That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.

-Elizabeth Wurtzel

I froze, unable to form words.

"You need to be apologizing to Tacyn. She is her sister."

"I intend to." My words came out sharper than I intended. "This is for something else."

"Oh, well that certainly expands those parameters." He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "Would you be referring to the way you intentionally withheld vital information that could have changed the outcome of this mission? The way you stopped talking to me? Or perhaps the way you decided to cut me out of your life because you thought you could handle everything by yourself…again."

Normally, his ire wouldn't affect me this way. Even when he was right, I'd always find some petulant reply to throw back at him.

But today the words peeled away my resolve and dignity like the layers of an onion; watering my eyes and leaving me nothing but a vulnerable core.

Suddenly I realized how tired I was of crying. How much I wanted all this to just end.

Valek approached me and took my hands. "This wouldn't have happened if you had just given me all the details."

"What would have happened if we did save her?" I asked quietly. "If you think about it, I'd practically deliver her to you."

He dropped my hands with a sharp intake of breath. "I thought we were past this. After all this time, how could you still think this of me?"

There was an abrupt knock before the door was thrown unceremoniously open.

Ari and Janco burst in, knocking over a pile of files in their frenzy. The larger man spoke first, "Bad news. They've lost all trace of Bale and Torak."

Janco nodded quickly. "The borders are secure. But then again, we all know that with magic, a fellow can easily enjoy a three course meal, with dessert included, in front of a guard undetected." He made a queasy expression and shuddered. "We need to-what are you two doing? Did you need…?"

We both instinctively took a step back and dropped our shoulders.

"Janco raises a good point." Valek spoke. "However, if the final destination is MD-1, there's too much ground to cover even by shared wagons. And if we assume that only Torak can access the power source, it would expend too much energy to cloak two – if she even knew how. Couple that with the curfew restrictions, and the strategic decision would be to hide until we were convinced they escaped; dropped our guard. So our tactic should be to-"

"Unless they have someone who was helping them." I said in a small voice.

Valek looked up quickly. "Who?" He demanded.

I quickly filled them in on Torak's and Bale's relationship with a Warper.

"Is there anything else you haven't told me?"

"No."

"Why do I, for the first time, find you so hard to believe?"

"I had good reasons." I said defensively. The image of a terrified Torak looking wildly between me and Bale filled my head. I balled up my firsts. "In this kind of situation, I can never predict what you'll plan and I certainly can't predict how you'd act in the actual moment."

"Likewise." He snapped back. "But I would think you'd have a better idea by this point. Isn't that the whole reason why we decided to bring open communication into our relationship? Or did all that all just fly out the window when it became easier to just believe I have no integrity?"

"Open communication?!" I nearly laughed out loud at that point. "So you were planning a day to sit down and tell me all about all your illegal espionage in Sitia? I know they go beyond safe houses."

"Okay…" Janco squeezed between us with his hands held up, ready to act as a shield between us. "Maybe we want to talk about this later? There's kind of a situation on our hands right now."

Pure frustration, enhanced by sleep deprivation, punctured the bubble where I kept all my suppressed anger. "Which means never, right Janco? Because what better way to deal with a problem than to just laugh it out of existence?"

He only shook his head and I wanted to strangle him. "Didn't you just hear what Valek said? You're the one who's shutting people out of your life, Yelena. You're the one who stopped talking to us."

"How could I have talked to you when you can't even stomach the topic?!"

Janco gritted his teeth as his arms crossed rapidly. "Well clearly your solution – also known as running away from all your problems and hoping they'd go away – makes you the smart one! You can't put this on me right now."

"I run away from my problems? Yes, I'm sure that making jokes out of everything is nothing like avoidance at all."

"Well forgive me for trying. But I tend to get this very queasy feeling about my friend jabbing me with Curare and locking me up in her closet. It wasn't a very fun experience!"

"You think it was fun for me?!"

"You know that's not what I meant, Yelena!"

"What the hell is wrong with all of you?!" It was Ari's turn to cram in. We all instinctively took a step back as his massive shadow loomed over us. "Our enemy is going to, not only win, but escape because we can't stop bickering like children!"

Everyone turned to me. It suddenly occurred to me how our group always did whenever anyone fought. It's too bad the mediator of the group isn't supposed to have anyone to turn to whenever she was pissed off.

Valek sighed with weary patience. "Since you have all the details, what's the plan?"

Janco crossed his arms across his tense body and his lips pressed tightly together.

I fought every aching part of me to keep from collapsing to the ground in a sobbing heap. I was so tired. It was all too much. Everything hurt and I could no longer see the end to anything, anymore.

Without thinking, I turned and fled from the room.

Someone accosted me before I made it far. The nails of the grip dug into my skin as it pulled me into an empty room.

I rubbed my sore arm, thankful she hadn't grabbed the left one.

"Where's my sister?" Tacyn demanded.

"She and Bale escaped." I said. "I'm sorry."

To my surprise, she never flinched. "I know. I was hoping you could tell me where they went."

