A/N: Hi, everybody! I hope your early summer (or autumn, depending on your hemisphere) is going well for all of you. Thanks to all of you who faved, followed and reviewed. The continued support this story gets just blows me away.
Updates have been down to once-a-week since my RL became unusually hectic. I'm hoping to get back to twice-a-week soon now that things have settled down a bit. As my characters become more developed, though, they seem to have more to say. Chapters are getting a little longer, so it may be that I settle into a routine of longer chapters a little less often.
My betas, dandelionsunset and evilgrinstar, deserve home deliveries of luscious baked goods from a shirtless Rye Mellark. That's how awesome these two woman are.
Chapter 24—Panem Parental Lecture Series: Reproduction, Part 1
After kissing an unconscious Peeta goodnight, Katniss finished her nighttime routine and went to bed. She lay there and thought about Peeta's offer to go with her to the Justice Building tomorrow. He clearly didn't want her to go, but he seemed to understand that she had to. She decided she liked the idea of having him for company. Besides, it would be good to see him again.
Katniss was still awake when Rosemary and Prim returned about an hour later. The miner and her new infant son were both fine and resting comfortably. Prim was so exhausted that Katniss had to help her get undressed. Prim didn't even have the energy to say goodnight. She just collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep without bothering to pull up the covers. Katniss snuggled in next to her, kissed her forehead and pulled the covers up over them both. Now that Prim was home safe, Katniss quickly fell asleep.
The next morning, Katniss awoke to the low voices of Rosemary and Peeta in the kitchen. Letting Prim sleep, Katniss got dressed as quietly as she could before joining them. Peeta sat at the kitchen table fully dressed, his satchel on the floor next to his chair.
A plate of new muffins sat on the table. Peeta handed her one as she made lunch for herself and Prim. This time, she didn't argue, she just thanked him. "Did Rye stop by this morning?" she asked around a mouthful of pumpkin muffin.
"No," Peeta shook his head, "my dad came over." Peeta had that closed-off look on his face that Katniss was beginning to associate with his parents, so she didn't press it. Instead, she asked him how he was feeling.
"Better, thanks to the Everdeen women." Peeta patted his satchel. "I've been given the all-clear to leave, so I'm moving in with Bannock this morning. I should be back at school tomorrow."
Rosemary was writing out instructions for Peeta. "No running, no lifting anything over 10 pounds, and no excessive bending for the next two weeks. Continue to drink plenty of fluids. Obviously, if the bleeding begins again, come back right away." She handed the list to him. Peeta nodded and put it in his pocket.
Rosemary got up, poured herself another tea and started stirring something on the stove. With her back still turned, she said, "Peeta, I'm glad you have been able to find another living situation. I cannot tell you how sorry I am that I have been a part of the problem for you. And I'm even more sorry that Katniss was dragged into it."
Katniss set her tea down on the table and said, "Dragged into what?"
Peeta sighed. "I'm out of a job, apparently. Marigold is angry that I'm moving in with Bannock, but apparently coming here for treatment is unforgivable. She told Dad that I was no longer welcome at the bakery for any reason. And Dad said that until things get settled, he can't trade with you anymore."
Katniss felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Rooba wouldn't take squirrels, and Greasy Sae didn't always have enough coin to trade for them. She really depended on Mr. Mellark to trade her squirrels for bread.
And Peeta! What was he going to do to help Bannock with the overhead? Would Bannock kick him out? She thought of Peeta living alone in one of the abandoned shacks in the Seam, with nobody to look after him. She couldn't allow that to happen, anymore than she could allow it to happen to Prim. She reached across the table and squeezed Peeta's hand. "We'll work something out," she told him in what she hoped was a reassuring voice.
Peeta looked surprised, but he squeezed her hand back. "Katniss," he said, "you don't need to worry about me, I'll be fine." Katniss raised one eyebrow at him, then let go of his hand and picked her tea back up.
Rosemary, who had been leaning against the stove watching the exchange, laughed softly into her teacup. "It's a little late for that, Peeta," she informed him. "You're on Katniss' watch list, now." She smiled a little at her oldest daughter.. Katniss pretended she simply hadn't heard the conversation at all, but when Rosemary ran her hand over her hair as she walked by, Katniss didn't pull away like she usually did.
