Author's note: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt who are so freaking adorable together. Yeah, I'm addicted to watching Parks and Recreation. Okay, that's all I wanted to say...

-19-

She could see her parents. They were standing near a great willow tree with roots that wound around each other like writhing snakes. It was dead. They stood one on either side, and Ryll could see that there was a doorway in the center of the tree. She could not see what lay beyond. She looked to her mother.

"Amaryllis, you've grown so beautiful," she said, holding out a pale hand. Ryll stepped forward eagerly to take it. Her hand grasped thin air.

"You're-"

"Dead. Yes."

"Then am I?" Ryll looked down at her own hand. Her skin was translucent like a ghost's.

"You're near to death. Defeating the wraith took most of your energy."

"We're so proud of you," her father spoke, taking a step forward.

"You've finally set us free."

"You were trapped, weren't you? Inside the wraith?"

"It sucked the life from us and consumed our souls. We were lost until you set us free. You set many souls free. Now it's time to let them go."

"What do you mean?"

"When the wraith possessed you, it passed the souls onto you. You and only you can set them free so they can move to the beyond." Ryll looked at her mother as she spoke.

"Then I set them free. I don't want them." As she spoke, she felt a sort of release as if a weight had been lifted from her. Glowing orbs emanated from her skin, hovering before her like a flock of fireflies. Then they moved toward the doorway in the tree and disappeared through it.

"It's time for us to go," her mother spoke softly, reaching out a hand to take her husband's.

"No, mother. I've only just found you again!" Ryll cried out, desperate for more time.

"The choice is yours, Amaryllis. You can come with us, or you can go back."

Ryll hesitated. "If I go with you, there's no going back is there? I'll die."

"Yes, you will die," her mother replied.

Ryll took a step toward the tree, but something held her back. She thought she heard a voice calling her name. She looked up. Blue eyes. She remembered blue eyes, glowing brightly, set on her. Ryll. She heard it again. She took a step back, looking to her mother and father, her heart torn in two.

"I cannot go forward," she said finally. "As much as I want to be with you, I have a life back there and friends. If I leave them forever, I'll never forgive myself."

Her mother smiled and nodded. "There is so much more for you, my darling. Go live your life. We will meet again one day."

Ryll stood and watched as her parents walked, hand in hand, toward the doorway. Then they vanished, leaving a gaping hole behind. Ryll felt an emptiness creep into her heart, but she couldn't allow herself to die. She felt an insistent tugging pulling her back into life. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

"Ryll, you're alive! I thought you were dead!" Merlin was holding her cradled in his arms, sitting against the rotting side of a pew. His face was strained and his blue eyes damp.

"Merlin," Ryll croaked, finding that her voice was almost lost. "I thought I was too. I saw them, you know."

"Saw who?"

"My parents."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I set them free." She smiled to herself, leaning her head against Merlin's shoulder. She felt herself drifting.

"Stay with me, Ryll. You have to stay with me," Merlin coaxed, panic in his voice.

"I'm going to stay here with you," she murmured. "I'll always stay with you." She fell asleep, her mind and body no long able to support itself without rest. Merlin sat with her in his arms for a long time, relieved beyond measure that she was alive. He noticed that her ring lay cracked on the floor a few feet away. He frowned, looking down to where her head had struck the floor when she had fallen. A nasty looking cut ran down the side of her forehead. The blood had dried, but it wasn't healing.

"You're just mortal again," he murmured. Maybe that was for the better. She might not be able to heal anymore, but there was nothing ordinary about her. She didn't need that power to shine.

Footsteps interrupted his thoughts and Arthur and Morgana burst through the doors. Their faces registered shock and then horror at the sight of Ryll curled up in Merlin's arms.

"She's alive," he said quickly. "The wraith is gone, but it took a toll on her. She just needs to rest."

"What happened?" Arthur asked, looking over to where the necromancer's body lay.

