-15-

Ryll was up at dawn's first light, dressing plainly and tying back her thick waves in a braid that ran down to her waist. She decided to skip breakfast – she didn't even know if she was invited to eat with Arthur anymore. Probably not. Maybe Merlin would share his porridge.

When she reached the physician's quarters, she knocked on the door and slipped in to find Gaius standing at a table mixing something and Merlin sitting eating his breakfast. He looked up when he heard her, smiling brilliantly. She couldn't help but smile back.

"'ello Ryll," he said, his mouth full.

"Good morning." Ryll's stomach growled audibly.

"Hungry?" Merlin asked after swallowing.

"Yes, er, I wasn't sure if I was invited to eat with Arthur and Uther anymore. I didn't really want to ask." She looked down, ashamed.

"That's alright. You can eat here. There's enough to go around." He poured another bowl of porridge for her and handed her a chunk of bread. Ryll sat down across from him and ate at a much slower pace than him.

"Is there something I can help you with today?" she asked. She looked over to where Gaius was mixing what she supposed was medicine.

"There's been an outbreak of sickness in the city as well as some of the outlaying villages. I'm going to be checking on the people in Camelot while you and Merlin ride to the village of Merdor. I'm preparing a tonic that should ease the sickness," Gaius answered her.

"Do you know what's causing the illness?" Ryll asked.

"I'm not sure. It just cropped up since the tournament. Maybe someone brought some sickness with them from somewhere else. The sickness results in fever and coughing. This tonic will sooth the coughing and reduce the fever, but we'll have to see if any other symptoms crop up. I'm not yet sure what exactly the sickness is."

"Hopefully the poultice will cure it," Ryll said hopefully, painfully aware of how little she knew of healing. Besides my ring, she thought to herself. My ring…. Her eyes went to Merlin who shook his head ever so slightly.

No, his eyes said.

Ryll opened her mouth to say something, but shut it again. She would talk to Merlin when they rode out to Merdor. She held the power to heal in her hand, then why shouldn't she use it? She glared at him for a moment before returning to her breakfast.

…

The road to Merdor was dusty after a morning rain. The sky had cleared, but Ryll could still smell the rain in the air. Their horses' legs were flecked with mud shortly after they left the city walls. Merlin had been even chattier than usual, and Ryll deemed that he was trying to distract her from the former day's events. He avoided the topic of the tournament, Arthur, Uther, and anything else remotely related to what had happened the day before. Ryll nodded, smiling at his antics.

"I appreciate your attempt to cheer me up," she said as he paused for breath. "But I'm alright. You don't have to distract me."

He looked over at Ryll, his expression unsure. "Alright," he said finally.

"How was Arthur this morning?" Ryll asked, breeching the subject Merlin had been so wary to bring up.

"He didn't say much actually. He didn't even yell at me."

"He's still upset with me. I lied to him and that hurt him. It's not so much about entering the tournament – it's that I lied to him to do it. He doesn't trust me anymore."

"I'm sure that's not true-"

"No, it is. He told me that."

Merlin looked over at her again, his blue eyes sad. "He'll get over it," he said. His eyes flickered down to her ring. "Ryll, I know what was crossing your mind when you found out that we were going to tend a sick village."

"I don't know what you mean," Ryll said, looking away.

"Yes you do. Come on, Ryll, I know you better than that. Now that you know about the healing abilities your ring has, you're not going to just let it rest."

"You're right. Why should I if I can help people?"

"It's too dangerous. If people start getting better without explanation Uther will get suspicious."

"What's the problem if they're getting better?" Ryll asked. "Besides, Gaius's concoction would be the perfect solution to avert suspicion."

Merlin sighed. "You don't get how dangerous it could be. If anyone even suspects that you're using magic…." He shook his head. "The consequences would be dire."

"So I'm just supposed to sit there and do nothing?" she asked.

"No, we help people in the best way we can," Merlin replied. "You can't rely on your ring for everything."

"Then why did you give it back to me?" she asked.

"I didn't want to see you hurt," Merlin said after a moment.

"People are sick though."

"You don't even understand the power you have," Merlin told her. "You don't understand how it works. People who hold such a power – whether good or bad – it doesn't make a difference to Uther. Magic is not allowed in Camelot and he isn't going to care whether or not you're using it to heal people."

Ryll knew that what he was saying made sense, but she still didn't want to listen.

"We don't even know how bad the sickness is," Merlin cut into her thoughts. "Gaius's tonic might heal them." Ryll nodded. "Let's just wait and see."

