-57-

The next morning, Ryll was called to the council chambers to speak to the king. She dressed with Gwen's help, looking the part of a lady again. She felt stiff and uncomfortable in the dress, but she couldn't run around wearing men's clothes all the time.

"Good luck today," Gwen told her. "You're our best hope for finding Morgana."

"I just hope Uther sees it that way," Ryll said, smiling at Gwen.

"He has to see that. We all want her back."

"We'd better go down then."

Everyone was assembled today. Merlin stood by Gaius. He gave her a small smile, and her confidence strengthened. Arthur stood by his father's side, and the knights stood along the walls. Gwen squeezed Ryll's arm before going to stand by Merlin.

"Amaryllis," Uther greeted her. "You came to me yesterday with information about the possible whereabouts of the sorceress Morgause. According to your informant," he said this with a disapproving tone but did not ask who it was again, "she was last seen in the White Mountains. I am sending out a party to search the mountains. You requested that you be allowed to join the party. I considered your request and have decided to allow this. You say you have tracking skills and you have proven yourself a swordswoman of great skill, however unconventional your means of proving this. The party sets out in an hour. Be ready."

"Thank you, Sire," Ryll said, bowing. "We'll find her."

"Arthur, ready your knights," Uther said, turning his gaze to his son.

"We'll be ready in an hour, Father."

"Well, I guess we're all going." Merlin had come up next to Ryll. She smiled at him.

"Then you don't have to worry," she said.

"I always worry," he replied.

…

An hour later, the knights were assembled in the courtyard. Ryll mounted Owl, dressed for the journey. Her bow and quiver were against her back and her sword and knife sheathed at her belt. She didn't know what to expect, but she did know that Morgause wasn't just going to hand Morgana over. Merlin mounted a black horse next to her.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She nodded. "I'm just worried about Morgana."

"I know." He hesitated and then said, "Ryll, have you considered the possibility that she won't want to come back?" He said it quietly so that only she could hear.

Ryll took a moment before answering. She took a deep breath to steady herself. "I have," she admitted. "But I'd like to think that she'd come back for her friends. We call care about her so much. She can't just abandon us. That's not like Morgana."

"She's changed."

"She's still the friend I met in the forest a year ago," Ryll said, her voice harsher than she'd meant. Merlin looked away.

"I just don't want you to be hurt if things don't go exactly the way you're imagining."

"And what am I imagining?" Ryll didn't want to admit that he was entirely right.

"You're imaging us finding her and defeating Morgause and bringing Morgana home where she will be exactly the same as she was before. It just might be too late for that. People can't always go back to the way they were after something has changed them."

"I'm scared, Merlin," Ryll admitted. "I'm scared that I have lost her. She's like a sister to me. She's the family I never had. I can't even imagine living in Camelot without her. I feel like we didn't get enough time together. It's like a big part of me is missing. Do you know what I mean?"

"More than anyone," he told her. "That's how I felt when you were banished." His words hung in the air. Ryll looked over at him and then took his hand, squeezing it.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Of course you know how I feel."

"We'll do our best," Merlin told her. "And we'll see what happens. I just want you to be prepared for changes."

"I know. There's no going back now."

"Ready?" Arthur called out. Ryll dropped Merlin's hand, and they rode up behind Arthur, taking their place as the knights started lining up behind them. There were a dozen red-clad knights to back them up. Ryll didn't know the extent of Morgause's power, but she knew not to underestimate it. If they did find her, she'd put up a fight. Ryll just hoped Morgana wouldn't put up a fight too.

…

They rode on into the afternoon, keeping up a steady pace. They stopped to rest and water the horses once before riding on. Ryll could see the mountains rising up in the distance. Their white peaks complemented their name, and Ryll felt an eagerness surge through her. They were so close to Morgana and yet so far. Though she could see the mountains, it would take awhile to reach them. Arthur confirmed her thoughts a moment later.

"We'll reach the mountains tomorrow morning," Arthur told Merlin and Ryll as they rode along side each other. "We'll make camp tonight so we'll be well rested for tomorrow."

"Do you know where the ruins are?" Ryll asked.

"There was once a city between the folds of the mountains," Arthur told them. "I've seen old maps from when it was still occupied. I think I can still find it."

"What happened to the city?" Ryll asked.

