Darkness…
Imprisoning Me…
All That I See…
Absolute Horror
-Metallica, One
She followed a long and dark road through a long and dark tunnel, with no end in sight. The luminescent bulbs had burnt out ages ago, scattering shards of tiny pieces across the ground, the glass cutting sharply into her bare feet. She stumbled over and over crumbled concrete from the tunnel's ceiling. Destroyed vehicles littered nearly every inch of the broken road. Fires crackled in their engines and were her only guide, save for the starlight twinkling quietly above. She was afraid… no… she was terrified… and alone… except for…
Disembodied whispers continually plagued her mind, and she found no relief from them as she clapped her hands over her ears and shouted voicelessly at them to stop.
Glancing down at the rest of her body, she came to the realization that she was naked; the wind that howled through the tunnel, raked her bare skin, and she shivered against the cold as it washed over her like a blanket, threatening to suffocate her.
Memories of places, people and events whisked through her mind, jumbled and confused. They overlapped one another, and she was unable to decipher where one ended and the next one began.
All the while the whispers continued their incessant harassment. The loudest ones screaming at her to turn back. But it wasn't these she listened to… She obeyed the more comforting ones… The whispers that told her to stay strong… to fight… to push forward… The ones that told her she was going to make it…
And still… the louder ones cried at her… Turn back… There is nothing there for you… You won't find anything… Death awaits you there…
But she pushed forward, without even really knowing why…
Finally… after what seemed to be an eternity, she saw, with utter relief, a tiny light on the edge of the horizon… She must be almost near the end…
Her light at the end of a long and dark tunnel…
Dr. Chakwas had been looking over Shepard for the last three hours behind the closed doors of the medbay, presumably checking the status of her implants, skin weaves and overall general health. Liara had entered the room about a half hour ago at Garrus' request, and Admiral Shepard was currently in there as well, overseeing the examination of her daughter.
Every remaining crew member was anxiously waiting outside, uncertainty and trepidation hanging in the air like a thick fog, unable to see where it ended. Whispers of fear and uneasiness travelled through the small crowd and over Garrus' head, as he stood beside Javik, the prothean muttering darkly to himself.
After what seemed to be an eternity, Liara exited the medbay, very noticeably upset over something. Her hands were balled into fists, her biotics crackling around her blue skin.
Garrus' mandibles flared in astonishment; he had never seen Liara so distraught, and it caused the crew, Garrus included, to take half a step backwards.
"Liara? Wha-," he began, but she quickly covered his mouth with her hand. He could feel the static electricity created from her biotics.
"Shh! Not here," she hissed and grabbed him around the wrist, pulling him in the direction of the main battery.
"What is going on Liara?" Garrus protested as she dragged him through the door and punched the lock.
Liara whirled around and came face to face with an extremely confused Garrus and a curious Javik, who had seemingly followed them away from the mess hall.
"Javik?! What in the goddess are you doing?!" she breathed.
"Something is… off… with the Commander…," the prothean replied, crossing his arms. The asari's eyes widened, and she asked, almost relieved, "You it that as well?"
"Yes… I touched her before she was led into the medbay… As you are well aware, I am able to recall experiences through physical contact but what I got from her was… unsettling…," Javik scratched his head, clearly frustrated with his inability to understand the situation. "I couldn't get a read on anything… It was as though she were a blank slate, all of her experiences and personality… who she is… or was… it had all been wiped clean… I do not like this…"
"She wouldn't even let me touch her…," Liara spat angrily. Garrus was startled by this revelation. The two of them had been best friends since their first melding after Shepard had discovered the prothean beacon and rescued Liara. "She shouted at me to leave immediately when I entered and became uncooperative with Chakwas, stamping her feet and huffing and puffing as a child… It wasn't until I said I would go, did she finally settle down."
Garrus shook his head. None of this was making sense. It was as if she was Shepard… but she wasn't… all at the same time…
"Is it possible for her to be a clone?" he asked.
Liara shook her head, "No… If you remember correctly, the only difference between Shepard and her clone were the fingerprints. The clone had to update them in the archives before she locked us all in the iridium vaults… No… The first thing Chakwas did was check her fingerprints against the records we have… They're the same. Though… I almost wish she was a clone, because then we would know what we're dealing with…"
Liara sat down on Garrus' old cot, sighing deeply, as Javik paced back and forth, his hands behind his back. Garrus' heart grew heavy. That Shepard in the medbay was not the same as the one that had pulled him away from the flaming Mako, or that had dragged him to the Normandy under Reaper fire, or the one that had touched his face gently and told him No matter what happens here, you know I love you. I always will. This Shepard had eyed him with such disdain and revulsion that it made his blood run cold and his insides churn. It was almost like she had an underlying hatred for him, for aliens…
"Could Cerberus have brainwashed her?" Garrus asked, a thought suddenly occurring to him. Liara frowned and Javik ceased his pacing.
EDI's blue orb appeared on Garrus' console and flickered at them.
"It is definitely possible," she said matter-of-factly.
"How do you figure?" said Javik, watching the AI suspiciously.
"Cerberus was studying Indoctrination and how to use it to their advantages throughout the Reaper War. The Illusive Man wanted to control the Reapers, and to do that he would have needed to reverse engineer their Indoctrination techniques. What makes you think that they didn't get anywhere with their research? And isn't Indoctrination just another form of brainwashing or mind control?"