They waited until the last possible second to wake Prim, knowing how late she had stayed up the night before. When the Hawthorne boys arrived, Katniss, Prim and Peeta left with them, Peeta hugging Mrs. Everdeen and thanking her profusely. Peeta told Katniss he'd see her after school, gave a halfhearted wave and walked towards town. The rest of them headed towards school.
Katniss filled Gale in on Peeta's new living situation. "So now," Katniss wrapped up, "you'll have to trade our squirrels with the baker because I've been banned from the premises until further notice."
"She fires her own son. Unbelievable. So what'll Peeta do now for income?" Gale asked.
"I don't know," Katniss told him. "His dad just told him this morning, so I doubt he knows."
"Have you thought about teaching him to hunt?"
"Gale, Peeta can't hunt."
"How do you know he can't? If he's willing to risk going into the woods—and he clearly is—let him learn. Besides, if it turns out he really can't hunt, he can still learn snares, and plants to gather," Gale suggested. "But he needs to be able to feed himself and his family."
"You're better at snares, maybe you should teach him."
"Maybe I should," Gale said, then changed the subject. "Why are you meeting him this afternoon? Gotta date or something?"
Katniss tried not to bristle at Gale's teasing tone. "He's walking me to the Justice Building while I sign up for tesserae."
"Oh my god, tell me he isn't. Catnip, that is the worst date I've ever heard of," Gale chided playfully.
"Oh, shut up, Gale, it isn't a date. He's just being a friend. And speaking of date, how did your meeting with Madge on Saturday go?"
"Um, well," Gale had a smile that Katniss had never seen on him before, "it went great, actually. Keep this to yourself, but we're kind of seeing each other now. "
"So my two best friends are dating each other? This is perfect!" Katniss exclaimed. "You're seeing somebody I like and I don't lose a hunting partner to some jealous bimbo."
"Aw, that's thoughtful, Catnip," Gale remarked dryly, more to himself than to Katniss. "I'm happy for us, too."
Once they arrived at school, Katniss parted ways with Gale and headed to her classes. At lunch, she pounced on Madge.
"So," Katniss said conversationally, "you and Gale."
Madge smiled, unwrapped her sandwich and replied in the same conversational tone, "So. You and Peeta."
Katniss frowned. Were she and Peeta dating? "I'm not exactly sure what is going on with me and Peeta."
"Well, officially, nothing is going on between me and Gale. You're not one to gossip, but for the record, don't say anything yet. Gale is in for a lot of grief if we ever go public. Besides, we should still keep up appearances for Mrs. Mellark."
"Why bother?" Katniss asked. "He's not even living there anymore." Katniss gave Madge a quick rundown of Peeta's living and working situation.
"Interesting," Madge responded. "You have to wonder how boys as nice as Rye and Peeta could have come from the loins of Marigold Mellark."
"Did somebody mention my birth mother's name?" Rye asked as he sat down with them. "I have some new names for her. Let me know if you want to hear them."
"Can the bakery even function without Peeta?" asked Madge. "Your parents will have to hire an apprentice, won't they?"
"Probably. I expect a few weeks of falling profits will convince Marigold to let Peeta return to work, although he may not want to after all of this. Anyway, enough about that woman. Everdeen, we're rehearsing tonight."
"OK. I don't know if Peeta's up for the walk, though. I'll see him after school, so I'll ask him if he's up for it."
"Well, if he's not, I'll walk you. We need to get cracking, because we've been offered a job. We're going to be playing at your cousin's toasting."
"My cousin?" Katniss was confused. "I don't have a cousin."
"Yes, you do," Madge and Rye said in unison.
Katniss let this information sink in. She had cousins? Since when?
"You seriously didn't know?" Madge looked a little flabbergasted.
"No," Katniss said honestly. "My parents never discussed their families, much. My father's parents died before I was born. All I ever heard about my mother's family was that she'd been disowned by her parents. I think Dad was an only child. I just assumed Mom was, too."
Madge pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes like she was getting a headache. "Katniss, I swear to god, sometimes I wonder what on earth goes through your mother's head." She sighed, then continued, "Your mom has an older brother, Ash Bay. He got married a few years before your parents got together."
