Hey guys, sorry it didn't update last night!
but here's the next chapter!
enjoy!
O.o.O.o.O
Jace POV
Jace sat beside Clary's hospital bed, clasping her cold hand. The steady beeping of monitors filling the sterile, white room. Izzy had came in several times in the past 4 days that they where allowed in. But she could never last more than 10 minutes without breaking down and leaving the room. Jace understood how she felt, but he couldn't bring himself to leave Clary's side.
Jocelyn sat on the other side of Clary, clasping her other hand. Emma, Jules, Simon, Magnus and Alec had come and gone, crying every time they entered, but Emma, Izzy, Jules and Simon weren't allowed to stick around a lot now that Clary was allowed visitors. Magnus had to work, in the hospital ironically, but not in the same ward, so he stopped by every couple of hours. Alec came before and after work, kissing her forehead in a brotherly gesture of love and swept his silent tears away before leaving.
Over the past few days Jace had observed a lot of the others. Alec was like a brother to Clary. The way he kissed her forehead and squeezing her shoulders, also the way he looked at her, with love and compassion. Magnus obviously cared about Clary, but it was hard to tell how he entered the picture in her life so much. Sure him and Alec were engaged and obviously he was apart of the family, but it seemed more than that. Magnus looked at Clary like he needed to help her, but couldn't. Jace understood that because he felt the same, but it strode father than that.
On Saturday, around 10pm Magnus entered the room, doing what he usually did. He came in and kissed Clary in cheek, whispering something in her ear, stood there for a few minutes, before leaving. This time Jace followed him out.
"Magnus!" Jace called out, his voice hoarse from not speaking much.
Magnus turned. It was weird not seeing Magnus as he usually was, with spiked hair and glitter and colourful extravagant clothes. He now wore scrubs with a white coat over the top. His hair free of gel and tied at the nape of his neck. His eyes, body, clothes free of glitter. He looked...professional.
"Jace." Magnus said, some what surprised.
Jace walked up the Magnus.
"I know this may seem odd of me asking but, I was wondering how you knew Clary so well. I mean, I understand with Alec and all but it seems, I don't know, deeper then that..." Jace said, grating his teeth together.
"Don't do that with your teeth, no good for them," Magnus said tapping Jace's jaw, "well yes, obviously I know her through Alec, but also, every time she got, uh, hurt by her father she would come to the Lightwoods for refuge. One night I was there and I saw the mess she was in. At first she was reluctant for me to even see her, yet help her. But she gave in and let me. I cleaned up her back-it's the doctor in me-and after the first time she was embarrassed and didn't say a word. Over time she begun to trust me, and our friendship grew. I care about her very dearly and hate to see her in the situation she's in right now and not to be able to do anything. It hurts me even though I know there's nothing more that can be done. It does rest in her hands."
Jace chuckled humourlessly, "hearing people say that makes me even more worried i'll loss her." Jace said.
Magnus frowned, "I know. But she's loves us all very much. You a lot, I'm sure. And if she's standing around looking down at her body, watching us weep over her, I'm sure she'll choose what's right for her. I'm sure it hurts her a lot to see us hurt, but she's hurting herself, and she needs to figure out what's right for herself." Magnus said.
With that he turned and walked down the brightly lit halls, disappearing into the white.
Jace sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, he went back to Clary's room. He sat down next to her bed in his usual spot, taking her hand in his and fiddling with her ring. The diamonds and rubies catching in the light. It looked so bright against her usual light tanned skin, but down her skin near white, it stood out. Jace reached over and pulled her necklace out from under her hospital gown and rested it over the top.
Jace looked up to her closed eye lids. What he would give to see her bright emerald eyes one last time. They had taken the respirator off Clary as she could now breath fully by herself. But her usual pink, plump lips where thinned and were a shade of pale pink now.
It brought tears to Jace's eyes, seeing her so white. Her usual life filled body, lifeless and limp. He clasped her hand hard, kissing her hand, over and over, silent tears falling. Not much had happened in the past four days, except for Clary's progress in breathing.
Jocelyn was definitely asleep, so he leaned close to her ear.
"I love you so much, Angel. I understand the battle your probably fighting. I just need you to know how much everyone here depends on you, especially me. I'm not asking you to live for me, but for everyone. We're all your family. Forget about your father and brother that abandoned you. You have a mother out here that loves you dearly, and needs you to know that. You have Izzy and Emma out here that are your sisters. Simon and Jules who are two of your bestest friend, who also love you like a sister. Alec who is your brother, and Magnus, well I'm not sure how to express him, but he loves you dearly as well. Your family is here. And Magnus said something that really sunk through to me, your hurting, not just us. But you, yourself, your hurting. Your feeling so many things, and you need to figure out what's right for you. I understand that, as I'm sure everyone else does. But I need you to know, how much I need you to be alright. I love you, my Angel. You are mine, and I am yours, forever and always. Not even death will part us, I will always love you. Just remember that while your deciding for yourself." Jace told her, kissing her lips softly and settling down back beside her.
