Author's Note: So I always felt really bad for Leon in The Last Dragonlord episode because they basically just leave him for dead. It's like, whatever, he can drag himself back to Camelot. What if one of the knights was still alive but both his legs had been burnt off? "Oh, well, he's a knight of Camelot, he can take it. Just crawl back to the city; it builds character." So I decided that Ryll saves Leon. So there!

-55-

Ryll smelled the smoke long before she reached the sight of the battle. She had ridden as quickly as she could, but the two-day journey had seemed to take forever. Dawn had breached the open air and the orange glow was blinding. It looked like dragon fire and that made the hairs on the back of Ryll's neck stand up. The next signs of battle she saw were the charred bodies. She stopped Owl on the outside of the clearing, leaping to the ground. She moved around the clearing, checking each body, fearing that one of them would be Arthur or Merlin. Even though most of the bodies were charred beyond recognition, they all wore the cloaks of the Camelot knights.

A groan behind her made Ryll jump. She whirled around and saw one of the knights stirring. He didn't seem to be burned at all. He sat up, rubbing his head and looking around him. She recognized the golden curls at once.

"Leon!" she said, running over to him. "Are you alright?"

He collected his bearings and then nodded. "I think my leg might be broken, but other than that, I'm not hurt. Where is the king? What happened?"

"I don't know," Ryll confessed. "I just got here. I didn't see Arthur among the bodies. He must have survived."

"And the dragon?"

"Gone. It's not here. What if they didn't kill it?"

"I guess we'll find out soon enough. We need to get back to Camelot but all the horses ran off when the dragon started the attack."

"I have a horse. We can both ride. Can you get up?" Ryll whistled, and Owl trotted up to them.

"I'm not sure." Leon tried to get up, grimacing in pain. "I could drag myself onto the horse if you have her lie down."

Ryll touched a hand to Owl's front let, pushing down. Owl responded to the pressure, kneeling down next to the injured knight. Leon pulled himself into the saddle and Ryll let Owl up. Then she climbed up behind the knight and too the reins. "Hold on," she said. "We'll canter. I don't want to jostle your leg too badly."

"Thank you for finding me," Leon told her. "I'm not sure I could have managed all the way back to the castle.

"Why were you left anyway if you were still alive?"

"I'm not sure. It was chaos. The dragon was too much a match for us. We didn't stand a chance."

"Then let us hope Arthur found the dragon lord."

"Didn't you know? The dragon lord is dead. Cenred's men killed him when he was coming back to Camelot with Arthur and Merlin. That's why we rode out to kill the beast."

"I didn't know. I was elsewhere helping a friend."

"I think Merlin noticed your absence. I wondered why he was running around looking worried. He didn't know where you were."

"I did leave in a hurry. That was thoughtless of me." She'd left Camelot in a time of need. She wasn't sure Arthur would understand that. She had promised him, after all, that she would look after things in the castle. How many people had died because she hadn't been there to help them?

"Sometimes duty calls us away even in times of great danger."

"It's hard to choose what to do sometimes," Ryll confessed. "If there is a need in two places, is it wrong to chose one over the other?"

"You must go where you think you're needed the most."

"Then I think I did the right thing. I only hope Arthur can see it that way. And Gaius. I abandoned my duties in the infirmary. I promised to take care of the wounded, and I left."

"Did you manage to help your friend?"

"Yes, I did."

"And did it make a difference?"

"It did. But something bad happened as well."

"You must be the judge of that. It sounds to me like you are a very loyal friend. Let us first find out what has befallen Camelot before you blame yourself for leaving."

They rode on in silence until the castle came into view. As they clattered into the courtyard Arthur himself came out to greet them. He looked at Leon in surprise. "I thought you were dead!" he said, a smile breaking out on his face.

"Not dead, just left and forgotten," Ryll told him, sliding off of Owl and having the mare lay down again. "He needs medical attention. His leg is broken."

"I'll take you there personally." Arthur motioned for another guard and they helped Leon to his feet. "You might want to go talk to Merlin," Arthur threw over his shoulder. "We didn't know where you were. And something else is bothering him though he won't say what."

"And what of the dragon?"

"Dead. Apparently I dealt him a fatal blow. I was knocked unconscious, but Merlin saw it all."

