Author's Note: Commence part four! I have a few chapters written (wow, I actually wrote some in advance!) I will try to keep updating, but I also need to get my act together and get ready for possible interviews and apply for teaching jobs. There's an English teaching position open at my old high school (where I also student taught), so I am going to apply! Fingers crossed! A teacher said something about them already having someone lined up to me yesterday when I was subbing there, but I didn't quite hear what she said and it's always worth a try. On another note, the kids in two of the classes I subbed in today were the freaking spawn of Satan. And it's block schedule, so 90 minutes with them. 90. Freaking. Minutes. I also keep getting hit on by freshmen boys. Just because I LOOK like I'm young enough to be a high schooler, doesn't mean I am one. Just no. This really has nothing to do with this chapter, but I had to vent a little and I get loopy after midnight. Ahem, anyway, please enjoy.

-61-

Ryll was staring at Merlin with wide eyes, but he couldn't read the emotion behind them. He hadn't meant to use magic just then. He hadn't meant for her to find out that way.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," he said. She finally looked away, shaking her head.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. Hurt. He could see that in her eyes now. "You didn't trust me?"

"That's not it. I trust you. It just never felt like the right time to tell you. I didn't want to burden you, and then everything just got out of control."

She was still shaking her head as if she couldn't believe him. "All this time I thought I was alone. Morgana thought she was alone. We had each other but neither of us knew what we were doing."

Merlin watched in dismay as she turned her horse away from him. "Ryll…"

"I just can't deal with this right now," she said. "It's too much." She kicked Owl and the mare took off. Merlin watched her go, cursing himself. It was the worst possible time for Ryll to find out that he had magic. He looked back down at the dead man and then took off after her.

When he reached the courtyard, he saw Ryll handing off the reins to one of the stable hands before racing into the castle. He watched her go, deciding to give her space. He handed off his horse as well and went in search of Arthur.

Arthur was reporting to his father in the throne room, and Merlin slipped in to stand by Gaius. "We found Morgana and Morgause," Arthur was saying. "They were in the White Mountains, but Morgause overpowered us and took Morgana away again. I'm sorry. I failed."

"You did your best. We must not underestimate sorceresses like Morgause," Uther said. "She is just one example of the evil magic holds."

"We'll keep searching," Arthur promised.

Uther dismissed the court with a wave of his hand, and Merlin followed Gaius back to the physician's quarters. "Did anything else happen while you were in the White Mountains?" Gaius asked when he and Merlin were alone.

"We were attacked by this beast in the ruins," Merlin told him. "It was like a panther with great wings and spikes down its back. Its tail was like a serpent's. Ryll killed it though not before it killed two knights and injured another."

"She's getting a reputation for killing magical creatures. Anything else?"

"Why do you ask?" Merlin narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"I didn't see Ryll in the throne room. I imagine she was as disappointed as Uther that the rescue mission did not succeed."

"She was." He didn't elaborate.

"Merlin, I know something more happened," Gaius said, looking a bit exasperated.

"Morgana didn't want to come back," he told Gaius. "Ryll spoke to her. She gave her the chance to disappear with Morgause. I should have stopped her. The king can't find out."

"He won't find out from me," Gaius said. "But that was a foolish thing for her to do. Morgause is dangerous. Who knows what she'll put into Morgana's head."

"I can see why she did it," Merlin said. "Morgana is her best friend. She just wanted to do what was best for her."

"Well, what is best for Morgana is not best for Camelot if it means she stays with Morgause."

"Maybe they'll just disappear," Merlin suggested. "Morgana can live a normal life, unafraid of who she really is."

"Do you really think Morgause will just leave Uther alone?" Gaius asked.

"Maybe."

"I guess time will tell," Gaius said resignedly.

"Oh, Ryll found out I had magic too," Merlin added a moment later.

"I would have assumed she already knew. I know how close you have grown," Gaius said, his tone indicating that he had a guess at just how close they'd become. "How did she take that?"

"Not well. I should have told her sooner."

"All that talk about elemental powers…was there something more to that?" Gaius asked.