They rode in silence until they reached the small village. There were very few people to be seen along the road leading through the village, Ryll noted. She wondered how many had fallen ill and if the sickness had worsened since Gaius had received word about it. The few villagers they saw looked up at them with wordless stares, their eyes telling of the troubles they had seen of late. Ryll pressed a hand to her ring, feeling Merlin's eyes on her as he noted her movement. She put her hand back down on the pommel of the saddle, looking straight ahead.

Merlin stopped at one of the houses to greet a middle-aged woman. He introduced himself and told her that Gaius had sent them. The woman looked at Ryll with a faraway expression before nodding and motioning for the two of them to follow her into the house. Ryll dismounted, and they left their horses standing out front of the house. Merlin motioned for Ryll to enter first, his hand brushing her back as he followed her in.

Ryll was struck at once by the utter silence within the room. No coughing, no moaning, just silence. Her first instinct was to think that everyone had died during the night, but then she saw that the man and young woman who lay on cots by the fire stirred. They were deathly pale, their eyes rimmed with purple like bruising. They looked to be on the brink of death, but Ryll could hear their steady breathing.

"Whatever the sickness," the woman told them, "I have never seen it in my life. I thought it was a common cough at first, but after their fevers broke last night, their temperature went down. They're ice cold but still alive." She looked afraid. Ryll realized that was what she had seen behind the villagers' eyes as they had ridden through. Fear. They didn't know what was causing the sickness or how many it would take.

Merlin moved forward with his medic's bag to examine the older man while Ryll hung back, her gaze captured by the young woman. She was more a child than a woman. She could not have been more than twelve. She looked so near to death, Ryll's heart leapt out to her. She moved forward to crouch next to Merlin, her shoulder brushing his. She felt calmer with his body heat next to her as she gazed at the frozen faces.

"Do you know what's wrong with them?" she whispered.

"Could you bring me some hot water?" Merlin requested of the woman. She nodded and moved out of the room. Merlin looked over at Ryll. "This isn't an ordinary sickness," he told her.

"Then what?"

"Sorcery."

"Sorcery? But who would do this?" she asked.

"An enemy of Camelot or of Uther. Take your pick. There are plenty."

"Do you know how to heal them?" Ryll asked.

Merlin shook his head. "I must speak with Gaius."

"But they could be dead very soon. Look at them!" Ryll argued. "I can help them. I know I can. At least let me try." She looked pleadingly at Merlin. "No one will have to know." She could see him deliberating.

The tense silence was broken when the woman returned with a basin of warm water and a few cloths. "Can you soak their faces?" Merlin asked Ryll, taking command. She nodded, dipping one of the cloths into the basin of water. She mopped the girl's face, watching carefully for any signs of change.

"How many are ill?" Merlin asked.

"A dozen or so. Young and old – it seems to work its way through families," the woman replied.

"How do you mean?" Ryll asked.

"Last night six were ill, my husband among them. Today six more are ill – all in families where the sickness is but only one in each family. And tomorrow…." She spread out her hands. "It's only me left to tend my family. If I fall ill…." Her words hung in the air.

"We won't let that happen," Ryll said. Merlin cast her a worried glance.

"Could we have a moment alone?" Merlin asked the woman. "I'll give them the tonic Gaius prepared this morning," he said once the woman had left. "But I don't think it will help." He glanced up at her. "We need to figure out what's making them sick. Even if you did heal them, there's no guarantee they won't fall ill again."

"I have to try," Ryll told him. "Let me heal them and then we'll find whoever is doing this. We can ask around the village and see if anyone has seen anything unusual. Maybe one of the victims saw something. It could be valuable evidence."

Merlin deliberated for a moment and then nodded hesitantly. "Alright. Heal the girl. If you heal everyone though, people will start to wonder. Gaius's tonic isn't a cure, it's just to help."

"Fine," Ryll consented.

"Do you know what to do?" Merlin asked.

"The ring only works when I'm wearing it." She unclasped it from her neck and slipped the ring onto the girl's slender finger. For a moment nothing happened. Then the girl's complexion began to color, blood rising to her cheeks. The purple faded from around her eyes and she gasped a breath before opening her eyes. Ryll quickly slid the ring off her finger. The girl sat bolt upright, eyes wide, looking around in terror.

"Where is the shadow? Is it gone?" she asked.

"What shadow?" Merlin asked. "Did it make you sick?"

The girl nodded, breathing hard. "You're safe now. Just tell us what you saw," Merlin coaxed.

"There was this shadowy figure – it seemed to be made out of darkness…. It came at me when I was picking apples in the garden. It swooped down at me – it was like it was casting its darkness on me." She shivered. "I felt like it was taking my life away. I felt so empty. It vanished and that's all I remember."

