Doc code 1278803-4576b

-mindlink initiated-

Entry 24-

Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Cosmic Boy, and Brainiac have returned. At first I was concerned because they all had somber looks on their faces, but Garth just winked at me so I suspect that all is well. Imra steps forward a bit.

"Querl," she says after a moment, "The Legion has voted on whether or not to allow you to stay."

I forget to breathe for a long moment, then inhale sharply, kick-starting the process. "What," I begin, my voice cracking slightly. I clear my throat and try again. "What was the final result?"

Imra's face crinkles slightly into a gentle smile. "The decision was unanimous. You can stay with us."

"However," Cosmic Boy interrupts, sounding slightly peeved, "you'll be living here on probation. So be careful."

"I am not entirely sure I understand what you mean," I say. "Does this probation mean that I will simply not be allowed on missions, or will I also be barred from the labs, training, and generally interacting with fellow legionnaires?"

Garth looks a bit hurt. "We wouldn't lock you up in here and tell you to sit around and do nothing, Brainy." He wrinkles his nose, glancing at the ceiling for a moment before his face twists as though tasting something sour. "For one thing I can't imagine dealing with a stir-crazy genius," he says, grinning at me as he says this. "As soon as you feel up to it, you can start work in the labs. Or, I don't know, train with the weird suit you used to sneak in."

"You kept the AMESS?" I ask, feeling surprised.

"Yeah, it's in a storage locker somewhere," Garth answers. "Wait. You named your suit? We have got to get you out more."

"It's an acronym," I explain.

"Oh suuure," Garth says, elbowing Cosmic Boy and rolling his eyes. "Still. You named it."

"I fail to see the problem here," I say after a moment. "Did I not name COMPUTO also?"

"Well yeah, but I think it's weird that you named the Legion computer system too," Garth says. "I think you have attachment issues."

"It's just an acronym," I say, feeling slightly baffled.

Cosmic Boy clears his throat, shooting a disgruntled look in Garth's direction. "What Lightning Lad has neglected to say is that yes, for the duration of your probation you are prohibited from going on missions." Rokk looks a bit concerned. "We might let you go on a few training missions, but essentially it's as if you're a new recruit. Considering the fact that you're fully biological and also a clone, it's conceivable that there will be a number of differences between your past training and the training you'll need now."

"That's understandable and reasonable," I respond. "Do you know when I might be able to leave sickbay?"

Cosmic Boy blinks hard, like he had been expecting some sort of adverse reaction. "Wait. You're not upset?"

"It's perfectly reasonable to want me to undergo training more suited for my current biological state," I repeat myself slowly. "Additionally, it makes sense that I should attend only training missions until other legionnaires have adapted to my presence."

Cosmic Boy's shoulders slump in relief. "Oh good. That was easier than I expected."

I feel my forehead creasing as the hint of a frown passes over my features. "What do you mean by that?"

"It's just… I was afraid you'd demand to be fully reinstated immediately. And that you wouldn't take no for an answer. You can be pretty stubborn at times," Cosmic Boy explains slowly.

"And as I tried to explain to Cosmic Boy, this solution is the most logical. Of course you would accept this course of action," Brainiac says calmly.

I had hoped I could pretend that he was not in the room. Unfortunately that was proving to be impossible. "Ah, yes," I say shortly.

Saturn Girl looks hard at me. I know she can sense the hostility in me whenever I address Brainiac. I also see no reason to hide this hostility. It is hard to have another 'me,' particularly one that has already re-integrated himself into the legion. How am I supposed to make friends all over again? I know many of my friends put up with me out of the kindness in their hearts, but is it really fair of me to ask them to put up with two iterations of myself? I am still unsure.

"…your vitals look good, so as soon as Doctor Gym'll gives you the okay you can head to a lab, or start training with your AMESS suit," Cosmic Boy finishes off. One of my thought-tracks had been following what he was saying, but not this journal thought-track.

I blink hard."Doctor Gym'll?"

Cosmic Boy cocks his head slightly. "Yes, Doctor Gym'll. Is there a problem?"

"We have a doctor now?" I ask. It makes sense, I'd several times made recommendations that we engage a staff Doctor at Legion HQ to more easily treat severely wounded legionnaires, rather than transporting them to New Metropolis hospital. It seemed as though they had managed to find someone willing to serve as Doctor to super-powered teenagers. It is worth noting that the phrase "Super-powered teenagers" is essentially identical in meaning to "the worst patients ever." This I can attest based on copious hours of personal experience. I have treated a number of minor injuries throughout my time in the Legion, and in that time made use of far more sedatives than the injuries should have warranted. It is simply impossible to get most super-powered teenagers to sit still and be quiet. Additionally, it should be noted that while I have a grasp on most medical techniques, I am not a licensed physician and should not be treated as such. I have absolutely no bedside manner, and no qualms about sedating you in order to keep you immobile while your sprained ankle heals. This is just one of the reasons I suggested the Legion seriously consider engaging a staff Doctor, rather than relying on someone like myself to treat their minor injuries.

"Yeah, Doc Gym'll is our staff doctor. We finally took your advice after all this time," Garth says, grinning. "He's a Jaquaan."

I nod to indicate I have heard. "Very well, I will wait until Doctor Gym'll has discharged me, and then I will likely find my way to one of my laboratories."

"That is where I will most likely be," Brainiac volunteers. "Once you arrive, you can ask Shrinking Violet or Invisible Kid to walk you through the current projects. I will likely be busy."

I nod, and the four of them shuffle out to leave me, still in bed, contemplating what I will do with the rest of my time. I did not yet have the courage to ask if there is a room for me, if necessary I will sleep in sickbay tonight. Or perhaps use one of the lab cots, if they are still there. I rarely slept as an android, but I did leave them out for Shrinking Violet. This will be the first time that I myself will have the occasion to use them.

Thinking about the labs, I find myself filled with nervous apprehension. I have never met Lyle Norg – Invisible Kid, and I do not know how Shrinking Violet will react to me. We barely spoke before I left the Legion, and I do not know how either of them will react to a second Querl Dox invading the laboratory. I am well aware of the jokes about me that often passed around the Legion with regard to my odd work habits, relentless schedule, high standards, and meticulous care for all processes being carried out in my laboratory. I know that as Brainiac is attempting to act like me, so he will keep the lab in exactly the kind of shape that I would keep it.

But I do not know how Salu Digby and Lyle Norg will react to me. Who will I be to them? I am not the Brainy they know, and yet I have the same mind. What will it mean for the working relationship between them and Brainiac, between them and myself? I suppose it is useless to worry about this, worry will not change the outcomes of our interactions.

Despite this knowledge, I find myself unable to cease dwelling on whether I will even be able to work in the labs, or if the environment will feel so hostile that I will find a need to isolate myself in a separate lab in order to focus. It is useless to speculate, and yet I cannot seem to stop.

I think that I have journaled enough for now. Perhaps I will reflect on my first laboratory visit at a later time, right now Doctor Gym'll has entered and I hope that he will discharge me soon.

I am worried. I hope I can make friends, but I am not hopeful.

I wish I could be.

~end~

A/N: In other news, Fanfic Author Brainiac5 wins "worst person of the year award" for her inability to update a fanfic like, at all, for basically a year. In other words, thanks to the few of you who might be willing to still read this fanfic, you are all the greatest and I am without a doubt the worst. Thanks again for reading, leave a review if you aren't too disgusted with me for letting the hiatus stretch out so long, and I am really hoping to get this fanfic back on track and actually find a resolution for this story someday. In the meantime, stay tuned...? Your continued readership means the world to me.