Document 1278803-4576b

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Entry 34 –

I have returned from my meeting with Saturn Girl. I am… confused. But more on that at a later date. First I wish to contemplate the day I spent with Thaal. It was a unique and rather telling experience.

First we headed to the lab, where I was to be assisting Invisible Kid. However, when we arrived Lyle appeared taken aback. "Querl? Why are you here?" he asked.

"I don't understand," I said.

"You don't have to come in today," he explained. "we don't really have much more to do, I can handle things here. "

"Are you certain? It's no trouble, although Thaal might be a bit troublesome, considering how 'helpful' he usually is with my projects," I said pointedly, glancing at Thaal with a vaguely miffed expression.

Thaal lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Hey it's not my fault your inventing process is deathly boring!" he defended himself.

"Thaal. That is no excuse for trying on untested equipment or touching things without permission."

"Sounds like a decent reason to not have the two of you in the lab today!" Invisible Kid said tersely, forcing a laugh.

"Good point," Thaal answered, eyes narrowing. He and Lyle were watching each other as if each was saying something different with a look than the words they had spoken.

I glanced between the two of them, striving in vain to piece together exactly why there was an excess of tension in the room. "Really though," Invisible Kid insisted, "why don't you check out the holographic training center?"

"Ooh, that sounds way more interesting!" Thaal exclaimed, looking at me pleadingly.

I sighed, trying to avoid his gaze, but was unable to look away quickly enough. "Very well," I conceded. "we will go to the training center."

When we arrived there were a few legionnaires already training in various quadrants of the holographic projection room. As it had been optimized to run as many as fifteen individual training scenarios concurrently, this presented no significant logistical problems. However, as I had been taking great pains not to appear "erratic" so as to allay the fears of my fellow legionnaires, I found myself feeling apprehensive at the idea of demonstrating the capabilities of the AMESS in front of a critical audience. Thaal was no problem, he'd helped me clean my hotel room and apartment after failed experiments countless times, not to mention the disastrous first test of the AMESS. He'd stayed with me through some of my most vulnerable moments and after all that, still considered me a close friend. It was everyone else who had me concerned.

Thaal seemed to sense my hesitation, although he could not fully comprehend the circumstances, he knew me well enough to lay a hand on my shoulder and whisper an encouraging "Don't worry about them; you got this," in my ear. I glanced gratefully at him before addressing COMPUTO.

"COMPUTO, please activate training routine beta five dash six six three point oh two," I said, and Thaal poked me.

"Are all legionnaires expected to have their training simulation access codes memorized?"

"It's possible to change the code to a program name," I told Thaal, "It's just I don't generally take the time to make unnecessary adjustments."

"...because you already have the access code memorized, don't you?" Thaal guessed.

"That is correct," I told him, stepping away from him to face three massive robots that were slowly advancing towards the two of us.

" Hey Querl," Thaal said suddenly, " do I have to watch this?" he sounded nervous… perhaps on my behalf?

"COMPUTO, pause program," I said, before turning to Thaal, a sick feeling beginning to take hold in my gastrointestinal region. "Do you really think I'll lose to a hologram?"

"Oh no, nothing like that!" Thaal reassured me quickly. "It's just… you've got more than one a mess, right?"

"It's 'Amos' and yes, I do. Why do you ask?"

Thaal looked at me, blinking rapidly and tilting his head, perhaps in an attempt to appear "cute". He was not succeeding. "Could I maybe try it out?"

"Absolutely not," I said.

"Whaaaat?" Thaal complained loudly. "Why not? I know you've gotta have extras!"

"You don't have the training!" I said.

"I impersonated you at Legion tryouts!" Thaal shot back. "I used it then!"

"I was operating it remotely!" I responded.

" Yeah by shutting it down after a little freak-out session!" Thaal shot back. "Please, Brainy? Pleeeease?"

I widened my eyes and stared at him hard. "Not here," I hissed.

Thaal clapped a hand over his mouth. "Sorry," he muttered around it, "I got carried away." He scowled then. "But I can do it!" he insisted.

