So sorry for the long break! I had no inspiration until a little bit and that was when life barged through my door, but I'm back and am SOOOOO EXCITED FOR THE SEASON FINALE! Again: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, SCRIPT OR ANYTHING EXCEPT MY OWN CHARACTERS. (and maybe some of my words) rest belongs to CBS.
"Kensi, Deeks, you in position?"
"Just got set up." I called back, peering through my scope. It had been a while since I last looked through one. The longer, the better.
"I got the podium in my sights, which means if Connor's out there, he's close too." added Deeks. My mind went back to the side of the dusty ledge, where I'd set up. Where I almost killed Jack. What if Deeks had been there with me? Would I go to the cave? What if I didn't? No, Kensi. Focus!
"Connor's field of fire has a number of distant buildings to make the shot from." I added, looking at almost every building in the distance
"How're you holding up behind that scope, Kensi?" asked Granger. Of course he'd say that. He was my father's friend, of course he cared about me. That's why he looked so determined to find me, and so relieved in the helicopter.
"I'm good." I replied, keeping an eye out for the Marine sniper. I felt Deeks look over at me, and he said, "Copy that, she's good." Was I good? Was I ready to do this? Was I ready to kill someone? But I didn't want to kill Connor Rutnam. It would be like killing Jack. And I never wanted to give Lisa, even though she's a bitch, the pain of loosing her father at the same age I'd lost mine.
"We've got our eyes on every distant building out here." said Deeks, continuing to peer through the black binoculars.
"Maybe that's the problem. Whoever set this up wanted the assurance that his long distance sniper didn't get spotted."
"Put him in a closer building." replied Deeks. God, why couldn't he cancel? The stress... Jack... no Kens! Eyes on the prize, even though there really was no prize in this situation. I peered through my scope some more, and noticed the barrel of a sniper. "Got movement."
"Sit rep, Agent Blye."
"I got Connor close under the tarp at 2 o'clock."
"I got him." said Deeks.
"What's the location?" Callen's voice echoed through our earpieces. What if my sniper experience went bad? Would I be in Connor's position? Locked in a mental hospital, "dangerous" and could easily be abused by drugs or anything that could get me out of my locked mind?
"Agent Blye, if Connor lines up to shoot, you take him out." snapped Granger, shaking me out of my thoughts. "Copy that."
"Kensi, we're here. Connor in position yet?" asked Sam over the comms.
"Almost." I warned.
"Kensi, we can't take any chances." added Granger. Deeks looked over at me. "Kens." he said in a concerned and firm voice.
"Hold off, we're almost there." So many people breathing down my neck.
"Kens," asked Deeks again. "You good?"
"I'm fine." I snapped, focusing on Connor. How was I going to not kill him while protecting the mullah?
"Agent Blye, you're not going to get another opportunity." echoed Granger.
"This isn't his fault." argued Sam. "Just give us a chance."
"We have to stop him." Granger replied. Deeks stepped in. "Sam and Callen are on the roof." "Take the shot, Agent Blye." said Granger. "Kensi, take the shot."
"Sam, I'm sorry." As a mini shootout began taking place on the roof, Connor's finger was the trigger, and I reacted, without thinking. I pulled the trigger and hit his rifle, knocking him over.
Memories filled my mind. "Nice shot, Kens." Jack, I almost killed Jack again. I began breathing heavily, trying to calm myself down.
"That's a hell of a shot ,partner." added Deeks.
"Yeah." I gulped.
It was my team, female engagement team, and we were nestled up on a hill in the desert, our burqas off and in the dust of Iraq. I was behind the scope, looking for a target.
"Blye, go call it in." whispered Randy Anderson. "I got it from here." Randy, was my best friend from training, and she was going to be my maid of honor at my wedding later that year. I looked down at the small ring on my finger, how the small diamond gently glistened in the desert sun.
But things went wrong immediately. I heard something pop, and a shout. Randy was down. Another bullet, except it pierced my vest. I felt a stab of pain in my ribs, and looking over at my teammate, who was slowly dying.
"Go.." she whispered. "Save yourself."
"I'm not leaving you." I said firmly through tears.
"Don't be a hero, Kens! You have Jack. Get back to Jack." and her eyes closed. Through the rain of bullets, I ducked and grabbed her dogtags and raced back to base with the rest of the soldiers on my team.
Back in the medical tent, Jack immediately rushed in, I could hear his concern, even from outside the tent. I was woozy, having woken up from surgery, and I fell back asleep. But I woke up a few minutes later, and found him, in his desert gear, sweat glistening on his face, and he was gently stroking my hair.
"Hey, baby." he whispered. I just looked at him with sad eyes. Randy was gone. My best friend was gone. Thanks to a sniper. He held me tight, until I was shipped back home, and I was honorably discharged, and Jack was sent off to Fallujia. Never to return the same again.
