DON'T HATE ME I LOVE YOU OKAY! I'M SORRY I'M A BAD PERSON BUT SUMMER'S HERE SO I CAN UPDATE MORE I TOTALLY PROMISE OKAY DON'T HATE ME PLS! HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER OKAY I'M SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A BAD UPDATER BUT CHAPTER OKAY YAY!
It was Friday.
The Friday I had waited for all week and now I dreaded it. I stood in front of my costume, wrapped in my towel as I had just got out of the shower and stared at it wondering if it would look stupid. I decided on being Charli XCX for Halloween. I was almost positive no one had known of her and that was good so that I wouldn't have to nervously and angrily glare at someone who had the same costume the entire night. Plus, the costume was basically just clothes I already.
Realizing that there was no time to reconsider another outfit or costume and that even if I did look stupid it was Halloween and it would be acceptable, I started to get dressed. The outfit consisted of a pleated plaid skirt that came down to my mid-thigh, which would be inappropriate to my dad but luckily he wasn't here to criticize, a long-sleeved baseball tee crop top that had the word slime written across it in actual slime lettering and a pair of black platform sneakers that I was sure I wouldn't wear again after tonight.
I let my hair air dry and get really naturally curly and messy because that was what she did. I ran through some strands with some color chalk in blue and green and curled some strands to contrast with the messiness that was my natural hair. For my makeup, I put thick eyeliner on the top of my eyelids and underneath, I started out in the middle really thin and got thicker as I went to the corner to connect with the top line with a wing at the corner. I put some mascara on and replaced my regular boring cherry ChapStick that only gave me a tint of red with a dark red lipstick.
I stepped back for the mirror and looked at myself. I turned different angles and tried to make sure I looked pretty similar to her or as I close as I could get. When I looked at the clock, I realized that even if I wanted to fix something I literally had no time. I grabbed my small black leather studded crossbody bag and put my phone, lipstick, my ticket and keys in it and ran out of my room, turning the lights off and making sure the windows and doors were closed as I went past each room. I locked the front door and closed it, hoping I didn't forget anything.
I put one earphone in and played Arctic Monkeys as I walked to school. Of course, I had the option of Eli driving me but I wanted my costume to be a surprise, not that it was much of a big deal but I just wanted him to see it there at the dance for the first time. Nonetheless, as I walked, I wished that I had took up Eli's offer to take me. It was scary walking in the dark, even if Alex Turner's voice was there to keep me company just a little.
The dark was basically the unknown. As you walked, anything could pop out from the shadows and that was what scared me the most. You had nothing to prepare you for it or save you from it. You had no forewarning or disclaimer to warn you about the dangers that lurked in the darkness. You just had to hope that you would be okay and that you could reach your phone quickly enough to get help.
As I slowly distanced myself little by little from the thoughts of the creatures in the dark, I realized that subconsciously I had started walking faster and somehow ended up down the street from Degrassi. Before I could get caught by an unknown creature that was probably being created in my mind, I started running down the street I was on. I almost fell multiple time trying to run with platforms on but I had made it to the corner at the end of the street and stopped. Right there was where I would be visible to the anyone walking into school, so I got my breath back, wrapped my earphones around my phone as I put it back into my bag and continued the rest of my walk from that corner to the front door of Degrassi as I had been cool, calm and collected the whole way there.
As I got closer to the front steps, the music from inside started to make its way into earshot. I walked in and gave the person I had seen around school a couple of times my ticket and got the permission to go. The hallway that lead to the auditorium was the only one that was decorated. The lights were off except for two lights at the end of the hallway, one orange and one light that were probably only there to help lead the way. The lockers had cottony webs spread across them and different miscellaneous Halloween symbol stickers. I walked past the bad decorations and opened the door of the auditorium to a room that looked decorated by a complete inverse of the decorators of the hallway.
There were strobe lights of white flashing all around the dimly lit room that had a filter of orange that I couldn't tell where it was coming from. There was decorations all over the walls. A table had food and drinks and a punch bowl that looked like smoke was coming from it. People walked around in costumes, pouring what could only be alcohol from their mini bottles into their punch cups and cheering with partnering costumed drinkers. I tried to find any of the two people that I knew before I walked into the crowd of people that were dancing to the various tune played by the DJ in the front of the auditorium.
