-25-

The scene seemed to play out in slow motion. Lancelot gently set Ryll on the ground, his brow screwed up in worry. The image of Lancelot holding Ryll kept replaying over and over in Merlin's mind. Then he came to his senses. He ran forward, kneeling down beside Ryll.

"What happened?" he asked Lancelot. That was most important even though hundreds of questions were flooding his mind.

"We were practicing with our swords pretty hard. And then the surprise of seeing you." Lancelot looked up at him. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Ryll is in danger," Merlin said in a rush.

"What kind of danger?" Lancelot asked warily. "From Uther?"

"Not Uther." Merlin looked down at Ryll, really looked at her for the first time. Her blue eyes were closed and her golden hair was splayed across her face. Merlin fought the impulse to brush her hair away from her face. "We should get her inside," he suggested.

"Of course." Lancelot pulled Ryll into his arms, and Merlin bit back a stab of jealousy. Lancelot was his friend. He wished him happiness despite the hole that was growing in his heart. It was just a shock. Had Ryll forgotten him already? As he followed Lancelot into the cottage, he realized that someone as beautiful and incredible as Ryll belonged in the arms of a man like Lancelot. He was brave and noble and handsome, nothing like Merlin. Why would Ryll choose a servant over a knight? But she chose you over a prince…

Lancelot lay Ryll down on a narrow cot close to the fireplace. "I'll get a fire going," Merlin offered. There was a stack of wood next to the hearth as well as a flint. He stacked the wood in the fireplace but used magic to light the fire. Lancelot knew of his gift so he was in no danger.

"Thanks." Lancelot grabbed a clean cloth and dipped it in a bucket of cool water before dabbing Ryll's face with it.

The fire sparked to life just as Ryll groaned. Her blue eyes opened, instantly searching him out. "Merlin. What on earth are you doing here?" she asked hoarsely in an almost accusatorial tone.

"Arthur and Morgana are here too," Merlin rushed to say.

"Why? Did you miss me that much?" She smiled wryly. They both knew the answer to that. "How did you even find me?"

"It's a long story."

Ryll sat up and Lancelot sat next to her, setting down the damp cloth. Merlin tried to ignore the familiarity the two shared. Their shoulders brushed but they didn't seem to notice. "We aren't going anywhere," Ryll said. Her words struck truer than she knew.

"Morgana overheard two men speaking in the town square – two noblemen who had fought in the tournament. They weren't happy that you'd beaten them. They wanted revenge."

"Oh, good heavens," Ryll interjected. "Men and their pride." She left off the fact that she had entered the tournament as a matter of pride. And look where it had gotten her.

"They were plotting to kill you!" Merlin insisted. Ryll should be taking this seriously.

"And I assume they found a way to track me and that you also found a way to track me otherwise you wouldn't be here." Ryll sounded somber now. Merlin knew she prided herself on her ability not only to track but to cover her tracks as well.

"They had a map that required the blood of the person you were trying to track."

"They had my blood? Now this is getting personal."

"I guess you bled on one of them when you were fighting him."

"Inconvenient."

"You're not taking this seriously!" When had he gotten angry? Ryll narrowed her eyes.

"On the contrary. I just think I'm more than a match for them. And I have Lancelot." She looked sideways at him. "Speaking of, thanks for carrying me in." She glanced hesitantly at Merlin who nodded toward Lancelot. "I was just so shocked to see you. And we might have worn ourselves out too much," she aimed the last comment at Lancelot. "I'm ashamed, really. I leave fainting to the other girls."

"We all have our moments of weakness," Lancelot consoled her.

"How did you two meet?" Merlin had to ask.

"Well," Ryll began, "in the forest just south of here. We were both wandering around with nowhere to go. After we realized the connection we shared to Camelot, we decided to travel together. It just made sense. We decided to give a normal life a try hence the house. How did you find it anyway? Does the map give a street address as well as a town?" She quirked her lip. Merlin fought back the urge to smile.

"I asked the blacksmith and he told me where to come. And that it was a married couple who had moved in."

Ryll's eyes widened for a moment but Merlin couldn't read the expression.

"We needed a story," Lancelot put in. "We're not really married." He laughed and Ryll joined in.

"We didn't meet that long ago. We're still getting to know each other. We just figured people would be less suspicious of us if we acted the part." She turned her eyes to Merlin.