I put away my rifle in the armory and just sat down on the cold tile floor, my arms around my legs, and I just started rocking. Rocking as unwanted images were projected into my mind.
I rocked in the dark, as tears silently descended down my cheeks. "Please." I whispered. "Please make it stop." I didn't know who I was talking to. Maybe my father, maybe Jack, maybe Dom, maybe anybody who could help me. But nobody could help me. The memories all came at me at once, I couldn't process them all.
"Kensi! Kensi! Kensi! Help me!" "It was really bad." "Her name was Mustana" "Chop off head slowly." "CIA"
"Kensi! Fern, where are you?" I heard echoing down the hall. "I know you want some bu- oh my god." I turned over to look at his now blurry figure. When I saw those eyes, I burst out sobbing. He immediately ran over to me and pulled me into his arms, rocking me and kissed the top of my head.
"Let it out, Kens." he whispered, stroking my hair. "Let it out." I knew Hetty was probably watching us from the cameras, and Callen and Sam would be back soon to put away their guns, but I didn't care about any of them. Deeks was here, and that's all that mattered.
"I-t-t-t was s-s-so real." I sniffled between sobs, as I clung to him. I smelled his cologne and his shampoo that always used. It was fresh, and I just wanted to go to bed with him. We would snuggle under the warm covers together, my head on his chest, his arms around me. And I'd feel safe. It's the only place I feel very safe. So safe I can tell him anything.
"Hey," he whispered, wiping away the loose tears from my face after a few minutes of crying. "Let's get out of here." I nodded, but I didn't want to walk. I was too tired, too occupied. He noticed that, and helped me stand up, and led me out, putting his jacket around my shoulders. We walked through the back, and we bumped into Callen and Sam, who looked very concerned when they saw my red eyes and Deeks leading me out.
"You okay, Kens?" asked Sam, patting my shoulder gently. I shook my head, and Callen gave me a light hug. "We'll see you soon, Kens." They knew me well enough not to go into details, and Deeks helped me out to the car. I looked up as I buckled in, up at the glistening stars and the dark indigo that covered the sky above us. I didn't know why I wanted to be babied, even if I hated it. But now, I was exhausted and lost, and Deeks was my compass.
We drove back in silence, but I felt his soft hands take mine and I looked over at him, and he quickly looked over at me. He looked worried. Like a father. It took me back to one day in high school. I was more teased than ever. I felt so claustrophobic, I got my period in the middle of lunch, and I ended up fainting in the middle of 5th period. I was a bit out of it, but I'd never seen him so worried. He helped me into the car and we went back to base, where he fed me and he basically did my homework while I got sleep. We watched TV and played spit-
"Kens, we're here." said Deeks, snapping me out of my trance. "We're home." I looked out, and saw my house. He offered to help me out, but I pushed him away and walked up the driveway and into the house. I walked into my bedroom and fell onto my bed. I took off my jeans and was too tired to put any shorts on. Deeks jumped in after putting our stuff away, and he stripped down only to his boxers.
"I bet this'll make you feel better. You don't see a body like this in your bed everyday." he smiled, pointing to his abs. I laughed lightly, and replied with what I thought was pretty good comeback. "Yeah, not when you put ugly tank tops over it."
"Touché." he said, and kiss me lightly on the lips, his taste lightening me up. I pulled myself closer to him, and rested my head on his chest, as he twirled my hair with his fingers. "I love you, Kensi."
"I love you too, Deeks." I whispered back, returning a kiss back to him. "And thank you."
"Anything for you, Kens. Anything for you." he whispered as I fell into a deep slumber.
The week after that, we were in a car accident.
It scared the shit out of me, and now that this Russian criminal was in the wind with Arkady's daughter, it looked like we needed to head to Russia. My ears still rung when Deeks and I came home. I found a cut on my neck and bandaged it when no one was looking.
What if that car was a truck? What if it hit us harder than it really did? Would I be dead? Would Deeks- no, I can't think like that. We're safe, thankfully it was nothing. Deeks lightly pinched my cheek.
"You still shakin' up, Fern?" he asked, placing a gentle kiss on my temple. I only looked into those beautiful piercing eyes of his, and intertwined my fingers with his.
"I could've lost you, Deeks." I said, stepping closer to him, feeling his presence even more. "We could've both-"
"Shh." he said, pulling me into a hug. "But we're not, Kens. We still got each other, we're still fighting bad guys and looking fantastic while doing so."
I smiled, and kissed his cheek. "I'm tired, Deeks." He picked me up gently, bridal style and carried me off to bed, where again, another peaceful night passed.
It would be the last one we'd have in a long time.
Review? Hopefully the season finale will inspire me and then we'll only have the fanfics, old episodes and fan videos to get us through the long period of fangirl depression, aka hiatus.