As I walked around looking for Cam or Eli, I had no choice but to scan over the costumes that had paraded the dance. The typical mummy, vampire and pirate that I had seen every year was displayed about 5 times by different people but what stunned me or rather took away my confidence was most of the girls costumes. Of course, I knew that Halloween was the day when girls cut half their clothes up and put them on and called it a costume. I myself though, was never confident enough to walk out of the house with a leotard that had a cotton ball on the butt and heels. That was also considering the fact that I was never confident at all but I just didn't understand the hype of being half naked for a night. It could have been the attention of the guys, who as I watched were mesmerized by the groups of girls that walked past in nothing. Personally though, I'd rather have one single guy that liked me for wearing clothes than a group of sex hungry teenage boys who were only looking at the fact that the leotard would be quicker to get off in bed than actually clothing. Nonetheless, I still sucked in my stomach, pulled down my crop top and damned the goodness of pizza whenever I saw a girl who effortlessly had a thin waist and a thigh gap to match.
"Don't laugh when you look at me." I heard a familiar voice say behind me.
I turned around to see Cam standing in a Batman costume with his mask in his hand. His hair was plastered to his forehead and he looked annoyed and frustrated.
"What's wrong with Batman? Gotham City already had another caped crusader booked for tonight?" I laughed, there was no way that I couldn't crack a joke at a generally annoyed Batman.
"What's wrong with Batman is that no one told him that this costume was approximately the temperature of the Sahara desert." He said, fanning himself with the mask.
"Well, I mean you could give half of your costume to one of these lovely ladies who obviously accidentally lost some of theirs on the way here."
"Yeah, or we could just switch. I always dreamed of being a Playboy bunny for Halloween one year, the idea just didn't sit well with my mom." Cam said and we both laughed together, then he paused and looked at me, "So, did you see your boyfriend yet?"
"He's not my boyfriend. And no, I haven't seen him."
"Yet you still automatically thought of him when I said that." Cam said, with a smirk as he dramatically put his mask back on, "And there's your prince charming now."
When Cam said 'prince charming' I expected to see Eli in a knight costume but what I saw surprised me even more. Eli was walking towards me, wearing a collared dark wash denim long sleeve shirt, black skinny jeans, acid wash denim Vans and his hair was held back out of his face by a gray beanie. I'd be lying if I said he didn't look extremely attractive but of course, I'd lie to Eli.
"Gothic cheerleader?" he asked, once he got over to me.
"I think I'd need pom-poms for that. I'm Charli XCX," I waited but not long for him to acknowledge the fact that he had no clue who she was much like everyone then I moved onto him, "And you're?"
"Oh, I'm a regular teenage boy." He said, no hint of sarcasm or joking. Well, his costume fit the description, "I decided to be normal for a change."
"Normal is boring." I smirked, twirling around a piece of newly green hair.
"And that's why I'm never bored." He retorted back, smiling before he took a sip of something in a cup. And I said something because who knew what was actually in there. I didn't want him to drink because last time I was with him and he was drunk was probably in the top ranking of the worst nights of my life. Halloween was my favorite holiday and so far everything about this night was good and I couldn't let alcohol ruin it, if it was here.
"So," I tried to be subtle about it, "Is the punch good?"
"I guess," he shrugged, looking at me with a confused expression, "It's just regular punch."
"Regular punch," I repeated, relieved, "Cool."
"Yeah," he laughed, "No alcohol, yet anyways."
"Yet?"
"Yeah yet!" he said, "Come on, you can't possibly expect me to get through a night with everyone in here without having a little to drink, you couldn't have thought that!"
But the thing was, I did think that. I didn't think that he'd need any type of alcohol to spend a night with me. I wasn't bad, and maybe it had nothing to do with me at all, but if I was with him, wouldn't that be enough to cope with the idiocy that filled the school? But that was the overachiever in me, once again I had thought so highly of myself that I thought Eli would put the alcohol away for one Friday night just for me. I couldn't let Eli see that I cared so much about it, considering it was probably stupid anyways. So, I plastered that fake smile that got me everywhere on and pretended that conversation had no effect on me at all.
I told Eli that I wanted to go get some punch, he offered to walk me but I said that I'd go on my own and be back. Part of me was going over there get punch but the other part was going over to the Batman with sandy brown hair who was occupying the punch table with eyes that were watching Eli and I since the minute he walked over. When I starting walking over, he pretended to be looking at everyone else in the room except me and Eli.
