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Merlin caught Ryll before she hit the floor. She was unconscious and looking pale. He pulled her into his arms and carried her back to the physician's quarters. Gaius stood when he entered the room.

"Merlin, what happened? I was just talking to her but a moment ago," he said.

"She just passed out in the hallway," Merlin said. He carried her up to his room and set her on his bed. "Why was she here?" he asked.

"She was asking about something. It seems she must have blacked out in the woods. She said she woke up on the ground quite a ways from the road. She doesn't remember falling and has no bruises. She was feeling dizzy, so I told her to get some rest."

Merlin pushed her hair off her face, feeling her forehead. "She's burning up," he said. "What's wrong with her?"

"I'm not sure," Gaius said. "I would say exhaustion, but she's never showed these signs before. Besides the first day she came to Camelot with an arrow wound, I've never treated her. She's very healthy."

"Do you think something happened to her out in the woods?"

"I'm not sure. She didn't remember anything happening. She did say she felt as if there was a gap in her memories."

"A gap? Like someone made her forget something?" Merlin furrowed his brow. "Who would do such a thing?"

"I'm not sure. You'll have to speak with her when she wakes. See if she can remember anything."

"She can sleep here so we can keep an eye on her," he said.

"I'll make something to soothe her fever," Gaius said. He left Merlin alone, and he turned back to Ryll, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking her hand.

She began to stir, opening her eyes blearily. "Merlin?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

"You're alright," he assured her. "You're in my room. Gaius is making something to take away your fever."

"Am I ill?"

"I was hoping you could tell me," Merlin said. "Gaius told me you were riding in the forest and then suddenly woke up on the ground. Do you remember anything else?"

She shook her head. "It's like there's a big empty spot where that memory should be. I don't remember anything."

"Can you think of anyone who would put a memory block on you?"

She shook her head again. "Can you overcome it with your magic?" she asked.

"I can try." He reached for his book of magic that he kept under his bed. She watched him as he flipped through the pages. He found a spell that looked like it might work. "Let me try this," he said. He placed his hand over her forehead and said the words of the spell aloud. He could feel the magic sliding down his fingertips. He removed his hand.

"I still don't remember," Ryll told him.

"Let me keep looking." He flipped through the next few pages until he found another potential spell. He placed his hand on her forehead again and read the spell.

"Still nothing," Ryll said. "That's alright. I think I need to rest now."

Gaius entered the room with a small bottle of a purple liquid. "Drink this down," he told Ryll. "It will soothe your fever and help you sleep." Merlin took it and helped her drink it. She watched him for a moment and then her lids fluttered shut as she fell asleep.

"I tried to unblock her memories, but nothing worked," Merlin told Gaius.

"If that is what happened, then it must have been a very powerful sorcerer. Memory blocks are powerful magic, but they can wear off in time."

"Maybe she'll remember when she wakes up," Merlin said.

"Perhaps."

Gaius left him, and Merlin sat by the bed until he started to doze off. He woke up in the middle of the night with a cricked neck. He rolled his shoulders and looked down at Ryll. Her brow was furrowed, and she was twisting around in the bed. He touched her arm, and she sat up straight, eyes flashing amber for a moment. One of the books on the table across from her flew into the air and hit the wall with a crash. Merlin jumped. Ryll started crying, and he sat next to her on the bed, pulling her into his arms.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know where I was for a minute." Her eyes were back to their bright blue, and he could see the fear behind them. "When will this stop?" she asked. "I don't want this power. I don't want these nightmares. I just want to be normal."

"What were you dreaming?" Merlin asked. "Are you having reoccurring nightmares?"

"Sometimes they're the same," she said. "This time I saw Camelot being attacked. A host of men stood at her gates and trebuchets flung fiery stones at her towers. And I saw you. And Morgana." Her eyes went unfocused for a moment.

"Morgana? What was happening?"

"She was…you were there…" she said, her voice weak. She shook her head, shutting her eyes. "I can't remember anymore. I'm so tired."

"Go back to sleep. I'm right here," he said. He lay down, pulling the blanket over both of them. She curled up against his side, her trembling subsiding as she fell back asleep. Merlin stayed awake until he was sure her nightmare had not returned. He tried to push back his worry for her, but he had watched her break down bit by bit this last year. First she had shut down, feeling horrible about not joining the search parties and afraid that she had not made the right choice. Then Arthur had continued to behave coldly toward her up until Uther had nearly forced her to track down Morgana. When she had told the king that she didn't wish to join the search party, he had threatened to send her to the dungeons if she didn't comply. Arthur had stood up for her, telling his father that Ryll was still very upset, and she shouldn't have to come if she didn't want to. There were no tracks to follow anyway. They were just scouring the lands blindly. Uther had accepted this, but Ryll had not spoken to him after this. Uther seemed content to ignore her as well. This growing tension had not done her any favors, and he feared that she would turn against Uther too. The king didn't make it easy for people to like him.

