"Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both."
-Brené Brown

~Janco~

"I'm telling you, Ari: none of this would have happened if we only had badges." The soldier behind Janco grunted and shoved him for moving out of line.

Ari wisely kept his hands locked behind his head and kept still as they kneeled on the ground. "This again? You're really going to start this again?"

"Well this does happen only every single time it's been important."

"Are you sure you don't want the badge just to preen?"

"Oh I very much want to preen. You know how much I love having that...air of rank."

Ari snorted. "No that's something you'd have with or without the badge. Anyone sleeping next to you would know."

"Exac-wait. What was that supposed to me-ow! Alright, alright!" Janco hunkered and sat back down on his heels.

"Shelter" would be a generous thing to call the slanted, patched roof propped atop a makeshift wall that they were herded into. The harsh wind continued to ram against their fur lined cloaks from all sides, threatening to knock them over. The crunching of boots on snow and salt broke the silence.

"You came from the Commander?" A hooded figure with clear diamonds stitched onto the collar of her cloak approached and stepped onto the pavement.

Ari and Janco glanced up at the leader. She kept her face muffled but her voice remained as sharp and clear as the ice that pelted them. "Well?"

"Yes." Ari spoke before Janco could offend their hostess. "Permission to present papers?"

The soldier removed her mask and Ari promptly reached into his cloak and procured the documents.

She raised a slender eyebrow as she surveyed them, "Oh well I suppose that changes things."

Janco didn't need his throbbing ear, save for using it to hear that sardonic sneer, to know they were in trouble.

She tore the papers up and tossed the scraps over her shoulder; letting the wind carry them away into oblivion. Turning, she nodded gravely to her lieutenant. "You know what to do. The snow cats will eat well tonight."

Janco started but had his shoulders rammed down before he could get far. There was no reproof against Annie from anyone for what she had just said and done. So screwed. "…You can't!"

Annie whirled around. "Actually, I can." She smirked, bending down to Janco's level. "As you can see, my soldiers are loyal to me, before they will listen to some busybody who decided that he can just waltz in here from the Commander's cushy castle to tell us how to do our jobs."

Ari schooled his expression back into hard neutrality. "You will be court martialed if we don't report back within the week."

Annie threw him a feral smile, "Oh don't worry too much about us. Most folks disappear before they can even see the General's house. Terrible accidents."

"...Wait!" Ari used brute force to ram his way out of his captor and held out Yelena's parcel.

Annie took it warily. She opened it and after scanning only a few lines, a smile warm enough to melt the ice lit her features. "Now this really change things."

When permitted, it took all that was left of decades of training for the Power Twins to stand, and, remain conscious as they did so.

An hour later, General Kitivian laughed uproariously at the state of two of Castletown's best. He sobered and cleared his throat. "The Captain should be ready to accompany you to the traps by morning. And as you can see, no harm done."

Janco opened his mouth and gestured comically, "No harm done? No harm done?!"

The General only laughed again. "Oh that. Well you'll have to forgive Annie and her antics. She would have never let anything too terrible happen to you." He guffawed at his own alliteration. "But she does get rather bored up here sometimes."

At that moment, Annie strolled in and stepped dutifully behind the General's chair. Her face appeared nonchalant but her brown eyes simmered with a mischievous glint.

Kitivian wasted no time. "But just why would the security chief send two of his finest all the way up here to face certain accidental death?"

Ari stepped forward before Janco could make another impertinent remark. "He considers this a very important assignment, sir."

The General stroked his beard and leaned back in his chair. "Clearly we will both keep our secrets. But perhaps," He glanced at Annie, "we can both come to a level of understanding where we can be mutually useful to one another."

"That would imply we have a shared struggle." Janco pointed out.

"And to know that for certain we would have to be honest with each other for once." Kitivian replied. "So I will propose this: you tell me the real reason you're here, and the Captain will be honest with her report of the traps."

Ari and Janco turned to each other and commenced their silent communication.

We can just force him to tell us. Janco signaled.

We could end up wasting too much time. Ari replied.

Can we trust him though?

Ari considered and made the signal of Yelena and her magic.

They turned back to the General.

"The incident in MD-5." Ari confided. Technically confidential information, but news of this nature traveled fast enough by virtue of being a guarded secret.

Annie raised an eyebrow and jeered, "Which one?"

"They must be referring to that string of kidnappings and cruelty crimes." Kitivian replied. "I still say it's better to burn the whole district down. Cleanse the land of its evil and start over."

"I'm sure the Commander will happily acquiesce so long as you are willing and able to shoulder the bill for restorations. But oh wait you can't, can you?" Janco all but stuck his tongue out.

