ROLE CHANGE CHAPTER SIX

A/N: Warning: Mentions of rape

During the next week things were so hectic for Ben and Sara that apart from the photography sessions the next time he was with her again was at the wedding. She looked exquisite to Ben, the creamy-coloured wedding dress clinging to her slim figure, her chestnut hair piled into loose ringlets that framed her face. Ben felt ridiculously like a character in a musical comedy, with the braided jacket, the sash and the medals, but he did hear a couple of maids commenting on how handsome he looked. It was like water off a duck's back to Ben, it wouldn't matter if he were as handsome as Johnny Depp if Sara loathed him. He spoke his own vows from the heart apart from using Stefan's name, but Sara recited hers clearly and correctly – and without emotion.

Dinner, then an interminable ball followed, and then came the wedding night.

Ben entered the suite, dismissed the servants for the night, and found Sara already in their huge bed which suggested to him that she was shy to undress in front of him. He had to admit that was a relief. She looked tiny and vulnerable and he just wanted to hug her close, to tell her he cared for her and that he was sorry if she was carrying a broken heart for anyone else. He stifled the natural feelings of a man alone with a beautiful woman out of compassion and just said:

"It has been an exhausting day, Sara. Shall we just sleep now?"

"As you wish, Stefan" she replied coldly, "But sooner or later I have to give you a child – we may as well get this over."

"We might as well get this over."

The bitterness and hostility in those words cut him to the heart and his own reply was sharp:

"Thank you but I take no pleasure in legal rape. Tonight we just sleep."

Despite his words to her she still lay rigid and unmoving in the bed. He turned his face to the pillow and let the tears of hurt and exhaustion come.

Ben's misery continued for at least a week afterwards. He knew that as soon as Sara gave birth to a son, he could return to England, but the thought of taking her coldly and mechanically repelled him. He tried to ease the atmosphere by making small-talk but to no avail. She just lay there with that lost, empty look on her face.

Cal, on the other hand, was enjoying himself. It didn't matter to him that he wasn't being paid, though he knew that once he was satisfied that Ethan had recovered enough from his injury and the after-effects that he would have to find a job.

He enjoyed talking to all the travellers on the mini-bus, even the noisy Denise, and most of all he loved his workout. Not only did it give him a chance to be close to Sophia but he was getting a top-class workout into the bargain.

One thing was worrying him though. Ethan had attended the appointment to have his brace removed and, though he was rapidly improving, his balance was very unsteady. He would walk round holding on to walls and any loud noises seemed to upset him, because when they unnerved him and made him jump, he panicked.

Cal came home from one of his gym days to find Ethan in tears.

"Cal, I-I'm scared to go out alone. What if I fall down?"

"You silly b*gger, you're not going to fall down because I'll get you out and about when I'm not at the gym."

"And supposing I want to go out when it's not a gym day? Cal, I'm sick of this. I want my life back!"

Cal's heart dropped. It had been a long time since Ethan had been this low; he'd been improving every day.

"Sue would take you out" he began.

"Yeah, good old Sue can wheel me out in a pushchair!" snapped Ethan.

It looked as if Angry Ethan was back in the house.

He confided in Sophia, who advised him to be patient with Ethan's fear while at the same time encouraging him if he tried to walk more. He even decided to ask for Jeannie's input, hoping she wouldn't mind. She told him she was glad to talk about her balance issues as it was reassuring for others to consider her feelings instead of just dismissing her as having a mental as well as a physical problem.

"All I can tell you is that some days I feel on top of things and others I'm back to square one. One thing that drives me mad is when people say to me "But you were confident outside last week, what's changed? So if Ethan makes progress, and then goes back to being uneasy, please don't push him. He'll have a good week again sooner or later."

Cal valued the advice from everybody but, he had to admit, especially from Sophia. He started to wonder if she had a significant other in her life.

Then came one of those days when nothing went well for him. Ethan was at his most fractious and self-pitying and Cal had to apologise to Sue for his brother's attitude when she arrived. Stan was five minutes late on to the mini bus, which, added to a traffic jam, took fifteen minutes from the gym time – because of the low cost they had to be out of the building by a certain time. Denise grizzled about it to the point where he wanted to strangle her with the shoelaces on her trainers.

And, as he was ready to leave that day, he noticed a pretty blonde entering the gym. She walked over to Sophia, kissed her cheek and pulled her into a bear hug. Cal jumped to his own conclusions and decided the woman must be Sophia's partner. He should have known a woman he really liked would be off limits to him.

For Ben, there was a margin of improvement. He and Sara attended a party where dancing was part of the agenda. His dancing master would have been proud of him as he moved effortlessly round the floor.

"You have never enjoyed dancing before" Sara commented, seeing him smiling.

Whoops, he thought, am I going to have to go to Sergeant Karl's office and have my arse spanked tomorrow?

"I was determined to master this, and I am quite proud if what I achieved" he told her, which after all was the truth.

The look she gave him was searching, then she was on her guard again. But there was no denying that the look had been there.

The bombshell came one night when they were going through the same unhappy pantomime – Sara lying there, almost afraid to move, Ben turning his face to the pillow and swearing softly with a frustration that was more emotional than physical. Sara drifted into her usual unhappy, fitful sleep. Suddenly she began to plead with an invisible assailant:

"Please don't hurt me… nooooo…" her voice tailing off with a moan of pain.

Compassion made Ben drop his guard completely. He put his arms round her, shook her awake and in his own English accent, murmured:

"I've got you, sweetheart, you're safe now; just a dream."

She awoke with a start and stared at him in shock.

"You are not Stefan" she said clearly.