He thought he imagined it at first. He felt a small amount of pressure on his hand. He looked down and saw Clary's finger tightening, the tiniest bit on his.
"Clary."
Clary's POV
Clary wasn't quite sure where she was. She kept seeing flashes of her own body, bandaged, pale and lifeless laying on a hospital bed. Flashes of her body bloody and broken in her crushed car. Flashes of her friends, family and Jace crying and screaming. Jace.
Clary was stuck in darkness for most of the time. She knew what had happened, she had ran the red light and hurt herself. She had planned to kill herself, now she's wasn't so sure.
On some level she heard voices speaking to her familiar voices, telling her they need her, they loved her. She felt Alec press his lips to her forehead. Izzy grabbed her hand tightly, while weeping and asking her to stay. Emma entering soundlessly, but whispering in Clary's ear. Simon and Jules crying and kissing her softly. Magnus telling her to be strong. Her mom by her side, talking to her.
But most of all, Jace. She couldn't see anything right now, but she could feel him clasping her right hand, playing with her ring, her mother holding her other hand. She felt the soft kisses he gave her. But now, all these words following through her. At first it was hard to make them out, but she concentrated hard on hearing what he was saying. And when she did, she wanted to weep, to throw herself at him and reassure him. She could feel his tears dripping onto her cold skin.
'I love you so much, Angel.'
'Everyone here depends on you, especially me.'
'Izzy, Emma, Jules, Simon, Alec, Magnus, your mother, me'
'Your family is here.'
'Figure out what's right for you.'
'Your hurting.'
'You are mine, and I am yours.'
'Forever and Always.'
'My Angel.'
The small sentences that meant the most ran through her. She needed to let Jace know she was here, that she was fighting for him, for her family. She put all her effort into some movement, anything to let him know.
She tried to open her eyes and failed. She tried saying or making any sound at all, and failed. At last she focused all her energy into her hand, her right hand. She squeezed every bit if energy into that hand, trying hard to let him know. When she thought she had failed, Jace let her know she hadn't.
"Clary." He whispered barely audible, filled with the most love she had ever heard.
She relaxed in relief, giving into her already worn body and let the blankness, and silence consume her once again.
Jace POV
It was Sunday around 1pm, and there was no other signs of Clary waking up, then the moment they shared last night. Jace had battled whether or not to tell anyone, even the doctors. He finally had. He told Jocelyn first, then everyone else, then the doctors. The doctors said it was a good sign, but said no more.
He was starting to get restless and refused to let go of Clary's hand, in hope she'd wake up, or squeeze his hand again. He needed her too. So he pushed away all of discomfort on the boney armchair, which the nurses finally graciously gave him a pillow so he could rest when they realised he wasn't moving.
Jocelyn went home to pack a bag for Clary in case she woke up. Jace was hopeful on her waking up soon, but he was worried. Clary wouldn't be aloud to come home straight away. He knew that. Jocelyn kept saying she wouldn't let them drag her off to a mental institution and Jace hoped she could stop that from happening. That was the last thing Clary's needed.
Izzy entered the room and stood next to Jace looking at Clary.
"Shouldn't you be at school?" Jace asked.
"I could ask you the same thing..." Izzy said with some of her old attitude.
Jace smiled slightly at that.
"Yeah I should be. My parents send me there day after day, but I can't focus on one single thing. It feels like everyone is speaking in some alien language. I know Simon, Em and Jules feel the same, but they carry on like I do. Today, I just gave up, stood up in the middle of class, walked out with all eyes on me and came straight here. I can't keep pretending I'm alright when my best friends-my sister is in a hospital bed, in coma." Izzy said, her voice tight.
Jace knew without even looking at her that Izzy was crying, so he reached out with his spare hand and squeezed her hand. She squeezed back before he let go.
"She'll be alright." Jace whispered.
"I know. I just don't want her to push us away again. I don't care what she says this time, I'm not leaving her alone."
"Neither am I. I don't care what she says, I'm not leaving her side. I'll stitch her to my hip if I must."
Izzy laughed, "I'm glad we agree there then."
She went around to the other side of Clary and sat in the spare chair Jocelyn usually occupied. And they sat there in silence. But not a lonely, sad silence which filled hospitals, a hope, and love filled silence.