Exercising immense self-control from pouncing, the Captain turned to the General and, with his assent, calmly stepped forward. "The cats aren't biting…well, at least not as much as they used to."

~Yelena~

"…in short I will need to take some time off, sir." I held my breath as the Commander appraised me.

He propped his head up on his folded hands. "And how much time do you think you will need?"

"A season, hopefully less."

"Granted. Take an additional season if you need it."

I gasped and a "thank you" was all I could say.

The Commander nodded and to my added amazement, smiled. "You made a good decision. The most productive people are always the ones who remain cognizant of when they need rest."

"All the same, you have my gratitude. I am sorry about the mirror though. I will have it replaced."

"I hoped you would mention it. It is a relief to finally be able to do away with that gaudy frame."

I chuckled as I agreed.

I walked out the door with a smile flush with pride. Without hesitation, I made my way to the bathhouse. But this time I came with a dustpan and broom.

The mess hadn't been cleaned past making a satisfactory path to the actual facilities. Shards of glass were pushed errantly aside and the split silver frame already began to collect dust on the ground. After disposing of the larger pieces, I crouched down and began to hunt for the smaller pieces.

Several minutes later, a scrape on the stone floor made me look up.

Torak and Tacyn both smiled at me as they lifted the heavy frame up. It remained cumbersome as they tried to take it out of the room. A third pair of hands landed on it when I stood to help them.

Maren grinned at me before walking the now lightened load out with the sisters.

When I emptied the dustpan and came back in, Dilana was there. Our hands brushed briefly as she took it from me and cleaned up the last pile. "You seemed lonely. So we all decided to help."

She pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to me when the tears spilled over. "You would've done the exact same thing for any one of us. It's why we love you so much, Yelena."

Hours later, we relaxed at the tavern over a feast complete with drinks.

"I honestly can't say which is worse." Tacyn said amidst bubbling laughter. "But cleaning other people's rooms does mean seeing sides of them you'd never hope to see. Servers only have to deal with ugly conversations and atrocious manners every once in a while."

"You're not supposed to be looking through private belongings." Torak admonished and shoved her playfully.

"No, but things left so carelessly out in the open are fair game!"

"Like what?" Dilana asked, genuinely curious.

She leaned forward conspirator's intent. "Anything you can imagine. Lascivious love notes, black market Greenblade cigars, and of course, undergarments of all different sizes. You'd never belie-"

I blinked but by the time I regained my focus, she had finished talking.

Maren tsked. And when they all turned to her, she explained the reason for her disapproval. "Shouldn't have admitted that middle one...front...Liaision..."

"Yelena?" Dilana shook her head and admonished, "...can't...even...her? I know-"

The cotton thickened in my ears. I craned my head as if it'd help me hear better. Their very movements slowed from my exertion. Heads lolled from side to side. Hands hovered in midair for hours before they came back down.

They all watched me.

My mouth was dry and I was afraid to open my mouth lest dust fall out of it. I made a strained noise and my nails dug into the wood of the table.

A warm hand covered each of mine. Maren and Dilana both squeezed, gently anchoring me back.

"It's alright." Maren said.

My frustrated tears indicated it was anything but. I wanted to cut all my skin off. I wanted to carve this aching heart out so that I could go back to numbness. I wanted to run out into the night and scream.

Dilana threw her arms around me and suddenly I could only remember the stinging in my eyes. "You're fine. You really are. We're here for you, Yelena."

I shut my eyes and let her hold me. Maren rubbed my back comfortingly.

Patience, I forced myself to say in my head, even when a critical part of me wouldn't believe it. I must remember to be patient with myself.

~Janco~

His hand shook as he inched back into the sunlight that filtered in through the trees. He gripped the cloak tighter against his chest and shivered furiously as he lifted the foot that now seemed to weigh a thousand pounds. It was too damn cold.

Ari collided behind him when he slowed. His boot slipped on the white ice and he nearly toppled to the ground. Discretion was key in this operation, so a muffled curse and gritted teeth was all that he was allowed.

The Captain's hand remained steady as she gestured for them to follow. She walked gracefully ahead on the ice toward the next trap.

A tense pause ensued until Annie turned and gave the all-clear signal. Janco inched closer and saw the meat from the night before frozen onto the barbed wires.

"As you can see," Annie gestured to the other traps beyond them, "They're just not hungry."

"And the snow cats trust the food?" Ari asked as he knelt down. "Your recent projects may be deterring them."

"We know how to handle them!" She snapped.

