Hey again alright I'm so sorry about this super long update (I know I say this every time but I truly am), school's just very hectic but I'm trying to write like more chapters at a time so I can update more! I really can't say how sorry I am for the lack of updates throughout this story, I think a lot of people have lost interest in it because of my update skills (or lack of) but I'm not giving up on this so I hope you guys won't! Okay but yeah, here's the new chapter yayayayay!

School had instantly went from a place of relief and happiness to an island of loneliness and sadness. Though I never had a lot of friends and I wasn't the most popular person, I had someone who was the world to me. It didn't really matter to me that no one in school knew my name except two people because they were all that mattered. Now with one of them gone and the other who was there when he could be but ultimately had other things to do, all I could do was be alone and drown in my sadness.

I sat alone at my locker, listening to music trying to stop myself from crying. When I was alone, all I could ever think about was how alone I was. My mind just ate itself up with thoughts. Even if I did have tons of friends, the moment I got alone my mind will fill itself up with thoughts of loneliness and I couldn't do anything except let my mind bring me down. Sitting in the cramped hallway that was always busied with people but now seemed to be deserted made my lonely feeling even worse.

I got up, grabbed my lunch and walked out of the front doors to the benches outside. It was pretty cold out as it is in January but I had left my coat in my locker and it wasn't worth going back in that school for. The minute I stepped outside it felt like my lungs had contracted at that exact moment so that I could finally breathe. Stress and sadness really did take a physical toll on you, I'd the most qualified spokesperson for that theory.

Not many people were outside as it did feel like below negative degrees outside but I didn't really feel it as my body was too busy feeling too many emotions to notice the cold. Until I sat down, that's when the coldness transferred to my body and spread throughout it like electricity but I had to ignore it because going back inside wasn't an option.

As I was eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich in peace I heard a cough. Assuming it was just someone catching a cold, I ignored them until it came again and I had the feeling it was directed towards me. I turned my head to see a boy with dark brown hair sitting there looking at me with what could have been assumed to be a cigarette between his index and middle fingers but I knew better since that road trip.

He looked familiar, I saw him around school quite often. He seemed like the kind to have tons of friends in different groups, the kind that everyone knew who he was even though he probably didn't know them. Basically the opposite of me.

"Hi?" I replied with a hint of confusion.

"Hey, I'm Drew," He responded, taking my answer of confusion as an invitation to hit down at the bench across from me. He put the cigarette type concoction in the direction of me, "Want some? You seem a little… stressed."

"Summer and nope." I said quickly, I couldn't go back to that. Even if my mind was trying to tell me different, I had to push those urges far, far back. But the urge to inquire was something I was able to give into as I continued, "But you must be tense or stressed if you're smoking that."

"You don't necessarily have to be," he said, taking a puff and turning his head to blow it in the direction opposite of me. At least he was a smoker with manners, "But yeah, I guess you could use 'stressed' to describe my situation right now. I'm not the type to ramble on and on about my problems but I'll just say dating the school president isn't really that stress-free."

"Ah," I nodded my head, "Katie, right? Well maybe she's stressed too, have you thought about that? You know, she has the school's fate in her hands plus your relationship with her. You can't give up on her, you can't just walk away from her when you told her you wouldn't!"

As I stopped, Drew stared at me like I would stare at myself if I was him which was confused and probably scared. As I had continued on, I took Drew's relationship out of the picture and ended up rambling on about mine, or lack of.

"I'm guessing everything after Katie's name lies a little closer to home." Drew questioned with raised eyebrows.

"If I said no would you believe me?"

"Absolutely not," Drew said, "But you know since you already started talking about it, it's something that is obviously bothering you so you can continue."

I was hesitant to continue on but part of me wanted, or needed to talk about it. I was sure Cam was tired of hearing about it by now and even if he wasn't, I still couldn't bother him with it anymore. But here was someone who was willing to listen and regardless of if he actually cared or not, he had no motives or bias'. He wouldn't choose or side and couldn't. I'd get an honest opinion or just someone to listen and that's what I needed so I let it out.

After I finished wrapping up the details about the breakup, how it happened, where it happened, why it happened, I had continued because my heart had more to say and my brain couldn't find the sense to stop it, "What bothers me the most is I can't make myself hate him. I still love him, I still want to be with him. Every time I look at him I feel like I did something wrong, like all of this is my fault even though I know it's not. And because of this, I feel like there's something wrong with me, like eventually no matter what I do, everyone will leave me. I can never keep anyone in my life, I always screw it up or push them away or both."

He took a few seconds after I finished to process everything, then continued, "Well I'm not Dr. Phil but firstly, I think you need to realize you didn't do anything wrong at all. You didn't break up with him, he broke up with you. And I think he's a jackass for doing it and for the way that he did it. But ultimately, you have to find something that takes your mind away from this because it seems like this is all you're focusing on and it's weighing down on you heavily. You have to distract yourself so you don't think about it all the time and overanalyze it and then blame yourself cause it isn't your fault."

The bell rang for lunch to be over as if on cue with Drew's response. He offered to walk me inside but I declined the offer with a thanks so I could sit behind for just a bit and think about things. I could admit to myself that Drew was right about some things. I didn't have anything to do so my mind was bored and eventually ended up replaying the breakup in my mind which resulted in me only thinking about that. It wasn't healthy and it didn't help my mood or my stress level, it made it worse.

Even though I could admit to that I still felt like something was wrong with me. In the end, Eli did break up with me for his reasons and he was one of many to leave me alone. One of many who promised they'd stay but somehow couldn't deal with my flawed and messed up personality enough to fight that urge to leave. In the end, I still couldn't keep anyone and even if I stopped thinking about Eli and stopped thinking about that breakup, that wouldn't be enough to change that thought from creeping into my mind every minute of every day.

Hey hey hey so I hope you guys liked the chapter, if you did, you could review. If you didn't, you could review too. Any kind of feedback would be really nice and appreciated and hopefully you will see me (and the new chapter) veryvery very soon :)