When I didn't speak, she deduced my reply. Tacyn gritted her teeth and pulled a parcel out of an apron pocket.

I took it hastily and read through it. The parchment nearly slipped through my fingers.

Tacyn nodded. "Apparently Bale found out who you are - or rather, what you are. And he'd do anything for a larger profit, no doubt." She scoffed as she watched my face. "I take it my sister is good as dead, isn't she?

"No she isn't." I said firmly. "We will save her."

"How? You don't really intend to hand yourself over to Bale, do you?"

It was time to admit that I had broken my promise. I hurried to explain, "I didn't have a choice. Things got out of control when Bale recognized me."

She backed away from me. "I should have known this would happen. My sister really is..." Tears fell and she soon began to cry furiously. "Killed by Bale or by Valek...are you about to tell me that at least this way I can say goodbye before her execution?!"

"No. It's not too late. We can still rescue her and figure something out. If we can get her to Sitia, she will be taken care of."

When Tacyn refused to meet my eyes, I quickly told her of my own history and even the execution order that I managed to outrun.

"Even if you can convince Valek to go along with this, the Commander will have to know. Too many people have and will become involved."

"So you rather we give up and let the Warper do what she will with her?" I saw her blank face and quickly explained what a Warper was.

Her eyes grew wide with horror.

I nodded. "Things might have taken a turn for the worse but I've always had Torak's best interests at heart. And as Liaison, I can speak on behalf of her to the Commander. Please trust me on this." I held the parcel out. "Do I have your permission to show this to Valek?"

"Just promise me I can have a chance to talk to my sister again." Tacyn's voice caught but she held a hand out gravely. "I can't have her leave this country or this world convinced no one loved her anymore."

I shook her hand with equal severity.

I yanked at the bandage to tighten it with the ends of my teeth. The sting from the added pressure against the open cut didn't calm me. I wiped the switchblade with a cloth and the blood no longer brought a thrill.

Nothing worked anymore. I stared at the glazed windows. I imagined letting the falling ice slice into my skin like shards of glass.

I opened the door to find Valek standing there, hand raised in midair to knock.

For a moment we stood in complete silence, the mutual capitulation hanging over us and offering no guidance to a next step.

I muttered a suggestion that we'd go for a walk. As expansive as the guest suite was, it was too small to contain all the frustration and tension.

We stopped at an open window sill where I finally broke the silence, "I'm sorry. I was wrong about everything, Valek."

The ice between us began to melt as we perched on the edge.

"Why were you so determined to push me away this time, love?" There was no anger left, only quiet disappointment. "You know we would have figured something out."

I thought back to past few months and how I had gotten to this point as I sat next to him. "That's not what this was really about. It was me thinking I could and should be able to handle everything by myself."

"Even if you could, you know that I would have never hesitated to provide assistance. There's never anything wrong with making a painful situation easier."

"I know. I screwed up. We'd know where Bale was if it hadn't been for me."

But he waved away the fault. "You couldn't have counted on him recognizing you. Enough don't so that you're in danger each time you try to cross the border – even with the proper papers."

His teasing grin faded away when I failed to return it. "And I was talking about what you've been going through – this struggle you must still have within yourself."

My fists clenched as I struggled in futility just to articulate it.

"I can't understand why you suddenly stopped coming to me when you needed help."

I shook my head. "They were small battles. Simple things I was always able to take care of. Letting you handle everything was making me dependent on you."

"That might be the case on a normal day. But you're not yourself right now. And you know I would have never minded fighting these smaller, insignificant battles for you while you took care of the larger issue at hand. It's what I'm here for."

"I didn't know what to do anymore. You don't know what it's like. This feeling inside me...it just won't go away."

His voice softened. "That's not your fault, love. You have absolutely no control over any of this."

"What if I do?" My heart pounded painfully as I began to speak more to myself. "What if I can control this and I'm just doing this to myself?" My eyes darted down to my covered limb where the wounds festered, rotted, and itched. Fates above, I wanted this to all end.

"Love, I-" Valek stopped as he looked up and past me in the direction of two sets of rapid footfalls.

I turned my head to see Ari and Janco walking swiftly up to us.

Ari nodded in approval at us. "Oh good, you two made up. We have bad news."

Janco finished for him. "Tacyn just booked."

Valek stood up at once. "What happened?"

"She's not scheduled to appear anywhere for her job yet." Janco crossed his arms. "And it's the middle of the day. So no curfew yet. She wanted to leave and we had no good reason to detain her."

Valek considered. "Why would she leave all of a sudden?"

I remembered I hadn't shown him the parcel and handed it to him. "She's not waiting for me. She's forcing my hand. I have to go."

"Absolutely not." Valek turned to me sharply.

"Do you have a better idea? The Warper won't leave any survivors. She'll disappear into thin air and you'll never find her again. This is our only lead. We haven't even figured out who the key players are."

I anticipated his rebuttal before he made it. "I'm not waiting for another victim to turn up. There has already been too much suffering. This ends now."

Valek clenched and unclenched his fists before releasing a held breath. His jaw set. "We're coming with you."

