But I've been thinking,
And thinking always gets me into trouble.
But since I have a double personality
I wasn't me you see…
- Ill Nino, I am Loco
Shepard would have let out a blood curdling scream had it not been for the hand clamped down tightly over her mouth. Her broken and lacerated mind immediately assumed the reunion aboard the Normandy had been an illusion... a dark and taunting hallucination. Torture and terrifying medical procedures were fresh in her thoughts, memories stained with red, as ominous voices unleashed threatening whispers in her ears. No bonds or metal clamps held her down, and she thrashed against the hand until a familiar face with friendly wrinkles and a head of white hair materialized above her.
"Sshh," Dr. Chakwas breathed, hand still over Shepard's lips. It took Shepard several moments before her mind was able to comprehend what was transpiring.
She was in the medbay once more, staring at the white colored ceiling. Craning her neck around, she could see the shades on the windows were closed tight, and beyond that, there was an angry voice shouting furiously, ranting, raving, barking mad orders at her soldiers. The inane screaming was followed by a gunshot and an audible thud.
Chakwas and Shepard remained unmoving for the next five minutes, until EDI appeared on the doctor's omni-tool and said quietly, "The clone has returned to the bridge, Shepard. A single armed centurion remains outside this door. Another guarding the elevator and two more in Liara's office."
Shepard rolled over on her side, head hanging off the edge of the medical bed, and her stomach churning.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," she gulped, a wave of nausea washing over her.
"Too much noise. Give me your arm," Chakwas ordered softly. Shepard complied, too nauseous to protest. The doctor plunged something thin, sharp and metallic deep into the crease of her arm, and her veins exploded as if they were on fire. Had it been anyone else prodding her with needles, Shepard would have taken the syringe and stuck them in the eye with it... She hated needles. They always seemed to dredge up unpleasant memories... especially now, more than ever...
Flickers of being bound to a cold, metal slab echoed through her mind as she shuddered in an attempt to keep the nightmares at bay. She could still feel the metal shackles and the leather straps biting sharply into her wrists and ankles as she flailed against them. She could still hear her own screams, as the electricity flowed violently through her weak and broken body... The images and the feelings they conjured would haunt her for the rest of her life.
Perhaps the clone was right... Perhaps she was merely a former shadow of herself. The old Shepard would push the memories aside and move on with the mission.
Off to her left, she could hear Chakwas muttering darkly to herself, "This was asinine, Commander."
Shepard buried the haunting memories and hid behind her soldier's visage, a cold, unfeeling exterior, saved usually only for heart pounding fire fights.
"How else did you expect us to get out of there, Karin?" she grumbled, pushing herself into an upright position. Granted, this hadn't been the smartest idea she had ever concocted.
Garrus paced back and forth behind the crates as Shepard and the rest of the crew watched him, waiting for his response.
"Well?" Shepard asked impatiently, turning over a pistol Tali had pulled from the depths of her suit.
"Shepard," he said, his voice heavy and reluctant. "This is crazy… I don't think I can agree to this…"
"If you have a better idea, I would love to hear it," she whispered angrily to him.
What she was asking of him was senseless and irrational, and quite possibly, very lethal, and as expected, he wasn't, at all, thrilled with her request.
"All you have to do," she said, extending the pistol to him with her good arm. "Is take this. I'll stand back, and you fire a concussive shot straight at me. Simple."
"And explain to me again, why you want me to try to kill you…" Garrus replied, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. Shepard sighed irritably, time was running short, "Because… this is the only possible way I can think of to get out of this cargo hold and take back the Normandy from the inside. Our comms to the outside are blocked. The damn clone is more than likely feeding the Alliance false information, telling them that everything is status quo. From the outside looking in, it would appear that way. That dreadnought sitting out there is probably none the wiser."
"But-" Garrus began before EDI interrupted him. "If I may, someone needs to get to my AI core. They've installed a firewall that I am unfamiliar with, and it needs to be disabled before I can regain control of the ship. Cerberus will have informed the clone of my presence, and she's taken countermeasures to see to it that I don't interfere. This... coup... has been well executed thus far."
"It seems as if you admire them, machine," Javik said suspiciously.
Shepard was inclined to agree with EDI; it was a well implemented strategy, more so than the last clone. Place agents throughout the Alliance in the middle of a war, capture the head of the fleet along with several other chief "kingpins", murder all of them on the most significant warship in the Alliance, overthrow said Alliance, take credit for the massacre and break all association and cooperation with the other races, allowing for Cerberus to gain control of humanity so they could do their bidding unchallenged. Yeah… it was much more thought out than the last one.
"And what are you planning once you get to her, Shepard?" Hackett asked, standing up, wincing. Chakwas had just applied medigel to his gunshot wound, and it had apparently kicked in.
"What I should have done to the other one," she said defiantly. "And to Brooks… I'm gonna kill them all. I'm done giving a shit when it comes to Cerberus."
Hackett took a moment to glance at Hannah, who in turn hung her head, shaking it. Shepard wasn't going to let go of this, not after what they put her through… not to mention countless others before her. Trying to convince her to do otherwise would be futile. She was hell bent on making this right, once and for all.
The Admiral turned back toward her and nodded, "We'll await your signal, Commander. Give no quarter and show no mercy."
Shepard dipped her head in kind and replied, "Cerberus will pay in blood."