Rye picked up the story. " Their youngest kid, Ander, is a couple of years older than Bannock. He's getting married on Saturday and just heard about our band. He stopped by the bakery this morning before I left, and hired us."
"Ander works with my dad," Madge told them. "Knowing Dad, he probably told Ander about the band, hoping to get business for you guys." She turned to Katniss. "My parents and I have been invited to the toasting, so I'll be there, too."
Katniss ate the rest her lunch in silence, while Rye and Madge chatted with each other. After lunch, Madge invited Katniss to come to dinner at the Undersees before the rehearsal.
Katniss spent the rest of the day in a bit of a daze. She had never, even once, given any thought to whether her mother had family besides the parents who disinherited her. Now she was going to meet at least one of her cousins, and likely her uncle and grandparents, too.
After school, Katniss told her mother about the toasting on Saturday. Rosemary listened with her usual placid expression, then said, "I doubt anybody will give you any trouble, Katniss. You're just the hired help, in their eyes. I doubt they even think of you as kin."
"I'm not worried about that," Katniss cried out. "I just don't understand why you didn't tell me about your brother and my cousins."
"Ash and his wife fully supported my parents' decision to disinherit me. They aren't my family anymore. I saw no reason to refer to them as such."
This answer didn't satisfy Katniss. "Doesn't it bother you that I had to hear about it from Rye and Madge?"
"I made a clean break," Rosemary explained, not looking the least bit bothered. "From everybody, friends and family both. If any of them cared more about me than they did their social standing, they would come see me here in the Seam. The only two people who have ever tried to find me are Farl Mellark and John Undersee."
"Madge's dad? Why?"
Rosemary stood up to make more tea as she talked with Katniss. "How much do you know about Mrs. Undersee?"
"Not a lot. That she has terrible headaches that keep her in bed with a lot of morphling in her system."
Rosemary was looking out the window over the kitchen sink. Katniss recognized the look on her mother's face. At this very moment, Rosemary was living in the past somewhere. "Mrs. Undersee lost her sister when we were not much older than you. She never really recovered from it. John came to me a few times to see if I could help her, but nothing I have can compete with morphling."
Katniss immediately felt some sympathy for Mrs. Undersee. Katniss knew if she ever lost Prim, she'd probably never recover, either.
The whistling of the kettle jolted them both from their thoughts. Katniss got up and told Rosemary that she was leaving for the Justice Building, and that Madge had invited her to dinner.
"Katniss, before you go, we need to have a talk."
"About what, another branch of the family tree?" Katniss sarcastically replied.
"Sit down, sweetie. And don't take that tone of voice with me." Rosemary poured them both cups of tea and joined Katniss at the table. "We need to discuss Peeta."
Katniss could feel herself blush and hated it. "What about Peeta?"
"I like him, he's a very nice boy. I don't have any objection to you seeing him, but I do have some ground rules. First and foremost," Rosemary looked sternly at Katniss, "if the walks from band rehearsal turn into detours to the Slag Heap, you are out of the band, and I will not allow you to see Peeta anymore."
"Mom!" Katniss felt like she'd been slapped, almost as if she'd been accused of doing something wrong. "I'd never go to the Slag Heap, it's disgusting!" Katniss protested.
"I'm glad to hear it. But you and I both know that 'going to the Slag Heap' isn't about location, it's about behavior. You and Peeta will walk straight here after rehearsals. No detours. This isn't negotiable. The whole reason you have an escort at all is because it's the proper thing to do. If it turns into anything improper, I will hear about it."
Katniss mumbled her agreement.
"Second," Rosemary continued, "if you go on any dates with Peeta, your curfew is 11:00 p.m. No exceptions. Peeta will come here to get you and he will bring you back. You will let me know where you are going, what time you expect to be back and who else will be there." Katniss found the idea of Peeta wanting to take her anywhere so ludicrous that she didn't even bother to argue. She just agreed to the curfew.
"Finally, I want you to start charting your menstrual cycle every day, and I want access to it."
"Um, OK, why?" Katniss inquired.
"Because, Katniss, I don't want you getting pregnant!" Rosemary said, somewhat indignantly.
Katniss covered her face with her hands and mumbled, "Oh my god, Mom, this conversation is completely unnecessary."
