Ahhh hello hello I know this is a late update and I'm sorry, the holidays were hectic along with school so I didn't have much time to write but the holidays are gone so hopefully writing will be a little quicker! And also someone (KassSalvatore [thanks for the review as well (:]) asked what I thought Summer had looked like and I picked Amelia Zadro and if you don't know who she is, you could look her up but I was very bored and had no life so I decided to photoshop her to look like Summer (just the hair basically) and the picture is a link on my profile that says Summer's face because adding links in a chapter is unachievable.

So it was a new year and also back to school. The holidays were over and everything was a little less hectic, except the hallways. They were still filled with slow walking people, people who had to tell their friends about their breaks in the middle of the hallway, and people who obviously just wanted to be annoying.

In no way, shape or form was I ready to get back to school and the school schedule but I was only excited about today for two reasons- or people. Cam, considering I hadn't seen him since before break and Eli, considering the last time I saw him, he couldn't even look at me. I hadn't talked to him since then. My heart tried to tell me he tried texting me but since my dad had my phone, I didn't get them but my brain knew the truth. Too bad I was only listening to my heart today.

And there he was. Eli, standing at his locker, packing up for his next class. I walked up to him slowly and smiled when he looked up at me. I didn't quite get the same loving reaction in return. I didn't get any emotion actually, just cold and emotionless green eyes.

"So, how was the remainder of your break?" I asked. As I waited for a response and didn't get any, I continued, desperate to make this conversation work, "Mine was pretty good. Christmas was the same old, I didn't really ask for much. New Years was pretty boring too. Oh and if you tried texting me, my dad has my phone. The only punishment he could think of. I had to tell him about you but I said we were just friends, so that he didn't flip out."

This time I got a reaction, his eyes flashed between irritated and annoyed. I couldn't tell if it was because of my rambling or if he was still pissed about the way the trip had ended. And it seemed like he wasn't going to tell me as he just stood there staring at me.

"Alright, Eli. Say something, say whatever's on your mind because you're holding something back." Now I was irritated and annoyed.

"Fine." Eli said, slamming his locker and adjusting his backpack, "I can't do this anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be your friend to make your dad happy. The one minute you want an adventure and the next you bitch out because your dad might find out. Well now, I'm the one bitching out, we're done."

And he walked away, just like that. I stood there, loosing feeling everywhere, mostly in my mind. Everything just went numb, people walked around me, pushing past me and I didn't care. My mind was shattered all over the place, I couldn't pick up the pieces and put it together and make sense of everything. I didn't want to go to class, I didn't want to move from that spot, I wanted to stand there and not do anything. Not think, not feel, not relieve that moment over and over again. But if I stood there, I'd just see the whole scene play out over and over again. I had to go to class, I had to go on with my day until I got home.

As I walked to French, I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks. I wanted to wipe them but my arms couldn't move from my sides. I couldn't find the strength to hide my pain. That made everything worse. Why did heartbreak make me so weak? Why couldn't I have sucked it up and kept going on with my life like he basically did? Because I cared. That was my first relationship, my first kiss, the first guy who was I was interested in that was interested in me too. His words rang through my head, his promises, "you won't be alone, not if I can help it". But he could and he didn't. He just walked away like everyone else. He proved me right and even though I wanted to be right in most situations with him, this wasn't one of them.

When I walked into class, everyone's eyes went to me. At this point, I couldn't care about them staring at me. I just got dumped before first period had even started, everything else throughout the day could only get better, no matter how bad they were. I dropped my bag onto the floor and slouched down in my seat, scooting closer the table. I still didn't bother to wipe my tears, dripping mascara would just happen to be a fashion statement today.

"I'd ask if you were okay but I can tell you're not. So tell me about it." Cam said, softly. I could tell he was trying to be careful, to tiptoe around things so that nothing would accidently set me off.

"Eli and I-" I stopped, it wasn't a joint effort between Eli and I. We didn't come to an agreement on it, "Eli broke up with me."

"Over break?" Cam asked, and I could tell in the back of his mind if my answer to that was yes, he was wondering why I was crying now.

"No, about 5 minutes ago." Though Cam didn't ask why or how, I needed somewhere to vent, just to let my frustration out by just talking about it, "Over the break we hung out and everything was fine and then I smoked weed with him and the next day I immediately regretted it. I said I wanted to go home as I shouldn't have even agreed to sneaking out on that trip in the first place and he got mad but didn't say anything to me. He didn't even bother to look at me as if I caused so much trouble to his life. He drove me home, my dad saw and I told him Eli and I were friends so that he wouldn't try to break us up, pretty ironic now. Then we came back today and I talked, told him about my dad and asked him about the rest of his break and still, he didn't say anything to me. So, I told him to tell me what he was holding back as I couldn't stand talking to a wall. And he said, he couldn't deal with it anymore, I always wanted to do risky stuff and then bitch out and so now he was bitching out on us and that we were done. How does he get to decide when we're done? Why couldn't he have talked to me about it? Why does he get to walk away painless and I have to feel like my heart's about to fall out of my chest? It's not fair, he's the asshole and I get the heartache."

"Sometimes," Cam whispered, "Things just don't go as planned. I know you probably don't want to hear this because it's typical "friend to friend after breakup talk" but if that's the way things went, he didn't deserve you and you didn't deserve to be in a relationship with someone like that. You especially don't need to be with him if he actually used the term 'bitching out'. To clarify, he actually used the term 'bitching out'?"

I couldn't help but let a small chuckle out, "Yeah, his exact words."

"Oh yeah, that's a clear sign of danger, glad you got out of that one."