"I'm not sure. I wasn't here. I just saw the wraith attack Ryll and then vanish. It must have turned on the necromancer."

Morgana looked fearfully around. "It's gone for good?" she asked.

"Yes," Merlin said decisively. "It's gone."

…

The journey back was somber and silent. Ryll slept through most of it, riding in front of Merlin, his arms wrapped protectively around her. She did not speak anymore of what had happened, and no one asked though she could see the question in their eyes. Arthur, she knew, would eventually ask her what had happened. It was his duty as prince to report to his father. She'd tell him the truth when he asked. No more lies, no more secrets. She wanted him – no, needed him to trust her. This was the only way.

It was as they reached the last leg of their journey that Arthur turned to her. "I need to know what happened," he said softly. "If you're willing to tell me." His eyes were gentle and questioning, and she knew he would not force her to tell him.

"I want to tell you everything," she said. "The truth. No more hiding things."

Arthur's eyes turned suspicious, but he nodded. "I'd appreciate that," he said.

"I want all of you to hear exactly what happened because you are all my friends and my family, and I don't want to ever keep anything from you."

They were camped out for the last night before their arrival in Camelot the next morning. All eyes turned to her and even the horses quieted down.

"Some of you know bits and pieces of what I'm about to say," she began, "but I'm going to start from the beginning. When I was a child, my family and my neighbors were killed by a wraith. It sucked the life out of them and consumed their souls in order to strengthen itself. This wraith was controlled by the necromancer who benefited from the power of the souls as well. When he sent the wraith to kill my village, my mother saved my life by giving me a ring. She had enchanted it to heal anyone who wore it and as the wraith took her life, she bound it to the ring. After that, it could no longer do any harm unless I removed the ring. She died telling me to always keep the ring, but I did not realize that if I took it off for a moment that the wraith could escape its bondage.

I took the ring off during the tournament. It felt like cheating to heal when others could not. In doing so, I unwittingly unleashed the power of the wraith once more. Gaius and Merlin researched into the wraith and the necromancer which led us to the citadel. I knew I had to face the wraith alone, so I sent Morgana away to find you two. The necromancer told me of the wraith and how it had been bound by the ring. I smashed the ring to set it free and it killed the necromancer. Then it turned on me. It possessed me for a moment, filling me with all the lost souls it had stolen. Somehow I think the lost souls were too much for the wraith. It passed them onto me and vanished. I fell into a state of unconsciousness that left me on the brink of death, and I saw my parents. They told me that I alone could now set the souls free, and so I did. I had a chance to follow my parents into death, but I chose to come back.

Now the ring is gone, and I have no power to heal. I'm sorry I hid that from you, Arthur. I know how your father feels about magic. I didn't know that the ring was magical until I discovered that my injuries would heal quickly. That's what saved me from death when Morgana and I first met and I was shot. I was afraid after I found out of its power, so I didn't tell you. I'm sorry."

Arthur looked at her for a long moment after she had told her story. "I forgive you," he said simply. "But I do not know if my father will pardon this."

"What?" Merlin exclaimed. "But she didn't do anything wrong."

"We don't have to tell him about the ring," Morgana put in.

"We have to. None of this is going to make sense otherwise."

"But Ryll didn't know the wraith was bound to the ring," Merlin argued.

"It's alright," Ryll said, putting up her hands. "I want him to know the truth. No more secrets."

"I cannot say what my father will do to you," Arthur said, looking grave.

"I know. And thank you for forgiving me. That's all I wanted." She smiled. "Whatever Uther's judgment, that I have the three of you as friends is enough."

…

Seeing the spires of Camelot the following morning was the first time Ryll had felt a dread grip her before entering the city. Whatever happened, she told herself, telling the truth was the best course of action. She cringed at the thought of what Uther might do to her. He could have her executed. He probably would. Somehow that didn't scare her as much as it might have before. She was so tired of lying and hiding who she was. Had she really done something so wrong that she deserved to die? No, but would he see it that way?

