a smile though he tried to hide it. "The other knights were more than a little dismayed to learn that they had been beaten by a girl. A skinny one at that."

Ryll grinned. "I do know how to create an uproar."

"I'll speak with my father and see if he'll have an audience with you."

"I am truly sorry," Ryll said before he left.

"I know." Arthur's eyes were much less angry when he looked at her one last time before disappearing from view.

Ryll sat back down, beginning to feel ashamed of herself. Before she could gather her thoughts, she heard running footsteps, a clattering of something being knocked over, and then saw Merlin skid to a stop in front of her cell.

"Ryll," he said when he saw her. "I'm so sorry. This shouldn't have happened. If only I had-"

Ryll held up a hand to cut him off. "You shouldn't have done anything. This was my idea. I got you into this. You are not going to get into trouble over this. Do you know what Arthur would do if he found out you helped me? You are going to feign innocence. If you don't, I'll plead with him that it was all my idea and that I forced you to help me. He could do a lot worse to you than me," she told him. "Uther as well."

"But you don't deserve this," Merlin said.

"Yes I do. I ignored the rules, flouted the Knight's Code, and lied to the Prince of Camelot. I think I do deserve to be locked down here. I was stupid and rash. I didn't think this through. I was only thinking about myself and winning, not about the consequences of my actions or how they would affect everyone else."

"I saw Arthur leaving. What did he say?" Merlin asked.

"He was angry at first. But he's going to speak with his father to try to get me an audience."

"An audience? Why?"

"So I can apologize."

"Ryll, you just wanted to prove yourself."

"And I did. I proved that I have no idea what I'm doing and I completely disregarded laws and rules and traditions and codes. I wanted to be a knight for a day, but instead I showed that I have no idea what it takes to be a knight."

"You want to be a knight?"

Ryll bit her lip. It was a bit like a confessional. She had never shared her dreams of becoming a knight to anyone – she hardly even thought about it to herself – and yet here she had confessed it to both Arthur and Merlin within a few minutes.

"Ever since I saw my parents and my village die," she said. "I'd never told anyone that before today."

"You wanted to be able to protect the people around you like you couldn't do before," Merlin said, understanding in his voice.

"Yes."

"But Ryll, you were a child. You couldn't do anything. It wasn't your fault," he told her softly."

"But now I can do something. It's too late to save my family, but I can save other people."

"And you have already."

"And I've also made a mess of everything else. I'll be lucky if I'm allowed to carry a sword from now on."

"Well, things aren't always going to be like they are now. One day Arthur will be king and things will be different." His voice was hopeful.

"You really think that?" Ryll asked.

"I know it. People who are … different won't have to hide who they are." His eyes shone as he spoke, and Ryll wondered if he included himself in this.

"Do you have to hide who you are?" she asked quietly.

His expression was unreadable as he spoke. "We all have something different about us that we fear others won't accept."

"I suppose that's true. Everyone will have to accept that I'm a girl who can wield a sword better than all the knights in the kingdom."

He laughed at this. "That might take awhile."

She sighed. "Well, I guess I need to hope for forgiveness first before acceptance. I'd really rather not spend the rest of my life in a cell."

"I don't think you're that much of a criminal," Merlin told her.

"Maybe not, but I saw the king's face when he saw it was me. His anger is frightening."

"Everyone would agree with you, I think. Even Arthur. Morgana is the only one who stands up to him and gets away with it, and even she sometimes crosses the line. Like a few minutes ago. She was furious with Uther for throwing you in a cell. You should have heard the raised voices. I'm pretty sure the whole kingdom heard them arguing."

Ryll smiled. "I hope she didn't get into trouble on my account."

"I'm more worried about you."

"I'll be fine. I've got Arthur and Morgana on my side. Uther won't do anything too bad to me." Ryll got up, walking over to the door of the cell.

"I hope not. I still don't like making you take all the blame."

"It's not worth you getting into trouble over. Uther wouldn't blink before having you thrown out of Camelot. I don't want to be at fault for that."

"You're a good friend," Merlin said. Ryll smiled, taking his hands through the bars of the cell. They were warm against her cold hands. "I'll do anything I can for you."

Ryll felt her heart flutter slightly but whether it was from nerves or something else, she wasn't sure. Whatever it was, she didn't get the chance to find out. There was the sound of footsteps and a guard came into view. Merlin pulled away but not before slipping something into Ryll's hand.

"For luck," he said. He turned and left just as the guard stopped at her cell. Ryll looked down to see her necklace in her hand. She looked up at the guard.

