Author's Note: I have seriously never written this much in one day. Four chapters. Wow. Nearly 30 pages. I love not being in school for the first time in 19 years. Preschool through college through student teaching is a lot of school. And yet somehow I still want to be a teacher. Oh well.

-36-

"Say it again!" Ryll told Merlin, grinning.

He grinned back at her. "Welcome home," he repeated for the third time, humoring her.

She was nearly jumping up and down with excitement at returning to Camelot. She was riding Owl whom she and Merlin had retrieved before they'd left Hengist's castle behind. She'd looked around for Gryphon but the black charger was gone. She assumed Lancelot must have taken him. She was in a giddy mood now, all the anger and pain from the last week was washed away at the sight of the clean white towers of Camelot. Arthur and Gwen rode ahead of them, speaking quietly. Ryll wondered what the future held for them. Clearly Arthur cared for her. She could tell by the way he carried himself around her. She smiled. She knew Uther wouldn't ever approve, but if there was one thing she'd learned about Arthur, it was that he didn't always do everything his father told him to. Uther had forbidden him from going after Gwen, but he had anyway. Ryll had insisted that Arthur tell Uther that she and Merlin had rescued Gwen so that he wouldn't get into any trouble, but he'd refused.

"I'm not afraid to face my father on this," he had said. "It was the right thing to do, and he'll have to accept that."

"Morgana is going to be thrilled," Merlin told Ryll now as they rode closer to the castle gates. "She gets two friends back today."

They were greeted in the courtyard by Uther. He had a stern look on his face, but when he saw all of them alive and well, his expression softened slightly.

"Father, let me explain," Arthur started, but Uther held up a hand.

"I'm glad to have you back safely, all of you. Right now, that is what matters." He turned to Ryll who bowed her head in respect. "Amaryllis, it seems that I knew your parents," he said. She looked up in surprise. "I am sorry for sending you into exile."

"You did what you had to, My Lord. I broke your laws."

"And saved my son and my ward and my people. You are welcome back in Camelot."

"Thank you. You are generous," Ryll said, bowing her head again. "I will seek to deserve your clemency."

"Your company means a lot to Morgana. That will be enough."

They handed their horses off to the stable hands. Arthur helped Gwen dismount, but dropped her hand quickly after she was safely on the ground. "Let's go see Morgana," he said. "She'll want to know that you're safe."

"I'll come to see her later," Ryll said. "Gwen deserves her attention now. You've been through a lot." Gwen smiled, taking Ryll's hands.

"Thank you for everything," she said. "I don't know what I would have done without you."

"You're strong, Gwen. You would have been just fine." She squeezed her hands before letting go and following Merlin toward the Physician's Quarters. Before they got too far, however, Merlin stopped, pulling Ryll into a secluded passage.

"What are you doing?" Ryll asked, laughing.

"This." He leaned forward and kissed her. She kissed him back, happiness coursing through her. "I'm so glad you're back," he said, leaning his forehead against hers.

She couldn't stop smiling. "Me too." She kissed him again before taking his hand and pulling him down the hall. "Let's not get caught lurking in deserted corridors," she teased.

"Are we going to tell anyone?" Merlin asked.

"Tell them what?" she returned, smiling mischievously.

"Tell them about us," Merlin replied. She turned to look at him.

"We should figure out what this is before we tell anyone," Ryll said after a moment.

"Of course." He blushed.

"Don't ever think that I'm ashamed," Ryll told him quickly. "If you want, I could tell Arthur right now and then all the knights and even Uther."

"That won't be necessary," Merlin said, sounding horrified. "Let's just wait."

"This is about us right now, not everyone else and what they think of it. This is our chance."

"I still don't really get why you would pick me," Merlin said. He looked shy suddenly, and Ryll shook her head.

"Why would you question that?" she asked.

"Because, well, I'm me. I'm a servant. I'm clumsy and awkward most of the time. I'm not some knight or prince or-" He waved an arm about, trying to come up with whatever else he wasn't.

"But that's exactly why I like you," Ryll said, saving him the trouble. "Because you are you. I don't need a prince or a knight. You're real, Merlin. You might be clumsy sometimes, but that doesn't make you any less amazing to me."

"I'm so lucky to have you. You're beautiful and brave and would lay down your life for those you care about. You don't look down on people for being servants. To you everyone deserves the same treatment – unless of course they're thugs like Hengist."

