Oh gosh I didn't realize how long I haven't updated and I hope you all weren't too tired of the wait I'm a horrible person I'm sorry omg but here we have a new chapter and I like it a lot so hopefully you do too and that makes up for my horrible time management skills!
My eyes were shut tightly closed as requested by Eli as we pulled closer to the mystery place that he was ever so excited to show me. I didn't have a clue what it would be and I was trying to fight the urge I had to try and figure it out. I was just going to let it be a surprise.
I heard the brakes quietly squeak to a stop and the car was no longer moving. Eli instructed me to continure to keep my eyes shut closed as he got out of the car and walked around over to my side, opening the door and guiding me out. I felt leaves and branches crushing underneath my feet as he led me out. I now completely had no clue what this surprise was. He put his hands over my eyes and said, "Are you ready?"
"Yeah."
He uncovered my eyes to reveal a log cabin, a really long but not tall log cabin. Of course, part of me was relieved that we weren't going to be sleeping in his car but as I looked around and realized we were in the woods, the deep woods as a matter of fact, every Criminal Minds episode that I had ever watched came rushing through my brain. Eli had a huge smile on his face as he displayed the wood house to me.
I smiled, trying to not show my fear but as always, Eli noticed, "What?"
"It's just, we're in the woods." I said.
"And? It's not like Bigfoot is gonna come and eat you and if he does, he'll have to get through me first." Eli said. I opened my mouth to continue but Eli put a finger up to silence me and continued, "Come on, once you get inside I'm sure you'll feel better."
I supposed Eli was right, this time. So, I picked up my bag from the backseat and followed him inside. As I walked in, I had to admit, he was right. Everything looked golden, like I had put on a pair of sunglasses. The ceiling was high, with a big light in the middle, covering the entire living room with a yellow, sun-like glow. It smelled like wood, obviously. But more importantly it smelled and felt like home, that said something, considering I'd never been here or in a log cabin at all. Of course, home was somewhere you could come to and feel safe and I didn't feel safe in the woods in the slightest but it felt like somewhere that could potentially be a safe haven.
"So," Eli said, coming up in front of me, "Now, what do you think?"
"It's pretty cool." I said, "What's the story behind it?"
Eli rolled his eyes but smirked as if he was expecting that question, which he probably was.
"Well, my dad used to hunt a lot and when he does, my mom and I usually come with him, though we don't really do any hunting. I didn't when I was younger but I've gone a few times with him. Anyways, when we do, we stay here. My dad hasn't gone hunting in a while though, caught up with work and stuff. I guess he still keeps up on the place though," he said, now with his head in the refrigerator. He came out to look at me, "Stocked fridge."
I mocked an amazed face then laughed. As I put my bags in one of the rooms, I came in to see the TV on with one of those black and white pixellated screens that reminded me of bugs when I was younger. He was sitting on the ground in front of it, going through DVDs. I kneeled down behind him and glanced at what movies he had.
"Jaws, Saturday Night Fever, Back to the Future, Footloose?" I read some of the names as they went through his hands, "All that's missing is the Breakfast Club."
"Don't worry, we have that too." Eli said, showing me the John Hughes' classic, "My mom's a big 70s and 80s movie freak so that's basically all we have. Plus, being in the middle of nowhere means no service for phones or cable."
"That's fine, I'm not dying to complain about the horrible time I'm having on social media." I laughed, hopping onto the couch, pulling the blanket that hung over the top onto me.
"That would be reasonable if you had an audience on social networking. Your one friend that likes everything because she feels bad and me sarcastically responding to everything you post doesn't count." Eli smirked as he looked back at me over his shoulder.
"Better than nothing." I shrugged as he put in a DVD and came over and sat next to me.
When he sat down, he pulled himself underneath the blanket along with me. I sat with my legs pressed against my torso as I wrapped my arms around my knees. But once Eli joined and the blanket shifted over to him, I moved over little by little, trying to get more covers to get back to the level of cozy I was before he joined. I looked at him, then at his shoulder then back at him. I didn't want to be awkward but I didn't want to be cold either. I look another glance at his shoulder before actually going for it. I scooted as close as I could to him and put my head on his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his arm, holing him pretty closely.