"Ryll has elemental powers," Merlin said. He knew he could trust Gaius. Perhaps Gaius would be able to help Ryll. "She can't control them."

"Elemental magic is of the Old Religion," Gaius told him. "It is magic at its rawest form. I thought she had healing power though."

"All of the healing power came from her ring. Her mother imbued it with the healing power – as we discovered from the binding enchantment on the inside of the ring. Once the ring was destroyed – by me – the residual power clung to her so she had some power left to heal. Only it caused her pain to heal or at least it would have if she'd continued to use it. Eventually it might have killed her. It needed something else to draw from since the ring was gone. It was turning into a dark magic, and so she went to Avalon to be healed. The Sidhe healed her, I guess."

"The Sidhe do not hand out favors without anything in return."

"She healed one of their kind who was mortally sick. Then the Sidhe elder healed her in return. He also told her that she is descended from a Sidhe princess who gave up her immortality to save the mortal man she loved."

"So Ryll's elemental powers came out after she was healed. As if they were awakened."

"I can control elements, but most of the time it requires a spell. I've never seen power like Ryll's. She seems to have total control over the elements, but I don't think she has control over her power. She tried, but when she feels strong emotions, it spirals out of control. I saw her knock five men unconscious just by using her mind. There's only one other person I've seen do that before."

"And who is that?"

"Mordred."

"The druid boy?"

"He knocked out some of the knights when they tried to capture him – when Morgana was in the druid's camp. I'd never seen anything like it."

"How does she feel about her magic?" Gaius asked.

"She's terrified of it," Merlin admitted. "She hurt some people. They would have hurt her, but she blames herself. I would never tell her this, but I'm afraid of her power too – not her power itself but what she could do with it and who could find out."

"Perhaps now that she knows you have magic, you can help her learn to control it."

"I did try before, and I thought she did have a handle on it, but it was untested. Is there a way to suppress powers like that?"

"Well, she can choose not to use them. Eventually that might subdue them, but if she reacts to something that causes her great emotion, then they might come out again. I'll look into it though." He was quiet for a moment, and Merlin could tell he wanted to say more.

"What is it, Gaius?" he asked.

"Don't take this the wrong way," Gaius warned. "But I think you should keep an eye on her. Morgana was – is – very dear to her. She might go to great lengths to protect her."

"Are you saying you think Ryll might turn on us and join Morgana?" Merlin asked.

"Not necessarily. I'm just saying that we should be careful," Gaius said.

"I will be. I'll keep an eye on her."

"You might want to start sooner than later. She's been through a lot of shock the last few days," Gaius warned.

"I'll go talk to her," Merlin said.

"And Merlin. Uther is not going to give up easily on Morgana. Make sure he and Arthur don't find out that Morgana doesn't want to come home."

"I will." Merlin slipped from the room and headed for Ryll's room. He hesitated in front of the door, feeling nervous. She had every right to be furious with him. He reached out a knuckle and rapped on the door before he could turn and walk away. There was a pause and then Ryll opened the door slightly. He could tell at once that she'd been crying though her eyes were dry. The tender skin under her eyes was slightly puffy and red.

"What do you want?" she asked without preamble.

Merlin winced. "I wanted to apologize," he said. "Can I come in for a minute?"

She seemed to deliberate for a moment before opening the door wider and standing back so he could come in. She shut the door behind him. She said nothing, just went to stand by the window, gazing out at the hazy afternoon. She'd changed into a clean tunic and pants and her hair lay wet and loose against her back. She looked weary but beautiful nonetheless.

"I am so sorry I didn't tell you sooner," he said. "It never seemed like the right time and then it seemed like it was too late. I know that's no excuse. I should have told you the moment you confided in me. I wanted to."

"It's your gift, Merlin. You can decide who to trust with that knowledge," her tone was bitter.

"I do trust you, Ryll. I trust you with my life. It was a mistake not to tell you sooner," he pleaded with her. She finally turned and looked at him, her eyes sad, devoid of their usual spark.

"I want to believe that."

