Hey, I'm back and not with much of a long wait!
I sat on the steps of the lunchroom, staring into the hallway and watching the whole scene from earlier over and over again. I saw it as if I was a bystander now, watching it happen but still managed to have the anger of being there. It was a tragedy too because I packed my favorite lunch today (peanut butter and jelly with Arizona Green tea and wheat thins, I was basically a healthy little kid at heart) but I was seething in so much anger that I couldn't even chew my sandwich without the fear of biting the inside of my mouth.
A presence hovered over me as I was drinking my tea, the only portion of my lunch that didn't have the danger of being ruined by my anger. I figured that it was just another person coming out of the lunchroom as I was sitting on the steps to the entrance but then they sat down next to me. I turned my head to see Drew, sitting there which wasn't a surprise.
"Want a piece?" he said, holding out a bar of Hershey's chocolate. If it had been under any other circumstance I definitely would have taken a piece but I couldn't. When I shook my head no, he continued, "I can tell on a scale of 1 to 10 of anger you're at a 15 because I know no girl would refuse chocolate."
"Yeah, well how would you react to being called a slut in front of a crowded hallway for not sleeping with someone? If I would've slept with him, girls would've called me a whore and since I didn't sleep with him, he's calling me a slut and his buddies and other guys are agreeing with him. When I never kissed anyone, I was a prude. No matter what I do, I'm going to be called something by someone."
"Summer, you know that you're not a slut or a whore, anyone with common sense can tell you that. Luke's pissed because you're not like all the other girls who he can sleep with whenever he wants. You have more respect for yourself and that threatens him so he has to try to bring you down in some way so that he feels dominant again. Which is dumb because if you have to bring a girl down to feel dominant, you're not dominant at all." Drew trailed off, then realized what was actually the main point of what he was saying, "What I'm trying to say is that you're great. You shouldn't worry about what anyone is saying about you because it shows that they're worried about you, they're threatened that you're greater than them and if they have to call you names and bring you down, then you are greater than them. You're amazing, Summer and you should always believe that."
I had to stop myself from grabbing the collar of his light blue polo shirt and pulling him close to me so that I could kiss him right then and there. But I couldn't stop myself from gravitating towards him as he moved towards me. I knew I shouldn't have but I wanted to and sometimes the feeling of want just overpowers everything.
Our lips were less than a centimeter away from each other when a screw in my mind clicked, literally. I actually heard the twitch.
"You have a girlfriend." I whispered, our lips brushing as I said each word softly. Then my eyes flew open and I jumped up off the step and away from him repeating, "You have a girlfriend!"
"Yeah, you keep reminding me at the most inconvenient times." Drew said, nonchalantly.
"I wouldn't need to remind you if you didn't keep trying to come onto me." I retorted, slightly annoyed at the fact that he said 'inconvenient'.
"Oh come on," he said, standing up and walking towards me. I stepped back and he got the memo that whatever he needed to say could be said with space in-between us, "You act like you're not interested, I wouldn't come onto you if you didn't want me to."
"I don't…" Without my permission, my voice trailed off and Drew smirked in confidence that he was right. I wanted to scream that I wasn't interested in him but both he, apparently, and I knew the truth so all I could muster up was a lousy and almost inaudible, "You have a girlfriend."
As Drew felt that he was right, and started to approach me I was saved by the bell. Never was I so happy to have to run to class. As I was walking away, Drew stopped me.
"I never got to ask you, are you coming to the party?" he said.
I already had the answer in my head but after that almost kiss, I felt like I had to think about it more but before I could ponder it, I blurted out a yes. I wanted to say, "Wait!" but Drew had already nodded with a, yeah you guessed it, self-pleased smirk plastered on his face.
As I walked to class and was finally alone, I was forced to think about this whole Drew thing. Part of me knew I was interested in Drew. He was pretty cute (actually very cute), funny, someone I could talk seriously with and someone I could joke around with. And he was interested in me. The problem was he had a girlfriend, and I didn't think that I would ever be over Eli enough to get in another relationship. But that was the thing, I had to get over Eli at some time. There was no indication that we would ever get together again and we probably wouldn't so I had to stop waiting for him to suddenly click back to the Eli that I knew and loved that knew me and loved me. He was gone and our relationship was gone. It was harsh to think about it that way but it was truth and sometimes the truth has to be harsh to hurt you enough to believe it.
Hey don't forget to review/favorite/follow/whatever your heart tells you to do!