I shook my head slowly. "At least half of it runs on mind link technology," I told him, "I'm the only one here with the chip. The helmet had the external mind link, and I don't have...the...helmet," I paused momentarily, making an inarticulate noise of contemplation that sounded like "hmm…"

"What?" Thaal asked, "Did you think of something?"

"I haven't seen the helmet since the night I broke in," I said thoughtfully.

"Speaking of which, I am not leaving until I get the full story on that," Thasl told me. I nodded, waving him off as I considered, before deciding I would leave it to a background thought-track.

"Can I at least use the stuff that doesn't need mind link tech to work?" Thaal pleaded.

I sighed. "Fine."

"Yesss!" Thaal crowed, doing a little dance. "You're the best, B-Querl." he paused looking thoughtful. "Bvril had a better ring to it," he decided.

"So sorry my name isn't catchy enough to suit your tastes," I grumbled.

"All is forgiven," Thaal said magnanimously, following me out of the training center. "So where do you keep all the a messes?"

"They're called 'amos' and I keep them in a clothing locker, storing them in a manner much like any given number of individuals currently residing in new metropolis," I told him impatiently.

"I have got to get you a small word dictionary," Thaal muttered to himself. "Or get myself a big word dictionary," he continued. He followed me to the lab, appearing intrigued as I moved to retrieve the locker storing the additional AMESSes. "Why aren't they in your room?" he asked suddenly.

I stopped, in the center of the room. I wanted to shout, to run away and hide. I did neither, nor did I need to do so much as speak before Thaal realized what was going on.

"Oh Brainy," Thaal said softly. "you're not just 'sleeping in the lab because it's convenient' at all, are you?"

I shook my head slowly, miserably.

Thaal clenched his fists. "This is ridiculous," he muttered darkly. "I ought to…" he muttered something under his breath that I couldn't quite make out, then he growled. "Brainy, this isn't right. They can't treat you like this!"

"Yes they can," I told Thaal wearily. "And they are. And they will continue to do so."

"Brainy, it's wrong," Thaal insisted. "How could they do this? They can't deprive you of living quarters, that's gotta be a violation of your rights!"

"I don't have any rights, Thaal," I shouted suddenly, pulling out the locker and chucking an AMESS at him, not able to look him in the eye. "In case you've forgotten, I'm a sprocking clone, and not only that, I'm a sprocking clone that they think is going to go crazy and murder them all in their sleep or screw up on missions or maybe even DELETE THE SPROCKING UNIVERSE AGAIN AND I CAN'T-" I broke off, unable to continue momentarily, "I can't do this anymore," I whispered brokenly.

Thaal was clinging to my shoulders and I was shaking, hands balled up in fists, tears pouring down my face and dripping off the tip of my nose. He was whispering things like "shoosh" and "issallgonnabeokay" and I cried, and he held me, and then-

Lyle. Sprocking. Norg. Walked in. Took one look at me, bawling, at Thaal, holding me, and rather than excusing himself like any sane person would have, he spoke. "Oh hey whenever you're done with that I could actually really use your help in the lab today," he said before crossing the room, fumbling with a few of my projects before presumably locating whatever it was that he'd been seeking, and leaving.

"You know, Brainy, I may just strangle someone - possibly several someones - before the day's out," Thaal muttered.

For some unknown reason, I found this amusing. Pushing Thaal back slightly, I scrubbed at my eyes and giggled. "Please don't, I wouldn't want my friendships to become yet another black mark on my record."

"Nah man I can verify from personal experience that you have the best friends," Thaal replied. "And because I'm such a good friend, I won't strangle anyone. Even though I reeeeally want to."

"I appreciate you holding yourself back on my account," I said drily.

"I'm worried about you," Thaal said suddenly. "You know this isn't right, what they're doing to you, right?"

"They think that-"

"Brainy. You're smart enough to know that not every planet in the UP has the same laws about cloning." Thaal was eyeing me, seeking something, although I was unsure as to what.