Ryll felt relief flood through her. Merlin was alive. She let out a breath she hadn't even known she was holding. Arthur was unhurt, Merlin was alive, the dragon was dead. Arthur hadn't even mentioned her sudden departure from Camelot.

She made her way to the physician's quarters. Gaius was in the infirmary, she saw, and she stopped in to check that he was alright. "I'm sorry for taking off," she told him. "Something important came up. I had to help someone."

"It's alright," he said. "We managed. I suppose you heard what happened."

"I did. Arthur killed the dragon. Leon told me that the dragon lord was killed by Cenred's men before he could reach Camelot. That's terrible."

"Yes, it is."

"Arthur mentioned that something was upsetting Merlin. Do you know what?"

"Well, I suspect that he was worried when you weren't here, but there's something else. Maybe I'm not the right one to tell you." He hesitated. "And yet I feel as if I should warn you."

"Warn me about what?"

"The dragon lord was Merlin's father," he said. "This must not reach the ears of the king. He would not trust the son of a dragon lord."

"I had no idea. I will tell no one. I thought Merlin didn't know his father."

"He didn't. Not until yesterday."

"And he died? How horrible."

"I only warn you because I don't want him wallowing in his own grief. You know how he tends to shut down and keep his problems to himself. To lose a parent is difficult under any circumstances, but he did not even get a chance to know his father. You more than anyone can understand the loss of family."

"I'll speak with him," she said.

"And Ryll." Ryll turned back. "Go easy on him over Morgana. He did the best he could."

"I know that now. I'm sorry I was so angry with him."

"Your anger is understandable. I just wonder if you're aiming it at the right person."

Ryll nodded. "You're right. You're absolutely right. Morgause caused all of this. She took Morgana. Merlin was only doing what he had to."

"Tell that to him. He needs to hear it. He blames himself more than you know."

"I will."

The physician's quarters were quiet. She knocked on the door to his room, but he wasn't there. She didn't know what else to do, so she sat down on his bed to wait for him. She found herself growing nervous. What if he didn't want to talk to her? She'd shunned him and pushed him away and now he had lost his father. The grief would still be close. How terrible to meet your father and lose him in the same day. At least she had been too young to register the loss of her parents.

Ten minutes later she heard the outer door open. She stood hastily as Merlin entered his room a moment later. He looked surprised to see her. "Ryll." He looked her over as if making sure she was in one piece.

"I am so sorry, Merlin," she said. "For everything. I shouldn't have blamed you for what happened. It was Morgause's fault. I see that now. You did the only thing that could be done. It would have been impossible to get to Morgause with the knights of Medhir to protect her. You were so brave, and I couldn't push past my grief to see that. I would never have been brave enough to do what you did. I would have let everyone in Camelot die…"

"Ryll-"

"Let me finish. I'm sorry for not being here when you came back. I was so afraid that you were dead. I saw you facing the dragon in a vision. I couldn't see how it ended. I was so scared. I realized that I'd never gotten the chance to tell you how sorry I was. Please don't blame yourself. And then Gaius told me what happened. Who the dragon lord really was. I should have been there. I should have gone with you or at least been here when you came back." He was watching her, his face emotionless. Then he came toward her, taking her hands in his.

"Ryll, it's alright. I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you." He touched his head to hers. "I'm just glad you're safe."

"Are you alright?" she asked. "I can't imagine going through what you did."

He was quiet for a moment. "I'm still taking it in," he said. "I didn't know him. I didn't even know he was still alive. And now he's gone. He died saving my life. I should have done something."

"Don't put that on yourself."

"But I could have done something."

"Let's not talk about that now. Did he know you were his son?"

"Eventually I told him. He was surprised. He didn't know he had a son."

"He would have been so proud of you," Ryll told him.

"I wonder how different my life would have been if he had stayed in Ealdor?"

"Why did he leave?"

"Why does anyone with magic flee? Uther once aligned with him to trap the great dragon. But then he betrayed Balinor, my father. Balinor fled to Ealdor and stayed with my mother. After a time he had to leave though. He left to protect my mother."

"There's no knowing what would be different if Uther did not hate magic so much." She smiled to herself. "You know what's ironic?"

"What?"