"The king would like to see you," he said to her. "I'll escort you upstairs."

Ryll nodded. "Thank you," she said quietly, slipping the necklace on when he looked down to unlock the door to her cell. She came forward, walking at his side without a word. He led her up to the throne room though Ryll's feet were familiar with the well-trodden path. The guard stopped at the door addressing the two guards who stood watch over the door.

"I'll wait out here," he said. The doors opened, and Ryll was left with no choice but to walk in. Uther stood in front of his throne, Arthur at his side. The walk up to them seemed to take eons. Ryll felt smaller and smaller as she approached the king and his son. Suddenly she felt as if any sort of apology would not suffice.

When she reached the king, she fell to her knees, bowing her head until he asked her to rise. "Well," Uther said to her, his steel-grey eyes cold and unforgiving. "What have you got to say for yourself?"

"First I want to say that I'm sorry for any trouble I caused. I didn't think about the consequences of my actions. I only thought about proving myself in battle when I should have considered honor and respect for rules and traditions. I know I made a mistake, but I really have learned something. I meant no harm whatever I did." She bowed her head, feeling like a child waiting for a scolding.

"What you did was shameful," Uther began. "You humiliated many knights of honor, you broke the rules of the tournament and everything it stood for. But you stand before me confessing that you understand your wrongdoings. Though I cannot overlook what you did, you show honor by apologizing for your actions."

Ryll looked up in surprise. Uther was looking at her with something other than anger. "You remind me so much of Morgana," he said. "Stubborn, always determined to do what you believe is right."

"I can act without thinking, but I never act knowing that I'll hurt someone," Ryll said softly.

"You saved Morgana's life and Arthur's. I will not forget that," Uther told her. "But what you did cannot go unpunished. You will be forbidden from attending any future tournaments. If you ever do something like this again, you'll be banished from Camelot. I expect you to act upon what you learned today."

"I will. Thank you. You are a fair king. I appreciate you giving me a second chance."

"I was young once too," Uther said, smiling. "We all act rebelliously when we think we know everything."

Ryll nodded though she didn't think she knew everything. Let him think she was just a disobedient child. She'd be lucky to be treated like anything other than a child from now on.

"I also believe it would be good to have something else to occupy your time instead of swordplay. I've asked Gaius to take you under his wing. You will help him and Merlin with anything they need in the physician's court."

"I will do that," Ryll said. There could be worse punishments. At least she could spend time with Merlin.

"You're free to go. Arthur will inform the guards that you are no longer a prisoner."

"Thank you." Ryll bowed before turning to leave. Arthur joined her. When they reached the door, she turned her head slightly to look at him. He met her gaze.

"Be thankful that's all your punishment," he said. "Although spending your days with Merlin is a unique form of punishment in itself." Ryll could tell he wasn't mad anymore by his tone. She glanced at Uther to make sure he was looking the other way before squeezing Arthur's hand briefly.

"Thank you for speaking for me. I won't be humiliating anyone again. Lest it be myself and hopefully not then."

"I know you won't. I'll be making sure of that. I know you weren't working alone." Ryll felt a twinge of dread, but he didn't press the matter. They passed the guards, Arthur pausing to speak with the one who had brought Ryll up from the dungeons.

"Are you escorting me to my room?" Ryll asked mockingly.

Arthur cast her a sidelong glance. "I just want to make sure you don't run off." He smiled to show he was joking. Then he plucked at the fabric of her shirt. "Is this one of mine?" he asked, frowning thoughtfully.

"Er, yes?" She grimaced.

"I'm not even going to ask."

"Please don't."

"That scarf, however, is not mine, but I do know someone who wears those."

Ryll had forgotten about the scarf Merlin had given her as a good luck token. It was still wrapped around her neck. She touched it self-consciously. "No, it's one of mine. I just wanted a little extra protection around my neck."

Arthur looked as if he wanted to say more, but Ryll was not about to tell him where she had really gotten it. They reached her room where Arthur stopped.

"I'm going to take a bath, get some sleep, and go straight to the physician's quarters to see if Gaius and Merlin need any help first thing in the morning."

"Good. I'll check in with you tomorrow."

"You don't trust me?"

"Not entirely. Not after you lied to me." His expression was somber again.

"I lied about being sick. I never said I wasn't entering into the tournament."

Arthur didn't smile. "It doesn't matter," he said. "A lie is a lie." He turned and left Ryll standing alone at her door.