I walked across the bridge, careful not to slip on the unyielding ice that covered it. The cottage that emerged before me seemed desolate and deserted. Its door had long since been ripped off its hinges by nature or by an impoverished scavenger. A branch cracked in the distance as the last trace of life abandoned it; leaving the small abode in stark silence.

I set my bow down in the soft snow and pushed the hood of my cloak down.

Steadily, I mounted the stairs, the wooden steps creaking like those of a hangman's scaffold.

The Warper glanced once at me on the threshold and said in a voice soaked with sarcasm, "Oh no…the Soulfinder. It looks like my brilliant plan has been foiled. Whatever will I do now?"

Torak stood next to her, shivering in her thin uniform. She held a sharp dagger in her pale hands. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that it was not bloodied. Bale slept in the corner on a stiff cot.

The Warper held a hand up before I could speak. "Much as I am dying to hear whatever witty reply you planned en route here, I'm afraid I won't have time for idle banter. I am a very busy woman on a very tight schedule today, as you can imagine."

There was a clutter and a gasp. I turned sharply to see Tacyn stumble in. She carried a bundle of cloth and a small backpack. The woman looked once at me with a gasp before averting her eyes and backing shakily into a dark corner.

Between us was a large circle drawn in red chalk. A clay bowl was set at the center.

"See I was planning on letting her go." The Warper crossed her arms as she began to circle me. She stopped suddenly. "Forgive me for being crass, but since Bale's last act in this world was one of penance, it means this soul holds some favor with you in the afterlife, correct?"

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and realized his "sleeping" was eternal. "The bloody sacrifice part kinda negates that sentiment. And I don't blame you for being curious. It's normal to wonder about these things when you're so personally near death."

The Warper clicked her tongue and shook her head. "Now, now...we don't need any of that. Let's be friends. I do prefer you to give me your soul willingly after all."

I smirked. "Looks like your deal's falling through. I actually don't hate myself that much."

"But you do hate yourself. There's no need to pretend. I smelled your self-loathing the second you appeared at the bottom of those steps."

"I'll have to tell my brother that his power isn't unique then."

"Still avoiding the issue? You really haven't made a whole lot of progress, have you?"

"If I was avoiding the problem I would have ran in the complete opposite direction of you."

"Then why are you here? Do enlighten me because I must have misunderstood. See, I was under the complete impression that I was going to exchange this small, likely one-trick magician for a Soulfinder."

I exhaled. "You're taking mine and releasing both of them."

"Oh, so you came to haggle."

I spread my arms out. "Isn't a Soulfinder's soul supposed to be worth so much more?"

"Is it really?" She asked, bemused. "You tell me. The way you're going about it – trading and bartering it like a piece of meat – doesn't make it seem all that valuable right now."

"How valuable is it supposed to be, then?"

"You shouldn't be thinking like this in the first place. A soul is a very precious thing. It's the one thing that will ever truly belong to you - the very core of you that makes you so special. You shouldn't take something like this for granted."

"Belong to me? That can't be true. If it was, I wouldn't still feel this way."

"What do you feel?"

I swallowed and grasped...begged for a word...a single word to describe this. "Agony."

"And you would rather be hollow?" The corner of the Warper's mouth turned down and I heard a twinge in her voice that I couldn't quite place. Disappointment... with the slightest hint of remorse.

"Yes." My answer flew out of my mouth without further prompting.

There was no triumphant smile. No glint in her pale green eyes. But she snatched the dagger out of Torak's hand and tossed it. I watched as it landed at my feet with a dull clang.

When I picked the weapon up, my hands were steady.

I won't be a burden anymore. Torak can live a full life and discover her potential where I no longer could. Tacyn will be with her sister again. I saved her. I saved them both.

I walked into the circle.

Sensation slipped out of me, as if into a puddle on the ground. Sticky magic commanded my limbs and stopped me from taking another breath.

An instinctive drive in what was left of my rapidly vacating mind fought against her control. But she overpowered it with ease and lifted the arm that held the dagger.

It quivered twice in midair. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the clay bowl. It sat peacefully still on the floor, oblivious to the turmoil that surrounded it.

I wanted to bleed into it.

I imagined my blood filling the bowl instead of being washed down a dark, dank drain disappearing into an abyss.

The knife plunged into my heart.

It pierced flesh but the skin and tendons weren't from my breast. And the hard, unyielding bone it struck was not a sternum.

The Warper's magic evaporated like mist against the shield that had coalesced from behind and wrapped itself around me.

I shuddered once.

The arm flung across my chest only tightened after being stabbed. It pulled me against a solid form as we staggered several steps backwards.

"Oh love…you must know you're worth so much more than this."

Happy new year!

I am so sorry for this delay. My computer has been giving me horrible grief with the word processors and even document uploading. ):

I hope the pace is still good. Things will start looking up soon, I promise.

Reader and Unknown, as always, I appreciate your reviews like no other. It makes me feel so indescribably happy when there are readers who care enough to follow a story for this long.