"I've had a lot of rough patches in my life. I've begged and scraped and relied on the kindness of others long enough to realize that it all comes down to that. You showed me kindness from the start. In my life, that counts for a lot."

"It's not fair that you've had so many difficult years in your life, but I promise, this time it will be different."

"I always tell you that I can take care of myself, that I don't ever need help, that I can defend myself, but Merlin, I want you to take care of me now. Every once in awhile at least. I'm not going to keep pushing you away when you try to reach out to me. Sometimes I need to rely on someone other than myself. It's just taken me a long time to learn this."

"I won't ever let anything bad happen to you," he promised.

"I know."

…

Ryll knocked on Morgana's door an hour later after having said hello to Gaius. She'd smiled at Merlin as she'd left the room, and when he smiled back it was as if the sun had suddenly flooded the entire room. Ryll had never felt so happy. She tried not to be selfish, but in that moment, she realized how much she deserved to feel happy. After all she had been through, all that had past, it was time.

Morgana opened the door after a moment. "Ryll!" she cried out, throwing her arms around her friend. Ryll hugged her back. "You're back! I'm so glad you're safe! Uther told me he had lifted your exile. He thought it would comfort me after he refused to go after Gwen. And now I have both of my friends back."

"And you don't have to lose me again," Ryll assured her. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I missed you so much," Morgana said, finally letting her go.

"I've missed you too. It feels like it's been so long since I last set foot in Camelot."

"It was too long."

"Uther actually apologized to me," Ryll told Morgana.

"I didn't know he knew how," Morgana said bitterly.

"He realized his mistake. He realized how much you missed me. He did this for you, Morgana. Not me. He really does care about you."

"I know," Morgana said, her tone softening. "I'm just sorry he didn't think Gwen was important enough to be rescued."

"But now she is safe and well. Let's not dwell on the past few days."

"You must be exhausted. You can have the room next to mine again. It hasn't been changed. I'll have one of the maids put fresh blankets on the bed. I've given Gwen the day off, of course. She's been through so much. I owe her my life."

"She's a good friend," Ryll agreed. "And so are you. You spoke up for her when no one else would."

"I would have gone after her myself if Arthur hadn't agreed to rescue her. I couldn't condemn her to her death."

"Hengist is dead now, so we won't be seeing any more of him," Ryll assured her.

"Good. For what he put Gwen through, he deserves that."

"He had a lot of blood on his hands," Ryll agreed. "I know I feel safer with him gone."

"You knew him?" Morgana asked.

"It's a long story."

"If you want to share it, I'll listen," Morgana told her. "But you should get some rest now. You've had a long few days. Let me find a maid to make your bed."

Ten minutes later, Ryll was settled into her bed once more. It was the most comfortable that she had been in a very long time. As she lay down, something prodded her in the side. She pulled an object out of her pocket that she had long ago forgotten about. The little wooden figurine. It was still somehow intact. She set the horse and rider on her bedside table. When she and Merlin had gone back for horses, she'd taken back her sword from Hengist's dead body – well, what remained of it. His beast hadn't left much left, but the sword remained untouched. She placed this next to her bed, smiling. "One step closer to knighthood," she told herself sleepily before she drifted off.

…

Ryll fell into a routine in the following weeks. She visited with Morgana every day, going riding with her and sitting and talking for hours. She told Morgana everything she had learned about her childhood and everything she had kept secret about her past. It felt good to be opening up to someone, just as she had felt when she'd told Lancelot. She'd also told Merlin. He'd sat quietly and when she had finished, he'd told her that he could never think any less of her.

They'd been spending time together as well though not as much as they would have liked. Merlin was kept busy taking care of Arthur, and they didn't show affection for each other in public. Ryll was afraid that Arthur would tease him. She knew he would be astonished and not in a complimentary way. She had to admit, once she started borrowing Morgana's dresses again, she looked more fit to be on the arm of a knight, but that wasn't want she wanted. Merlin could make her smile and laugh like no one else she knew. He was always kind to her, always thinking of her. This was something Ryll had never had before. She wasn't always sure of what to say and do around him, but then she remembered that he was also her friend.

She took turns dining with Uther, Arthur, and Morgana and with Merlin and Gaius. She was surprised that Uther had let her rejoin them for dinner, but they all kept up a polite conversation. Uther even told her stories of her parents sometimes. She found herself looking forward to dinner with him. It was a treat hearing stories she'd never heard before, learning new bits about her parents that she'd never known. Uther told her that she and Morgana used to play together when they were very young.

