This story got a BUNCH of hits. More than my other story, actually, and I actually got a review ( jansails. Thank you SO much for taking time out of your day to review my story)

So, I decided to keep writing, after being unsure if I wanted to follow up immediately.

And remember to keep leaving reviews, because they give me an incentive to write, and remember to leave a follow or fav if you want more.

fajitaprincessa

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I never had a lot of friends when I was younger.

Not even now, really. Through the years, between being moved back and forth between Charlie and Renee, miles apart, working flimsy jobs at cafes and babysitting to pay for my mom's prescription drugs, and making sure Charlie dust drown in his own vomit and alcohol, I never really made time for people in general.

No, and I was always okay with that. I managed to push away the cold feeling of being alone by burying myself in books and coffee and sitting around with my mom, listening to her slurring words, talking her down after she would wake up screaming after a nightmare. I would sit across from Charlie at the dinner table and at least try to talk to him, at least before he went into some alcohol-induced coma.

I was always okay with occupying myself with my family, putting an extra few dollars on the kitchen counter, trying to keep us together, try to make it feel as though we were something like a family.

But after years of keeping myself hidden, years of occupying myself with thoughts of if my mom had taken her drugs today or if Charlie would make it to live another 24 hours, people start to questions and people start to pry.

Jessica Stanley was something like a friend to me. Of course, we only ever talked during school, and sometimes we would cross paths at the Newton's Sporting Goods Store, but other than that, we weren't that close.

One day, while emptying out the contents of my locker, preparing to find home and make dinner for mom, Jessica stopped me. "Do you feel like hanging out this weekend?"

The question itself catches me off guard, considering the fact Jessica or anyone for that matter had ever approached me with the intent of asking me to spend time with them. But I said no, saying that my mom would be worried if I didn't get back home soon enough.

"Really?" Jessica frowned slightly, her brown eyes scanning my face. "Oh." She runs her fingers through her brown hair. "Are you sure?"

I closed my locker. "Yeah. I have to make sure she's eating right, you know. Her pains meds sometimes make her lose her appetite, so..."

"Doesn't it ever get tiring..." Jessica said suddenly, perking up again. I froze, pressing my lips into a fine line. She back pedaled, eyebrows raised in questions. "You know, having to constantly take care of someone?"

I swallowed. "Well, someone has to do it-"

"But like," Jessica's lips turn up slightly and her brown eyes are narrowed slightly. "Doesn't it ever... well, make you wanna go crazy?" She laughed lightly, shaking her head in disbelief. "I know I couldn't do it. Shit, if I had to constantly watch over someone like that I'd fucking. Go. Insane."

Jessica has to know she's crossed a boundary saying that, but that's Jessica, unfiltered, slightly apathetic, sometimes cold and uncaring. She had to have seen the way my fingers gripped my books and how I was grinding my teeth. But there's still this sly look on her face, even though she's trying her hardest to look concerned.

"No," I said, finally, letting out a sigh of exasperation. "It's fine. It makes me feel good to know that I can help out."

Jessica stared at me for a few moments, balancing on the balls of her feet, before shaking her head again, chuckling. "If you say so, Bella." Someone shouts her name and few seconds later, Mike Newton's head peeks from around a corner. "Gotta go, Bells. Tell your mom I said hi."

She runs to Mike, placing a kiss on his cheek, and Mike waved at me. "You coming?"

I shook my head, and Jessica shrugged, nudging him, urging him to hurry up and leave with her. Mike's eye linger on my face before he smiles and waves me a goodbye. "See you around then, Swan," and he leaves, Jessica giggling at his side.

That same night, as I'm hovering over the kitchen counter, shaking out meds for my mom, my hand tighten, my mind having drifting to Jessica's words earlier that day.

Shit, if I had to constantly watch over someone like that I'd fucking. Go. Insane.

"Bella?" My mother cooed from the living room. "Bella, are you okay?"

What does she know, I thought, stuffing the bottle of pills into a counter and gripping the capsules. About me. About my family...

"My pills, Bella."

I freeze.

Is that all I am? A babysitter?

It's selfish, I know. But I've had to sacrifice- friends, someone to love me- for my parents. For Charlie's addiction, I've had to give up so much, so much to force bottles out of his hand, to pick him up at bus stops after a late night of drinking. For Renee's pains, making sure she slept good, making sure she ate, bathing her, rousing her out of sleep to drink water to take her pills...

If Renee, or Charlie, just... just died, would life for me be that bad...?

... would it?

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"Sometimes I think Mike doesn't even really like me. Really, I think he only likes my ass..."

Jessica chats away in my ear as Angela walks close beside me, talking about some new bookstore she found in Seattle.

I can describe Angela as being much more sincere and compassionate than Jessica. There have been times in the middle of the night when I've woken her up and cried to her on the phone, and times when she's had to drive me to the hospital with shallow cuts and dark bruises from Charlie's alcohol-induced fury.

Really, Angela's the only person I'll miss when everyone leaves for college this year and I stay here, waking up to the same walls, same morning gloom.

"... I really wished you would've been able to come with me, Bella," Angela said, a sad smile crossing her face. I nudge her.

"Maybe if you're good I'll spend a night out with you before you leave for college," I said and laughed. She smiled.

"It's not too late to apply to FSU, Bella. You don't have to stay here," Angela said, gripping my hand. "Listen, you have really good grades. There's no way they'd turn you down-"

"Bella has parents she needs to take care of, Ang," Jessica interrupted, her eyes glancing over to me, a smile gracing her face. "Besides, we'll write."

Oh, Jessica.

"Maybe Mike will get accepted into UCLA, too, Jess, you know, so you won't have to drive down here all the time to see him." She clenched her jaw. "I mean, I know state rejected him, but I mean, if he applies himself good enough this year-"

Jessica was so close to whipping around and spitting back another cruel remark, disguised in that sugary-sweet tone of hers, no doubt something about my mother, or my dad, or my pathetic excuse for a life, sugarcoated so Angela wouldn't catch in to the demeaning undertones in it. But before she even had the chance to snap back, a locker slams shut loudly and I jump.

A tall boy with longish hair and copper skin walks into view, a backpack slung over his shoulder. He walks right past the three of us, but not before giving us all a once-over, his dark eyes locking onto my face. He flashed me a grin.

"Nice scar," he said, gesturing towards the line going through my right eyebrow, before he continues off.

Angela, after the stranger walks off, lets out a breath, then, she grins, laughing a little. "Looks like Bella has an admirer now, huh?"

I shove her playfully, but I still do look behind me at the disappearing mane of dark hair. "He was okay."

Jessica remains silent, no doubt still angry, bitter at not being able to bite back at me. "Mike's probably waiting for me. I told him I'd go off campus with him at lunch." Jessica shot Angela a look. "You coming, Ang?"

Angela shook her head. "I think I'll hang with Bella. You go on, though," and she slung an arm around my shoulders, grinning ear to ear.

Jessica looked like she wanted to stay, to say somethint, but then she seemingly decided against it and shrugged. "Suit yourself," she said, then walked off.

Angela waited until she was out of earshot before she said," She's just jealous because for once, she's not the center of attention."

"What are you talking about?"

Angela rolled her eyes. "Really, Bella? That guy was totally checking you out!"

"Him?" I scrunched my eyebrows together and laughed. "That's rich, Angela."

"Maybe. But I mean, he just totally ignored Jessica and me. Maybe Jess finally has competition."

I'm not entirely joking when I answer Angela.

"Maybe so..."

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- Fajitaprincessa