"Hey, babe. How's it going?" I say, taking a shortcut from town via hiking trail.

"Not poorly!" Zelda perkily announces, "How about you, Impa? How are you doing?"

"Meh." I tuck the phone under my chin.

"Only meh, huh?"

"I had my ear talked off!" I grumble, then go on to rant about all of the insane salespeople I was forced to endure.

"Aw. I'm sorry...if it makes you feel better, I think I found our guy!"

"Who, the executive? That's great news."

"Well, yes. I have someone for that too. I was talking about our sales representative. His name is Link."

"Funny name," I say, picking at a spruce tree. "So, what's so great about him? If you've found the guy, that's fantastic; since I'd sooner claw my eyes out than spend another day talking to sales representatives." I feel a chill run down my spine at the mere thought. "But it seems like you've found him...rather quick?"

"Right! See, I figured our problem was that we were looking for the wrong characteristics in a salesperson - the ones you hate, dear."

"Okay?"

"What makes a salesperson sellable is their personality, which usually follows the charismatic, I'm your friend kind of guy who talks the entire time, right?"

"That's why they're called sales representatives. Babe, you didn't run an advertisement for a psychotic axe murderer, did you?" I question, thinking about the shadiness of the first advertisement she had written up. That job description though...nightmare inducing!

"Naturally, all axe murderers would be psychotic. The axe is such a cumbersome instrument, if you really wanted to just kill someone you would use a gun," she reasons. "And no. No I did not...I know it may come as a surprise to you, but I do actually know what I'm doing." The last bit came out sourly, as if she were pouting.

"Glad to hear it - and I never doubted you, I just like to poke fun," I respond, endearingly. "So, Link?"

"He works for a warehouse store in Castletown, and despite having been there for about a year, he's made more sales than all the other employees combined over the last four years. The thing about Link is that Ganon's team of PR and counseling specialists won't be able to read him, because they're used to the cookie-cutter salesman that you've been dealing with all day."

"He sounds like a catch. How did you get him interested in something like this?" I say, hardly believing my ears.

"I'm glad you asked! Given that he's next to completely mute? He couldn't deny my offer!"

"Wait…..He's a fucking mute?!"