Ryll was also afraid of her powers. She'd spent the last year trying to pretend like they didn't exist. It seemed to work, but her spirit seemed to lower each day that she ignored who she really was. Merlin had tried to convince her to practice with him, but she had refused. She didn't want anything to do with her powers.

That spark that he had always admired had just vanished as if Morgana's departure had extinguished it. She didn't laugh or smile much anymore, didn't plan special days for them. She did spend time with him every moment that he could spare, but instead of talking to him, she was mostly silent as if she just needed to be near someone. It was as if her confidence was only possible when she was with him. Where she used to be the first to suggest something or speak up, she always seemed to wait for him now. When they were outside of the castle, he noticed a subtle change. She seemed to brighten up and smile again. So when she had told him she was going to start taking hunting trips into the forest alone, he had let her go. She needed that time to herself outside of the confines of the castle. She always came back, and so far she had not come to any harm. He just wished he knew what had happened to her the day before.

…

Merlin awoke to the sound of his name being called. He jolted awake, noticing that light was streaming through the window. Arthur was standing in the doorway, his expression a mixture of annoyance and anger.

"Is this a bad time?" he asked. Merlin noticed that he was fully dressed though looking a bit sloppy.

"I can explain."

"And I'm sure you can, but right now I need my servant. We've received news of an attack. We're riding out to investigate. But if you feel that lazing in bed all day…" He waved his hand toward the still sleeping Ryll. "…or whatever it is you're doing is a better use of your time."

"She was ill," Merlin hurried to say, not wanting the prince to get the wrong idea. "She collapsed in the corridor. Gaius was treating her. Then she woke up after having a bad nightmare. I only wanted to make sure she was alright."

Arthur's expression softened a little. "Does Gaius know what's wrong?" he asked.

"No. She was feeling dizzy and then she caught a fever."

"If you feel you need to stay here…" For once Arthur's tone was serious and not sarcastic. "I know how much she means to you."

"She'll be alright," Merlin said. "I'll come." He brushed a hand over Ryll's forehead. It was cool to the touch, and she was sleeping peacefully.

"You really care about her, don't you," Arthur said in wonderment.

"Of course, don't you?"

"Well, yes, but it's the way you look at her. Like she's the only one you could ever imagine loving…" Arthur had a faraway look in his eyes, and Merlin gawked at him for a moment. "I'm not really sure where that came from," Arthur said after a moment, shaking his head. "Forget I said that."

"You were thinking about Gwen," Merlin said with a grin.

"Merlin? Shut up." Arthur left the room, waiting for Merlin to follow. Merlin shrugged on his coat and looped a scarf around his neck before taking one last glance at Ryll. He met with Gaius in the main room and asked if he would look after Ryll while he was gone.

"Of course. She'll be in good hands," Gaius assured her. "Take care, Merlin."

"I will."

…

"Are you ready, Sister?" Morgause asked Morgana as they stood in the mist-shrouded forest. Morgana wore a simple shift, torn and dirtied. Her hair had been artfully mussed and her face smudged with dirt. She looked as if she'd been running around the woods for a year. She twisted her lips in a smile.

"I'm ready," she said. "They won't know what hit them."

"After you are settled, meet me in the Darkling Woods," Morgause requested. "I want to make sure that all is well."

"Camelot will welcome their lost daughter back with welcome arms," Morgana said. "Never fear."

"Arthur approaches," Morgause said, peering through the fog. "Be ready."

Morgana waited until Arthur's men were attacked by the bandits, watching as Arthur and the knights struck the bandits down one by one. It was the perfect cover. She would tell them that she had been kidnapped and held prisoner. She didn't think she'd ever be free. With the bandits dead, she took a step forward and started to run, deliberately cracking branches as she went. As she burst into the clearing, panting and limping, she saw Arthur with sword raised. He immediately lowered it upon seeing her. Merlin was by his side, and his eyes widened at the sight of her. She couldn't tell if it was with relief or horror. He had poisoned her after all. He had to be fearing what she would do about that; what she would say.

"Morgana," Arthur said as if he thought she might be an illusion.

Morgana smiled weakly and then collapsed theatrically to the ground. Arthur rushed forward and gathered her into his arms. "We need to get back to Camelot now," he said. He placed her on a horse, and she pretended to be unconscious as they rode back to the city. A smile played on her lips. Everything was going according to plan.