It would be so easy to give into his feelings. So easy and so tempting. But after this was all over, he'd be going back to Camelot and Ryll would have to stay here. That wasn't about to change soon.

"Well, I'm glad you found each other," he said.

"Yes," Ryll replied, her eyes darkening. "Exile can be lonely. Four months with no one to talk to but squirrels begins to wear on the mind."

"I'm glad I'm a step up from squirrels," Lancelot said.

"A big step up; you actually talk back." Ryll smirked.

Merlin watched the exchange, wishing so much that she were smirking at him, bantering with him, even looking at him. This was more painful than he imagined. She wasn't even acting as if there had been something between them. He remembered her words minutes before her departure. I can't tell you I love you because we can't be together. He remembered the pain he'd felt when he realized she was right. Promise me you'll move on with your life, she'd said. He should have said that he wouldn't. He wasn't going to move on that easily, but instead he'd said 'I promise' as if he could ever hold to such a promise.

"It's not Camelot," Ryll said suddenly, drawing Merlin's attention back to the room. She was watching him, her eyes guarded. "But it's home now."

"Did the men track Ryll this far?" Lancelot brought the topic back to why Merlin was really here.

"I don't think so. I stole their map while they were sleeping. They didn't see it marking Meldoran."

"Meldoran is the only village within miles of here though," Ryll put in. "They'll come here even if it's just to stay at the inn." Her words hung in the air.

"Then what if they come looking for you?" Merlin asked.

"Then I'll fight them off." She said it as if it were as easy as chiding some errant child.

"I won't let anything happen to her," Lancelot added softly.

"I'll stay too," Merlin said.

"What about Arthur and Morgana? They have responsibilities, as do you. Who knows when these men will show up? Maybe they won't. Maybe they'll bypass Meldoran altogether. You can't just wait around to protect me. No offense, Merlin, but you can't even wield a sword."

He knew she didn't mean any harm but the words cut him. He could easily protect himself – much better than she could protect herself with a sword. He said nothing.

"You can't stay here, Merlin. And I can't go back with you," Ryll said gently.

"We came all this way."

"To warn me. And I thank you for that. Tomorrow I'll thank Morgana and Arthur and rejoice that I get to see my friends once more, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm in exile and you have a life in Camelot."

As if sensing the change in mood, Lancelot stood, telling them he needed to collect their swords from outside before someone ran off with them. Ryll watched him leave, her eyes distant.

"I don't want to leave you again," Merlin said before he could stop himself. "I don't want to live through that heartbreak again." Ryll didn't meet his eyes. "Look at me," he pleaded. She turned her blue eyes on him and he could see the sorrow in them.

"And you think my heart isn't breaking too?"

"I'm not sure. You seem so happy here."

"Merlin, I'm trying to make the best of the situation. My home was and will always be Camelot, but I'm not welcome there anymore so I have to find somewhere else to call home. Here is as good as anywhere."

"So you're just moving on?"

"Yes because that's what we have to do."

"What if I stayed?"

"We've been over this already. Your life is there. What would Arthur do without you anyway? He wouldn't be able to get dressed properly. He'd have to walk around in his nightclothes and he'd probably starve. I doubt he could find his way to the kitchens."

Merlin cracked a smile at this. "That's probably true."

"Just because we can't have a life together doesn't mean we never have to see each other again. Look at us now. It's only been four months and we've already met up unexpectedly. But you can't always be looking back. I don't want to hold you back."

"You could never hold me back-"

"You haven't let go of me, and that's holding you back," Ryll interrupted.

Merlin knew what she was saying was true but that didn't mean he wanted to hear it. She was calm, accepting even as if she had already moved on. Maybe she had. He felt the same insecurity he had felt earlier. He wasn't good enough for her. No wonder she had moved on so quickly. He shook those thoughts from his head. Ryll would never think such things. She had befriended him just as she had befriended Arthur because that was the sort of person she was. She befriended everyone. No wonder Lancelot had been drawn to her. Merlin could only imagine their surprise at finding their connection to Camelot. They had been banished for nearly the same reason – wanting to become knights but not being of noble blood or, in Ryll's case, being a girl.