"She does have a point," Garrus said, leaning against the wall. "Didn't Miranda say she originally wanted to implant Shepard with a mind control chip when she headed the Lazarus Project?"
"Yes, she did, and Chakwas was planning on doing a brain scan. If there is a chip, it'll show up," said Liara. "I'm still not convinced though. This whole ordeal doesn't sit right with me."
"Nor I," Javik muttered.
Garrus' eyes widened at the prothean, as Liara's mouth hung open in disbelief, and EDI blinked incredulously at him.
"What?" glowered Javik at the three of them.
"I-I can't believe you actually agree with me…," Liara stammered, dumbfounded.
Javik shrugged indifferently, "You have been known to have a few good ideas now and then, T'Soni."
The corners of Liara's mouth turned upward into a small smile. Javik returned the smile in his own rare form, baring his teeth. The result was anything but comforting. In fact, it was more frightening than anything, causing Garrus to snort and EDI to say, "May I suggest that you are better at scowling, Javik?"
Javik responded by balling his fists and stomping out of the main battery, muttering threatening words in his native tongue.
"Ugh, I should probably brief Hackett on all of this," Garrus said bitterly. "In the meantime, EDI does Shepard know you're back up and running?"
"No, and I would prefer to keep it that way… At least for now…," she replied.
"Good… And Liara, if anything changes or if there is even the slightest insight into what is going on, then I want to be the first to know. Got it?"
"Sure thing Garrus,"
The Primarch turned on heel to walk from the battery but stopped in his tracks after he had a final thought, "Any clue on the identity of the two we rescued?"
Liara shook her head, looking slightly defeated, "No. The female turian says her name is Tanaquil, but she has no idea what her clan name is. As for the human female, she's in bad shape, Garrus. Cerberus really did a number on her. Chakwas is keeping her sedated for the time being… for her own safety. So we don't know who she is until we return to the Alliance. We don't have access to that sort of data right now…"
Garrus nodded, not completely satisfied, and strode through the door, leaving Liara alone in the battery.
Not ten minutes later, Garrus found himself in the comm room of the Normandy, standing at the QEC, waiting for Traynor to patch him through directly to Hackett. He leaned heavily on the console in front of him, both hands outstretched and his head between his shoulders. He counted each breath he took, slow and deep breaths. His father had taught him this during his C-Sec training… a breathing exercise to help calm his nerves when things became a bit too overwhelming. Garrus snorted, What a load of crap. No, the crushing sense of everything seemingly gone awry was much more than what a simple breathing exercise could fix. Had it been physically possible, he might have broken down and wept where he stood. He envied humans in this sense, to just be able to release their emotions through tears.
Perhaps Solana had been right; perhaps he had been spending too much time with humans.
"Vakarian?"
Garrus shook himself from his self-indulged stupor and look up to see Hackett's holo directly in front of him.
"Admiral Hackett," he acknowledged feebly. This wasn't going to be a pleasant experience.
"Did you retrieve the Commander?" the Admiral asked, allowing his eagerness to shine through, however prematurely it may have been.
"We did," Garrus responded hesitantly. "But there is something you should know…"
Hackett's relieved smile quickly turned into a perplexed frown, "Garrus?"
Garrus fought to find the right words, but all he found was the look of hatred and disdain Shepard had shot at him; the way she had pulled away from, disgust on the edge of her voice; how her nose had wrinkled in revulsion when he tried to kiss her. It made him want to spew his insides all over the floor, "We… I… She's not entirely… right…"
"What do you mean, 'She's not right'?" said Hackett, suspicion creeping in.
Once again, Garrus emitted a sigh of frustration, "She's not Shepard…"
"Explain then…," ordered Hackett. For the next quarter of an hour, Garrus detailed how they had discovered the location of the Cerberus station. He described the infiltration, how they split up, how they met barely any resistance at all, how Admiral Shepard and Miranda had discovered and rescued the two female prisoners, and how they had found the Commander, fighting off only a handful of mechs. Garrus then went into detail about Shepard's reactions to not only him, but seemingly the rest of the alien crew. He also explained his and Liara's theories as to what exactly was going on, and that he would follow up when he knew more. This was all said as Hackett listened quietly, without interrupting, a blank and stoic expression upon his face.
Concluding his tale, Garrus was even more dismayed and irritated than he had been before. Reliving it a second time was not something he preferred to do.
"I don't like this one bit…," Hackett whispered. Garrus exhaled a breath of relief, thrilled that the head of the Alliance military was on the same page he was.
"Keep things as normal as possible," Hackett continued. "To retain a steady balance and to not step on any toes until we figure out what the hell is going on, Admiral Shepard is the acting officer aboard that vessel. How long until you return?"
"Three days and we'll be back in the Sol System," said Garrus.
"Good, I'll meet the Normandy at the relay, and we'll sort this whole fiasco out."
Garrus nodded his understanding.
"And Vakarian? In the meantime, keep your head down and your nose clean. Don't let your personal feelings of the Commander cloud your judgment. We'll get to the bottom of this. Hackett out."
The Admiral's holo disappeared and the QEC grew dark.
Easier said than done..., Garrus thought darkly.
Updated 6/7/14