"Oh, I disagree, Katniss. This is a very necessary conversation."
Rosemary pulled Katniss' hands from her face and clasped them in her own. "Sweetie, I know you've had to grow up too quickly in some areas, and while I'm sad about the fact that some of it was my fault, the fact is I'm not going to have to teach you how to stick to a budget, or keep house, or take care of your own.
"But when it comes to relationships and sex, you know next to nothing. You're almost sixteen. Most of the girls your age are dating. Some of them are already sexually active. There are some herbal remedies that can prevent pregnancy. Unfortunately, they aren't fully effective. Knowing your cycle will let me know which herbs are best for you and will let you know when to avoid having sex. And that is why you will keep a chart on your cycle and I will have full access to it."
"Mom," Katniss wanted to pull her hands away and cover her ears, but doubted it would look very mature. "I'm never having kids. I plan to avoid having sex until I die. Seriously. I've never even kissed a boy. I don't need birth control."
"Not yet, you don't," agreed Rosemary, "but whether you decide to have children or not, remaining a virgin the rest of your life is unrealistic. And if you get pregnant before your last Reaping, you risk going into the Arena pregnant, or leaving your baby behind here in Twelve. Either way, the baby's father gets taken to the Capitol, and you'll never see him again."
Katniss thought of being pregnant while trying to survive the Games. It made her shudder. "Has that ever happened?" she asked her mother. "Have there ever been pregnant tributes before?"
"Once, when I was a little younger than Prim, the girl from Eight was in her last trimester. A lot of people called her some pretty ugly names. The audience booed during her entire interview with Caesar Flickerman. It was one of the few times he ever lost control of an audience. I felt so sorry for her. She was embarrassed, but you could tell she wanted her baby, loved it already." Rosemary's eyes were a little clouded over, and Katniss could tell this memory still upset her mom.
"That poor girl didn't last one minute in the Arena. She tried to run for shelter, but she wasn't very fast, obviously. The boy from her District was big and strong, like a Career, and he'd had a high training score. But he didn't even try for a weapon at the Cornucopia. Instead, he ran up right behind her and broke her neck. At first, I thought it was a terrible thing for him to do. Now, I see it for the kindness it was. Somebody more bloodthirsty would have used her—and the baby—for some very gruesome television."
Katniss swallowed the lump in her throat. "Ok, Mom. I'll do the chart."
Rosemary leaned across the table and hugged Katniss. "That's all I ask. I'll place a chart for you in the bathroom. Fill it out every morning, and I'll keep an eye on it."
They both stood up. Katniss wasn't sure why she did it, but she hugged her mother. After a moment of shock that her daughter was initiating any sort of affection, Rosemary squeezed her back.
Before leaving, Katniss brushed her hair and teeth, re-did her braid, and put on a clean, heather-colored shirt that Prim said brought out her eyes. Pulling their wagon behind her, Katniss walked to Bannock's place. Bannock and Nikki lived in a tiny house no larger than the Everdeens', although it was much sturdier.
Peeta opened the door when she knocked. He looked better. He'd clearly had a bath, and some color had returned to his cheeks. Before she could say anything, though, he pulled her in for a long hug. "You are a sight for sore eyes," he whispered before letting her go.
She stood back and looked at him. His eyes were troubled. "Bad day?" she asked.
He nodded. "I'll fill you in later. First, come meet Nikki." Leaving her wagon on the porch, Katniss walked into the house.
A very short, very pregnant blonde woman was in the kitchen. "You must be Katniss!" she cried out, with the hillbilliest accent Katniss had ever heard. It sounded like Yew mus' be Kaatniss.
Katniss just stared at her. Everyone in Twelve had Southern accents to varying degrees, but Nikki's accent made Ripper sound like a Capitol scholar.
"I'm Nikki, Peet's sister-in-law," she said, unexpectedly pulling Katniss in for a big, tight hug. Katniss was a little alarmed at just how strong this woman was. "Y'all been takin good care of him these last few days. I'm grateful ta you and your momma. He's had himself a day, bet he's happy to see you. Miss Marigold had quite the scene at the bakery today, didn't she, Peet." Peeta nodded his head tiredly.