"Tomorrow I'll see Arthur and Morgana and then you'll all go back to Camelot. I'll take care of the men who are after me. They won't kill me, Merlin. People set on revenge are clumsy, and now I know they're after me. I can lay low for awhile if that makes you feel better, but you can't put your life on hold. I can take care of myself, you know I can."

"I know."

"Then I'll wish you goodnight." She stood. Merlin let her lead him to the door. "It really was good seeing you," she said before he left.

"Even if you fainted from the shock of it."

Ryll rolled her eyes. "That was from fighting someone who actually matches me in skill."

"Don't let Arthur hear you saying that."

Ryll smiled. "Alright, he's very skilled as well. But I could have beat him if I'd really tried."

"I'm sure you could have."

"Goodnight, Merlin."

"Goodnight." He left, refusing to look back though he could feel Ryll's gaze on him. He'd see her again tomorrow and then he'd go back to Camelot and live his life without her. It seemed impossible. Everyday he would miss her smile and her laugh, the way she stood up to Arthur and always fought so passionately for the things she believed in. But over time the pain would ebb and it would get a little easier to live without those things. Life would go back to the way it was before she had walked into his life – or rather, before he had carried her into the physician's quarters with an arrow sticking out of her side. In that moment when he'd held her, she'd been so helpless and he'd wanted to do everything he could to save her. In the end, it turned out she didn't need his help. She could look out for herself just as she had said. But it didn't stop him for wanting to look out for her all the same.

…

After Ryll shut the door, she leaned her back against it, shutting her eyes for a moment while she composed herself. That has been difficult and unexpected. To be perfectly honest with herself, she hadn't ever expected to see him again. It would have been easier not to have seen him again.

She opened to her eyes and went over to the cot where she'd been sitting. She stared into the fire until her eyes began to water. The threat on her life seemed like nothing compared to the heartbreak she'd just had to relive all over again. She put her head in her hands, feeling a headache coming on.

She heard the door open and then close as Lancelot returned. Metal clanked on the table as he lay their swords down. There was silence and then he asked, "Are you alright?"

She shook her head, not lifting it from her hands. She felt him kneel in front of her, placing a hesitant hand on her shoulder. "It just brought back memories," she finally said. "Memories that make it hard to be happy here."

"Something happened between you and Merlin, didn't it?" he asked.

She blinked, finally dropping her hands to look up at him. She hadn't counted on him being so insightful. "What makes you say that?" she asked.

"The way you couldn't take your eyes off him when he wasn't looking and the way he couldn't take his eyes off you when you weren't looking. The tension. You care greatly for him, I could tell. And he cares for you."

"I have to let him go," she said softly.

"I'm sorry it has to be this way," Lancelot said. "I wish I could do something, but we're in the same situation. Well, almost." He smiled. "I count Merlin as a great friend."

"He is," Ryll said, smiling. "He will always be."

"Let's have some dinner. I bought some bread and fruit from the market today. I figured now that we're a semi-functioning family we should have a little more than broth to eat."

Ryll smiled as he set to fixing up dinner for them. They ate in silence, but Ryll was starting to feel better. "I am grateful that you're seeing me through all this," she said, breaking the silence. "You could have gone on to do something more exciting, but you didn't."

"This was my suggestion, remember? You're the one who could have gone off and done something more exciting. Maybe there's someone out there looking for a dragon slayer."

Ryll grinned. "Tell me more about your time in Camelot. You mentioned a beast that you killed."

"A gryphon," he said. "It was attacking villages and then the people in Camelot. It nearly killed Merlin, but I got in its way. And ended up wounded. Merlin took me back to the city and healed me. No one could manage to kill the best – it was impervious to regular weapons."

"How did you kill it?"

Lancelot hesitated as if he wasn't sure how much to tell her. "Merlin helped me," he said after a pause.

"Merlin?" Ryll felt bad for the astonishment she heard in her voice. Merlin was a lot of things, but he was no warrior.

"He helped me find a weapon that would kill it," Lancelot told her.

"Oh, I see. And it worked?"

"Yes. I managed to kill it."

"But Uther still exiled you even after you saved his people?"

"Yes."

"That's unfair. I just don't understand how he can be so cruel."

"Let's not think about that now," Lancelot said. "Uther is far away where his injustice cannot reach us."

"Somehow I feel as if his injustice could reach us anywhere," Ryll said quietly. Lancelot had no response to this, and she knew that he secretly agreed.