A/N: Hello, everybody! The faves, follows and reviews have really been amazing. I am trying to respond to all of your reviews. I know I still have a few out there, but if I end up missing yours, I promise it isn't on purpose. I'm just up to my eyeballs in RL responsibilities at the mo. Speaking of which, the next two weeks (May 19-June 1) will likely see a slowdown (but hopefully, not a stop) in postings. Once my schedule gets back to normal, postings should be back to twice a week.
Other developments—I'm working on a "Five to Twelve" songlist over on spotify. It's still a WIP, but if you're interested, come find me there. I'm under the name GraphiteGirl, natch.
As always, thanks to my betas, dandelionsunset and evilgrinstar.
Chapter 22-sundries
Katniss watched Peeta sleep for a few moments, then picked up the last candle and walked into the bedroom she shared with Prim. "How is he?" Prim whispered.
"Sleeping," Katniss replied. She sat down on the bed. Prim, who was already in her nightgown, pulled her knees up to her chin to make room for her sister. Katniss glanced down at Prim's feet and saw that Prim had blisters on her heels and the tops of her toes.
"What happened to your feet, Prim?"
Prim sighed. "My shoes are getting too small."
"Since when? Why didn't you tell me, Prim?"
"I don't know, the last few weeks, maybe? And I didn't want to tell you because I was hoping I could make these last to the end of school, and then I'll just go barefoot over the summer."
"You'll do no such thing! You spend your entire summer following Mom from sickbed to sickbed. She won't let you do that in bare feet. We'll get you new shoes. What about your dresses?"
Prim looked at the floor, clearly upset. "They'll probably last to the end of school, but they're getting a little too short."
"Prim, this is a good thing! It means you're growing like you should." The very fact that they lived in District Twelve meant that Prim had gone hungry far too often, but Katniss had worked hard over the years to make sure that Prim had enough to eat. This often meant that Katniss would give Prim slightly larger helpings, or would skip her own meals in favor of the food going to Prim. Her sacrifices were beginning to pay off. Prim was much taller at the age of 12 than Katniss had been at 14.
Prim's lower lip started to tremble. "I'm not blind, Katniss," she sniffled. "I know that every time I've needed new clothes and shoes, you've taken out tesserae."
"Well, that's my own fault. If I dressed and behaved like a regular girl, you'd have a whole closet of hand-me-downs." Like most of the girls in the District, Prim wore dresses. Katniss never had, and she often wore out her clothing before she outgrew them. Usually, she sold her old clothes as scrap cloth to Ripper's sister, who used it to make braided rugs she traded in the Hob.
Katniss changed into her nightgown and brushed her hair and teeth, silently calculating the cost of shoes and clothes. She could get used dresses for Prim at the Hob, but they were going to have to visit the shoemaker for Prim's shoes.
She also took a mental tally of the other things they likely needed—medical supplies for her mother, tea, salt, tallow...as the list grew, Katniss' heart sank a little. Prim was right. She was going to have to take out another tesserae.
Because her birthday fell on the 8th of May, Katniss could sign for tesserae on the 8th of every month. April 8th was the day after tomorrow. She would then have at least eighteen slips in the Reaping bowl. Katniss hoped that the band would start getting jobs to play soon. She'd taken out tesserae every single birthday since she'd turned twelve. It would be nice if she didn't have to this year.
She climbed into bed with Prim and they blew out their candles. "Prim, do you think Peeta's going to be OK?" Katniss worried.
"Probably. Mom seems to think so, anyway. If she really thought he was going to die, she would have sent him home." Then she snuggled up close to Katniss and said, "What happened this morning with Peeta?"
"I took him to the woods, but he was in such bad shape that I brought him back here."
"I don't mean that, Katniss. I mean, you've never held hands or run your fingers through the hair of any of Mom's patients before." Katniss detected a slightly superior tone in Prim's voice.
Katniss took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "He said he's cared about me for a long time."
"Told ya. So what did you say?"
"Mostly, I just cried."
"A cute boy tells you he likes you, and you cry?"
"I wasn't crying because he said he liked me, I was crying because of his drawing."
"What drawing?"
So, in her stumbling way, Katniss told Prim what she and Peeta had talked about that morning. This required Katniss to explain about the burned bread, and the beating, and how Katniss felt like she owed their lives to Peeta.
The sisters had rolled over onto their sides, facing each other, as Katniss told her story. When she finished with, "and now I'm really confused about the whole thing," Prim tapped her chin for a moment.
