Document 1278803-4576b

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Entry 9 -

Now that I have satisfied Thaal for the moment, I can return to my analysis of the events that transpired earlier this day. I was interrupted after I recalled the intense emotional response I experienced. Arno entered not long after I had dried my eyes and sat staring blankly at the wall.

"Brainy? Are you in here?" Arno whispered. "Er… I mean, Vril?"

I stood slowly and opened the stall door. "Present," I said softly, my voice slightly unsteady.

Arno frowned in concern. "Brainy…" he said softly, "Were you crying?"

"I do not see how my emotional state could be relevant information at this juncture," I snapped, unwilling to admit such a thing.

"Well, your eyes are…green-rimmed… and I thought I should know if you were maybe allergic to your disguise," Arno explained.

"It is hypoallergenic," I said slowly, feeling confused. "It is unlikely that I would be allergic to something that is hypoallergenic."

Arno frowned. "Maybe, but you're also a biological Coluan. Who knows? —er, that's beside the point," he said quickly, glancing around nervously as I shot a distressed look in his direction.

I hoped no one was near enough to overhear that particular revelation. "Just re-disguise me, please," I said.

Arno nodded and handed me some foundation. "Here," he said. "Go ahead." He frowned. "It's weird to see green bloodshot eyes," he noted quietly.

I scowled. "Perfect. Are the Legionnaires gone?"

"Er, no," Arno said. "They wanted to be sure you were okay. Thaal's holding them off."

"I'm not leaving this restroom until they are gone," I told him firmly, feeling my stomach begin to churn.

"Look, Brainy—Vril – you can't do that. They want to see you, and they aren't going to leave until they know you're okay."

I shook my head adamantly. "Have the Science Police stay and let the Legionnaires…"

"Brainy, come on, you're logical. Think about this logically," Arno said sympathetically. "They're heroes. They just want to know if you're all right."

"But I'm not all right!" I cried suddenly, voice cracking as I collapsed into sudden hysterics. "I won't be all right until they go! Please, Arno, make them go away! Please!" My eyes grew wet as torrential emotions once more crashed down on me. "please," I whispered once more, brokenly.

Arno nodded thoughtfully. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you," I said softly. As he left, I began to reapply my disguise.

A moment later, Thaal poked his head in. "Bvril," he said softly, "I, uh… look…" he coughed awkwardly. "They aren't leaving."

I clenched my fists and tried to fight back a sudden surge of anger. "Why not?"

"They're concerned, and… well, yeah." Thaal shrugged. "Look, can't you just—"

"That's just it, Thaal," I said, whirling around. "It's not just anything! Those are the people I hurt, I betrayed, and I don't want to see them right now."

"That's awfully selfish of you," Thaal noted. "For someone who wants to be a hero…"

I glared at him, going back to applying my disguise. "I do not wish to be a hero for the attention and glory, and certainly not to get the attention of the people I betrayed."

Thaal scowled. "Well then why did you jump in like that?"

"I don't know!" I snapped, nearly poking my eye out as my hands began to shake. "I had to! He was going to take that artifact! It wasn't right!"

Thaal blinked. "Why didn't you call the security guards?"

"I tried to get your attention, genius," I snapped. "It seemed to do wonders." I was angry, angry at my former teammates for refusing to leave, angry with Thaal for not making them leave, angry with myself for being afraid, and angry with myself for being angry for no good reason. I could hear the cutting tone emerging from my mouth and it hurt me because I could see how it hurt Thaal. I did not wish to hurt him and yet I did wish to hurt him, to show him how much I was hurting. As if bringing emotional anguish to my friend would somehow make my own pain more bearable. I swiped angrily at my face for a few moments, touching up my disguise, before glancing at Thaal in the mirror. His eyes were downcast, shoulders slumped. He had no answer for me, and seeing what a few of my words could do hurt me far more than I'd expected. "Thaal," I said softly, "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. Please do not take any of my words to heart, I'm simply transferring my emotional dismay at this situation to you and your actions. Will you forgive me for being irrational in this instance?"

Thaal chuckled, glancing up. "How could I not forgive someone who apologizes like an encyclopedia?"

"I have never heard an encyclopedia apologize," I told him, raising an eyebrow. "I doubt such an event has ever occurred."

"Yeah, well, if it did, it would sound almost exactly like what you said," Thaal shot back, smirking.

I sighed, hanging my head. "Could I just stay in here forever?"

"…I don't think that's a good idea," Thaal said after a moment. "They might come in after you, and then we'd be in a real pickle."

I shot him a look. "How would we fit inside a brine-soaked cucumber?"

"…" Thaal stared at me for a long moment. "Are you doing this just to annoy me, or are you stalling for time?"

"Both," I admitted.

"Well stop!" Thaal growled. "Come on, let's get out there."

I nodded slowly, moving towards the door. "Do I look…?" I was unsure of how to finish my sentence.

"Oh no," Thaal whispered suddenly. "Brainy, you're still bleeding."

I frowned. "No, I'm fairly sure I staunched the bleeding sufficiently."

Thaal pointed at my neck. "You're still bleeding."

I frowned, turning to face the mirror. It was true—I was bleeding again. I didn't understand. I'd been just fine moments earlier. Unwilling to lose my resolve, I swiftly grabbed one of the towels by the sinks and pressed it to my neck. "This will have to do. I hope it doesn't bleed through," I said, squaring my shoulders. "Let's go."

Thaal laid a hand on my shoulder. "You're really brave to do this, Bvril," he said.

"Thank you," I said softly, glancing at him. "I appreciate your support."

"And my charming good looks?" Thaal added, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No, not so much," I replied, smirking.

Thaal sighed, shoulders slumping momentarily. "Ah well," he said, grinning at me, "worth a shot."

I rolled my eyes.

Now I find myself obligated to roll my eyes yet again, as Thaal has apparently tired of "bugging" Arno and now feels obligated to bother me. I shall never finish releasing all of my pent up emotions if he continues to interrupt in this way. Perhaps I should incapacitate him…

…an interesting proposition. I shall return.

A/N: And hopefully I, too shall return. (ahem, prepare yourselves for screaming. You might want to acquire some earplugs)

GYAAAAAAAAAAAH! Noooooooooo! I never intended for this to happen! I always get so angry at Fanfic authors who put stories on hiatus without warning people, and then suddenly I turned into one of those people! *bows repeatedly* I BEG FORGIVENESS! I could blame college, I could blame life, I could blame other extenuating circumstances, but mostly it's just me. I was not really "inspired" or "motivated" but those are just words and I should be able to write even if I don't have either of those, I've done it countless times before. So, I really have no excuse whatsoever. This is a shoddy, tiny chapter that should tide you over, and I apologize profusely for making people wait so long for me to get my act together. Really, if I didn't have a thing against profanity, I would probably be swearing about how poorly I've treated this story and my readers, and I can't apologize enough.

Then again, you weren't reading this just to hear me mope around and bash myself. Soooooo, as soon as this is posted, please know that I am returning to my fanfic and shall continue typing and hopefully finish up this little vignette in Doc12788034576b. AND THEN MOVE ON TO THE REAL JUICY STUFF THAT I INTENDED FOR THIS STORY. (Because yes, I do have a plan...) So again, I apologize, I'll try to do better, don't throw any rotten tomatoes, and hopefully I shall see you soon! Stay tuned!