Arthur was quiet for a moment. "They were driven out during the great purge. It was a kingdom that used magic freely, and my father saw it as evil. Some people escaped and they might still be out there, but most were killed during the battle."

"That sounds horrible." Arthur cast her a look, but she saw no anger in his eyes.

"My father did what he thought was best for the kingdom," he said, his words monotone as if he was just giving a well-rehearsed speech.

"And what do you think is right?" Ryll asked him.

He didn't answer at once, but stared off into the distance ahead of them. "I was a newborn when this happened. I cannot judge whether it was right or not because I wasn't in a position to judge it."

"But you have your opinions now."

"It's still not my place to judge my father's actions." He nudged his horse into a canter, leaving them behind.

"Now I've done it," Ryll said to Merlin as they pushed their horses on faster. "I always say the wrong thing."

"He just doesn't want to admit that he thinks what his father did was wrong."

"Uther may have thought he was doing the right thing, but that doesn't justify so many lives taken. It never will."

"Uther won't be king forever," Merlin told her. She smiled wanly, and they fell silent.

…

They camped in the open that night. There was no shelter, but Ryll felt safe surrounded by so many knights. It wasn't that she was afraid of attack. It was more the openness, the lack of cover that unsettled her. She was used to the castle walls or the trees in the forest. The open air held no safety. They were exposed.

She huddled next to Merlin next to the fire he'd built. Even outside the castle, Arthur had no problem bossing his servant around. Ryll had glared at the prince before wordlessly following after Merlin to help him gather wood. She knew Arthur and the knights were more than capable of such a feat, but they seemed unconcerned about Merlin doing all the work.

"How about some dinner, Merlin?" Arthur asked now.

"Good idea," Merlin returned. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking that you could cook something. You know, like you normally do. Because it's your job."

"What's the matter, Arthur? Can't feed yourself?" Ryll asked.

Arthur glanced at her. "Believe it or not, cooking is not one of my duties as prince of Camelot."

"But bossing your servant around is?"

"Is this going to be a problem?" Arthur asked. He looked between the two of them. "Because Merlin has a job to do, and I'm not going to put up with you fighting me whenever I ask him to do his job."

Ryll flushed. "No, it's not going to be a problem," she said. "I just think you should show him a little more respect. He does more for you than you know."

"Do you feel underappreciated, Merlin?" Arthur asked.

"No, not at all. I'll start cooking," Merlin said, getting to his feet.

"See?" Arthur said smugly to Ryll. "He doesn't mind one bit."

Ryll huffed.

…

"I'm sorry about earlier," Ryll whispered to Merlin later that night. They were lying by the fire, a little apart from the knights and Arthur. "I didn't mean to get you in trouble. I just don't think Arthur should bully you so much."

"It's alright," Merlin said, grinning. "I don't mind, really. Arthur's just…well, Arthur. I'm used to it."

"Remember when we first met, and I was practicing archery with Arthur?" Ryll asked. "He made you retrieve all his arrows and unstring his bow."

"Yeah. You stood up for me," Merlin replied. "You said you thought Arthur was bossy and that you wouldn't get along with him."

"I guess I was wrong on one account, but I still think he's bossy." She smiled. "Doesn't it seem ages ago that we first met?"

"It does. We've been through so much since then."

"And will go through much more. Do you think we'll find Morgause tomorrow?" Ryll asked.

"Maybe. Do you really think she'd stay so close to Camelot though?"

"Morgana might still be weak – assuming Morgause healed her. Maybe Morgause didn't want to take her too far. Or perhaps Morgana fought against her. I don't know. It's all we have to go on, we just have to hope they're there." She paused and then said, "Merlin, if it comes down to it and I have to use my magic…"

"Don't. Not in front of Arthur and the knights. You know that's suicide," Merlin warned her.

"I know… I won't do anything in front of them. But Morgause is powerful. She escaped once."

"She doesn't have undead knights to protect her this time though."

"That is an advantage."

"You should get some rest. We need to be prepared for whatever tomorrow brings our way," he told her.

"Alright." She closed her eyes, shivering a little as the cold night closed in around her. She couldn't seem to stop shivering. Then she felt Merlin shift closer to her so that their shoulders touched. She could feel his warmth and moved closer so that she was curled up against his side. Let Arthur talk. For now she needed all the warmth and comfort she could get.