"I understand how you feel about not wanting to owe people," of course Prim understood, she was Seam, "but I agree with Peeta on this one. You've more than repaid back your debt to him. Besides, now we're taking care of him so it all comes full circle."
"I hadn't thought about it like that," Katniss said. "But still, he took a beating—on purpose—because of me."
"No. He took a beating because his mother's an unholy witch," Prim argued. "That's all on her, Katniss. Not you."
"Well," Katniss hesitated, "I still feel responsible, though."
Prim rolled her eyes. "Of course, you do. Anyway, enough about his mother. How do you feel about Peeta?"
Katniss thought about it for a moment. She realized she'd been asking herself the same question all day. For a few days, really, but her thoughts jumbled up when it came to Peeta. "I'm not sure. It was a little disturbing to hear him say he'd been watching me for all these years."
"You've been watching him, too, Katniss. I told you yesterday, I've seen it myself. Now I just know why."
"Oh. That's true." She had been keeping an eye on the boy with the bread over the years.
"Was he a creep or anything this morning?" Prim interrupted Katniss' thoughts.
"No, he wasn't. He was very considerate, actually. He was in a lot of pain, but he mostly worried about me." Katniss did not tell Prim that Peeta had spent so much time holding her, nor did she mention how safe she had felt in his arms. "I asked him if we were friends now, and he said we were whatever I wanted us to be."
"What do you want you two to be?"
"Just friends."
"Do you want to kiss him?" Prim asked.
"No. I'm not ready for that yet." If nothing else, Katniss was sure about that.
"Do you want other girls to kiss him?"
"What other girls?" Katniss snapped.
Prim giggled, "Any other girls, Katniss. If you really want to be 'just friends,' it shouldn't bother you if he sees other people. So—do you want other girls to kiss him?"
Katniss scowled at her little sister.
Prim gave her a satisfied little smile and said, "Imagine Delly Cartwright running her fingers through Peeta's hair like you were doing earlier."
Katniss did not like this image at all. She put her hand over her eyes and groaned. "All right, all right. I like him. That doesn't mean he should like me back. He deserves somebody nicer than me."
Prim thought about that for a moment, before answering, "No, I don't see that. Peeta doesn't want nice. His dad's nice, and look at the shape Peeta is in."
"Mr. Mellark isn't nice, he's weak," Katniss argued. "Besides, Peeta's popular. What's he going to do, quit his circle of friends just to be with me?"
"Probably," Prim replied, but Katniss plowed on.
"You should see his drawings, Prim. They are so amazing. He had one of me and Daddy. He offered it to me, but I don't know how Mom would take it if she saw it. Honestly, a lot of what he said today still doesn't make any sense to me," she admitted. "He thinks he's been a coward all these years."
"Well," Prim let out a huge yawn, "people usually don't see themselves for who they really are, Katniss." She closed her eyes, curled up against her sister, and fell asleep.
Katniss snuggled Prim and pulled the extra blanket around them, grateful for its' warmth. The long day finally caught up with her. She pushed all of her questions about Peeta Mellark out of her head, and was asleep within minutes.
Katniss woke up before dawn with her bladder complaining. She lit a candle and walked to the bathroom. She glanced at Peeta as she passed him. He looked OK, but she would check on him when she was done.
After going to the bathroom and washing her hands, Katniss took extra care to brush the tangles out of her hair. She let it fall around her shoulders in thick, glossy waves. She left the bathroom, walked quietly over to Peeta's cot, and placed the candle on the end table. She tucked his blankets around him, even though she didn't really need to. She ran her fingers through his hair for good measure, even though she didn't really need to do that, either.
She hadn't meant to wake him, though, not really. His eyes blinked open and he stared at her in confusion. "I'm so sorry, Peeta, I didn't mean to wake you up. I was just checking on you" she said quietly.
He reached out with one hand and ran it through her hair. "You really here, Katniss?" he whispered. His eyes closed again.
"Yes, I'm really here. Do you need anything?"
"Kiss," he said. A sly smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He was teasing her, even in his drug-addled state. But after a moment, his face relaxed back into sleep.
Katniss left him sleeping and put water on the stove for tea. She grabbed pen and paper, and went to the pantry to make a list of what they needed. Her mother came into the kitchen, hugged her and wished her good morning. Then she said, "I'm going to wake Peeta up and help him to the bathroom, so you should go get changed. It wouldn't do for Peeta to see you in that."
Katniss looked down at herself. "Why not?" she asked. Her flannel nightshirt came to just above her ankles, and was extremely modest.