Merlin and Ryll exchanged a glance. Ryll's heart was drilling out a fast tempo. A sickening realization washed over her. She had seen a shadow on the battlefield. It had crept up out of nowhere. Out of her nightmares perhaps.

"Merlin, can I talk to you for a minute?" Ryll asked, nodding toward the door. He gave her a questioning look and then turned back to the girl. "We'll be right back." He followed Ryll outside.

"I saw the shadow," she said without preamble.

"What? When?" Merlin asked, looking alarmed.

"At the tournament – in the last round," she replied. "It just stood there."

"It didn't attack anyone?"

"No. It just stood there. It didn't have a face but I swear it was looking at me."

"Why didn't you mention this before?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I forgot about it to be honest. I had to in order to stay alive."

"Have you seen it since?" he asked. She shook her head.

"But Merlin," she hesitated for a moment before looking him straight in the eye. "It looks just like the shadow that haunts my dreams – the one that murdered my family. I've seen these symptoms before. It's happening again."

Merlin looked at her somberly. "You mean what happened to your parents?" he asked. She nodded mutely. "And it was the same shadowy figure?"

"Yes. Merlin, if it is the same shadow then it's not going to stop until it wipes out every family. It wiped out my entire village."

"Except you," Merlin added gently.

"Except me," Ryll echoed.

"Do you know what it is?"

Ryll shook her head. "Something terrible," she whispered.

"Alright. Let's see if any of the other villagers know anything else, then we'll see if Gaius knows anything about this shadow. If we can figure out what it is, we may be able to figure out how to defeat it." Ryll nodded. She looked down at her hands and saw that they were shaking. "I won't let anything happen to you," Merlin said softly, taking her hands. She looked up at him, meeting his blue eyes. They were wide and honest and in that moment she believed that he really would do anything to protect her. She nodded again, words failing her. They heard the woman inside crying out with joy at the sight of her daughter healed.

"I wish I could heal them all," Ryll said. "But you're right. People would suspect if everyone here was healed with the same remedy that won't heal everyone in Camelot."

"We'll do what we can," Merlin told her. "We'll fix this. I promise."

…

The sun was beginning to set when Ryll and Merlin finally made their way back to Camelot, weary and downtrodden. Merlin looked over at Ryll, watching her carefully. She had been silent the rest of the day, letting him ask the questions. They had administered the tonic but the girl's miraculous recovery was the only one of the day. No one else had seen anything else helpful, so they were stuck with only a vague idea of what they were dealing with.

Whatever had caused their illness was still out there, waiting to strike again. Merlin glanced over at Ryll again, worry etching lines across his forehead. She looked so small suddenly when just the day before she had been a warrior, triumphing against knights twice her size. Now she huddled in the saddle, one hand clenched around the reins, the other clenched around the ring. Her eyes were weary and stayed straight ahead, not even noticing Merlin's stare. He was worried that she had taken on too much. He could tell that when she had healed the girl that some of the guilt from the past vanished, but the worry she felt wouldn't disappear until the shadow from her nightmares was gone for good.

Whatever this creature was, Merlin was determined that it didn't hurt anyone else. Especially Ryll. He felt an overwhelming desire to shield her, protect her. It was unfair for someone so young to feel such a burden. Then again, she reminded him of himself more and more everyday. How alike they were with burdens they couldn't share. At least she had him to confide in, but Merlin did not want to burden Ryll with his own truth. Maybe some day, but not yet. She hardly knew who she was. He didn't want her to think he had deceived her. A lie is a lie, she had told him the day before, mimicking Arthur's words. Merlin lied everyday to protect himself but it was still a lie. Some days he felt as if he were living a lie. It wasn't the perspective he knew he should take, but it was so difficult sometimes not being accepted for who he really was. And should anyone find out what Ryll had done…. He knew Gaius would find out, but it would go no further. Ryll had been subtle with the ring. No one had been any the wiser.

"I wish I could have done more," Ryll said suddenly, startling Merlin.

"You've done enough for now. We really need to find out more about the shadow first," Merlin told her. She looked over at him, and he saw the weariness he felt reflected in her eyes. Suddenly he wished he could tell her that she wasn't alone. He knew what she was going through – having a gift, a power, but unable to use it. She felt guilt for not being able to use her power, but little did she know that he too felt that guilt. It hurt sometimes to keep his power to himself, but it wasn't worth the risk. If they were found out then what good would they be to anyone else? He sighed inwardly. It was beginning to hurt, keeping this truth to himself. But that was the way it had to be. Ryll would have to learn that too.