…

Merlin couldn't believe his eyes when Morgana came rushing out of the mist looking bedraggled and frightened. His suspicions were instantly aroused. Something wasn't right. She had been taken by Morgause and then had gone quite willingly with her. Arthur bought her act at once though, gathering her up in his arms when she collapsed. Merlin watched stiffly, but Morgana did look beat up and dirty. He supposed the idea was to think the bandits had kidnapped her. He knew better. Morgause never would have let that happen. He just wondered what the sorceress had in mind for Camelot and what part Morgana would play. And when she woke, would she remember that he had poisoned her? That knowledge alone could ruin Merlin. One word from Morgana and Uther would have him executed for trying to kill his ward. The only consolation was that Morgana would never turn against Ryll – would she? Then why couldn't Merlin shake the feeling that Ryll's lapse in memories in the forest had had something to do with Morgause and Morgana? Perhaps Ryll wasn't safe either. That thought frightened and angered him. Whatever Morgana was up to, he would find out.

…

Ryll had managed to sit up and eat some soup some time around midday when she had finally awoken. She'd found the room empty, the place where Merlin had slept beside her cold. Gaius had come in after awhile to check on her, but she felt much better, and he said that she bore no symptoms of anything today. She felt drained though and hadn't had the energy to move from the bed. Merlin, Gaius had told her, was off with Arthur. Knights had been slain, and they were out to investigate the attacks. Ryll realized for the first time that she didn't have to worry about Merlin quite so much. He had magic after all. He might be useless with a sword, but he was by no means defenseless. She smiled to herself at the thought. He was the most powerful man in Camelot and yet only she and Gaius knew his secret. She hadn't been using her own powers. She'd kept them at bay, trying to keep her emotions in check at all times. She knew Merlin was worried about her, but the longer she didn't use her powers, the easier it became to ignore the gnawing hunger it caused her. When she had awoken from her nightmare the night before though… She had seen the book fly against the wall. She had done that in her fear. Clearly she needed to do something more if she wished to cease using her powers completely. She vowed to look into that. Before she could contemplate this further, she heard Merlin's voice down below. Her heart picked up tempo as it always did when he was around her. He didn't come up at once, and she realized he was speaking to Gaius in a hushed tone. She strained her ears, but she couldn't make out what they were saying.

Then she heard Merlin coming to speak to her. He pushed the door open and then closed it behind him. "How are you feeling?" he asked, coming to sit on the bed beside her.

"Much better," she replied, frowning at the worry that cast shadows over his face. "What's wrong?"

"Morgana is back," Merlin said.

Ryll just stared at him for a moment, sure that she had misheard him. "Morgana is back?" she repeated. "In Camelot?"

"Yes. We found her out in the woods. She claims she was kidnapped by bandits and held captive for a year."

Ryll frowned. "But she was with Morgause," she said dazedly. "We left her with Morgause in the White Mountains. Morgause took her away." Did that mean that Morgause was dead or had the sorceress really meant Morgana harm to begin with?

"I'm not sure what happened," Merlin told her. He seemed to be holding something back.

"What is it?" she asked.

"She didn't want to come back," Merlin said. "Doesn't it all seem a little odd to you?"

"She decided she was wrong and missed home," Ryll insisted. "When can I see her?"

"She's sleeping now. Uther is going to speak to her as soon as she wakes up, so you can see her tomorrow after that."

"Merlin, is it so wrong that I'm glad to have her back?" Ryll asked, feeling upset by his lack of excitement. "Maybe you were wrong after all. She wasn't working with Morgause." Perhaps Morgause had lied about them being half-sisters. "Morgana could have easily changed her mind. She could have started back to Camelot and then been kidnapped by bandits."

"Perhaps."

"Why does this have to be hard?" Ryll asked him. "Why can't you just be happy that she's back?"

"Because there might be more to it than that. Because the last thing she remembers me doing is poisoning her." He cringed at the pained expression that passed over Ryll's face.

"I'll speak with her," Ryll told him. "She'll understand that what you did was for the safety of the entire kingdom."

"Just be careful," Merlin said. "I don't want to see you get hurt if things turn out differently than the way you want them to."

"Are you saying I'm naïve?" she asked. "To think that Morgana just wanted to come home?"

"You're not naïve. I just think you want the old Morgana back so much that you might be blinded to the possibility that she's changed," Merlin said carefully.

Ryll felt tears pricking in her eyes. What was wrong with her? She'd never cried so much before. Merlin instantly put an arm around her and pulled her into his chest. He smelled like dew and evergreens, and Ryll felt calmer at once. "It's alright," he told her. "You have a right to be upset. You can be upset with me if it helps."

"I don't want to be upset with you," she sniffled. "I just want everything to be alright again."

"It will," he promised her. "But maybe not right away."