"I'll let him here fill you in on all the awfuls," Nikki continued, patting Peeta sympathetically on his arm. "I know you gotta take care of some business, I won't keep y'all. Listen, sugar, you just c'mon over any time you like, no invite needed. It was nice ta meet you. Now y'all scoot." She grabbed Katniss and gave her another bone-cracking hug.
"Um, it's nice to meet you, too," Katniss replied, finally finding her voice and awkwardly returning the hug.
Katniss and Peeta left, taking the wagon with them. "Nikki seems nice," Katniss offered.
"She is. She's got a big heart."
"Where on earth did she get that accent?" Katniss knew the question was a little rude, but asked it anway.
"Apparently, they were mountain folk before the Dark Days," Peeta chuckled. "Nikki says family legend has it that her ancestors were so cut off from civilization that they weren't even aware that there had been a war, much less that a new nation had been created. I don't know how much of the legend is true, but Nikki's grandfather told her that the Capitol relocated the family to Twelve when he was a boy."
As interested as Katniss was to hear about Nikki's background, she was more concerned with Peeta. "What happened today with your mother?"
Peeta told her that last night, on his way home from the Everdeens, Bannock had stopped by the bakery to explain Peeta's new living situation to Mr. Mellark. Farl and Bannock had packed up most of Peeta's belongings. This consisted of a couple of bags of clothes, his backpack and his artwork. Bannock took the clothing, but didn't have time for a second trip.
Today, Bannock went to the bakery over his lunch break to get the rest of Peeta's things. When Marigold saw Bannock, she started screaming that Peeta wasn't going to get anything else.
"Dad apparently tried to calm her down, but, well, that never works. You know those big paper bags we have? The kind with the handles we use to bag up large orders?" Katniss nodded. She'd seen people leaving the bakery with them. "Bannock had put all of my artwork and supplies in one of those bags. She grabbed it out of his hand and threw it into one of the oven fires. All of my paintings, brushes, paints, and most of my sketchbooks just went up in flames," he said quietly. "Years of work, gone just like that, except for the two sketchbooks I brought with me when we went to the woods."
Katniss had no words to tell Peeta how awful she felt for him, so she slipped her hand into his.
"Ban said she ruined an oven full of bread. Plus, that oven is out of commission until it's been cleaned. That's going to put orders behind for a couple of days, at least. She didn't just ruin all of my artwork. She's basically guaranteed that there won't be a profit at the bakery this month. I don't know why she hates me so much."
"I don't understand it, either," Katniss responded. And she didn't. The whole reason Katniss never wanted children was because she knew she would love them so much that it would kill her to lose them to the Games. But Mrs. Mellark treated Peeta as though he were disposable.
They didn't say anything the rest of the way to the Justice Building. They went through the front doors and Katniss led them to the large, marble counter in the main lobby, the wagon wheels echoing loudly. She filled out the paperwork and handed it to the woman behind the counter. The woman fiddled with her computer for a minute, printed up a sheet of paper, and handed to to Katniss. Finally, the woman pressed a button, and a small metal gate at the end of the counter swung open.
Katniss led Peeta though the gate and down a short hallway. At the end of it, another worker—this one a middle-age man with a sidearm—sat at a desk next to a closed door. Katniss handed him her paperwork. The worker looked them over, nodded and said, "Right. Hold on."
He disappeared through the door, then returned a minute later with three packages wrapped in brown paper. Each package was about the size of a small backpack. He placed them in the wagon for Katniss, then sat back down behind his desk.
"OK," Katniss said to Peeta. "That's it."
He picked up her hand again as they left the Justice Building. "What are you doing now?" Peeta asked her.
"I'm due at Madge's house tonight for dinner but I've got a lot more time to kill than I expected. I guess I'll just head home."
"Or, you could just come back to Bannock and Nikki's with me."
Katniss squeezed his hand in acceptance. "I'd like that. By the way, Rye says if you can't walk me home tonight, he'll do it because we have to rehearse no matter what. He got us a toasting gig on Saturday."
"I'll walk you back," Peeta assured her.
When they got back to the house, Peeta took Katniss into the very tiny back yard. They sat on the porch swing. Peeta had to sit sideways, with one foot underneath him and the other on the ground, to keep his bruises from touching the back of the swing. Katniss mirrored his posture to face him, as well.