"Your father was friends with Gorlois, Morgana's father," he said. "He was once a knight of Camelot, you know. One of the best. It was a shame when he was injured in battle. He decided he wanted to spend more time with his wife and newborn daughter after that."

"What was my mother like?" Ryll asked.

"She was always kindhearted and soft-spoken," Uther said. "You look just like her, you know. She was good friends with my wife."

"Arthur's mother?" Arthur and Uther never talked about her. "What was she like?" she asked. "If you don't mind me asking," she added quickly.

"It's alright," Uther said. "She was also very kind. She had her own quiet way for standing up for what she believed in. She wanted a child so badly. Arthur was a blessing."

"I'm sorry you lost her," Ryll said to both Arthur and Uther. "I can relate."

"Losing ones parents is something unjust," Uther agreed. "No child should have to go through that at such a young age." He looked at Morgana. "You've all lost so much at such a young age. Let us take heart in our present company." He raised his glass. They reciprocated the action, taking a sip of wine.

Later that night, Ryll went to visit Merlin, finding herself feeling sad. Sometimes thinking about her parents brought her joy – now that she could actually remember some of her past, it was wonderful to envision their faces again – but other times she felt great sadness, realizing just what had been ripped away from her.

They sat in his room, across from each other on his bed, and talked. He told her a little of his mother who lived in Ealdor. He didn't know who his father was. His mother hadn't ever spoken of him.

"That would be difficult not knowing," she said.

"It is, but I like to just believe that he was a great man."

Ryll nodded. "I hadn't really thought much about Arthur losing his mother. But I wonder now if Uther would be different if she was still alive. I got the feeling she was a little more soft-spoken – perhaps a little fairer than Uther. She might have balanced him out. I think sometimes he's so afraid of losing Arthur that he forgets how to show his affection for him."

"I feel sorry for Arthur sometimes," Merlin agreed. "He gets saddled with so many responsibilities that he forgets that he's still young. He never really gets a chance to just be a normal person."

"It makes me kind of glad I grew up not knowing that I was of noble blood," Ryll said. "If I had grown up like that, I would have been forced to wear dresses all the time and act proper."

"That would have been horrible," Merlin said, keeping a straight face.

"You're telling me!" Ryll laughed.

"But you do look beautiful in a dress," Merlin added. She was wearing a yellow gown Morgana had had made for her. It was simple, but Ryll was still getting used to wearing dresses again.

"But I prefer pants," she said.

"Well, you also look beautiful in pants," Merlin said.

"Now you're just trying to flatter me," she teased him.

"Is it working?"

"Not quite. I don't tend to swoon over compliments."

"I'm not sure you've ever swooned over anything. You don't seem the swooning type."

"I swoon over chocolate cake," Ryll said after a moment's thought.

"Chocolate cake? Really?"

"Yes. I will have you know that my friends in Meldoran made me a chocolate cake for my birthday, and it was the most delicious thing I've ever tasted."

"I missed your birthday?" Merlin looked put out.

"Don't worry, there are plenty more to come. Lancelot made me this incredible sword." She stopped short, suddenly missing her friend.

"You miss him, don't you?" Merlin asked.

"Yes. I just got so used to him being around, it's strange not being able to talk to him. I just hope he's alright."

"I'm sure he is," Merlin assured her. "He can take care of himself."

Ryll smiled. "I know," she said.

"We should do something special tomorrow," Merlin said after a pause.

"Like what?"

"Well, I was thinking a picnic. We could go for a ride."

"What's the occasion?" she asked.

"Do we need one?"

"I guess not. What about Arthur? Can he spare you for a few hours? He might forget how to put on his boots."

"A valid point, but I think he can manage. He's got training with the knights for a few hours tomorrow. I haven't done anything to really annoy him lately, so I'm not being used as a moving target tomorrow."

"That's good. I'm pretty sure that isn't in your job description."

"I think my job description is doing anything Arthur wants me to do," Merlin said, rolling his eyes.

"Then it's set," Ryll said. "Tomorrow at noon." She stood. It was getting late and she knew Merlin had an early morning. He stood as well. They were still a little awkward when it came to being around each other. Ryll shook off her nerves and kissed him, savoring the feel of his hand on the small of her back. "Goodnight," she said before leaving. She smiled the whole way back to her room.