"He was only asking because it seemed reasonable to consider all the variables." His own discomfort forgotten, Janco rushed in to defend his friend.

"You sure that's the only thing you're considering?"

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Do I really need to spell it out for you? Or do you prefer me to put it in writing and properly process that paperwork to whatever department you'd make up just for this business?" Annie mimed writing on an imaginary document in her open palm.

"Ah I see." Janco snorted. "You can't get to the boss so you're trying to kill the messengers. Do you feel better about yourself now?"

"The seconds of the Security Chief. Hardly messengers. I know the real reason you're here. You think we're involved." She glanced sharply at Ari who looked up from his investigation. "And we're not."

"Right. Because the General would never involve himself with Southerners, now would he?" Ari crossed his massive arms. "Unless there was a profit to be made."

"It's hardly a profit if it'd all go into feeding hungry citizens and their children. He'd go as far as it takes for them." She furiously hurled her thick cloak forward and trekked on.

They walked in silence before Janco broke it a minute later. He stopped several feet ahead of them and turned his head. "And just how far is 'as far as it takes' these days?"

Ari snuck a wary glance at his partner and touched the hilt of his sword.

Annie seethed sharply against her teeth. "For the last time: we have nothing to do with those crimes. If you honestly believed the General was capable of that kind of cruelty, then you don't know him at all."

Unfazed, Janco stroked the goatee at his chin and glanced down at something in the snow. "Well you're going to have to be convincing with that. Because you're already in pretty deep shit."

She pushed past him with Ari close behind. The sight made the formidable Captain gasp with sheer terror. Ari paled.

Janco nodded grimly. "Humans are probably a lot more filling than a couple of chickens. They didn't even have to finish all the food."

But the Captain seemed to have recovered. She shed her cloak and forced herself to walk up to the half devoured corpse where she wordlessly covered it with the garment.

~Yelena~

Kiki nudged me. I procured the expected apple and she munched contently. My girl was entitled to one every day for the rest of the month to make up for all the ones she didn't get the past two seasons.

For as the weeks passed and we proceeded into the Thawing Season, my life had fallen into a comfortable, dependable routine.

I spent mornings riding before a brief glimpse at servants running beside soldiers inspired me to join them. Afternoons I spent on walks with Maren or helping Dilana in the sewing room. Even though conversation was still difficult, they continued to enthusiastically seek me out and I grew to look forward to the company.

One day, Maren and I stopped at the training field and leaned against the fence to watch two men in the middle of the match. He had an admirable adversary but Valek easily disarmed him within a minute. The sun reflected off his knives as he used a sleight of hand to spin them back into their hidden places.

Maren shook her head. "Why do people still think knives are a good idea?" She touched my arm. "I've got to run. But we're still on for tonight?"

"Definitely."

She grinned and strolled away.

Valek caught sight of me and grinned. He climbed over the fence and we walked back to the castle together, making occasional small talk.

Halfway there, I notified him of my dinner plans with Maren; that I was going to be late coming back tonight.

"For someone who is supposed to be in respite, you seem to have been keeping quite busy." But his voice was kind and even buoyant.

"Believe it or not, sitting by myself in the corner is actually more draining for me. People give me energy."

The introvert nodded in a way to indicate that he could never understand.

"But I'm not the only one being odd. You already have second-in-commands, don't you?" I teased. "Unless the positions are likely to be open again?"

He laughed. "That would be implying that someone might actually win."

"Cocky as ever." But I grinned back. "It could be a heavy risk – especially if you were hoping to stay indispensable."

"The fact that I am still with you means I have an inexorable addiction to risk, love."

My face fell and I crunched a twig beneath my boot.

But he brushed his shoulder against mine and leaned close. "I have to be if I could never seem to pass up a foolhardy opportunity to impress you."

"I'm already impressed."

"Are you?"

"Hmm." I feigned nonchalance. "Yes. And it's probably because I'm in love." I took his hand in both of mine and smiled at him.

"…Yes" He gripped mine in return, his head tilted as he appraised me.

"What is it?"

"It's just been…a while since I've seen you this way. You need to keep doing whatever it is you're doing." His eyes shone with selfless joy.

"Seen me in what way?"

"You're…glowing, love."

In more ways than one. I felt a warmth unfurl through my body that I couldn't remember feeling for the longest time. It felt so different from the icy sensation of a knife slicing into me. Everything did – the cramps from laughing too hard with my friends…the flush of pride as the Commander smiled at me in approval…the way the light of the new day now flowed through me like a warm bath as opposed to an icy river of dread.

…when did this even happen?

Sorry about the delay! Please review!