"If Uther had not started the great purge twenty two years ago then Balinor would not have fled to Ealdor and you might not have been born. In some way, Uther's hatred for magic led to you being born."

Merlin smiled. "That's an interesting way of looking at it."

"It helps to find something good to have come from Uther's regime. So if you're the son of a dragon lord, what does that mean?" Ryll asked. "What exactly is a dragon lord? What can they do?"

Merlin hesitated. "A dragon lord has the power to control a dragon, to speak its language. Balinor was the last of his kind and when he died, his power came to me."

"So you're the last dragon lord now?"

"Yes." He looked carefully at her. "Does that frighten you?"

"Why would that frighten me? Merlin, you can control dragons. How incredible is that? So wait, did Arthur really kill the dragon or did you do something?"

"Arthur must never know."

"Of course not."

"I spoke to the dragon in his language and made him swear not to attack Camelot again."

"And he listened?"

"He had no choice."

"Merlin, this is amazing! If only Arthur knew how powerful you are."

"He must never know."

"I know. I won't tell him. How do you feel about all this?"

"I'm still taking it in," Merlin told her. He looked as if he wanted to say more, but instead he sat down on his bed. She sat next to him. "Where did you go while I was gone?"

Ryll was quiet for a moment. "Byron came to me looking for help shortly after you left. I ran after you to say I was sorry. I didn't want you to leave thinking I was still mad at you, but I was too late; you were already gone. Byron told me that the Brotherhood of the Elements had attacked their camp and taken their leader captive. Byron and I tried to free him, but everything went wrong."

"That was a dangerous thing to ask you to do."

"I know, but I agreed to it. The druids have showed me nothing but kindness. We were taken captive. I tried to use my power to distract them, but they fought against me, and I was overpowered. I'm still learning my limitations. I made a deal and they let Byron and the druid leader go when I promised to stay."

"You traded yourself?"

"I knew they wanted me dead. I thought it might work. It did. But it was all a trap. Their leader made sure I could escape. Byron and I had meant to steal a scrying stone the Brotherhood kept and use it as a bargaining tool. The leader knew I would try to find it. I did. I…saw things inside of it."

"You saw me facing the dragon."

"Yes. I was interrupted before I could see the end of the vision, so I did not know if you were dead or alive. Had I known you could command dragons then, I might not have worried so much." She smiled wryly. Her smile faded as she remembered what had happened next. "But then I started to lose control. I've never felt like that before…it was horrible. I did something horrible." She couldn't go on. He would think her a bad person. He who was always so kind and good.

"What happened, Ryll?" he asked gently. She couldn't look at him, but he cupped a hand around her jaw and brought her face to his. "You can tell me anything," he told her, eyes wide and honest. "I would never judge you."

Ryll weakened, slumping against him. She closed her eyes. "I killed him," she said. "The leader of the Brotherhood. I threw him against a wall and then set the cavern on fire." It had been bad enough when she'd told Byron of what she'd done. Now it was ten times worse. "Then I left and all around me the caves crumbled. Everyone died. I killed them all. I couldn't control my power, and the worst part is that I actually enjoyed it while it was happening. I didn't recognize myself anymore." She broke off, unable to continue.

"You need to forgive yourself," he told her. "Everyone makes mistakes, loses control. I know you, Ryll. You aren't a bad person."

"How do you know that?" she asked.

"Look at me." She looked up into his blue eyes. "I know you," he said. "Maybe better than you know yourself. Your passion to help people is what can cause you to lose control. You were angry at the Brotherhood for what they'd done to the druids and what they might do to you. But that doesn't mean you meant to kill them."

"Whether I meant to or not, I did."

"You're not a killer."

"Everyone always tells me that it's the choices we make that define who we are. I chose not to save them. I chose to let them die. What does that say about me? About my magic?"

"That's not who you are, Ryll. You lost control."

"I can't afford to do that again. I'm scared, Merlin. I'm scared of my power and who I become when I let it take over me. What if it happens again? Someone else could get hurt. If Byron had been in the caves, he would have died too. I couldn't control it."

"That's not going to happen. I'm not going to let it happen." Merlin pulled her close to him, and she buried her face in his tunic. He smelled of soap and faintly of ashes. "You're safe," he told her. For the first time in days she believed him.