As the opening sequence of the Breakfast Club started to roll, I felt my eyes getting heavier. I didn't know why, it was only nine or ten and I usually had trouble going to sleep at three when I was at home. But as much as I tried to keep my eyes open they kept fighting against me and continued to persist in resting and eventually I couldn't continue with the fight and gave in.
After what I could assume was about 2 hours, which was a clue given by the fact that the DVD menu was up on the TV, my eyes opened to see the frozen TV. I looked over and Eli was asleep too. I could hear the crickets outside indicating the silent and still night. Along with that, I heard the breeze outside, traveling around the cabin. It let me know we were in a space, a huge space filled with the nothing and home to the unknown.
No, I didn't want to admit as a 17 year old high school senior that I was afraid but I was. I held onto Eli for comfort but a sleeping body couldn't do anything so I was forced by the power of fear to wake him up. I gently shook him while whispering his name and surprisingly, he wasn't a deep sleeper and woke up right away.
"What? There's not like a fire or anything right?" Eli groggily said, covering his eyes from the blinding light of the TV.
"No, I just wanted to talk."
"Talk? What could you possibly want to talk about at 2 AM? The same 2 AM that I was perfect resting in." Eli said, sitting up actually awaking and not just being awake.
"Anything." I said, "I can't sleep and I don't want to be awake by myself."
"Aw, is little Smitchell scared?"
"Maybe." I admitted.
Eli's eyes widened in the dark as if he expected me to come back with a witty remark, in which I actually would have wanted to but I couldn't, and not only was it that I didn't wittily respond back but I responded by admitting he was right but, that was the truth. I was scared and I didn't know of what or even why but since I woke him up to talk to keep me from the scary thoughts that lurked while I was alone in the dark, the least I could do was tell the truth.
"Scared of what?" Eli asked. I could tell he was taking this in a tactful way. He didn't want to make it seem like I was baby to tell me there was no monsters under the bed but he also wasn't going to let me slip away so easily.
"Everything and nothing." I said, looking down at the blanket, already feeling embarrassed, "Emptiness and loneliness scares me because you never know what's in the dark, what's waiting for you while you're alone and then that unknowingness scares me too. You can't prepare for it, you can't plan ahead to avoid it, it's ahead of you. It knows your every move but you don't even know for sure if it's there."
"What's 'it'?" Eli asked, intrigued in my mindless babble.
"I don't know! That's what scares me. What is it? What does it want? Is it even there?" I paused, repeated what I said over again in my mind, "I'm crazy, I don't know what I'm talking about."
"No," Eli said, softly and for a first, without any sarcasm and complete sincerity, "You're not crazy, you're scared, like you said. And you don't know of what. That's what everyone's scared of at one point or another. When you were younger, you were scared of the monster in the closet but what was that monster? Was it a bear or a person or just an imaginary fear that you had? Probably the latter."
"Yeah but you're not afraid of-"
"I am definitely afraid of something. The future, what's held in store for the future, the fact that I don't know what's going to happen and I can't control that. It's a pretty common fear, sure, but it's still a fear in the end."
I stared at him, trying to think of the right words to say. I didn't know what to say. I had this picture of Eli as a fearless person and to me that made him this honorable, idol-like figure. But knowing that he was afraid of something, just like me, didn't take that picture away. If anything, it made it stronger. It said that yeah, he was afraid of something but he didn't let it control him. He didn't let it take over his mind and overwhelm him and stop him from doing things. I could only wish I had that type of strength.
Eli cut into my thoughts again, "You said you were scared of loneliness, right?"
I looked up at him and nodded my head, "That's my number one fear. Being alone for the rest of my life, being vulnerable to anything and everything because of having no one around. And it's not that I don't want anyone around, I'm just either too boring or complicated for them to stay."
"Sure you're pretty boring," Eli joked, slowly wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close as he continued, "Okay maybe not too boring. But here's the thing, maybe you just haven't found the right people yet. Maybe, those people that left might realize later on what an amazing girl they walked away from and might come back. And if they don't, well screw them. You're not crazy or boring and you won't be alone for the rest of your life, not if I can help it."
So I really like this chapter and hopefully you do too and it's enough for you to forgive me for being a horrible updater and neglecting you guys. But no seriously I really a sorry I didn't even realize how long it was, time was going by so fast (which also mean school yuck) but yeah, don't forget to review and if you want to vent your anger towards my bad updating skills feel free to, I will gladly accept them as I deserve it okay hopefully it'll be soon when we talk again!