She watched as Garrus closed his eyes and sighed in defeat. Turning to him, she said, "I'll be fine."
"Now where have I heard that before?" he whispered. "I still think we could find another way…"
"EDI has eyes all over the ship. She'll have my back… and so will you, soon enough," she smiled reassuringly at him. He grabbed her good arm and pulled her close. She could feel his hot breath on her face. He was nervous… and had every right to be. Hell, she wasn't too fond of this idea either but…
He kissed her hard. It wasn't just a peck, but long and passionate. She could hear his subharmonics trembling, a very deep and very low rumbling. It was meant for her ears only, and told her to be careful and they'd see each other soon.
Breaking away, he ordered EDI and Chakwas, "Keep her safe." They complied.
Shepard walked over to stand in front of Vega and took a steadying breath. Satisfied that they were out of view of the Cerberus guards, she said, "This is how it's gonna play out. Garrus will incapacitate me with his concussive shot. Once I'm out and on the floor, I want everyone to panic. Liara, you're to scream and cry for the guards. Tell them I've gone into shock, and that I need to be taken to the medbay for treatment. If they argue, Mom, I want you to get angry, convey to them how upset the clone will be if I die. They ought to agree with that. One, maybe two will escort Chakwas and I to the medbay, where the doc will inject me with something to slow my heart rate even further, and then she'll call for her, show her I'm 'dead'. At which point, the clone should be pissed, and with luck, take out a guard in anger, and retreat to the CIC to formulate a new plan. The moment she leaves the medbay, Chakwas will then counter the drug to bring me around so we can begin the second phase of… Operation Fire Cobra Claw."
Wrex snorted with laughter, "Wish Grunt was here to appreciate that." Shepard smirked.
"I'll be right behind you Commander," Vega said. "Getting hit with a concussive shot is gonna suck, but at least you won't have to hit the floor too hard."
"Ready, Garrus?" she asked.
"No… but let's get this over with,"
"On the count of three then," she said. "One… two… THREE!"
The last thing she remembered before everything went black was being hit square in the chest with what felt like the force of a thousand krogan charge into battle.
"Certainly not this way…," Chakwas replied, sticking Shepard aggressively with another syringe, causing her to wince.
"What the hell was that for?!" she growled irritably.
"I just injected you with three different stims, in the hopes that they'll reawaken some of your implants and begin rudimentary repairs. After the clone left, thinking you were dead, I jumped started your heart with atropine, and that second shot was epinephrine to increase your cardiac output," Chakwas said, waving her omni-tool over Shepard's body. "Levels are finally stabilizing… higher than I'd like, but I suppose it's a start. Still… you ought to be in a hospital… recovering."
Swinging her feet over the side of the table, Shepard rolled her neck and her shoulders, though her left one still didn't seem to want to move. She already felt better than she had in ages.
"Had it been anyone else Commander, you'd be dead, if not from the concussive shot, then from all the drugs in your system," Chakwas said.
"Well I'm not…," Shepard replied defiantly, anxious to get moving.
"Shepard, listen to me!" Chakwas exclaimed. "I don't think you fully understand the severity of the situation. Your heart stopped… for several minutes. We very nearly lost you… again!"
She ignored the doctor, and instead fiddled on her omni-tool and earpiece that Garrus had returned to her. She was attempting to pick up a secured, local signal to connect with the team downstairs.
"Aurora Shepard!" Chakwas snapped. "Do you have some sort of death wish?!"
"So what if I do?" she rounded on Karin. "I should have stayed dead over Alchera!"
"Commander, I-"
"Damnit Karin! You saw the reports. They found only my fucking head intact! I was meat and tubes on a slab for two years!"
"I can understand why you're upset…," Chakwas began slowly. Shepard threw her good hand in the air in frustration, "Under-? Understand? You have no fucking idea! What Cerberus did to me was unnatural! It never should have happened! Not to mention the last six months of hell I spent with them!"
She shuddered, screwing up her face to stave off any tears, but they leaked out anyway.
"My own fucking father tortured me for his damn research! I have a mind control chip implanted on my brain… They tried to control me… tried to turn me into one of their… their playthings! And when I resisted? They would cut me… stab me… electrocute me… food deprivation… sleep deprivation… sensory overload… humiliation… whatever they fancied at the time, and whatever it took to break me. You name it, they did it! I have voices in my head, screaming at me to stop defying, to stop fighting. So don't you dare tell me you understand, because you have no clue…"
Chakwas' eyes welled up, horror written all over her face.
"I- I'm sorry Shepard," she whispered. "I'm so so so sorry…"
Shepard shook her head angrily, brushing away the tears, "Let's just get this over with."
Tapping her earpiece once more, she said, "Tali? You there?"
There was a moment's hesitation before an unexpected and sad voice came through, "It's me, Shepard…" It was Garrus. She could tell by his subvocals, even through the earpiece, he had heard everything.
"I take it you heard that?" she said.
"Yeah… We all did," came his reply.
"Damn… Well, I don't need your sympathy…" she started miserably but Garrus interrupted her, "I just wanted to say... We're with you, Aurora. Whatever it takes…"
Shepard closed her eyes; that was exactly what she needed to hear at the moment. Summoning up her remaining courage and determination, she said, "Alright. Let's end this..."
Updated 6/7/14