It was around 7pm when Jace's mom entered the room. She was weary, and tensed up when she saw Clary. His mom had come and visited a few times, but never stayed long. She just came to make sure Jace was alright and updates on Clary.
Jackie walked over to Jace and kissed his forehead before kissing Clary's and smiling sadly at her. She stood there for a while, before telling Jace to eat and ring her if Clary woke up.
It was quiet the rest of the night. Izzy left because her parents showed up and practically dragged her out. Simon, Jules and Emma showed up together, but left soon after. Alec and Magnus did their usual routine, but Jocelyn hadn't shown back up.
Jace tried to make himself comfortable in the highly uncomfortable armchair, while still holding Clary's hand. Sleep was light, he kept awakening and rearranging himself. When he finally drifted into a somewhat alright sleep, he felt something drag him out of it. A voice. A movement. A touch.
He heard it again.
"Jace."
The one thing he didn't think he'd hear for a while. But he heard it again.
"Jace."
But the one thing that truly woke him,
"Jacey."
He bolted upright instantly. His eyes looked at the sight of not him holding Clary's hand but Clary's hand holding his. His eyes travelled up and met the sight of his favourite emerald eyes. They were somewhat glazed over, but emerald. Jace felt frozen in the moment. She was awake. Awake.
Her eyes blinked slowly, somewhat sleepily. Everything was moving in slow motion for him.
"Angel! Oh, Angel!" Jace whispered, sitting on the bed beside her.
Her eyes darted over his face frantically, her hand holding his hand as tight as she could manage.
"Come here." She whispered, her voice hoarse.
He instantly enclosed her, as light as he could with a hug, then kissed her lips softly, looking back into her eyes, their faces only inches apart. He put his palms on both of her cheeks, trying to give his warmth to her.
"Oh God, Angel. I love you. I love you so much." Jace said, choking up.
Somehow, she smiled a small smile, "did Jace Herondale just choke? It's unheard of."
He laughed slightly as his tears fell onto her cheeks, "I've missed your smart ass sarcasm."
"Of course you did. It's my best quality." She said.
"And hear I thought I was the one was the egotistical one in this relationship." He said, kissing her nose.
"Aren't I allowed even a little bit of ego. Come on, look at me." She said, raising her arms slightly, wincing.
Jace winced with her, it hurt him to see her hurt, "you look fine."
"Don't lie to me. I can always tell when your lying." Clary said, her emerald eyes disarming him.
He sighed, "your still beautiful to me."
"How can you say that?"
"Because I love you."
She smiled slightly, "I love you too." She whispered.
"Angel, why?" She asked, cupping her face in his hands.
"Why, what?" She whispered, looking confused.
"Why'd you crash your car?" He whispered, tears wheeling up in his eyes.
Clary face scrunched up, "I didn't. It was an accident." She whispered.
"W-what?" Jace asked, sitting on the side of her bed, brushing a curl behind her ear.
"It-it was an accident. I was an idiot and drove while I was angry and upset, but it was an accident. I was reaching for my phone, but couldn't see it, so I looked over for a second and the next thing I knew I smashed straight into a tree." She said, sliding her hand into his.
"Why were you reaching for your phone?" Jace asked.
"I wanted to call you..." She whispered, looking away.
Jace's breath caught, "Clary..." He whispered, looking at the floor.
"But it's not your fault Jace. It's my fault! I'm the one who looked off the road, but I swear I wasn't trying to kill myself." She said, squeezing his hand.
He nodded, "okay." He said.
"Jace...as much as I'd like to sit here and talk, I'm in a lot of pain." Clary groaned.
Jace jumped off the bed, "I'm sorry, Angel!" He said, then called for the nurses.
The nurses came rushing in.
"Before they knock me out again or give me some psychedelic drug, I love you, Jacey. Thank you for talking to me, even when you weren't sure if I was listening." She said, smiling at him.
He was going to ask him what she meant but the nurses entered. They seemed shocked so see Clary awake, but quickly got to work. They adjusted tubes and needles, taking most out, leaving a few in each arm, and inject liquids into 2 of them. They adjusted her legs with the casts on them, and spoke quickly to each other.
Clary looked confused but entranced watching them work so quickly, Jace felt the same way. They weren't exactly expecting her to wake up yet, their looks said that, but they knew exactly what to do.
Clary eyes became even more glazed and she took on a giddy expression before passing out. The nurses left murmuring to Jace about a doctor coming in, in the morning.
It was only 2am, so Jace settled back down, holding Clary's hand, but not because he needed to feel if she woke up, but because he knew she was awake, that she was okay, and to reassure her, even in her drugged out state that he was here, with her.
O.o.O.o.O
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