As I laughed with Cam, my heart got to feel a little lighter and I felt a little better. As much as I wanted to believe that throughout the day things would get better, I knew it was only for that time being. Once I got out of that class and didn't have Cam to help me forget my pain, it'd rush back faster than I could imagine.

And I was right. The day was filled with me hiding and ducking, looking out for Eli and making sure to go another way when I saw something that even had a resemblance of him. It was so pathetic, I was so pathetic. Why couldn't I have been one of those people that marched past their ex with their head held up? I couldn't even pull that off as an act. All I could do was hide and hope he'd never see me and the effect that his departure had on me.

That would be until English.

The only class I would have the chance to absolutely be in contact with him and since it was the start of a new year, Dawes definitely had a project or essay planned. For a minute, I actually had considered skipping class. It angered me so much that I was considering weighing my education below seeing a boy. A boy that cared nothing about my feelings, that broke up with me in the morning of coming back to school, that was a liar. I had to be strong and I had to get through this, one day or class at a time. At some point I'd have to see him and I would have rather it be forced by Ms. Dawes than seeing each other in the hallways awkwardly. I took the deepest breathe I ever remembered taking and walked into class, making sure to avoid looking in Eli's direction. I'm sure he didn't and wouldn't have bothered to look in mine.

I sat down, slouching more than normal, hoping to blend in with the seat and not be noticed by anyone. Especially Ms. Dawes. I wasn't exactly in the mood to be lectured in front of the class about not knowing the answer to something. I tried to pick with my nails, take notes without looking up, look everywhere else except at Ms. Dawes in hopes that if she didn't make eye contact with me, she wouldn't notice me. I had the curse of being unnoticeable my whole life and I had hoped that for once it would finally be a blessing.

"Ms. Mitchell," Wrong. Ms. Dawes' voice rang in my head like a siren. A police siren for the murder of my sanity, "You seem very interested in our conversation, care to give us a brief summary?"

I didn't have a clue what they were talking about. My mind was far out in other places but I couldn't use that as an excuse. I had to think of something because Ms. Dawes wasn't the type of teacher to just let you off with a warning, she'd do that after you've been embarrassed in front of the whole class.

"We were talking about…" Think, think, think, say anything damn it! "English?"

The class chuckled softly in unison but Ms. Dawes had nothing but a scowl on her face, "Of course, what else would we be talking about in English. This is what I'm talking about people! Pay attention so when I ask you a question, you aren't as blatantly oblivious as Ms. Mitchell."

I couldn't hold back my angered sigh as Ms. Dawes continued, "For your next essay, I want you in look deep inside and write about something close to home, something you never want to face: your biggest fears."

As soon as the word 'fear' left Ms. Dawes' lips, my heart dropped and I just wanted to repeat the word fuck in different voices, screams and places all at once. Writing about my fear wasn't the problem nor would it have been a few hours ago or if I had a different English partner. My fear was being alone for the rest of my life, having to face the world and my problems all on my own. I wasn't ready to write in depth about that fear and present it to Eli to review when he already knew about the fear and he had just left me. Maybe I was taking this break up too seriously. But I still didn't want Eli basking in the tragedy he caused me by reading about me talking about it in depth.

I tried to think of other things I was afraid of: clowns, spiders, any bug at all. But none of them I would've been able to write in depth about. Just the future and being alone in the future. I sighed, sinking into my seat with a groan. I wanted so badly to just sit there and wallow in my sorrow but that wasn't going to change anything. I'd still have to write about it and Eli would still have to review it. So, I sat up, not feeling amazing but feeling better than I did a second ago. That was until Ms. Dawes had continued.

"Now, gather together with your English partner and talk about what you'll be doing so the other knows what to expect."

I looked out of the corner of my eye as far as I could without turning my head to see if Eli was walking over to me. It seemed that he was still sitting in his seat though and it looked as if he had no intention of getting up. I wanted to sit there and just wait and hope that he'd walk over to me but I didn't have that luck and I didn't have the time to wait for that. So, reluctantly I got up and walked over to Eli's desk.

It felt weird standing over Eli awkwardly. He was one of the only people I felt comfortable around 24/7 but things change and the sooner I had learned that, the better. I put those thoughts of begging Eli to take me back, to ask him what I did so wrong, to ask to get back together all in the back of my mind. I couldn't afford to think like that, especially in front of him where it had the possibility of happening.

"So," I said, with a pause, not exactly knowing where to go with this conversation next, "I think we should do our essays separately then give him to each other for review, get them back then do final reviews on them."

Eli's eyes didn't move from the chalkboard. He didn't look at me once but opened his mouth slightly to say, "Okay."

I wanted to choke him and shake him and yell in his face that even though he was mad at me, he had no reason to not even look at me as I was talking to him. He was the one that ended things. He was the one that broke up with me after I asked him about his break and before school started. He was the one that threw this away, if anyone couldn't be able to look at someone, it should've been me. I deserved to be so upset with someone that I couldn't look at them, that I couldn't talk to them, that I could pretend they weren't there.

But I couldn't open my mouth to say any of those things. Instead all I could do was turn on the heel of my shoes and walk away wondering how just a few days ago, I could tell that boy sitting in that desk anything and I knew he would be there but now he was like a complete stranger all over again.

I know this wasn't the happiest chapter to come back to but I had to add some drama in there don't be mad at pls, and I also can't give any hints on the future of Eli and Summer suspense is fun sorry sorry sorrry :x also don't forget/please review if you hate it, love it, are mad about it, happy about it, tell me! I wanna know! Okay see ya next chapter!