"I do," he said, stepping forward and taking her hands in his. "I trust you more than anyone." She shut her eyes, but did not pull away. "I'm so sorry for what happened with Morgana," he added.

"I know you are," Ryll whispered. "I'm tired, Merlin. I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of losing the people I love."

"You're not going to lose me."

"Sometimes it feels like it."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes it feels like everyone I love will disappear. Like I'm cursed…" A single tear fell from her eye.

"You're not cursed," Merlin said angrily. "Don't ever think that."

She opened her blue eyes to look up at him. "I'm sorry I was so angry with you. I'm not really angry. I was just surprised and hurt, but I understand why you didn't tell me. You have magic and you're Arthur's servant. I can't even imagine the burden you bear. You've probably saved his life with magic more times than he will ever know."

"He must never know."

"I know. I won't tell anyone."

"I know you won't," he said. Ryll was still gazing at him, her blue eyes warm. She moved closer so that her body brushed his.

"I just want to forget the last few days," she said. "I just want to erase the pain." She looked desperate as if she was barely holding on. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her into an embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against the side of his.

"It will get easier," he said.

"Will it?"

"It will. I promise. You still have me. I'm not going anywhere," he swore to her.

Suddenly her lips were on his, her fingers in his hair. He kissed her back, feeling her desperation as she pressed against him. Her tunic pulled up a hair as she reached up to kiss him, and his fingers brushed her bare skin. She shivered, but didn't stop kissing him. His heart was thumping in his chest, wild and uncontrolled. He'd been expecting Ryll to shout at him or push him away, not this. Anything but this. He bit back his surprise and lost himself in her touch. Her fingers were gentle as she moved her hand over his heart. He moved one hand up her back as if he could pull her closer. Her wet hair fell against his hand. She smelled like flowers and fresh air – intoxicating and familiar.

They pulled apart for breath, but then Ryll's lips were on his again. Her skin was hot under his touch and he moved his hand up a little so that it rested against the bare skin of her back. "I love you," Ryll moaned against his lips. She didn't give him a chance to answer. He'd never been kissed like this before. For a moment he hardly believed that someone like Ryll could love him. It wasn't that he thought she cared about status – she never had. It was that someone so extraordinary could love someone so ordinary. He knew she'd argue he was anything but ordinary, but she was a spark in the night. Her courage and spirit contrasted his quiet way of working things out. They contrasted each other and yet fit together like two necessary parts to a whole.

"Ryll," he moaned, and she stopped kissing him for a moment, peering at him with bright blue eyes. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"I thought it was clear that I was kissing you," she said. She ran a hand down his chest, and he caught it gently.

"Are you trying to forget the last few days?" he asked softly. Her eyes widened, but he saw the doubt that flashed behind them.

"No," she said. "I want this."

"You want to forget."

"Is that so wrong?" she asked. She pressed her forehead against his.

"No," he said. "But I feel like we're going to lose control if we keep this up."

"Would that be so bad?" she asked.

He sighed. "You're tired," he said. "You should rest."

"You're always telling me I should rest. What if I just want to keep kissing you?"

He pulled away from her slightly. "Ryll, I would love to stay here with you..."

"But?" she asked, stepping back. She looked at him curiously, her eyes a little sad.

"But right now you're hurting. I'm not taking advantage of that."

"Merlin, you could never take advantage of me," Ryll said. "But I fear I'm taking advantage of you." She took his hands in hers. "It's not fair for me to take out all of my emotions on you. Even if it involves kissing you."

"It's not that I mind…it's just…" He didn't quite know how to put it in words.

"I'm losing control," she said. "And I'm a mess right now," she added with a laugh.

"You could never be a mess," Merlin assured her.

"I'm always a mess, but you're always here to pick me up and put me back together." She smiled at him and then pulled him into an embrace, tucking her head under his chin. He held her tightly as if he could lose her at any moment.

"I love you anyway," he said. He shut his eyes and held her.

I actually had a really hard time writing this chapter. Crazy scenes with stuff blowing up and people on fire, no problem. Cute, romantic scenes...writer's block. Majorly.