"Because I'm totally convinced that you weren't just staring at me and Eli that whole time." I said, grabbing a cup and pouring juice in it with the spoon.
"I wasn't," he said, then shrugged, giving up ahead of time, "Okay, I was. And from what I saw, you two absolutely did not talk about feelings."
"That's because there's no feelings to discuss." I said, or lied if you wanted to be technical.
"I didn't want it to come to this." Cam muttered, grabbing my hand and dragging me across the auditorium out to the hallway.
"Where are you taking me?!" I asked, holding my cup far away from my partial white shirt as I was practically running behind the speed walking Cam.
He didn't answer me but instead kept pulling me until we got to a closet. He opened it and pointed inside, "There's something in there that you have to get."
"What?" I asked, confused.
I walked into the closet, pretty puzzled on what I would need to get inside an empty closet. I squinted my eyes to see into the pitch darkness and couldn't see anything really. I turned around to ask Cam what it was that I needed and before I could blink, the door slammed shut and I heard a click. My eyes widened and I ran to the door, grabbing the knob, trying to turn it and get out but he locked it. The window was blurred and I could only see a shadow walking away.
"You motherfucker!" I yelled, filled with anger as I was trapped in a closet for who knows how long, "If you don't unlock this door, I will break it down and beat you with the door!"
As I realized he was gone and no one was probably going to walk past this closet anymore, I gave up and leaned against the wall. Why would Cam lock me in here? It made absolutely no sense. Was this where I was supposed to reflect on my thoughts and then give a report on how what I did was wrong and why I would never do it again? My mom used to make me do them when I was younger. I usually always just watched TV during that time and made up a bullshit answer that she would praise happily. I guess I didn't realize until now that I had to put in thought into making up the bullshit answer and that was the point, just to think.
Before my brain started to reminisce more on my childhood, I heard muffled voices coming into earshot. I listened closely and heard two voices, both of which were familiar but they couldn't be together, I mean, why would they be? But as I kept listening, lo and behold, it was Eli and Cam together.
"Why is she trapped in a closet?" I heard Eli said.
"I have no clue!" Cam said and my mouth widened in surprise and anger as I heard him lie, "I tried to open it but nothing budged, maybe you could get it. I'll try one last time."
Cam came over and did something, making the same clicking sound as before. Then he told Eli that he still couldn't get it in which Eli came over and opened it right away. I took a deep breath as I was about to walk out when Eli said, "Why were you trapped in a closet?" And before we both knew it, Eli was being pushed in the closet and by domino effect, I was being pushed back in as well. The door was closed again and the click came one more time, indicating a lock.
"You two are going to talk about your feelings!" Cam called from outside the door, "And I'm standing right out here to make sure it happens!"
"Right," Eli said, louder than his normal voice I suppose so that Cam could hear, "Our feelings, that's what we're talking about!" Then his voice lowered down to his regular volume and he said, "What feelings are we supposed to be talking about?"
I hesitated to tell him what it was as my fear of rejection crept its way into my mind. I didn't want to be in a closet with him as he said that he thought about us as friends, just friends. And that the kiss was just a kiss, an emotionless kiss. I still had the unknown to hold onto, I could still say that maybe he thought about me as more than a friend, maybe the kiss was more to him too, but now in this moment, I'd have to face the truth, I'd have to know what was between us and if there was something between us.
"Our feelings," I paused, still not completely okay with the thought of knowing but also knowing that I wouldn't get out of this closet unless I knew, "Towards each other. I told Cam about our kiss, which was also my first kiss by the way, and now he's convinced we have feelings for each other, which is completely false, right?"
"Well," Eli trailed.
I stopped. My breath shortened and my heart stopped. Hesitation. He hesitated, he didn't flat out answer, he didn't flat out tell me there was nothing between us. That meant there was hope, hope that something was between us. Hope that all this time that I thought that I liked someone I had no chance with, there was actually a chance that he might have liked me back.
CLIFFHANGERRRRRRR, but luckily the next chapter will be up pretty soon so you won't be hanging on too long, but in the meantime please review and tell me what you think because i love you and i really really wanna know your opinions and what you think and i just want to know your feelings okay review please! :)