Fully accepting of the fact that everyone might hate me for not updating but I've been doing a lot and trying to write and excuses aren't going to help I know so here's the newest chapter!
I sat in my seat of the band room that was practically empty due to most of the class being on a trip from another class. I slid my bow across the strings of my violin, feeling the vibrations of the sounds of Jupiter in my hands. My eyes were closed, and I focused my entire mind on the ups and downs of the notes. When I played my violin and focused fully on it, nothing else slipped into my mind, and this was especially what I needed with all my emotions all over the place. But as the emotions of my mind kept fighting their way in, at one point they cracked the safe a bit and managed to slip in.
In frustration, I dropped my violin and bow down in front of my and leaned over it, breathing in and out to try to calm myself down.
"You're actually pretty good." I heard someone behind me say.
I sat up quickly and looked to see Drew leaning against the doorway behind me with a smirk on his face. I suddenly felt embarrassed for the fact that no one really had ever seen me play my instrument alone, especially when I was trying to hide those emotions while playing, not even Eli. I probably looked like a madman. It was pretty stupid to stress over someone seeing me play alone but I guess everyone stresses over something stupid once in a while. I also felt pretty upset because this was the one class I knew I'd be able to get away from Drew and the emotions that came with him. But there he was, standing all tall and brooding and dripping in the emotions I so hardly tried to fight.
"Thanks." I sheepishly said, for the first time since I had ever started talking to Drew.
I started to put my violin and bow back in the case when Drew sat in front of me and pulled the case away from me being able to put it away.
"Why'd you take my case?" I asked, generally confused.
"Why are you putting your viola away?"
"Firstly, it's not a viola, it's a violin. Secondly, I don't play one on one in front of other people, it feels way weird. Just wait until a concert."
"Well, I'm not just another person, am I?"
As my eyes were on the floor for that whole back and forth, I raised them to look at Drew in the eyes after his statement. We just stared at each other for a while and at one point, I legitimately thought that he was going to lean forward and kiss me. I, in a way, prepared myself for it and got excited about it. But then my logic and common sense punched me in the face and in desperation, I decided to play my violin for him instead of stay in that awkward situation that could eventually lead to me something I couldn't, shouldn't and wouldn't feel.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes so that I wouldn't feel or see the stare of Drew as I played. I placed my violin on my shoulder, my chin on the chin rest and sat up straight with my back against the chair. Though I wasn't in front of an audience, or rather I was in front of an audience that I was trying to pretend wasn't there, I still had all my instrumental teachers in my head, drilling me with what to do. Correct posture, pull the string on top of your head and sit up straight, head high. I sat there for a while and really believed that I couldn't do it but finally I seemed to have forgotten about Drew and focused my mind on my violin.
I focused on the way my fingers pressed against the strings and slid up and down and from string to string. I focused on the way the bow slid from string to string, carrying a sound with each movement. I focused on how controlled and wonderful I felt by creating that kind of sound from what was essentially a piece of wood, hair held tightly by more wood and my hands and how I placed everything.
When I had finished, I kept my eyes closed for a while, not really wanting to look at Drew right away. But I knew I wouldn't be able to stay like that until the bell rang so eventually, I opened my eyes slowly.
He just sat there, staring at me and honestly, it was unsettling. Not because his face had an expression or anything. It didn't have an expression, or a readable one and that was the problem. Who knew what was going through his head. It made me shift in my seat.
"So, are you going to say something because you staring with this emotionless face is not the best."
He shook his head a little bit and said, "Oh sorry. You're beautiful though really," As I stared at him wide-eyed at what he just said, I guess he heard himself and stuttered a response, "I meant, your playing, your playing is beautiful."
Part of me was relieved but part of me wanted him to actually say I was beautiful. That relieved part tried desperate to murder the part that wanted him to say I was beautiful. I probably looked crazy sitting there as I was simply put, having a mental fight with myself inside my own head.
"Summer? You in there?" Drew's hand was suddenly in my face, shaking back and forth.
"Yeah," I shook my head and blinked a few times, like all people do when they're jolted out of their inner mind conversation, "I didn't hear you."
"Of course you didn't." he paused, looking at me for conformation that I did hear him this time. I nodded and he continued, "I said there's this party on Friday and I'd like you to come."
The first thing that came to my mind was to jump at the idea but, as I was trying to transition my way around solving my problems with parties, I paused myself.
"A party? Didn't you just have one like a week ago?" As I stopped, Drew opened his mouth to respond but I caught him off when something else came into my head, "Plus, I couldn't anyway, I made an agreement that I wouldn't be headed to any parties because my last one, as we both know, almost didn't end too well."
"Emphasis on the almost!" Drew almost shouted then lowered his voice a few notches as I stared at him with wide eyes, "And who stopped you before that could happen? That was me. So, you should just come with me to this one."
"Why don't you bring your girlfriend?" I asked.
He seemed taken aback by that question. Like how dare I ask you, a taken guy who's asking to take me to a party, to bring your girlfriend? That's the most absurd thing ever heard to the male kind. Which was sad because that was probably exactly what was going through his mind.
"Katie doesn't really like parties. Or social get-togethers unless it involves student council or sports or something for her gain."
The bell rang and I was never so happy to hear it. I started to put my violin away, hoping that Drew would rush to class, forgetting that he didn't get an answer from me. But he just stood over top of me, waiting for a response.
"Can I get back to you later on the offer?" I asked. It was the end of the day and my hope was that with a sleep he would forget that he even asked me. My real hope though, and completely impossible hope was that he'd sleep and forget about having the whole party in the first place. What was two parties in the span of two weeks good for anyways?
I know it's kinda short but what's lacking here will be gained in further chapters ;) Don't forget to review or rant about me taking forever to update whatever is fine :)