-43-

That afternoon, Ryll and Byron took two horses out in search of Owl. Byron chatted about his childhood and growing up as a druid while Ryll pried him with questions. It was fascinating hearing about someone who had grown up with magic and how his life had been in comparison to hers. He'd lived in fear a lot of the time just like her, but he was around other people like him. He didn't have to hide who he was.

"That must be nice," Ryll said. "To be able to help each other because you're all going through the same thing. I have one friend who has magic, but she too has to hide it. I feel pretty alone in Camelot," she admitted, realizing it was the truth. "I have another friend who knows about what I've been through, but he can't fully understand something he's never been through."

"That's true. I have nothing against nonmagical people, but they really can't understand what we've been through, what we're still going through."

"I hardly understand what I've been through. I thought I had healing magic for the longest time – well, for a year or so. Before that my memories are hard to come by. It turns out it was just some remnant of magic my mother had given to me. Now I don't even have that. Sometimes I just wonder what it is exactly that I'm supposed to do."

"We all wonder that from time to time. It's hard being given a gift but yet no clear purpose as to how to use that gift," Byron told her.

"That's exactly what I've always thought. Life used to be so simple when I was just trying to survive. Now I feel like there's something I need to be doing. I can't just survive for myself anymore. There's too much at stake."

"I used to only survive for myself," Byron said. "I left my people for a time and tried to make my way in the world, but hiding who I really was became too much of a burden. I can't erase who I am. So I came back and am much happier for it. We're not meant to be alone, people like you and me. We thrive together. We're stronger together. Alone we're lost and frightened."

Ryll had never realized how true his words were. Before he could say more, a whinny started them from their thoughts. Ryll peered into the woods and saw a chestnut shape caught up in some brambles. "Owl!" She dismounted and ran over to her mare. Owl was tangled in the brambles and stood shivering. She was smart enough not to move and the brambles had not cut too deeply into her. Byron and Ryll worked on freeing her for nearly half an hour, carefully cutting away the brambles. Finally Owl was free and followed Ryll away from her trap. She was bleeding in a dozen places, but all but a few of the wounds were shallow. Ryll led her over to the river, carefully removing the saddle and bridle and cleaning her wounds. Byron helped, and Owl sighed as they carefully dabbed at her wounds.

"They won't scar," Byron told her. "I have a knack for healing."

Ryll felt a pang of jealousy. She could have healed Owl in a heartbeat before. Then she thought about how she'd taken on the Sidhe's own injury. She shivered, imagining dozens of scratches on her own skin.

"Thank you," she said quietly. Soon Owl was looking recovered with only a few scratches left to show what she had been through. Byron bent down to wash his hands in the river and Ryll did the same. "You're lucky, you know," she said. "To know just who you are and how you can help people."

"You'll come to understand the same about yourself soon enough," he told Ryll. "I'll help you learn to control your power. I said I would."

"How?"

"Just trust me," he said with a smile. "Let's let your mare rest and we can begin."

…

Byron took Ryll through another part of the camp where they kept their livestock and had set up tents. He explained that this camp was for anyone who was on the run and needed a safe place to stay. They were a family here, united by their druid magic. Again Ryll felt a pang of jealousy. If her family was still alive, would her mother have taught her how to use her magic? Byron led her on to a quiet clearing where they could concentrate.

"Druids share a connection," he told her. "We can communicate through our minds with others with magic."

"Can I do that too?" Ryll asked.

"If you open your mind up to it. I sense that you've built up barriers to keep yourself safe. You need to learn how to open those barriers when you want to."

"How do I do that?"

"Just concentrate. Imagine a wall in your mind blocking everything that tries to get into it. Then imagine breaking it down and letting me in."

"Can you read my thoughts?"

Byron laughed at the alarm in her voice. "Nothing so intrusive as that. I'll be able to communicate with you, that's all. You have to direct your thoughts at someone in order to communicate. If you're just thinking to yourself, I won't be able to hear that."