Peeta took her hand and weaved their fingers together. "Tell me about this toasting you're playing on Saturday."
Katniss told him about Ander Bay's toasting, and how she had to learn from Rye and Madge that Ander was her cousin. "It's not a very good feeling," she complained, "learning that everybody in the District knows my family tree except me. I know in the scheme of things it isn't a huge deal, but still."
"It makes you wonder what else in your history you don't know," Peeta responded.
"Exactly." Peeta once again put her own feelings into words when she couldn't.
Peeta looked down at their linked hands. He caught his lower lip with his teeth and, without looking at Katniss, said, "If I ask you something, do you promise to answer honestly?"
"Of course."
"Did you kiss me last night as I was falling asleep?"
Oh my god, I've offended him, Katniss thought. Still, she'd promised to answer honestly. "Um, yes. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," Peeta assured her. She looked up to find him smiling at her.
"You're not offended?"
"Katniss," Peeta scooted closer, "the girl of my dreams tucked me into bed last night and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I'm not offended, I'm delighted. I asked because I wasn't sure if it was a dream."
"It was real," Katniss mumbled, looking down at their hands again. 'The girl of my dreams,' she thought. "I don't understand it."
"Don't understand what?" Peeta asked.
"Why you like me so much!" She hadn't meant to sound so frustrated, but there it was. She risked a glance at Peeta. He was frowning now.
"Why shouldn't I like you?"
"Because I'm not a nice person, Peeta! I'm not good, like you or Prim. I don't make friends. People like you. They love Prim. They tolerate me." Katniss was shaking a little now, although she wasn't sure if it was from anger or fear.
"You have that last part backwards, Katniss," Peeta said gently. "It isn't that people tolerate you. It's that you tolerate them, and just barely at that. "
Katniss had let go of his hand and crossed her own arms against herself. She resolutely looked down at the swing seat, trying to stop shaking. If Peeta expected a response from her, well, he could damn well wait all day.
"I do agree that you aren't nice," continued. "'Nice' is too mild a word for you. You're fierce, loyal, strong and beautiful. And you are more than good, Katniss. Everybody who sees you with Prim, or who has watched you step into your father's shoes these last few years, knows it."
Katniss kept her arms crossed, her eyes down. Peeta placed his hands on her shoulders and very gently pulled her to his chest. She was once again surrounded by the feeling of safety when his arms finally wrapped around her. Her shaking stopped. He pulled her as close as he could, and used his toe to gently push the swing back and forth.
"I'm braver with you in my life" Peeta's voice was gentle and low. She could hear it rumble in his chest as he talked. "If you weren't, I'd still be at the bakery, taking whatever random punishment Marigold dished out, while Dad waited in the hallway with a bag of ice. You make me feel protected, somehow. You're like my talisman."
Katniss started to relax a little as he continued to gently rock them on the swing. "You're also very tiny," he frowned. "You should eat more."
"I'm seeing a baker," she deadpanned. "Maybe he'll fatten me up."
Peeta didn't laugh. "I'm not a baker anymore. I'm never going back there, even if Marigold allowed it. I just don't know what else to do before I can join the mines. Baking is really all I know."
"I can teach you to hunt and gather. Gale can teach you how to set snares. And if you could ever find a way to make tesserae bread taste good, you'd be the most popular boy in the Seam."
"It doesn't make good bread, there isn't enough gluten in it. Turn it into a cracker. I'll show you this week."
As they had been talking, Katniss had relaxed her legs so that they were stretched out on the swing while she leaned sideways into Peeta's chest. One of his arms rested comfortably around her waist, the other had wandered up to her hair and was holding her head to his chest. The gentle rocking of the swing was almost hypnotic. She closed her eyes, listened to his heartbeat.
"Katniss?" Peeta whispered, "why did you kiss me last night?"
Katniss froze. "Because I didn't know you were still awake."
"If you'd known I was still awake, would you have kissed me?"
"No."
"Why not?"
Katniss tried to make herself smaller, as if it were somehow possible to hide from her own words. "Because I'm scared you'll kiss me back."
"You're afraid of me kissing you?"
Katniss hated the tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Yes," she whispered, barely keeping her voice under control.
"Why?" Peeta sounded hurt.