"Yes, but-"

"Colu is one of the most restrictive planets in the universe, especially in regards to cloning. Do you know what sorts of rights exist for clones on other planets?" Thaal was watching me seriously.

I shook my head slowly. "To be honest, the process never held much interest for me, so I never took the time to look into it."

Thaal was shaking his headat me, a pained look in his eyes. "On Braal, clones are seen as second-class citizens. They're good cannon fodder, bodyguards, and...organ donors."

I blinked hard. "Well, Braal is a very warlike society, it makes sense they would see cloning as a tool of war."

"On Winath, clones are an abomination," Thaal continued. "Firstly because they're singular, not technically a twin. Secondly because they're seen as 'cheating', getting a twin in defiance of fate."

"I suppose that makes-" I began, but Thaal interrupted me.

"On Titan," he began, "Clones are given half-rights. They are seen as empty shells, lacking an identity because they are a copy of the original. They are seen as weaker, more vulnerable, and incomplete, as they have no real answer for a duality of psyche. Therefore the rights and regulations concerning them are also weak and ineffective." Thaal sighed, scrubbing at his face. "Brainy, not all planets think this way. But the planets that matter the most in this situation - the founders' planets, your own planet…in this case, the odds are stacked against you."

I considered this for a moment before something occurred to me. "How do you know all of this?" I asked, for the moment unwilling to engage the deeper aspects of what Thaal was telling me.

"Hey, you're not the only one who can become an expert in a topic overnight," Thaal replied with a grin and a wink.

"...expert?" I repeated incredulously.

"...well informed," Thaal amended. "Really Brainy, how do you get yourself into these kinds of messes?"

"Well," I said shortly, then sighed. "I am unsure."

"Okay, here's an easier question: how did you break in and what happened with that, exactly?"

"It is a long story," I began, proceeding to tell Thaal how I'd broken in, what I had learned, "Brainiac is here?!" "Shhh! Not now!" and how I'd accidentally overdosed when self-medicating. "You really do need to be more careful, Brainy." "I wasn't thinking straight!" "Yeah, because you didn't bring me! or Arno!" "..."

Then we laughed, together. I felt, cliche as it sounds, as though something heavy had been removed from my shoulders. The tight clenching of my abdomen, the nagging sense of unease, of shame, melted away and I was crying again, not exactly sad, but not exactly happy, either.

"This isn't fair," Thaal muttered. "How can they call themselves heroes when they can't even see when one of their own needs saving?" He looked at me then, and the look in his eyes was some mixture of pain, frustration, and protectiveness. "They don't deserve you, Brainy, and they don't even realize it." He leaned forward then, a spark of eagerness in his gaze. "You don't have to stay," he said suddenly. "You used to work at the Time Institute, right? You could go back-"

"Thaal," I interrupted him sharply. "I will not run away again."

Thaal blinked.

"This time," I began, my sense of determination building with every word, "I'm going to fight."

"I mean that's great and all, Brainy but-"

"Thaal. I have to do this. Let me do this," I pleaded.

Thaal looked at me for a long moment, then sighed. "I never could say no to that face," he grumbled. "Just promise me you'll call if you need me. Or if you don't need me. Just sprocking call me, okay?"

"I promise," I told Thaal.

"Good. Now, I think Invisible Guy-"

"Kid," I interrupted.

"Kid Guy said something about needing you in the lab," Thaal continued, ignoring my sputtered correction since he was being intentionally facetious, "So I can see myself out. But really, Brainy. Anytime. Day or night."

I nodded seriously. "Your presence means a lot to me, Thaal."

We embraced then, and Thaal and I parted ways. I am unsure as to what exactly transpired after that, and I believe I may access security logs to get a concrete idea of the exact situation. I do know that whatever transpired, it sparked the serious discussion between myself, Saturn Girl, and Cosmic Boy. I will write more when I have acquired more information about the scenario, as I admit to being extremely confused by the whole affair.

I will return after I learn more about Thaal's behavior here while not under my supervision.

A/N: Welp. I'm excellent at updating fics you guys! (can you taste the sarcasm?)

Here's an extra-long chapter to make it up to you...?