Ryll nodded, closing her eyes and doing as Byron had suggested. She imagined a stone wall similar to those that surrounded Camelot. There were guards lining the wall and archers with drawn bows waiting at the arrowslits. Her wall was very heavily guarded, and she could see why Byron had not been able to communicate with her. She began to break it down. The archers withdrew their bows, stowing their arrows. The guards stood down and the stones began to crumble. Then she heard a voice in her head.

Amaryllis.

She opened her eyes in shock. "Did you just say my name?" she asked.

Byron grinned. "It worked," he said. "You opened up your mind to me."

"Can I communicate with anyone with magic?" she asked.

"It depends. Druids are taught this skill but most with simple magic are not aware of it."

So can everyone hear what we're saying or only you and me? she asked in her head.

Only you and me unless you wanted to include someone else, Byron told her.

"This is so strange," Ryll said, laughing.

Byron laughed too. "I've seen stranger," he said.

"I suppose I have too," Ryll admitted. "I once killed a Humbata. Two actually…"

Byron looked impressed. "I shouldn't be surprised," he told her. "So far you've been nothing but impressive."

Ryll blushed at the praise. "I do what I can to survive. Am I really so different from anyone else?"

"Somehow I think so." Byron was watching her with curious eyes. "There is a lot more to you than you even know, I think."

"Perhaps," Ryll said. "But I have no desire to be different. I just want to fit in." She was tired of running and hiding who she was. She'd done enough of that. Now she just wanted a family or at least someone who knew who she was and loved her for it anyway. She smiled to herself. Maybe she did have that already, but would Merlin ever fully understand who she was or what she was going through? Even if he accepted her, she still had to hide in Camelot. Maybe that wasn't home. Maybe that wasn't where she was supposed to be.

"What else can I do?" Ryll asked, turning back to Byron.

"Well," he said. "That's the question we need to answer."

…

Alvarr had escaped in the night. Uther suspected an inside job as the guards' drink had been drugged with a sleeping potion. As he made this statement to the court, Morgana walked into the room. Her face was cold, her eyes deadly. Merlin watched as she looked at Uther, not flinching away when his eyes found hers.

"Let this be understood, whoever has done this, they have betrayed me. They have betrayed the kingdom. If I ever discover who it was, they will rue the day they were born." Uther's words hung in the air. He looked at Morgana as he said them and Merlin felt a stab of fear. Did Uther suspect that Morgana had released the warlock?

Morgana lifted her head defiantly. There was no regret in her eyes. The hatred that Merlin saw reflected in them frightened him. Where was Ryll? Where was she in this time of the utmost need? They were losing Morgana and time was running out.

…

"So as far as we can tell, your magic lashed out to protect you from the Brotherhood and their crows. Maybe we need to do something to bring out your anger."

"That sounds dangerous," Ryll said. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

"You won't."

"Don't be too sure. I knocked out six men and killed a hundred crows."

"We're not even sure it was you," Byron assured her.

"I'm sure it was. I could feel the power lash out. It came from me."

"You don't have to be afraid. Untrained magic can be strong and uncontrollable like that. That's why you're going to learn how to control it."

"Alright."

"Let's try something. Give me a minute." Byron left her, heading back toward the camp. Ryll sat down on a flat rock and shut her eyes. She tried to focus on her power, tried to find it within her. There was something raw and restless that stirred within her. This was different from the barrier that had accompanied the healing magic. This was her magic. Truly and solely hers. She smiled to herself and let it envelop her. She felt a stir around her and the leaves on the trees began to dance. A wind picked up and swirled around her. She opened her eyes and saw that the loose leaves on the ground were now swirling around her as if she was the center of the windstorm. She could feel the air around her pulsing with energy.

"You have elementia power," Byron's voice came from the edge of the clearing.

Ryll started and dropped the connection. The leaves fluttered to the ground and lay still. "I have what?" she asked.

"You can control the elements," Byron said, sounding impressed. He was limply holding a dummy used for battle training.

"I can?"

"You just did."

"I just reached inside of myself and let the magic take over."

"That could be why the Brotherhood of the Elements were so interested in you. They can do small elementia magic."

"But then why would they try to kill me?"

"I'm not sure. As I said, there's much more to you than meets the eye." He set the dummy in the center of the clearing. "I was thinking you could try to control your magic and send it at this dummy. That way you can practice and no one gets hurt."