Katniss didn't think she could explain it. She wasn't even sure herself. Being in his arms felt like something inside of her was slowly repairing itself. Kissing would pull it all apart again.
Finally, she managed to gasp out, "It feels safe here."
Peeta looked down and noticed she was crying. "Oh, god, Katniss, I'm sorry. I don't know why you bother with me. It seems all I do is make you cry." He tilted her face up a little and she could see worry in his blue eyes. He wiped her tears off with his thumb. "You feel safe here? Here at Bannock's?"
"It feels safe here," Katniss answered placing her hand on his chest.
"Oh," Peeta breathed, understanding relaxing his face. He rested his cheek on the top of her head. He took her hand, which she was resting on his chest, into his. "You are safe here." He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it, then put it back down on his chest.
Katniss listened to Peeta's breathing and his heartbeat. After a couple of minutes, the swing stopped rocking. His breathing deepened, and his body relaxed against the porch swing as he dozed off.
Katniss stayed curled up against him for a few minutes. She looked at her small, dark hand in his much larger, much lighter one. After a bit, Nikki came out onto the porch to check on them. She smiled at Katniss, then motioned for her to join Nikki inside.
Katniss tried to extricate herself from Peeta's embrace but when she started to move, his arms tightened around her. She tried a couple more times, while Nikki looked on in amusement. Finally, Nikki gently shook Peeta's shoulder. Katniss craned her head up to see him open his blue eyes about halfway. He blinked at Nikki, snuggled Katniss a little closer, then started to go back to sleep.
"Peeta, honey, you let go of Katniss now," Nikki soothed, "and go take yourself a proper nap. We girls are gonna chat and solve all the world's problems." Peeta finally loosened his grip on Katniss, and they both stood up. Nikki guided them back into the house, and all but pushed Peeta into her bedroom. "Go sleep on our bed, honey, I'll wake ya for dinner." Peeta pulled Katniss in for a clumsy hug, then stumbled into the bedroom.
Nikki led Katniss into the tiny kitchen and they sat at the table. "I don't wish bodily harm on too many folk," Nikki confided, "but that woman deserves a long, slow death after what she done today. He's better now, but you should have seen him when Bannock got back and told him all his artwork was gone. She coulda cut off his leg and hurt him less."
Katniss chewed her lip. What she was about to ask really wasn't her business, so she lowered her voice. "Can you and Bannock keep him here even though he lost his job?"
"Where else is he gonna go, sugar?" Nikki asked, clearly confused by the question.
"Peeta told Bannock last night that he'd pay his bakery wages here to help you guys out, but that if you couldn't keep him, he'd go squat in the Seam."
Nikki looked horrified. "Does he really think he has ta pay his way here? Sugar, Peeta's family. I'm not gonna let him go homeless! If I'd had my way, he'd a' been here right after the toastin', but Bannock thought it would be safe for him, now that Peet's near full grown."
She leaned back in her chair and placed a hand on either side of her enormous belly, caressing it. "I'll tell you what, Katniss. Farl and Marigold, between the two of them, ain't worth even one of their sons. Farl loves them, I know he does, but he let his guilt over not loving Marigold get in the way of protecting his kids. I know you and Peet are new to each other, but I oughta warn you. All three of them boys hide way more hurt and pain than they show. "
Katniss stared down at her own hands, which were folded on the table, unsure what Nikki's warning meant. "Are you telling me I should stay away?" she asked, her breath hitching in her throat.
"Lord, no, sugar. I want you around Peeta as much as either of you can stand it. You're good for him. I just want you to understand that that sweet boy in there spends most of his waking moments hating himself because his parents made him believe he's unlovable."
Katniss fought the urge to run into the bedroom and tuck Peeta in. She glanced at the clock and noticed the time. "I need to go, Madge is expecting me for dinner," she explained, standing up. "Thank you for having me. And thank you for letting Peeta stay with you." Nikki stood up and walked Katniss to the front door and gave Katniss another bone crushing hug.
"Sugar, I meant it when I said you're welcome here anytime."
"Thank you, Nikki. I appreciate it." Katniss hugged her back, touched by Nikki's sincerity. Then she grabbed her wagon, pointed herself in the direction of the Mayor's house, and left.