They were given time to bathe and rest before meeting together with Uther. Ryll took a long bath and then changed into a plain dress, pulling her hair back in a braid that ran down her back. Her neck felt bare without the ever-present ring, and she missed it for a moment. Then she remembered the misery it had caused her and might still cause her. Better without it. She straightened her dress before leaving her room and heading down the hall. She rounded a corner when she felt a hand grasp her wrist, pulling her into an alcove. She gave a start, turning to find herself facing Merlin. He had bathed and changed his clothes. His hair lay damp against his head. His eyes were wide with worry, a look Ryll had long grown accustomed to when he was looking at her.

"You don't have to do this," he said without preamble.

"Yes, I do," Ryll said. "I can't keep lying about who I am, about what I've done. See where it gets me? Arthur doesn't trust me. I can't lie anymore."

"But Uther might kill you for your honesty. I don't want to see you die, Ryll." Merlin's voice was insistent. Ryll leaned back against the wall behind her, and they stood like this for a moment, barely inches away from each other in the tight space. Ryll took a deep breath before speaking again.

"I want to tell the truth even if Uther punishes me in some harsh way. Maybe I deserve a harsh punishment. I've lied, I've used magic, and I set that wraith loose whether I meant to or not."

"You can't blame yourself for that. You didn't know. You would have sacrificed yourself to save them. You nearly did. Everyone has recovered, you know. Gaius told me as soon as I got back. You did that. You saved them all. Whatever actions you have done, you do not deserve to die for them. You're a hero, Ryll."

This brought a smile to Ryll's lips. "That's what I wanted all along, but now that I've become one, I just want to go back to being a regular person. I don't want to prove myself anymore. I just want to be me."

"You've never had to prove yourself to anyone but yourself," Merlin told her. "Since the moment I met you, I knew you were an incredible person. You just didn't believe it yourself."

"We should go. I don't want to keep Uther waiting."

"Wait," Merlin caught her wrists in his hands gently, keeping her still. "Not just yet," he whispered, leaning closer. His hands ran down her wrists until they were entwined with hers. Ryll looked at up him, her heart beating very quickly. His eyes were so very blue as he moved closer to her. She could feel his breath on her face, the tips of his wet hair brush her forehead. She felt a moment of panic and then his lips brushed hers, gently and hesitantly. She held her breath. He was holding his too. When Ryll didn't move away, Merlin kissed her again, just as gently as before. She could feel him holding back, waiting for her to either kiss him back or move away. She relaxed, letting her instincts take over and kissed him back. She could feel the rough wall against her back and then the soft touch of his hand on the back of her neck, brushing her skin gently. Everything was gentle and hesitant. She leaned into him, willing him to keep kissing her. His other hand brushed her waist, and she moved her hands up so that they were rested around the back of his neck, her fingers twisting in his damp black hair.

Their breath mingled, and Ryll felt the kiss deepen. It became slightly more desperate as if this really was their last moment together. Ryll began to fear her sentence. A hunger took over her. She could tell he'd waited so long to kiss her, and somehow she felt as if she had been waiting too. Suddenly there was no Uther, no judgment awaiting her, no Arthur, no past, only Merlin.

The sound of voices and footsteps broke them apart. They were both breathing hard, their faces flushed. Ryll couldn't meet Merlin's eyes for a moment. Four guards passed their hiding place, and Ryll let out a relieved breath. When they were gone, she finally turned to look at Merlin. His eyes were fairly glowing as he looked back at her. His hands were still holding gently onto her – one on her waist, the other on the back of her neck. Ryll's arms still rested across his shoulders, and her fingers were still entwined with his damp hair.

"I can't lose you, Ryll," Merlin breathed. He brought his face close to hers, his forehead rested against her own. Their breath mingled again.

"You're making this hard," Ryll whispered, laughing nervously.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. I'm sor-"

Ryll cut him off, pressing her lips to his once more. She never wanted to forget this moment, the feel of his hand on the back of her neck, the taste of his lips on hers. She felt as if the moment could last forever, but she knew this couldn't be. She pulled away.