"Alright."

"If you have elementia power then it means that you can control earth, water, air, and fire. You were just controlling the wind."

"What about when I sent those men flying back?"

"When you control the elements, you're also able to send out an energy that can push objects away with some force. It's more a combination of the elements rather than just one. Clearly you're quite powerful. Now try doing what you did to those men again," he said motioning to the dummy.

Ryll closed her eyes and focused on the powers still stirring within her. She concentrated on the dummy and threw out a surge of anger at it. At first nothing happened but then she felt a sort of buzzing at her fingertips. She thrust her hand out and the dummy flew into the air and smashed into a tree several yards away.

Ryll stared at it in astonishment. "I did that," she said. "I did that!" She felt excitement stir within her. Byron smiled.

"Good job. You're a natural at controlling it. You just need to learn to control it in situations of intense fear or anger. That's when it's tempting to just lash out, but that could be disastrous. In time you can learn to focus your power on your enemies."

"That could be useful in a battle."

"Not if you're fighting on Uther's side." Byron's expression darkened. "Somehow I can't see him celebrating your gift even if you're fighting against his enemies."

"No, I guess not."

"I take it you've seen battle before."

"Not really battle. I've fought before, but I've never been in a war."

"I hope it never comes to that."

"A war against the magical and nonmagical?" Ryll asked.

"If things don't improve there's bound to be an uprising."

"I did hear a rumor about a dark sorceress rising. She was going to try to destroy the Pendragon legacy."

"Would that be so bad?"

"Arthur's not his father."

"He's not just going to change his way of thinking overnight. We've been waiting long enough. Tell me, does Arthur know of your power?"

"No, he doesn't."

"And yet you're friends. Tell me, why haven't you told him? As your friend and as a forward thinker, shouldn't he be understanding?"

"You know why I can't tell him. He'd have to tell his father. It wouldn't do him or me any good. He might accept me for the way I am, but his father wouldn't and he's bound by law and loyalty to tell him. I would never put him in that position."

"If you stayed here you would be safe," Byron said.

"I can't stay here, I have to-"

"Get back to your friends, I know."

"I'm sorry. I really do want to stay, but I have a duty."

"What if your duty is to stay with your own people?"

"I'm not a druid."

"That's not what I meant. You have magic. We stick together. Tell me; if Uther went to war right now against the magical people of the world, whose side would you be on?"

Ryll opened her mouth but couldn't answer.

"That's what I thought." Byron brushed past her and headed back to the camp leaving Ryll to her own thoughts.

What would she do? Would she turn against her friends and fight for who she was? It wasn't black and white. There were people like Merlin and Arthur who did not have magic but were not completely against it. Merlin certainly wasn't against it. Arthur was just. But they would be loyal to Camelot. Arthur loyal to his father and Merlin loyal to Arthur. Where did that leave Ryll?

…

It had been two weeks since Ryll had left Camelot. Merlin grew more and more worried every day. What if something had befallen her? What if the Sidhe had not been able to heal her? Questions raced through his head. He didn't know what to think. He was worried about Ryll but also angry that in Morgana's greatest time of need, Ryll wasn't here. He could tell that Morgana was straying further and further away from them without anyone to speak with. She didn't confide in Gwen anymore and Gwen had told Merlin that Morgana had grown cross and short tempered with her.

"I feel like she's up to something, but I'm not sure what," Gwen had told him. "She's changed."

She had changed. Merlin had tried to converse with her a few times, but Morgana had been brisk. Never once had she inquired as to where Ryll was since the tension with Uther had started with a vengence. That really worried Merlin. After Ryll had left, Morgana had been worried about her friend to the extreme but after awhile she had stopped asking after her. When had that happened? Merlin thought back. There was something in the back of his mind that was bothering him. He thought back to the mysterious warrior that had come to Camelot to challenge Arthur. Morgause. Somehow in her time in the castle, Morgana had bonded with her. There was a connection there, and Merlin wasn't sure what it was. Somewhere along the line Morgana had changed her allegiance, and Merlin wasn't sure that she would stop at anything in her hatred for Uther. Who would get hurt before all of this was over?