"Because it isn't proper for a young man to see a girl in her nightclothes."
Too late, thought Katniss, but she didn't argue. Instead, she took her candle back into her room and got quietly dressed. She woke up Prim, then headed back into the kitchen. Peeta was sitting on their table again, and Rosemary was pressing into his back with her fingertips. Peeta's eyes were closed and his lips were pressed together in a thin, white line. He swayed just a little. "Don't pass out on me, Peeta. Katniss, make sure Peeta doesn't fall, please," Rosemary ordered.
Katniss stood in front of Peeta and let him lean into her. He rested his head on her shoulder, and she could see that much of his back had turned black and blue. "How are you feeling?" she asked him.
"Peachy," he mumbled into her neck.
Rosemary completed her examination and said, "I think I can safely say that your kidney is bruised, not punctured or cut. There's much less blood in your urine today than there was yesterday, but there's still more than I'd like to see before you're up and about. Let's get some more fluids into you."
Katniss helped him off the table. Her hand slid across his chest, making her hyper-aware of the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt. She felt herself blush, and was grateful that her mother's back was turned.
Peeta sat down carefully at the table just as Prim walked in, dressed for school. She looked at Peeta's back and went into her own version of "healer mode." She peppered him with questions and inspected all of his injuries. Katniss and Rosemary shared a small smile with each other; Prim took healing very seriously.
Katniss prepared broth for Peeta and more water for tea. Rye arrived with fresh bread and muffins. Katniss supposed this was partial payment to her mother for treating Peeta. She was glad to see it. Her mom never turned away a patient, but many of them simply could not afford to pay her.
Prim squealed and hugged Rye around the waist just like she had with Peeta when he gave her cookies. Rye looked delighted and hugged her back. Peeta was smiling broadly at the scene and Katniss was once again struck with the idea that these boys received little to no affection at home.
Katniss gave Peeta his broth, then packed lunch for herself and Prim while everybody else ate breakfast. Rye hung out in the kitchen. After a few minutes of small talk, he addressed Peeta. "So, I talked to Bannock last night and told him you needed to talk to him."
"And?" Peeta was trying to keep his expression neutral but Katniss could see the anxiety in his eyes.
"And he whined like a two year old about coming into the Seam, but Nikki told him if he didn't come talk to you, she would, and I quote, 'waddle mah fat ay-ass out there and give birth to yer baby while I talk ta yer little brother.' So he's coming with me tonight." Rye imitated a very thick southern drawl when he imitated his sister-in-law.
The addition of two almost-grown men made the small kitchen feel a little crowded. Even with Peeta's injuries keeping him subdued, the boys were much noisier than the Everdeens were used to having. But Katniss found she didn't mind—it was almost cozy.
The arrival of Gale, Rory and Vick signaled it was time to leave. Katniss said goodbye to her mother and to Peeta. She was about to leave when she heard Peeta call out, "Katniss."
Katniss turned around to find that Peeta was holding out a muffin for her. "You didn't eat any breakfast. Take it with you."
Katniss looked at it longingly, but thought about shoes, dresses, tea and salt. "Thanks, but I'll be OK until lunch."
"I won't be if you don't eat. Take it," he pleaded.
Rosemary looked up from the stove. "Katniss, eat. We have plenty of food for a few days."
Katniss took the muffin and smiled at Peeta. "Thank you, Peeta." He looked happy. Pale and bruised, but happy.
Rye, Prim and the Hawthorne brothers were waiting for her outside. "Did Peeta kiss you goodbye?" Prim asked excitedly.
"Yeah, Prim, he stood up with all his injuries, and planted one on me right in front of Mom." Gale and Rye laughed, but Prim looked disappointed. "Of course he didn't kiss me, Prim. He just gave me breakfast, is all." Katniss indicated the muffin in her hand. She took a bite—cinnamon and apples. Oh, I could get used to having a baker in the house, Katniss thought. She all but inhaled the rest of the muffin.
Rory, Vick and Prim quickly broke off and walked ahead of the older teens. Rye, Gale and Katniss made small talk, all of them avoiding the topic of Peeta's injuries. As they got close to school, Gale said he'd meet Katniss in the woods after school for hunting. Rye told Katniss he'd see her after dinner. They all parted ways.
As she walked to class, Katniss found herself wishing she could walk back home and check on Peeta, but she knew he was in good hands with her mother. She got to her desk, sat down and tried very hard to quit thinking about the boy with the bread.