"We have to go," she said. "They'll all be waiting."

"You're sure?" Merlin asked her.

"I'm sure of what I have to do, yes." She smiled at him. "It will be alright. Whatever happens. We'll be alright."

He nodded half-heartedly. "I trust you."

"And that means everything to me. If this really is the last day I get to live, then I will die happier than I've ever been before. Because of you." She pulled away, regretfully, and he let go of her, his hands swinging to his sides. Ryll felt cold all at once and shivered.

She reached out to take his hand, squeezing it to comfort both him and herself. She had squeezed his hand so many times to comfort him or reassure him, but this time it was different. This time it meant something so much more to have him squeeze it back. She felt a little less cold, a little less frightened.

"I can do this," she said.

"I know you can. You're braver than anyone I know," he told her. Ryll leaned forward to kiss him one last time before stepping into the corridor.

They walked in silence, both too nervous to speak. When they reached the doors of the meeting hall, they exchanged one more glance before going in. Everyone was already assembled, awaiting their arrival. Ryll walked straight to the front of the room, bowing to the king respectfully. It was as if the last few minutes hadn't even happened. They felt distant, surreal. She held onto them nonetheless.

"Now then, Arthur tells me the wraith is dead as well as the necromancer. The villagers are improving, and all seems to be well. Tell me what passed in your journey. Obviously you had a few unexpected additions to your party." Uther cast Ryll and Morgana a dark look. "Arthur has told me how you both showed bravery and a sense of duty to Camelot on your journey," he said. "But you were not given permission to join him."

"With all due respect, we wanted to help," Morgana put in.

"This was my responsibility," Ryll added. "Please, let me tell my story." And so she told it, leaving out only Merlin's knowledge of her ring early on and his help with her entering the tournament. She met his eyes when she was finished with her story, finding courage in them. Uther contemplated her words solemnly for a long silent moment.

"You have broken the rules of Camelot by possessing an object of magical powers."

"Father, she did not even know of its powers until-" Arthur cut in, but Uther cut him off with a wave of his hand. Arthur fell silent.

"Not at first, but then she did. She should have brought the truth up at once and had the ring destroyed."

"She was doing no harm with it," Morgana objected.

"Perhaps not, but it still goes against the laws of our kingdom."

"I will take whatever judgment you decide for me," Ryll said, bowing her head. "I am sorry that I didn't tell the truth right away. I was afraid. I never meant any harm."

"I will agree with that – you did no harm. Though the wraith was attached to this ring – you did not know of it. Camelot owes you a great deal. With that in mind, my judgment is this: you will leave Camelot. You are banished henceforth. If you return, I will have no choice but to incarcerate you. You have until dawn."

"What? Father, you can't force her to leave!" Arthur objected loudly.

"She can't leave, this is her home!" Morgana cried out at the same time.

Merlin remained silent, but as Ryll turned to look at him, the look in his eyes said it all. He looked as if someone had died. It broke her heart.

"I accept your judgment," Ryll broke in. "It is fair, and I thank you for sparing my life despite my crimes against Camelot. I love this kingdom and would never wish it any harm." She bowed her head, her face expressionless even though she was dying on the inside. She looked at Arthur and Morgana. "Thank you," she said simply before turning and walking down the long length of the hall.

She did not cry until she reached her room. All the walls she had built up in the last few hours came tumbling down and she broke down, huddled on her bed. She couldn't stop thinking about the look on Merlin's face when he heard her judgment. This was her home. Everything she loved was here. Everyone she loved was here. I don't want to see you die, Ryll. Merlin's words echoed in her head. She couldn't die. For his sake. She might never see him again after tomorrow morning, but he wouldn't have to see her die. She stopped crying, resolving something that would keep her going for many months to come: she would see him again. No matter what it took. She would see him again.